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    Thread: superthreadjack thread

    1. Banned StormChaser's Avatar
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      10-14-2010 10:57 AM #126
      Paris Hilton might be a total whore, but I'd still give my left nut to science for a chance to plant my seed deep inside her.

    2. Member Harpoon's Avatar
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      10-14-2010 11:09 AM #127
      I really wanna go to an oxygen bar.
      Quote Originally Posted by notavwfan View Post
      Honda Accord... they think they're FWD race car drivers and will ride your ass hard.

    3. Member mad8vskillz's Avatar
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      10-14-2010 11:16 AM #128
      Quote Originally Posted by Harpoon View Post
      I really wanna go to an oxygen bar.
      Quote Originally Posted by Harpoon View Post
      I really wanna go to an oxygen bar.
      Quote Originally Posted by Harpoon View Post
      I really wanna go to an oxygen bar.
      Quote Originally Posted by Harpoon View Post
      I really wanna go to an oxygen bar.
      Quote Originally Posted by Harpoon View Post
      I really wanna go to an oxygen bar.
      Quote Originally Posted by Harpoon View Post
      I really wanna go to an oxygen bar.
      Quote Originally Posted by Harpoon View Post
      I really wanna go to an oxygen bar.
      Quote Originally Posted by Harpoon View Post
      I really wanna go to an oxygen bar.
      Quote Originally Posted by Harpoon View Post
      I really wanna go to an oxygen bar.
      Quote Originally Posted by Harpoon View Post
      I really wanna go to an oxygen bar.
      Quote Originally Posted by Harpoon View Post
      I really wanna go to an oxygen bar.
      Quote Originally Posted by Harpoon View Post
      I really wanna go to an oxygen bar.
      Quote Originally Posted by Harpoon View Post
      I really wanna go to an oxygen bar.
      Quote Originally Posted by Harpoon View Post
      I really wanna go to an oxygen bar.
      Quote Originally Posted by Harpoon View Post
      I really wanna go to an oxygen bar.
      Quote Originally Posted by Harpoon View Post
      I really wanna go to an oxygen bar.
      Quote Originally Posted by Harpoon View Post
      I really wanna go to an oxygen bar.
      Quote Originally Posted by Harpoon View Post
      I really wanna go to an oxygen bar.
      Quote Originally Posted by Harpoon View Post
      I really wanna go to an oxygen bar.
      Quote Originally Posted by Harpoon View Post
      I really wanna go to an oxygen bar.
      Quote Originally Posted by Harpoon View Post
      I really wanna go to an oxygen bar.
      Quote Originally Posted by Harpoon View Post
      I really wanna go to an oxygen bar.
      I really wanna go to an oxygen bar
      Demokratikally Elekted Fist Lieutenant of the Outside Cavalry of the Independent People's Republik of Offtopikstan
      Quote Originally Posted by GodSquadMandrake View Post
      That's too bad but, VWVortex said so... so you have to do it now.

    4. Banned StormChaser's Avatar
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      10-14-2010 11:17 AM #129
      Haynes Manual Translations

      Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise.
      Translation: Clamp with visegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer
      counterclockwise.

      Haynes: This is a snug fit.
      Translation: You will skin your knuckles!

      Haynes: This is a tight fit.
      Translation: Not a hope in hell, bucko!

      Haynes: As described in Chapter 7...
      Translation: That'll teach you not to read through before you start;
      now you are looking at scary photos of the inside of a gearbox...

      Haynes: Pry...
      Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into...

      Haynes: Undo...
      Translation: Go buy a BIG can of WD40...

      Haynes: Retain small spring...
      Translation: "Jeez what was that, it nearly took my eye out!"

      Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb...
      Translation: "OK - that's the glass part off, now use some good
      pliers to dig out the base...

      Haynes: Lightly...
      Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your
      forehead are throbbing...

      Haynes: Routine maintenance...
      Translation: If it isn't broken... it's about to be!

      Haynes: One spanner rating.
      Translation: Your mother could do this... so how did you manage to
      botch it up?

      Haynes: Two spanner rating.
      Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a
      low, tiny, little number... but you also thought the wiring diagram
      was a map of the Tokyo underground.

      Haynes: Three spanner rating.
      Translation: OK - but don't expect us to ride in it afterwards!

      Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this...
      Translation: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

      Haynes: Compress...
      Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on, swear
      at, throw at the garage wall, then search in the dark corner of the
      garage for while muttering "Piece of Sh@t" repeatedly under your
      breath.

      Haynes: Inspect...
      Translation: Squint at really hard and pretend you know what you are
      looking at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your wife, "Yep,
      as I thought, it's broke!"

      Haynes: Carefully...
      Translation: You are about to cut yourself.

      Haynes: Retaining nut...
      Translation: Yes, that's it, that big spherical blob of rust.

      Haynes: Get an assistant...
      Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you
      know.

      Haynes: Turning the engine will be easier with the spark pugs removed.
      Translation: However, starting the engine afterwards will be much
      harder. Once that sinking pit of your stomach feeling has subsided,
      you can start to feel deeply ashamed as you gingerly refit the spark
      plugs.

      Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal.
      Translation: But you swear in different places.

      Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs...
      Translation: Snap off...

      Haynes: Using a suitable drift...
      Translation: The biggest nail in your tool box isn't a suitable drift!

      Haynes: Apply moderate heat...
      Translation: Placing your mouth near it and huffing isn't moderate
      heat.

      Haynes: Index
      Translation: List of all the things in the book but the thing you want
      to do!

    5. Geriatric Member ATL_Av8r's Avatar
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      10-14-2010 12:02 PM #130
      It doesn't matter what comes. Fresh goes better in life. With Mentos fresh and full of life.
      MemeGate 2012 - First Responder, post #2

      Quote Originally Posted by .skully.
      Mike, quote me in your signature

    6. Senior Member FlashRedGLS1.8T's Avatar
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      10-14-2010 12:25 PM #131
      Quote Originally Posted by some Ohio rag
      Federal authorities bust a nationwide Medicare fraud ring with connections here in the Valley.

      The U.S. Attorney's office in Cleveland announced the indictment Wednesday afternoon. Six people from California are accused of submitting $44 million worth of fraudulent charges to Medicare.

      The six were part of an Armenian organized crime enterprise that assumed the identities of doctors.
      Armenians

    7. 10-14-2010 12:27 PM #132
      Quote Originally Posted by FlashRedGLS1.8T View Post
      Armenians
      That's no one's business but the Turks.

    8. Member Wermz's Avatar
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      10-14-2010 12:33 PM #133
      Istanbul was Constantinople!

    9. Senior Member FlashRedGLS1.8T's Avatar
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      10-14-2010 12:36 PM #134
      Constantinople was Byzantium!

    10. Member SurferbobGolf's Avatar
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      10-14-2010 12:43 PM #135
      Testicles.


      That is all.
      Quote Originally Posted by JKREW
      These kind of threads make me want to punch puppies in the face.
      Flickr

    11. Member
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      10-14-2010 01:04 PM #136
      Can dogs smell their own farts ? They never seem to react...

    12. Member mad8vskillz's Avatar
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      10-14-2010 01:06 PM #137
      Quote Originally Posted by FlashRedGLS1.8T View Post
      Constantinople was Byzantium!
      byzantium

      chicken or egg?
      Demokratikally Elekted Fist Lieutenant of the Outside Cavalry of the Independent People's Republik of Offtopikstan
      Quote Originally Posted by GodSquadMandrake View Post
      That's too bad but, VWVortex said so... so you have to do it now.

    13. Member
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      10-14-2010 01:26 PM #138
      Quote Originally Posted by winstonsmith84 View Post
      I ate some cheese last night that was very moldy. Never rummage through the refrigerator in the dark with out your glasses. I've been puking since about 5am. Funny thing was the cheese tasted fine.
      You're trying too hard in here. Go back to the lounge, you do better work there.

    14. Banned TheGreenspanator's Avatar
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      10-14-2010 02:19 PM #139
      Quote Originally Posted by mad8vskillz View Post

      chicken or egg?

      20 Mule Team borax


    15. Member Big Morgan's Avatar
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      10-14-2010 02:23 PM #140
      Cooooooooooooooooookieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees

      nomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnom
      Quote Originally Posted by Anonymous
      Apparently, these “frat-boys” think Craig’s List is more entertaining than Survivor.

    16. Senior Member Lwize's Avatar
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      10-14-2010 03:39 PM #141
      Two old women are sitting on the couch listening to the radio when it explodes. One looks at the other

      First Pepperpot: We'll have to watch the Telly-vision!

      Second Pepperpot: Aaaaw. (sound of agreement)

      (they turn the couch so it's facing the television. One turns the television on, and they sit down. There is a small penguin sitting on top of the television set.)

      Both Pepperpots: (singing, mumbled) hhmhmhmhmh... mhmmhmh mhmhm hhmhmmhm mhmhmmhmhmh

      First Pepperpot: What's that on top of the telly-vision set?

      (pause)

      Second Pepperpot: (matter-of-factly) Looks like a penguin.

      (pause)

      Second Pepperpot: It's been a long time there, now, has it?

      First Pepperpot: What's it doin' there?

      Second Pepperpot: Standin'!

      First Pepperpot: I can see that!

      (pause)

      First Pepperpot: If it laid an egg, it would roll down the back of the telly-vision set.

      Second Pepperpot: Ummmm. I hadn't thought of that.

      First Pepperpot: Unless it's a male.

      Second Pepperpot: Yes. It looks fairly butch.

      (pause)

      First Pepperpot: Per'aps it's from next door.

      Second Pepperpot: (yelling) NEXT DOOR?!? Penguins don't come from NEXT DOOR! They come from the Antarctic!

      First Pepperpot: (yet louder) BURMA!!!

      (they both stop short, looking around)

      Second Pepperpot: Why'd'j say that?

      First Pepperpot: I panicked.

      Second Pepperpot: Oh.

      First Pepperpot: Per'aps it's from the zoo.

      Second Pepperpot: Which zoo?

      First Pepperpot: (angrily) 'ow should I know which zoo it's from?!? I'm not Doctor bloody Bernofsky!!

      Second Pepperpot: 'Oo's Doctor bloody Bernofsky?

      First Pepperpot: He knows everything.

      Second Pepperpot: Oooh, I wouldn't like that, that'd take all the mystery out of life.

      (pause)

      Second Pepperpot: Besides, if it were from the zoo, it'd have "property of the zoo" stamped on it.

      First Pepperpot: They don't stamp animals "property of the zoo"!! You can't stamp a huge lion "property of the zoo"!!

      Second Pepperpot: (confidently) They stamp them when they're small.

      First Pepperpot: (snapping back) What happens when they moult?

      Second Pepperpot: Lions don't moult.

      First Pepperpot: No, but penguins do. THERE! I've run rings around you logically.

      Second Pepperpot: (looks at the camera) OOOOH! INTERCOURSE THE PENGUIN!!!

      (The television warms up: a man is sitting behind a news desk)

      Man: Hello! Well, it's just after eight o'clock, and time for the penguin on top of your television set to explode.

      (the penguin explodes)

      First Pepperpot: 'Ow did 'e know that was going to happen?!
      :gift:

    17. Member mad8vskillz's Avatar
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      10-14-2010 03:57 PM #142
      Quote Originally Posted by Lwize View Post
      Two old women are sitting on the couch listening to the radio when it explodes. One looks at the other

      First Pepperpot: We'll have to watch the Telly-vision!

      Second Pepperpot: Aaaaw. (sound of agreement)

      (they turn the couch so it's facing the television. One turns the television on, and they sit down. There is a small penguin sitting on top of the television set.)

      Both Pepperpots: (singing, mumbled) hhmhmhmhmh... mhmmhmh mhmhm hhmhmmhm mhmhmmhmhmh

      First Pepperpot: What's that on top of the telly-vision set?

      (pause)

      Second Pepperpot: (matter-of-factly) Looks like a penguin.

      (pause)

      Second Pepperpot: It's been a long time there, now, has it?

      First Pepperpot: What's it doin' there?

      Second Pepperpot: Standin'!

      First Pepperpot: I can see that!

      (pause)

      First Pepperpot: If it laid an egg, it would roll down the back of the telly-vision set.

      Second Pepperpot: Ummmm. I hadn't thought of that.

      First Pepperpot: Unless it's a male.

      Second Pepperpot: Yes. It looks fairly butch.

      (pause)

      First Pepperpot: Per'aps it's from next door.

      Second Pepperpot: (yelling) NEXT DOOR?!? Penguins don't come from NEXT DOOR! They come from the Antarctic!

      First Pepperpot: (yet louder) BURMA!!!

      (they both stop short, looking around)

      Second Pepperpot: Why'd'j say that?

      First Pepperpot: I panicked.

      Second Pepperpot: Oh.

      First Pepperpot: Per'aps it's from the zoo.

      Second Pepperpot: Which zoo?

      First Pepperpot: (angrily) 'ow should I know which zoo it's from?!? I'm not Doctor bloody Bernofsky!!

      Second Pepperpot: 'Oo's Doctor bloody Bernofsky?

      First Pepperpot: He knows everything.

      Second Pepperpot: Oooh, I wouldn't like that, that'd take all the mystery out of life.

      (pause)

      Second Pepperpot: Besides, if it were from the zoo, it'd have "property of the zoo" stamped on it.

      First Pepperpot: They don't stamp animals "property of the zoo"!! You can't stamp a huge lion "property of the zoo"!!

      Second Pepperpot: (confidently) They stamp them when they're small.

      First Pepperpot: (snapping back) What happens when they moult?

      Second Pepperpot: Lions don't moult.

      First Pepperpot: No, but penguins do. THERE! I've run rings around you logically.

      Second Pepperpot: (looks at the camera) OOOOH! INTERCOURSE THE PENGUIN!!!

      (The television warms up: a man is sitting behind a news desk)

      Man: Hello! Well, it's just after eight o'clock, and time for the penguin on top of your television set to explode.

      (the penguin explodes)

      First Pepperpot: 'Ow did 'e know that was going to happen?!

      at first i was like but then i ed
      Demokratikally Elekted Fist Lieutenant of the Outside Cavalry of the Independent People's Republik of Offtopikstan
      Quote Originally Posted by GodSquadMandrake View Post
      That's too bad but, VWVortex said so... so you have to do it now.

    18. Member Big Morgan's Avatar
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      10-14-2010 04:01 PM #143
      ITT: Best boob pics you've ever seen.

      GO
      Quote Originally Posted by Anonymous
      Apparently, these “frat-boys” think Craig’s List is more entertaining than Survivor.

    19. Member mad8vskillz's Avatar
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      10-14-2010 04:07 PM #144
      Demokratikally Elekted Fist Lieutenant of the Outside Cavalry of the Independent People's Republik of Offtopikstan
      Quote Originally Posted by GodSquadMandrake View Post
      That's too bad but, VWVortex said so... so you have to do it now.

    20. Member TetsuoShima's Avatar
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      10-14-2010 04:10 PM #145


    21. Senior Member Lwize's Avatar
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      10-15-2010 12:30 AM #146
      This thread needs some Darkness (11/11)

      :gift:

    22. Member mad8vskillz's Avatar
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      10-15-2010 09:09 AM #147
      anyone know a good drycleaner in philly? i have a broken cv joint.
      Demokratikally Elekted Fist Lieutenant of the Outside Cavalry of the Independent People's Republik of Offtopikstan
      Quote Originally Posted by GodSquadMandrake View Post
      That's too bad but, VWVortex said so... so you have to do it now.

    23. Banned TheGreenspanator's Avatar
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      10-15-2010 09:59 AM #148
      "KYW News, the time is now 9:55. We have reports of a meteorite striking a red Honda on 295. Early reports state the car was blown into a giant hole in the ground, where investigators found the remains of Jimmy Hoffa, complete with dental records."

    24. Member redsoxreturns's Avatar
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      10-15-2010 10:33 PM #149
      yankees suck!
      Big Bopper to March Hare..We're still in the game okay? Understand this, that scag, and his floozy....They're gonna die!

    25. Banned
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      10-16-2010 02:10 PM #150

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