Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. A normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow.
**** all meteorologists.
All of them!
Today the forecast was for VERY hot and dry.
But then OUT OF NOWHERE we had severe thunderstorms appear tonight... like in 30 minutes we went from nothing on radar to super cells everywhere!
What exactly do meteorologists do?
We went from a cloudless sky to whip-lightning thunderstorms in five minutes. They've only just now let up.
Weather forecast? "Hot and humid, but with 30% chance of rain." No mention of thunderstorms at all.
I had to scramble to recover the open sunroof on my coupe, I was trying to see if I could get the rail reattached so it would work properly again.
Still no electric. F you storm!
I got a letter bomb email from human resources informing me that $50K of my compensation is being moved to an "incentive" program that is mostly tied to company performance metrics that are unattainable. If the company doesn't get to 75% of a metric (sales, gross profit margin, net profit), I don't get a dime of it. Even worse, the money, if there is any, doesn't show up until after the books are audited in April. If you get laid off, you don't see a dime of it. If you quit, you don't see a dime of it. Basically, I just got a $50,000/year pay cut.
Them clothes has got laundry numbers
on 'em. You remember your number and
always wear the ones that has your
number. Any man forgets his number
spends a night in the box.
(passing out spoons)
This yere spoon you keep with you
and any man loses his spoon spends a
night in the box. There is no playing
grabass or fighting in the building.
You got a grudge against another man
you can fight him Saturday afternoon.
Any man playing grabass or fighting
in the building spends a night in
the box. First bell is at five minutes
of eight when you will get in your
bunk and last bell is at eight...
Last edited by zukiphile; 07-02-2012 at 09:45 AM.
I went to Concepts today because I pre-qualified for study that paid $475, but I was turned down at the first appointment because the lady said my arms are too hairy!
Kegels - Team My Little Pony | zukiphile: VMG's resident bigot, specializing in obfuscation
Pearl Jam - Hartford 2010 | Soundgarden - Mansfield 2011 | Chris Cornell - Torrington 2011 | Rush - Bridgeport 2012 | Soundgarden - NYC 2013 | Soundgarden - Wallingford 2013
You were saying?Milk
Human milk has a high lactose content, around 9%. Unprocessed cow milk is about 4.7% lactose. Unprocessed milk from other bovids contains a similar fraction of lactose (goat milk 4.7%, buffalo 4.86%, yak 4.93%, sheep 4.6%)
As far as cheeses go sharp cheddars have little-to-no lactose, the sharper the cheese the lesser the lactose. The creamier the cheese, the worse my stomach handles it.
Last edited by worth_fixing; 07-02-2012 at 01:15 PM.
Adam is the king of rant (don't ya just hate people who call celebs by their first name even though they aren't...) . He actually reserves a section of the show were he freestyle rants.
He has pretty much taken the rant art form to a new level IMHO although I must admit this thread has also been inspirational ;-).
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Mo'****ing diet and ****. Go to the field for 3 weeks, get the pissy poo, can't get my intestines right. Run around with 60 pounds of **** on. Feel good around 2 days before I get home. Get home and now I'm toast. Can't run 3 miles without feeling like a donkey's anus.
Damn you summer! Damn you military food! And damn you summer school for not giving me a hot damn break. **** like this leads to alcoholism.
**** you Mickey Dees for not restocking the TP for my BM. Hope you enjoy my left sock that clogged your ****ter.
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!
The green curry I had for lunch today was f***ing terrible. Your red curry? Kicks ass all up and down the block. If I had paid for my lunch today, I'd have thrown it at the window out of principle.
If I don't hear anything by next Friday July 13th or they come back with something I can't accept, then yeah, the job search gets engaged.
one of the guys i work with is a 25 year old with a MS environmental engineering going for his PE. feels the need to say ECK-cetera, ECK-cetera after EVERY SENTENCE IN MEETINGS. it's infuriating.
Hey you. Yeah, you kids. You standing there, nearly my age, with your flat bill hats and stupid looking shoes outside of a Taco Bell?
You're at a bus stop.
I could tell by what you were yelling that you weren't a fan of my Miata. You questioned my sexual preferences and my car.
Let me tell you a few things:
1. Before you insult someones car, OWN A CAR YOURSELF. It's like a paraplegic making fun of someone's dancing.
2. You know what's more "gay" than a Miata? Two grown dudes living in Ohio taking a bus from Taco Bell together.
I'm not mad or insulted. Just aggravated you couldn't/won't see the irony in your actions.
Remember: someone is happy with less than you have.
Gary Johnson 2012
It is pronounced centi-meter, not sonta-meter. There is no measurement unit called a sonta-meter, god d-mmit!
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I will shank you in the face kinda thing, mother****er.
The Cooking Animal is my side project: a blog for horngry food geeks. Check it out!
If you are going to market your glove for racing and give it a name that includes the word "race", dontcha think it might be good if it actually is a glove intended for use in the racing environment?
I don't like that your best answer for why your stupid glove tore itself apart on my hand is that you make better gloves that you can more comfortably recommend for racing, and that the glove I bought because it was sold as a sturdy racing glove is not one of them.
Sorry, Held, you are no hero to me. And like I said in my email, I will vote with my $$$. In this case, for someone else's products.....
A(u). Klasse A, unbeschrankt, ungedrosselt
Compared to a British roadster, all Volkswagens are reliable!
nevAr Lose - DE Minister of Foreign Affairs - IPROfftopikstan
I don't understand how somebody can get angry (at me) about that scene in Father of the Bride II when Steve Martin, in his Austin-Healey, pulls up next to the woman in the Ferrari. Suddenly, I'm a disgusting chauvinist because I don't say much in response to "Pretty girl. Men are disgusting."
^every single story one of my friends tells.
if you're gonna tell me the WHOLE F*CKING STORY anyway, stop saying you're making a long story shorter, you are telling a long story and making me hate you for it.
wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff.