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    Thread: Does coffee make you poop?

    1. Member TheDarkEnergist's Avatar
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      03-31-2011 06:45 PM #36
      Quote Originally Posted by Mk1ller View Post
      So if I was going to open a coffee shop I should name it "Sip-n-Sh*t?"
      Sit. Sip. Sh*t.

      Quote Originally Posted by Surf Green View Post
      I call my morning coffee "Poop Lube".

      I can crap without it, but without coffee, I'll also end up with a raging headache at about noon, so why poke the hornet's nest?

      Your headache is probably from caffeine withdrawal. Happens to me sometimes.
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      03-31-2011 06:47 PM #37
      I don't drink coffee, and I **** plenty, thankyouverymuch.
      Deal with it.
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      03-31-2011 07:18 PM #38
      coffee on its own doesnt make me poop. but if i drank the night before, its go time after im done with the cup.

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      03-31-2011 07:39 PM #39
      I'm very glad that I hate coffee. Saves money, too.

    5. Member TheDarkEnergist's Avatar
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      03-31-2011 07:41 PM #40
      Quote Originally Posted by OOOO-A3 View Post
      I'm very glad that I hate coffee. Saves money, too.
      Get off my lawn, you dirty beanist!
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      03-31-2011 08:02 PM #41
      Quote Originally Posted by TheDarkEnergist View Post
      Get off my lawn, you dirty beanist!
      Hey, i love the beans.... if they're covered with dark chocolate....


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      03-31-2011 11:07 PM #42
      I identify with almost everything in this thread. And since it's 11pm, I can't wait to go to bed to wake up in the morning to do it all over again.

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      03-31-2011 11:12 PM #43
      Quote Originally Posted by 1.8Tquattro View Post
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      04-01-2011 01:02 AM #44
      I'm lactose intolerant and likely have IBS. Blinking and breathing makes me need to #2. Quickly.

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      04-01-2011 03:28 AM #45
      as soon as I drink it I need a bathroom...I usually don't even get all the way through the cup

    11. Member Surf Green's Avatar
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      04-01-2011 06:08 AM #46
      Quote Originally Posted by TheDarkEnergist View Post
      Your headache is most definitely from caffeine withdrawal.
      FTFY.
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      04-01-2011 06:41 AM #47
      Yes.

      And i happen to be in the middle of drinking my morning 3/4 of a pot right now. Before I walk out the door for work, I'll be a little lighter

    13. Member mavric_ac's Avatar
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      04-01-2011 06:46 AM #48
      Quote Originally Posted by OOOO-A3 View Post
      I'm very glad that I hate coffee. Saves money, too.
      i refuse to buy coffee at coffee shops. Screw paying 5$ for a coffee with some fruity name

      I know people who buy those expensive ones everyday that money adds up pretty quick when you paying 5$+ sometimes twice a day.

      I buy my beans and not the fair trade kind, mine need to be picked by people making a quarter a day. I find it gives them extra character and flavor. Then grind them and have a french press that makes a perfect two cups.

      I love coffee
      Last edited by mavric_ac; 04-01-2011 at 06:49 AM.
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      04-01-2011 08:34 AM #49
      Quote Originally Posted by mavric_ac View Post
      I buy my beans and not the fair trade kind, mine need to be picked by people making a quarter a day. I find it gives them extra character and flavor.
      Yeah - that extra 'flavor' is a special ingredient from the pissed off laborers. I buy fair trade whole bean style and frech press on the weekend. Drip during the week, sometimes cream and sugar, sometimes none, depends on the mood.

      And staying on topic (is that allowed in OT?) I cannot help but dookie multiple times a day. Lactose intolerance, plus roughage will do that to you.
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      Therefore, even mild disturbances such methods may be used: diamond cut rope ..

    15. 04-01-2011 09:19 AM #50
      dropping a deuce right now. I love laptops.

    16. Member a3lad's Avatar
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      04-01-2011 09:28 AM #51
      Quote Originally Posted by StormChaser View Post
      Seriously, you've never had coffee pee?
      i never noticed such thing.. could be i dont necessarily make additional effort in surveying aromas while taking a sh!t, maybe the coffee pee scent is masked by the smells emanating from my ass and the turds accumulating below it in the bowl. perhaps i should attempt to split up the pee & poo events so i can witness such thing..

    17. Member 20DYNAMITE07's Avatar
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      04-01-2011 09:32 AM #52
      Quote Originally Posted by a3lad View Post
      i never noticed such thing.. could be i dont necessarily make additional effort in surveying aromas while taking a sh!t, maybe the coffee pee scent is masked by the smells emanating from my ass and the turds accumulating below it in the bowl. perhaps i should attempt to split up the pee & poo events so i can witness such thing..
      Wait... you never just pee??? What is this, i don't know...

      LOL

      Seriously, i've had coffee-wee, but then again... i also get Honey Nut Cheerios pee. True story.

      As for dropping Bieber at the pool, coffee only occasionally does that for me. My brother on the other hand... the second he smells it brewing - his bowels start brewing.
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    18. Member a3lad's Avatar
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      04-01-2011 09:45 AM #53
      i guess i never just pee after coffee, i will make an effort for you

    19. Member leitmotif's Avatar
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      04-01-2011 09:47 AM #54
      I was drinking it. And I just did...


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      04-01-2011 12:07 PM #55
      Coffee (caffeine) makes me drowsy (seriously), so I can't drink it. Sure love the smell of it though.

    21. Member Boxer2100's Avatar
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      04-01-2011 12:11 PM #56
      Quote Originally Posted by Turbiodiesel! View Post
      Accursed office dookers. I just went to take a piss and it smelled like somebody had taken a **** in a paper bag and lit it on fire. What the hell-ass did you eat for lunch, old man?
      Would you prefer we hold it in for 8 hours and fart up the office?

    22. Member Row1Rich's Avatar
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      04-01-2011 03:44 PM #57
      Quote Originally Posted by ATL_Av8r View Post
      Ugh. Work ****ter. I hate your kind
      Yeah, I've been known to drive home to take a dump, WILL NOT DO IT AT WORK...EVER!!

      Oh, I meant to add that Peets has a huge roasting factory 1/4 mile from my office, when the wind is just right it smells focking fantastic outside. Just add cream and sugar. Too bad I can't drink it anymore
      Last edited by Row1Rich; 04-01-2011 at 03:58 PM.

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      04-01-2011 03:51 PM #58
      Quote Originally Posted by abawp View Post
      Coffee (caffeine) makes me drowsy (seriously), so I can't drink it. Sure love the smell of it though.
      if caffeine makes your sleepy, there's a pretty good chance you have some form of ADD or ADHD. This is why I can drink coffee and go to bed. I don't have ADD, but my brother and my dad do. This gives me the genetic inclination of the ADD effects.

      When you have ADD, stimulants slow you down, that's why all those wacky college kids take Addorall to stay up all night.

    24. Member sjt1985's Avatar
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      04-01-2011 03:54 PM #59
      Quote Originally Posted by synthsis View Post
      if caffeine makes your sleepy, there's a pretty good chance you have some form of ADD or ADHD. This is why I can drink coffee and go to bed. I don't have ADD, but my brother and my dad do. This gives me the genetic inclination of the ADD effects.

      When you have ADD, stimulants slow you down, that's why all those wacky college kids take Addorall to stay up all night.
      JLP? Is that you?
      Quote Originally Posted by feliks View Post
      I do not want to think what would have happened, if as a result of the vibrations, the resulting leaks in the fuel pool and the water came out of it ... Almost as a result of radiation inside the building and its three filling remains, you can not to re-seal it. ..

      Therefore, even mild disturbances such methods may be used: diamond cut rope ..

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      04-01-2011 03:58 PM #60
      Quote Originally Posted by sjt1985 View Post
      JLP? Is that you?
      nope. Don't give me the JLP treatment for giving a legit answer I'll come pour piping hot coffee all over your crotch

    26. Member abawp's Avatar
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      04-01-2011 04:06 PM #61
      Quote Originally Posted by synthsis View Post
      if caffeine makes your sleepy, there's a pretty good chance you have some form of ADD or ADHD. This is why I can drink coffee and go to bed. I don't have ADD, but my brother and my dad do. This gives me the genetic inclination of the ADD effects.

      When you have ADD, stimulants slow you down, that's why all those wacky college kids take Addorall to stay up all night.
      Strangely enough, I've never had a need to be looked at for ADD/ADHD as I've never displayed the symptoms, I have no trouble keeping focus. No one in my family has been diagnosed with ADD either but the drowsy effects of caffeine are not unique to myself. One of my Uncles and his son (my cousin obviously) both had negative effects from caffeine (not sure if they still do), neither of which have ADD/ADHD.

      It's not so much that caffeine makes me drowsy as it make me crash hard shortly after. For 5-10 minutes after consumption I'll get the "buzz" but for the rest of the day I'll be drowsy, lethargic, quivery, and just down right unmotivated. Sleepy was probably not the best way to describe it, "unplugged" would probably be more accurate.

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      04-01-2011 09:26 PM #62
      Quote Originally Posted by 1.8Tquattro View Post
      LOL!
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      04-03-2011 06:26 AM #63
      coffee pretty much purges my body of all liquid, i swear. I can drink a tall cup and be pissing every 15 mins for hours... but damn i loved me an iced coffee in the summertime
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      04-03-2011 06:37 AM #64
      Quote Originally Posted by 22AudiQ View Post
      I'm lactose intolerant and likely have IBS. Blinking and breathing makes me need to #2. Quickly.
      I share your pain. I have post-cholecystectomy (gallbladder removal) syndrome, which is a lot like IBS. And I'm lactose intolerant. Just thinking about food can send me running screaming for the bathroom.

      Which is why, while I like coffee, I have it on only -rare- occasions. I tend to drink tea instead, it seems to soothe the savage beast that is my GI tract.
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      04-03-2011 09:46 AM #65
      Sometimes it does. If i have an empty stomach in the morning it gives me some serious cramps once in a while, but like a dummy i keep drinking it. Just now my morning coffee pushed out yesterday's menu choices with a quickness.

      And back to my pot o' coffee i go. Good day chaps!
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      04-04-2011 01:13 AM #66
      The other night, I was having over this hot blonde.

      THE hot blonde I've been trying to land for awhile. About 10 minutes before arrival I let out the biggest fart that I swear the neighbors heard across the street. As I laugh hysterically at my achievement, near the end I said "UH OH!"

      I sharted.

      A sneaky f*cker too. Thank God, I had clean sheets. I rushed to changed sheets while on crutches so hottie would never know. They I managed to take a giant dump, along with a quick shower, just in the nick of time...stressful.
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      04-04-2011 08:45 AM #67
      Only does it to me if i've had oatmeal or some other type of hot thick bfast. I blame it on the coffee when i go at work, but really its just an old habit from hating my job at fred meyer.

      My bro does it too, we call it One-Man Business Meetings.
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      04-04-2011 01:12 PM #68
      Quote Originally Posted by Turq View Post
      I share your pain. I have post-cholecystectomy (gallbladder removal) syndrome, which is a lot like IBS. And I'm lactose intolerant. Just thinking about food can send me running screaming for the bathroom.

      Which is why, while I like coffee, I have it on only -rare- occasions. I tend to drink tea instead, it seems to soothe the savage beast that is my GI tract.
      I hear ya. Definitely sucks-- and lactose/whey/milk are in everything. I've tried all kinds of stuff and it never seems to get any better. I did just find that Kraft Natural Cheese has 0g of lactose per serving. Is it lactose free? No, but I can pretty much eat it without much incident. May want to check it out because it's so nice to have cheese again. BTW, Baker's brand chocolate chips are dairy-free.

      Seeing a gastro doc soon. Hoping they can help.

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      04-04-2011 01:30 PM #69
      I looked at my coffee maker today and crapped.
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      04-04-2011 01:43 PM #70
      Quote Originally Posted by TheDarkEnergist View Post
      Sit. Sip. Sh*t.
      .
      I just had a great idea for a coffee shop.
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