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    VWVortex


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    Thread: Car salesman jokes!

    1. Banned
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      12-13-2005 10:43 AM #1
      Quote »
      A man walked into a tavern and sat next to a very attractive, smartly
      dressed woman perched on a bar stool.
      "Hi there, Good Looking. How's it going?" he asked.
      The woman looked him straight in the eye and said, "Listen, I'll screw
      anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, it doesn't matter. I've
      been doing it ever since I got out of school, and I just love it!"
      "No kidding?," said the man, "I'm a salesman too! What dealership are you with?"

      post up!


      Modified by HRD GLI at 7:46 AM 12-13-2005


    2. Member merckx56's Avatar
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      12-13-2005 10:52 AM #2
      Must be slow in the old VW store today...
      ... you're not a hipster. But you definitely have hipster tendencies. Stay vigilant... like diabetes, you can manage this.
      -20DYNAMITE07

      This thread sucks -Quattro Krant

    3. Banned eppy73's Avatar
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      12-13-2005 11:15 AM #3
      A new sales assistant was hired at a large department store. On his first day, the sales manager took him around to show him the ropes. They were passing by the gardening section, when they heard a customer asking for grass seed. The sales manager stepped in.
      Sales manager: Excuse me, but will you be needing a hose to water your lawn?
      Customer : I guess so. I'll take one.
      Sales manager: And how about some fertilizer and weed-killer?
      Customer : Um, okay.
      Sales manager: Here's a couple of bags. You'll also need a lawn mower to cut the grass when it starts growing too long.
      Customer : I'll take one of those too.

      After the customer left, the sales manager turned to the assistant. "You see?" he said, "that's the way to make a good sale. Always sell more than what the customer originally came in for."

      Impressed, the assistant headed off for the pharmaceutical section, where he was to work. Soon, a man strolled in.
      Man: I'd like to buy a pack of Tampax, please.
      Sales assistant: Sure, and would you like to buy a lawn mower too?
      Man: Why would I want to do that?
      Sales assistant: Well, your weekend's shot to hell anyway, so you might as well mow the lawn.


    4. Banned eppy73's Avatar
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      12-13-2005 11:20 AM #4
      Top 10 Indications You Have the Wrong Used Car Salesman

      10. When you complain that a car has too many miles, he asks you how many miles you'd like to see on it.

      9. Has dog named "Pacer."

      8. When you crank the car and fluid rocket over your left shoulder, he notes, "Oh, that's a standard feature on all of these newer models.

      7. Uses the 'Slim Jim' strapped to his belt to open the cars for your inspection.

      6. When you ask him where the restroom is, he says, "Tell 'ya what I'm gonna do ...."

      5. Lunges behind a fern every time you mention "Mike Wallace."

      4. His bumper sticker reads, "Honk If You've Ever Reamed A Guy For Eight C-notes On A '72 Dodge Dart."

      3. Casts no shadow even in direct sunlight.

      2. Ever uses the words "excellent" and "Hyundai" in the same sentence.

      1. Tries to convince you that this car will get better mileage because it is heavier, and you will be able to "coast a lot."


    5. Member Egz's Avatar
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      12-13-2005 11:20 AM #5
      Quote »
      Car salesman jokes!

      Wait, I thought that was the punch line.

      Quote Originally Posted by cockerpunk
      that really comes down to a safety issue too. i mean if you do ANY kind of development, even the most basic stuff, you should at least be closed toe shoe.
      Quote Originally Posted by z0d
      You can't drop a SQL table on your foot.

    6. 12-13-2005 11:21 AM #6
      hah eppy73 thats a good one

    7. Banned eppy73's Avatar
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      12-13-2005 11:21 AM #7
      Quote, originally posted by Highlighter »
      hah eppy73 thats a good one
      google rocks

    8. Member MRVW00's Avatar
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      12-13-2005 11:22 AM #8
      Quote, originally posted by merckx56 »
      Must be slow in the old VW store today...

      ....like EVERY other day since the 2005 model year...

      Tucker Max of the Gays and Demokratikally Elekted Minister of Slutty Gay Whoring and Muppet Sex of the People's Independent Republik of Offtopikstan
      RIP Cosmic TDI
      Quote Originally Posted by HideYoKids View Post
      Dann is More sassy than any man with facial hair should be. It's entertaining.

    9. Member buddahvw's Avatar
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      12-13-2005 11:36 AM #9
      did you hear the one about the car salesman that ripped me off and lied to me?

      I hit him in the head with a 2x4.



    10. Senior Member JettaGT8V80's Avatar
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      12-13-2005 12:00 PM #10
      volkswagen have almost no reliabilty issues


    11. Banned GTIcharlie's Avatar
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      12-13-2005 12:06 PM #11
      Not a salesman joke,,but it made me laugh:
      " Three blondes were walking in the forest one day. They saw a set of tracks and started arguing over what kind of tracks they were.

      The first blonde said, "I think they’re deer tracks!"

      The second blonde said, "I think they’re dog tracks!"

      The third blonde said, "Well, I think they’re cow tracks!"

      They were still arguing when the train hit them.


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