Tracking someone down w/o appearing to be a stalker

[VW1.8Tsunami]

Say you met someone briefly and the sparks were flying (for you anyways)...yet, you went your seperate ways for the time being b/c you assumed you would run into each other again. However, you never cross paths again.

How would you go about tracking this person down w/o appearing stalker-ish?

FWIW, this person was a random person w/ whom you have no mutual friends. For example, you were on vacation and had seen someone in the lobby that you thought was extremely attractive. They also looked back and showed interest. You eventually meet them w/ a group of friends and have a small conversation. Your respective groups eventually go their own ways. You know some background like where they live, their age, other random stuff. Later on, they yell your name while walking down the street and smile.

Long story short, I met someone amazing and choked. Now I'm trying to get in contact again but don't want to be viewed as a crazy/stalker. What should I do?

[Knock Sensor]

Put her in your trunk. Just tell her you didn't want to be too stalkerish, she'll understand or else the gag stays in.

But no seriously, just facebook or myspace it. Send a private message like "hey your cute, remember me from blah blah blah, want to go to dinner om nom nom."

[VW1.8Tsunami]

Quote, originally posted by Knock Sensor »

Put her in your trunk. Just tell her you didn't want to be too stalkerish, she'll understand or else the gag stays in. But no seriously, just facebook or myspace it. Send a private message like "hey your cute, remember me from blah blah blah, want to go to dinner om nom nom."

lol, well the problem is finding his facebook...I only know his first name

[slvrdubbin]

Honestly this happened to me about 3 weeks ago. Met this very nice girl at a bar, we had a drink, talked for a bit and danced for a little... I went over to see what my friends were doing and didn't see her the rest of the night. I knew her HS/college and first name... I checked Facebook but did not see her on it. If I did find her, I'm not sure I would have sent her a message anyways. I figured maybe I'll run into her again sometime.

[VW1.8Tsunami]

Quote, originally posted by slvrdubbin »

Honestly this happened to me about 3 weeks ago. Met this very nice girl at a bar, we had a drink, talked for a bit and danced for a little... I went over to see what my friends were doing and didn't see her the rest of the night. I knew her HS/college and first name... I checked Facebook but did not see her on it. If I did find her, I'm not sure I would have sent her a message anyways. I figured maybe I'll run into her again sometime.

See that brings up another issue...we don't live in the same state. So the chances of us running into each other again are VERY slim to non existent. I think if anything is going to come out of it, I'm going to have figure something out. I've actually tracked down an aquintance that knows him but I'm not sure where that will go...

[LGBoogie19]

The real lesson from these stories is that you guys need to start becoming CLOSERS. You like a chick or dude whatever, get the number. Never hurts to get a number. Don't keep living with regrets. Become a CLOSER. If you're not a CLOSER, you'll C that you are a LOSER.

[VW1.8Tsunami]

Quote, originally posted by LGBoogie19 »

The real lesson from these stories is that you guys need to start becoming CLOSERS. You like a chick or dude whatever, get the number. Never hurts to get a number. Don't keep living with regrets. Become a CLOSER. If you're not a CLOSER, you'll C that you are a LOSER.

lol, clever

I've never had a problem 'closing' until this time. This was the first time I was ever nervous, caught off guard etc. I really thought I had blown it...but he showed me signs that he was still interested. I was just so shook up that I needed time to regroup.

To put it in perspective...this wasn't a '10', but an '11' or '12' imo. I'm NEVER nervous in that environment but it happened this time. Most people I would just brush off and not worry about but this one is different. I've never felt this way before and want to pursue it. I just don't want to freak anyone out. :-/

Say I get his contact info from his friend/aquintance...then what? How do I non-challantly inform him that I got his number/email from a random person?

[LGBoogie19]

Be honest, tell him how you got and why you got it. Honesty is always the best policy and worst case is he thinks you're a creep and doesn't talk to you. Then you still havn't lost anything.

[slvrdubbin]

Quote, originally posted by LGBoogie19 »

The real lesson from these stories is that you guys need to start becoming CLOSERS. You like a chick or dude whatever, get the number. Never hurts to get a number. Don't keep living with regrets. Become a CLOSER. If you're not a CLOSER, you'll C that you are a LOSER.

Haha well I certainly did not expect to not see her the rest of the night, or else I would have gotten the number. It's probably the first time I've failed to get a number, so I give myself a pass.

[VW1.8Tsunami]

Quote, originally posted by LGBoogie19 »

Be honest, tell him how you got and why you got it. Honesty is always the best policy and worst case is he thinks you're a creep and doesn't talk to you. Then you still havn't lost anything.

yeah, but delivery can be key. You're right though, I've got nothing to lose. That's kinda why I'm going for it. I had to get a pep talk from my friend to even make it this far so I'm def. outside of my comfort zone. Hopefully, it will end up being worth it.

[kylejamers]

Just go for it. If I were said dude, I would be flattered.

[MeineFolks'wagen]

Unless the guy felt the same way, I don't think you are going to get away with not appearing "stalkerish" on this. And lets assume you do actually get in contact with him and he felt the same way, are you prepared to go through an out of state relationship with someone that you don't even really know? Are you going to move based off of one conversation you had? Are one or both of you going to be driving/flying back and forth from one place to another to meet once a month (or whatever frequency)?

It's your choice (obviously), but I say let it go. I think I would be a bit put off if someone tracked me down (by whatever methods) from out of state to profess their undying love to me (I may be over exaggerating there, so humor me) based off of a one time meeting. "Hi, remember me? I'm the girl you met (however long ago) and I really dig you and think we should hook up. Don't worry about the fact that we aren't in the same state, we'll figure something out.". Do you even know if he felt the same way? Turn the tables on this - say some guy tracks you down out of the blue, from out of state, that you met months ago and does the same thing. You aren't going to be creeped out by it? Not even a little? Just food for though Plenty of fish in the sea......

[VW1.8Tsunami]

Quote, originally posted by MeineFolks’wagen »

Unless the guy felt the same way, I don't think you are going to get away with not appearing "stalkerish" on this. And lets assume you do actually get in contact with him and he felt the same way, are you prepared to go through an out of state relationship with someone that you don't even really know? Are you going to move based off of one conversation you had? Are one or both of you going to be driving/flying back and forth from one place to another to meet once a month (or whatever frequency)?

Woah woah woah...lets put the brakes on for a sec I just want to see him again. I'll cough up the price of one plane ticket to see where it goes. I've had a couple out-of-state relationships/dating experience so it's not that uncommon for me. I just want to see him again under different circumstances.

Quote, originally posted by MeineFolks’wagen »

It's your choice (obviously), but I say let it go. I think I would be a bit put off if someone tracked me down (by whatever methods) from out of state to profess their undying love to me (I may be over exaggerating there, so humor me) based off of a one time meeting. "Hi, remember me? I'm the girl you met (however long ago) and I really dig you and think we should hook up. Don't worry about the fact that we aren't in the same state, we'll figure something out.". Do you even know if he felt the same way? Turn the tables on this - say some guy tracks you down out of the blue, from out of state, that you met months ago and does the same thing. You aren't going to be creeped out by it? Not even a little? Just food for though Plenty of fish in the sea......

This is one I can't 'just let go'...it's been years since I've been attracted to someone this much, so I gotta atleast try. I've already convinced myself that if I come off as stalkerish, then what's the worst that can happen? I never see him again. However, if I don't even try, then guess what? I never see him again. I may embarrass myself but I'll get over it. BTW, you are def. over exagerating w/ the 'undying love'

I'm not sure if he feels the same way. I know he was attracted to me but I don't know to what extent. I'm kinda worried that I didn't show enough interest when we met the first time...I was trying to 'play it cool' but I think I did it a little to well.

I'm going for it though, what do I have to lose?...I've already got into contact w/ some friends/acquaintances who said they would tell him I was trying to get in touch w/ him.

[Vision33r]

Watch the movie "Serendipity" then you may realize that if there is a will on both side, good results will eventually happen.

[VW1.8Tsunami]

Quote, originally posted by Vision33r »

Watch the movie "Serendipity" then you may realize that if there is a will on both side, good results will eventually happen.

Well, I think I've done all I can. I've gotten in contact w/ two people that know him through a friend. Now I just have to wait and see what or if anything happens.

The craziest thing is that during my search, I've actually met/spoke to some really cool people. If anything, this is turning out to be a great networking opportuninty lol. None of them seemed put off by the fact that I was looking for someone I'd only met briefly and many of them were willing to help me out.


Modified by VW1.8Tsunami at 10:37 AM 9-22-2009

[san]

Good luck in your search. If nothing else, the journey will have been fun. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

[ClockworkChad]

PMed, have a recent and relevant story from a month ago that didnt really work out.

a few have though, and those are the ones that make it worth the effort to go for the long shots ! thats what life is about.

[firefighterjunkie]

I always just used Myspace... I've done the whole "Hey, I'm not sure if you remember me, but we ran into each other" or something like that. Never had any issues.

[ClockworkChad]

youre a girl find a guy though FFJ, guys are flattered by that, girls are mostly creeped out by some guy that was eyeing them from across the bar for 4 hours that goes home and decides he felt a connection.

[Matt15]

agreed that seeing as you're a girl, you will not be a creep unless you do something really over the top.

if it were me you were tracking down and called me up and said "hey it's so and so, i got your number from so and so because i enjoyed my time with you blah blah" and just went on like that, i wouldn't be creeped out at all. it'd be nice to know a girl would go through that kind of effort.

[VW1.8Tsunami]

Well, I've decided I'm gonna let this one go :-/ I tried but didn't come up w/ anything. If I run into him at some point, cool but in the mean time, I'm gonna stick w/ what I've been doing. Thanks for the advice.

[Vision33r]

Quote, originally posted by VW1.8Tsunami »

Well, I've decided I'm gonna let this one go :-/ I tried but didn't come up w/ anything. If I run into him at some point, cool but in the mean time, I'm gonna stick w/ what I've been doing. Thanks for the advice.

I think most guys would get frightened if a girl go to length to find out or attempt to communicate with them if they weren't formally introduced or given the opportunity to exchange contact info.

I've got experience with this and I would be turned off if this had happened.

[ClockworkChad]

Quote, originally posted by Vision33r »

I think most guys would get frightened if a girl go to length to find out or attempt to communicate with them if they weren't formally introduced or given the opportunity to exchange contact info. I've got experience with this and I would be turned off if this had happened.

eh, ive been stalked before. first in highschool, and then in college i was facebook stalked. i was flattered, both said it was because they loved my eyes

[slowvento95]

Quote, originally posted by ClockworkChad »

eh, ive been stalked before. first in highschool, and then in college i was facebook stalked. i was flattered, both said it was because they loved my eyes

I hope you like letting other people wear your skin

[ClockworkChad]

haha, im a big boy, i can put up a good fight unless they drug me first

[VW1.8Tsunami]

Quote, originally posted by Vision33r »

I think most guys would get frightened if a girl go to length to find out or attempt to communicate with them if they weren't formally introduced or given the opportunity to exchange contact info. I've got experience with this and I would be turned off if this had happened.

I can see that...we were formally introduced though. Even took pics together...just never exchanged contact info. :-/

[Vision33r]

Quote, originally posted by ClockworkChad »

haha, im a big boy, i can put up a good fight unless they drug me first

I think females are still the stronger sex, I'm no feminist, never have been.

Have you seen child birth? Ask any man would they want to go through what their wives have gone, you never see any guy raises hand.

Guys are superficially strong on the outside but we are very fragile when weakened from within.

[ClockworkChad]

Quote, originally posted by Vision33r »

I think females are still the stronger sex, I'm no feminist, never have been. Have you seen child birth? Ask any man would they want to go through what their wives have gone, you never see any guy raises hand. Guys are superficially strong on the outside but we are very fragile when weakened from within.

eh, i wouldnt want to voluntarily go through childbirth, but women dont really get punched in the face for having a smart mouth though, i STILL have a broken cheekbone from that.

[VW1.8Tsunami]

well, figured I'd update...one of my contacts said he ran into him this weekend....that's pretty much all I know Hopefully will find out more later today.

[ClockworkChad]

Quote, originally posted by VW1.8Tsunami »

well, figured I'd update...one of my contacts said he ran into him this weekend....that's pretty much all I know Hopefully will find out more later today.

good for you man, hope it works out the way you want it to

[VW1.8Tsunami]

Quote, originally posted by ClockworkChad »

good for you man, hope it works out the way you want it to

I'd be fine either way, I've had enough of a cool off period. Although, the message was vague enough to keep me curious (which I hate)...pretty much said:

"Halloween was fun, we were talking about you - ran into 'him'.

[F_your_lies]

Quote, originally posted by VW1.8Tsunami »

How would you go about tracking this person down w/o appearing stalker-ish?

You've come to the right place my friend...

[firefighterjunkie]

Quote, originally posted by VW1.8Tsunami »

I'd be fine either way, I've had enough of a cool off period. Although, the message was vague enough to keep me curious (which I hate)...pretty much said: "Halloween was fun, we were talking about you - ran into 'him'.

You can't leave us hanging!! DETAILS!!!!

[VW1.8Tsunami]

Quote, originally posted by firefighterjunkie »

You can't leave us hanging!! DETAILS!!!!

lol well I found out only a little more...my contact next reply was 'he remembered you!!!'...but no more details

I sent a reply for more info and the response was 'we were hanging out w a group of friends at the bar so we didn't go into much detail., however when he said he remembered you, I told him that you had been askig about him'. I'm thinking this was probably a good thing bc if they would have gone into details of how he knew me etc, I'd probably come off as crazy.

So I guess my mission is complete...he knows I'm asking about him and I didn't come off as

I'll keep this thread updated if anything changes.

[ClockworkChad]

congrats man ! best of luck