Everything you have written - including the video you posted - suggests that there is a very serious lack of electricity to the vehicle once you turn the ignition off.
I don't know how or why this would happen - the fact that you apparently don't have any power at the OBD connector (as well as the fact that you obviously don't have power to the clock when the ignition is turned off) very strongly suggests that there is no power coming from the left battery (the comfort battery) to the various vehicle services that are normally provided with hot battery bus power (Terminal 30 power, in VW-speak) when the ignition is off.
So, start your troubleshooting at the left battery, simply because that is the most probable cause (you have a 6 year old car) and it is the easiest component to diagnose. With the ignition off, measure the voltage at that battery. Your VW dealer will have a specialized tool called a Midtronics battery analyzer. Disconnect the positive terminal of the left battery (you can leave the ground terminal connected), hook up the Midtronics tool to the battery, and run a test. Odds are that the battery has come to the end of its life and has no juice left in it. If you have found in the past that you have to twist the ignition key back and forth to start the car, then FOR SURE your left battery is toast.
Midtronics Battery Analyzer hooked up to left battery
Disconnect the positive cable from the battery first!
Sample of the reports provided by the battery testing tool.
This takes all the guesswork out of concerns about the battery itself.
If the left battery passes the test and is found to be satisfactory, then there is a fuse blown somewhere in your car - perhaps not one of the little itty-bitty fuses that we as drivers can access, but one of the larger 'bus feeder' fuses that provides battery power to the vehicle systems when the ignition is off.
The next thing to do is an investigation into power supply at various sources in the vehicle. For example, the dome lights are normally powered when the ignition is off. Check to see if the dome light illuminates when the door is opened. If it doesn't, then you have a shortage of hot battery bus (terminal 30) power.
The analog clock has no time-keeping ability, it is just a little stepper motor, nothing more. The clock receives one impulse a minute (via the CAN bus) from the J523 Front Information Display and Control Head, which is that big display screen between the two front seats. The J523, in turn, gets some electrical power from the J519 Central Electrical Controller. This is not rocket science, it is laid out very clearly in Phaeton electrical diagram 30 (for the clock), and diagram 08 (power distribution for dual battery vehicles, both of which your VW technician has easy access to.
Basic principles of troubleshooting dictate that if electricity is not present when it should be present, you go looking for the interruption in the circuit - you don't get out your eye of newt and toe of frog and start hocus-pocus such as "capacitive discharge" ceremonies. I mean, it’s painfully obvious that there is no friggin' electricity present to discharge, for Pete's sake, a shortage of electricity the root cause of the problem! I am quite skeptical of this "capacitive discharge" proposal. I don't think it will do any more good than making a Sign of the Cross anytime you walk past a graveyard, or wearing an amulet around your neck to ward off the evil eye.
The J523 (controller 07) is normally supplied with operating power from fuse SB 17, which is in the fusebox underneath the steering wheel. The J519 (controller 09) gets electrical power from numerous fuses, including SB 10, 11, 12, 13, and 14, all of which are also in the fusebox underneath the steering wheel. The instrument cluster (controller 17) gets power from fuse SB 54. As you have probably figured out by now, if a fuse (Sicherung in German) has a B after the first letter, that means the fuse is in the panel under the steering wheel.
Begin the troubleshooting by pulling each fuse out and inspecting it for continuity, either visually or (preferably) with an ohm meter. While you have the fuse out, select the volt meter function of the electrical tool and check to see if there is power present on the bus (source) side of the fuse holder. I can tell you with almost total certainty that you are probably not going to find Terminal 30 (hot battery bus) or Terminal 15 (power when starting) power on the bus side of those fuse holders. If you check two of those fuses in a row and discover that the fuse itself is in satisfactory condition but there is no power present on the bus side of the fuse holder, it’s time to work your way upstream towards the power source.
There is a fuse box (not a panel, but a box) present in the left battery compartment, and it contains 4 very high amperage fuses (see picture below). Fuse S205 (the second fuse in that box) just happens to be the one that feeds all of the little fuses I mentioned in the previous paragraph. Fuse S207 (the first fuse in that box) just happens to provide Terminal 30 power (battery power) to the J523. If your left battery was found to be satisfactory during the first step of the troubleshooting process, then I suspect that one or more of those fuses have blown.
Fuse box (not panel, but BOX) for high amperage fuses
It is not easy to get access to that high amperage fuse box. To do so, the technician has to remove the fuse panel that is directly above the battery from its backing plate, then remove the backing plate from the holder that it snaps into. If the technician has done this several times before, it is about a 2 minute job. If the technician has not done this before, it will be a very frustrating task and he or she will probably wind up breaking some plastic parts. So, refer to this thread and very carefully read the instructions towards the bottom of page 1 that tell you how to remove both the fuse panel and the fuse panel backing plate.
The fuses inside that little box are high-amperage fuses, so, even though good troubleshooting technique suggests that “paths of influence” be followed in a logical and sequential order, for sake of safety and convenience, I suggest you actually change the above order of investigation (which is based strictly on paths of influence) so that you carry out the work in the following sequence:
1) Do the battery test with the Midtronics battery analyzer.
2) Before connecting the positive cable back onto the left battery, open the fuse box and investigate the condition of the high-amperage fuses.
3) If there are no problems found with the high amperage fuses, then go to the fuse panel under the steering wheel and investigate the smaller fuses there, as previously explained.
While your car is in the shop (after you have found and rectified the power loss problem), ask the technician to run a diagnostic scan on the vehicle. Check the software version of controller 17. It should read “xx21”, where xx are two numbers that don’t matter (probably 03). If the last two numbers are less than 21, get that controller flash-updated in accordance with the instructions at this thread: http://forums.vwvortex.com/zerothread?id=1878829]Distortion in the Display Unit in the Instrument Cluster (MFI, or Y24) [/url]. Your complaint will be that you are seeing distortion on the small display screen in the instrument cluster.
Check also the letter suffix on the end of the battery controller (controller 71). It should be C or higher. If it is A or B, refer to this post: Electrical Problems (includes TB 27-06-02, RVU, Campaign OH) .
Let me know the outcome of the shop visit.