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    Thread: Catz

    1. Member theAntiRiced's Avatar
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      03-09-2007 11:31 AM #401
      Quote, originally posted by LSinLV »
      yet....

      There you go again, making me think you locked one of the best threads Vortex has ever seen...
      I sold my bagged VW and bought a 5.0?

    2. 03-09-2007 12:53 PM #402
      Quote, originally posted by Capt. Obvious »

      Well, this got me LOL at work!!

    3. Member Capt. Obvious's Avatar
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      03-09-2007 04:05 PM #403
      * Excerpts from a Cat's Diary*
      Day 983 of my captivity.
      My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

      Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Fools!

      There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

      Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

      I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe....
      For now...

      And the dogs Diary:
      8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
      9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
      9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
      10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
      12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
      1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
      3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
      5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
      7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
      8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
      11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

    4. Member G-rocco's Avatar
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      03-09-2007 10:11 PM #404
      found these pics... thought they'd fit in here...
      cat in a box...

      almost there....


      there! 10 pounds of cat in a 5 pound box!

      from http://www.mykesweblog.com/herding_cats/index.html

    5. Member andi_kg's Avatar
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      03-10-2007 02:12 PM #405
      someone needs to caption those pics!
      and that dairy thing is hilarious!! i got it as an email a long time ago.
      MKIII | MKVI
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    6. 03-10-2007 03:27 PM #406
      Quote, originally posted by Capt. Obvious »
      * Excerpts from a Cat's Diary*
      Day 983 of my captivity.
      My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

      Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Fools!

      There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

      Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

      I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe....
      For now...

      And the dogs Diary:
      8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
      9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
      9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
      10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
      12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
      1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
      3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
      5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
      7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
      8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
      11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

      hahaha
      =P

    7. Member dunkaroos's Avatar
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      03-11-2007 12:40 PM #407

      dunkaroos
      2012 volkswagen jetta se, september 9 2011
      2009 honda accord lx-p sedan, august 31 2009 16k as of september 2011
      2009 lulzmobile, 1337 lpg

    8. 03-11-2007 07:58 PM #408
      Hahahahaha
      I heard the "xxxxx acquired" music in my head, too. Awesome.

    9. 03-13-2007 11:02 PM #409
      Quote, originally posted by boi retro »
      Hahahahaha
      I heard the "xxxxx acquired" music in my head, too. Awesome.

      haha seriously.....and so returns the memory of so many a sleepless night

    10. Member Richhh's Avatar
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      03-14-2007 03:25 AM #410
      first time ever in pets forum and i love it....

    11. Member JUSTINCASE1021's Avatar
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      03-14-2007 10:00 AM #411
      Quote, originally posted by Richhh »
      first time ever in pets forum and i love it....


      OSD/NEK
      I make beats...the beats don't make me....

      Alexi DeRochambeau was my hero....R.I.P.

    12. Member gti2.0016v's Avatar
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      03-14-2007 06:11 PM #412
      This was e-mailed to me, I thought some of them were pretty good.

      "Time to grab the neighbor's cat and take up art! See attached photos!!!"
      "The book these came from said some of the paint jobs cost $15,000 and had to be repeated every 3 months as the cat's hair grows out. Must be nice to have $60,000 a year just to keep your
      cat painted!"


























      I better see some good captions

      edit, forgot a couple




      Modified by gti2.0016v at 7:18 PM 3-14-2007


      Modified by gti2.0016v at 7:22 PM 3-14-2007

    13. Member VTECeateR's Avatar
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      03-14-2007 06:46 PM #413
      great thread!

    14. 03-14-2007 07:41 PM #414
      How in the world do you get a cat to hold still long enough to paint it?

    15. Member theAntiRiced's Avatar
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      03-14-2007 07:49 PM #415
      Quote, originally posted by varuna »
      How in the world do you get a cat to hold still long enough to paint it?

      I sold my bagged VW and bought a 5.0?

    16. Member KeiCar's Avatar
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      03-14-2007 09:05 PM #416

      Poor little guy
      Quote Originally Posted by Adam Carolla
      "It shouldn't be called a radar detector, it should be called a rape detector. This is my own little electronic rape whistle."
      (⦿ ⩊ ⦿) ☕︎ Coffee time!!
      (◉ ⩊ ◉) ☕︎☕︎☕︎☕︎☕︎☕︎☕︎☕︎Lots of Coffee time!!!!!!!...

    17. Member goofyboots's Avatar
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      03-14-2007 11:48 PM #417
      The book is called Why Paint Cats. I actually own it, but my participation
      in this thread is purely coincidental.
      Now, which one of you humps has got a cigarette for Dr. Rockso?

    18. Member vr6Cop's Avatar
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      03-15-2007 10:06 AM #418
      Quote, originally posted by varuna &raquo;
      How in the world do you get a cat to hold still long enough to paint it?
      Roofies.
      Page 13 ownage!
      Cheers, Adrian
      726 bottles of beer on the wall.

    19. Member JUSTINCASE1021's Avatar
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      03-15-2007 10:13 AM #419
      I always though those pics were pchops
      OSD/NEK
      I make beats...the beats don't make me....

      Alexi DeRochambeau was my hero....R.I.P.

    20. Member case sensitive's Avatar
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      03-15-2007 11:09 AM #420

      Plaid Cat is not amused.

    21. Member theAntiRiced's Avatar
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      03-15-2007 11:40 AM #421
      Quote, originally posted by case sensitive &raquo;
      Plaid Cat is not amused.

      Kittah has gone plaid
      I sold my bagged VW and bought a 5.0?

    22. 03-15-2007 01:23 PM #422
      Quote, originally posted by gti2.0016v &raquo;
      This was e-mailed to me, I thought some of them were pretty good.

      "Time to grab the neighbor's cat and take up art! See attached photos!!!"
      "The book these came from said some of the paint jobs cost $15,000 and had to be repeated every 3 months as the cat's hair grows out. Must be nice to have $60,000 a year just to keep your
      cat painted!"

      A quick Google search on painted cats revealed thia link: http://www.snopes.com/photos/arts/paintedcats.asp
      It's a fake. Have you ever tried to get a cat to do something it doesn't want? Like a bath? Try air brushing a cats face and see how much blood you lose.

    23. 03-16-2007 02:22 AM #423
      i just have to say, like every other n00bz0r on here, that this thread has me literally in tears, short of breath, and convulsing with laughter. I bow before all of you Vortex geniuses!!
      And with that, my first ever contribution to this legendary thread. Hopefully the first and worst of many!

    24. Member Shifty's Avatar
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      03-16-2007 09:30 AM #424
      Someone HAS to join the buttsecks catz!!!
      Check out MrsShifty's 16v MkIV Build!

      Robert Lackey - Service Manager, Fowler Volkswagen of Norman

    25. Member G-rocco's Avatar
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      03-16-2007 12:24 PM #425
      Ok, the local new station is having some cute-cat contest.
      http://www.nbc4.com/photovote-...click


      Click the link for more pics.

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