This is the god damn RANT thread.

[BRealistic]

Spend 2 hours cutting up my arms in the engine bay doing a intake manifold gasket swap, only to finish it and still have the same issue as I was before. I'm taking it to the shop tomorrow.

If it makes you feel any better- I swapped out the 5 speed tranamission in my 84 Celica only to find out the brand new Autozone master cylinder was causing the grinding issue.
**** Autobone.

[KeiCar]

He still does the "who the F sells this S" routine where he calls numbers for seemingly crazy ads in the local CL to see if their ads are secret code for sexual encounters or something.

That gives me a goldmine of ideas. I think Im going to put up for sale tomorrow a used pencil. Just one (1) pencil, 90% life left, super sharp, no teeth marks, eraser tip only used once...ect ect. I think Ill put it up for .90, just to see who bites

[BRealistic]

**** all meteorologists.
All of them!

Today the forecast was for VERY hot and dry.
But then OUT OF NOWHERE we had severe thunderstorms appear tonight... like in 30 minutes we went from nothing on radar to super cells everywhere!

Hail!!! Winds!!!

What exactly do meteorologists do?

[turbinepowered]

**** all meteorologists.
All of them!

Today the forecast was for VEYR hot and dry.
But then OUT OF NOWHERE we had severe thunderstorms appear... like in 30 minutes we went from nothing on radar to super cells everywhere.
What exactly do meteorologists do?

Oh, I see you got the storms I sent you.

We went from a cloudless sky to whip-lightning thunderstorms in five minutes. They've only just now let up.

Weather forecast? "Hot and humid, but with 30% chance of rain." No mention of thunderstorms at all.

I had to scramble to recover the open sunroof on my coupe, I was trying to see if I could get the rail reattached so it would work properly again.

[hrama803]

My rant:

women.

Thats all

[BRealistic]

My rant:

women.

Thats all

Women? F*ck them all.

[FlashRedGLS1.8T]

Still no electric. F you storm!

[Surf Green]

Still no electric. F you storm!

The estimate for us is Friday.

It's going to be epic on the 4th... Our road is one of the major parking areas for the local display, and both sides of the street are piled with broken branches, and no streetlights.

[FlashRedGLS1.8T]

The estimate for us is Friday.

That's the same thing we got, Friday.

[GreenWagen]

That's the same thing we got, Friday.

Yikes, maybe time to invest in a generator.

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[FlashRedGLS1.8T]

Yikes, maybe time to invest in a generator.

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While mine is a PITA to deal with, it's better than cleaning out and tossing all of our fridge/freezer stuff.

[GeoffD]

I got a letter bomb email from human resources informing me that $50K of my compensation is being moved to an "incentive" program that is mostly tied to company performance metrics that are unattainable. If the company doesn't get to 75% of a metric (sales, gross profit margin, net profit), I don't get a dime of it. Even worse, the money, if there is any, doesn't show up until after the books are audited in April. If you get laid off, you don't see a dime of it. If you quit, you don't see a dime of it. Basically, I just got a $50,000/year pay cut.

[Hostile]

Still no electric. F you storm!

My office is closed today so you shut your whore mouth!

[zukiphile]

I got a letter bomb email from human resources informing me that $50K of my compensation is being moved to an "incentive" program that is mostly tied to company performance metrics that are unattainable. If the company doesn't get to 75% of a metric (sales, gross profit margin, net profit), I don't get a dime of it. Even worse, the money, if there is any, doesn't show up until after the books are audited in April. If you get laid off, you don't see a dime of it. If you quit, you don't see a dime of it. Basically, I just got a $50,000/year pay cut.

Reminded me of Cool Hand Luke.

Them clothes has got laundry numbers
on 'em. You remember your number and
always wear the ones that has your
number. Any man forgets his number
spends a night in the box.
(passing out spoons)
This yere spoon you keep with you
and any man loses his spoon spends a
night in the box. There is no playing
grabass or fighting in the building.
You got a grudge against another man
you can fight him Saturday afternoon.
Any man playing grabass or fighting
in the building spends a night in
the box. First bell is at five minutes
of eight when you will get in your
bunk and last bell is at eight...

[winstonsmith84]

Basically, I just got a $50,000/year pay cut.

I'll assume you are presently updating your resume.

[DonPatrizio]

I went to Concepts today because I pre-qualified for study that paid $475, but I was turned down at the first appointment because the lady said my arms are too hairy!

[NEP]

Power outage during heat wave.

Got icee to deal with heat.
Sweating in the shade with a brain freeze.

EDIT.

And I got so bored with the power off that I actually pulled out my work laptop (with charged battery) and did some WORK.
I actually find work less boring that sitting around without the TV and internet (and electricity).
What is wrong with me?

Wow. America at it's finest.

[Hostile]

Rant: Eat real food, dammit, not bull****!


Get goat/sheep milk cheese. Peccorino romano, sheep feta... I even found some awesome sheep brie at Costco, and goat mozzarella at a supermarket. Spanish Manchego cheese is sheep, not cow, and is wonderful. 'Rosey Goat' (Caprillice) is goat cheese crusted with rosemary - un****ingbelievably good.

Y'all realise that your problem isn't *milk*, right? It's lactose. You don't need to eat flavoured plastic to avoid lactose, you just need to avoid *cow* milk (or use cow milk that is treated with the lactase enzyme that breaks down lactose, like Lactaid brand milk or equivalent). Cheese made from sheep or goat milk is perfectly fine. You can also find butter, sour cream, cottage cheese, etc. made from lactase-treated milk, but those are really hard to find in most stores.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lactose_intolerance

Milk
Human milk has a high lactose content, around 9%. Unprocessed cow milk is about 4.7% lactose. Unprocessed milk from other bovids contains a similar fraction of lactose (goat milk 4.7%,[25] buffalo 4.86%,[26] yak 4.93%,[27] sheep 4.6%)

You were saying?

As far as cheeses go sharp cheddars have little-to-no lactose, the sharper the cheese the lesser the lactose. The creamier the cheese, the worse my stomach handles it.

[worth_fixing]

*never mind*

[fahrfast]

That gives me a goldmine of ideas. I think Im going to put up for sale tomorrow a used pencil. Just one (1) pencil, 90% life left, super sharp, no teeth marks, eraser tip only used once...ect ect. I think Ill put it up for .90, just to see who bites

Adam is the king of rant (don't ya just hate people who call celebs by their first name even though they aren't...) . He actually reserves a section of the show were he freestyle rants.

He has pretty much taken the rant art form to a new level IMHO although I must admit this thread has also been inspirational ;-).

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[atomicalex]

Basecamp is making me insane.

[Mr. Roloff]

Mo'****ing diet and ****. Go to the field for 3 weeks, get the pissy poo, can't get my intestines right. Run around with 60 pounds of **** on. Feel good around 2 days before I get home. Get home and now I'm toast. Can't run 3 miles without feeling like a donkey's anus.

Damn you summer! Damn you military food! And damn you summer school for not giving me a hot damn break. **** like this leads to alcoholism.

[95GTIVR6Speed]

**** you Mickey Dees for not restocking the TP for my BM. Hope you enjoy my left sock that clogged your ****ter.

[BRealistic]

Wow. America at it's finest.

Qu'est-ce que vous avez dit?

[FBMphil]

The green curry I had for lunch today was f***ing terrible. Your red curry? Kicks ass all up and down the block. If I had paid for my lunch today, I'd have thrown it at the window out of principle.

[GeoffD]

I'll assume you are presently updating your resume.

Nope. Instead, I got on the phone with the president of the company and expressed my concern that a number of people, including me, would find their new compensation package unacceptable and leave the company. I expect I'll get my base pay increased significantly, a smallish raise, and only a relatively small amount of money in play in this "incentive" plan. I was told they'd be dealing with it after July 4th week.

If I don't hear anything by next Friday July 13th or they come back with something I can't accept, then yeah, the job search gets engaged.

[Heathcliff Huxtable]

one of the guys i work with is a 25 year old with a MS environmental engineering going for his PE. feels the need to say ECK-cetera, ECK-cetera after EVERY SENTENCE IN MEETINGS. it's infuriating.

[22AudiQ]

Hey you. Yeah, you kids. You standing there, nearly my age, with your flat bill hats and stupid looking shoes outside of a Taco Bell?

You're at a bus stop.

I could tell by what you were yelling that you weren't a fan of my Miata. You questioned my sexual preferences and my car.

Let me tell you a few things:

1. Before you insult someones car, OWN A CAR YOURSELF. It's like a paraplegic making fun of someone's dancing.
2. You know what's more "gay" than a Miata? Two grown dudes living in Ohio taking a bus from Taco Bell together.

I'm not mad or insulted. Just aggravated you couldn't/won't see the irony in your actions.

[fahrfast]

Centimeter:

It is pronounced centi-meter, not sonta-meter. There is no measurement unit called a sonta-meter, god d-mmit!



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[FlashRedGLS1.8T]

Hey you. Yeah, you kids. You standing there, nearly my age, with your flat bill hats and stupid looking shoes outside of a Taco Bell?

You're at a bus stop.

I could tell by what you were yelling that you weren't a fan of my Miata. You questioned my sexual preferences and my car.

Let me tell you a few things:

1. Before you insult someones car, OWN A CAR YOURSELF. It's like a paraplegic making fun of someone's dancing.
2. You know what's more "gay" than a Miata? Two grown dudes living in Ohio taking a bus from Taco Bell together.

I'm not mad or insulted. Just aggravated you couldn't/won't see the irony in your actions.

I already drive a base Subaru Impreza, I'm sure when I add a Miata to my stable, everyone will assume I'm either gay or that I am a woman dressed up like a man.

[Ubel GLI]

one of the guys i work with is a 25 year old with a MS environmental engineering going for his PE. feels the need to say ECK-cetera, ECK-cetera after EVERY SENTENCE IN MEETINGS. it's infuriating.

I found your issue. Tell him to get a real engineering degree.

/MechE hate

[Turbio!]

one of the guys i work with is a 25 year old with a MS environmental engineering going for his PE. feels the need to say ECK-cetera, ECK-cetera after EVERY SENTENCE IN MEETINGS. it's infuriating.

There's a guy in my office who uses "kinda thing" as punctuation/verbal diarrhea when he's unclear about something or thinking while he's talking. It barely even makes sense. "So this, uh, Uintah Basin Hookless Cactus kinda thing? Is it an endangered species...kinda thing? Because, we're gonna have to a rewrite if it's endangered because I thought it was an, ah, threatened species kind of thing."

I will shank you in the face kinda thing, mother****er.

[atomicalex]

If you are going to market your glove for racing and give it a name that includes the word "race", dontcha think it might be good if it actually is a glove intended for use in the racing environment?

I don't like that your best answer for why your stupid glove tore itself apart on my hand is that you make better gloves that you can more comfortably recommend for racing, and that the glove I bought because it was sold as a sturdy racing glove is not one of them.

Sorry, Held, you are no hero to me. And like I said in my email, I will vote with my $$$. In this case, for someone else's products.....

[Tiberius]

I don't understand how somebody can get angry (at me) about that scene in Father of the Bride II when Steve Martin, in his Austin-Healey, pulls up next to the woman in the Ferrari. Suddenly, I'm a disgusting chauvinist because I don't say much in response to "Pretty girl. Men are disgusting."

[GtIVR6-RJ]

There's a guy in my office who uses "kinda thing" as punctuation/verbal diarrhea when he's unclear about something or thinking while he's talking. It barely even makes sense. "So this, uh, Uintah Basin Hookless Cactus kinda thing? Is it an endangered species...kinda thing? Because, we're gonna have to a rewrite if it's endangered because I thought it was an, ah, threatened species kind of thing."

I will shank you in the face kinda thing, mother****er.

well long story short I was having some trouble with it but, long story short, I managed to fix it. Long story short I was born in 1990 around New England at exactly 10:46:32 am, long story short................

^every single story one of my friends tells.
if you're gonna tell me the WHOLE F*CKING STORY anyway, stop saying you're making a long story shorter, you are telling a long story and making me hate you for it.