This is the god damn RANT thread.

[OOOO-A3]

My current employment situation sucks. Not the work, but the (lack of) schedule. Also, the fact that the three bosses above me are a racist teabagger, a drunk, and a backstabbing manipulative liar who misrepresents EVERYTHING. The biggest problem is that my pay sucks.... I'm barely making it paycheck-to-paycheck. I want out of this job so bad I can't stand it.

Potential new job No. 1 told me that they'd get me in for an interview ASAP, but that was 3 weeks ago. Not a good sign. The work would be vastly different, a LOT more money, and potential to get another even better job in a year.

Potential new job No. 2 was presented as a major upgrade for me in rank and pay, and likely to happen in August. After a phone call today, it's now looking like 0 upgrade in rank and pay, and WTF knows when it may happen.

In the next few weeks I'll be sent for yearly recurrent training at my current job. If I do that, I'm obligated for a year (they'll make me sign a contract that says if I leave before 1 year I owe them $$,$$$, even though such contracts are illegal in Delaware). If I refuse to sign I'll be terminated. If I sign and either of the other jobs come along, I can't afford to quit and take them. And since I'm barely breaking even right now, I haven't been able to save enough to quit and make it until finding something else.

I am so ****ing stressed right now I can't do anything except walk around shaking from adrenaline all day. I'm freaking out, man.

[White Jetta]

Dear employer,

Everyone along with god knows that the parent company sold us recently. Stop beating around the bush and tell everyone WTF is going on already. Are we carrying on like the last 4 acquisitions, or are we finally closing the doors and out of work?

[foxtrot762]

Netflix movie review 'critics', jump in a river you pretentious twits.

[TheGreenspanator]

Dear employer,

Everyone along with god knows that the parent company sold us recently. Stop beating around the bush and tell everyone WTF is going on already. Are we carrying on like the last 4 acquisitions, or are we finally closing the doors and out of work?

Sitting in the same boat right now :/ Good luck dude

Sent from my shoe phone

[White Jetta]

Sitting in the same boat right now :/ Good luck dude

Sent from my shoe phone

So many rumors and speculation drives people nuts! This company has been in business for 30+ years and bought out 5 times already, and it's never been so hush-hush before.

Good luck as well

[CJ318]

If you can't take the heat stay the F out of the kitchen...

Go ahead, act like a jerkoff but don't be upset when I call you out on your bs

[Mr. Roloff]

Why do females see fit to ALWAYS stir up some **** in this day and age?

Finally meet a regular chick and have a drama-free thing going and some broad under the guise of a girl from my FB page emailed her. I think I know who it is, but would like to see if tracking where the email came from is possible.

[AKADriver]

Dear wife, don't be surprised that I get irritated when you go to the grocery store for 3 hours and come home with fruit roll ups and yogurt. You bought literally 15 items and 10 of them were processed junk items. Next time I will do the grocery shopping.

She's getting a little meat on the side.

[Assle]

Dear co-"worker," and I use that term as loosely as ****ing possible...

No one asked for your ****ing input on this matter. No one gives a **** what your opinion is and the defense to your unasked for ****ing opinion cannot be "because I said so." You're not my parent... hell, you're not anyone's ****ing anything. **** YOU. The next time you feel like opening your fat ****ing mouth, just do yourself a favor and ****ing don't. I hope you sprain your ankle so hard that you completely tear your Achille's Tendon in multiple places so it is never repaired ever and you can't play soccer you ****ing **** that no one wants to deal with. The world would be a better ****ing place with you, you ****.

Gah, I ****ing hate you.

[GeoffD]

I got a letter bomb email from human resources informing me that $50K of my compensation is being moved to an "incentive" program that is mostly tied to company performance metrics that are unattainable. If the company doesn't get to 75% of a metric (sales, gross profit margin, net profit), I don't get a dime of it. Even worse, the money, if there is any, doesn't show up until after the books are audited in April. If you get laid off, you don't see a dime of it. If you quit, you don't see a dime of it. Basically, I just got a $50,000/year pay cut.

Update on my July 1 rant

The $50K was revised to $29K about 4 weeks ago. My response was to inform them that this was unacceptable and I'd be seeking employment elsewhere. That precipitated several phone calls and a face-to-face meeting with the President.

Verbally, I now have a title change so they can save face, a modest $5K raise, and the incentive plan part is being shrunk down to $20K per year. For 2012, it's only the 2nd half of the year ($10K in the program). I'll end up making more in 2012 than I would have before this nonsense happened and my 2013 cash flow won't be too different from what I'm seeing now.

[intoflatlines]

Dear women drivers,

Please stop cutting through busy parking lots, driving perpendicular to the parking aisles/lanes. It's dangerous. And when I honk at you when you dart out in front of me, you throw your hands up in the air, as if you don't know why I might be honking, or maybe you think that I'm a dick. This is stupid, and so are you.

[Xetabur]

Dear women drivers,

Please stop cutting through busy parking lots, driving perpendicular to the parking aisles/lanes. It's dangerous. And when I honk at you when you dart out in front of me, you throw your hands up in the air, as if you don't know why I might be honking, or maybe you think that I'm a dick. This is stupid, and so are you.

I see this crap every time I go with the wife to the grocery store. You would be amazed at how many female Tahoe drivers on cellphones dont look and plow on through the parking lot. People are seriously fvcking retarded.

[FlashRedGLS1.8T]

5:30pm - Drop my 12 year old son off at the travel soccer team he's training with.
6:30pm - Watch some of practice, thinking to myself that my son's got some skills for all of the issues he has going on and the 3 years he took off from soccer. Go over to meet a guy that's working soccer sign ups with me at the chuch where they are having pre-school open house.
7:38pm - Having fun signing kids up for soccer. Phone rings and it's the coach of the travel team. This is about 25 minutes after practice ended. They were calling on another matter, not my son.
So I run over to the soccer field...no son to be found anywhere!
7:45pm - Freak out...call 10 people that say he was at the swings, swinging with a buddy. Frantically look all over the goddamn park (it's a really big freaking place).
7:55pm - Wife doesn't answer at the house...run home to see if he's there...no son.
8:10pm - Run back to the park. Half way to the park, I get a phone call, "Dad, I'm done with practice".
At this point it's 1 hour after practice ended. He saw his friend at the park because they were there with his older sister's softball team.

My hearts racing, I'm sweating...I want to kick the living sh!t out of him. I gave him specific directions about what to do after practice.

Anybody want an autistic 12 year old that's good at soccer, unbelievable at school and dreadful at communicating with or caring about humans?

It's been over 4 hours and I'm still on edge.

[zukiphile]

Anybody want an autistic 12 year old that's good at soccer, unbelievable at school and dreadful at communicating with or caring about humans?

Want to trade for a six year old I lost for an hour? Mrs let her play outside unsupervised. She wasn't in the yard. We called neighbors. Nothing. I drove around our block and the next. No one.

I told Mrs. Zuk that I am covering the block once on foot then we are calling the police. As I walked down the street and scanned back yards I spotted her at the other end of the block opening a front storm door and knocking on a front door.

What are you doing? Looking for someone to play with. Had you told anyone where you were going? Nope, why?

[Egilbe]

Nope, why?

I love the innocence of children

[zukiphile]

Dear Most Senior Partner,

I can't work when drenched in my own perspiration.

It's August, and the AC is set at 74. I regret that you find this uncomfortable, but walking around the office in a coat saying to everyone but me "It certainly is cold!" isn't subtle.

Vty

Zuk

[atomicalex]

Anybody want an autistic 12 year old that's good at soccer, unbelievable at school and dreadful at communicating with or caring about humans?

Woohoo!!! We have twins together!!!!

Holy FSM, I could have told you that story a hundred times already. I feel your pain like no one else here. Right down to the damn soccer practice.

[FlashRedGLS1.8T]

Want to trade for a six year old I lost for an hour? Mrs let her play outside unsupervised. She wasn't in the yard. We called neighbors. Nothing. I drove around our block and the next. No one.

I told Mrs. Zuk that I am covering the block once on foot then we are calling the police. As I walked down the street and scanned back yards I spotted her at the other end of the block opening a front storm door and knocking on a front door.

What are you doing? Looking for someone to play with. Had you told anyone where you were going? Nope, why?

I won't lie, the panic level would have been a higher if it were for a 6 year old instead of a 12 year old.

[winstonsmith84]

Want to trade for a six year old I lost for an hour?

My 8 year old needs a GPS tracker/shock collar. Kid just takes off. Found her at the library last weekend 4 blocks away with my skateboard and a couple of 13 year old boys who were teaching her tricks. I was really sort of impressed with her skills for not really having that much experience on a board. Every weekend sees me jumping in the car looking for her at least once. She never goes that far. Funny thing is she knows every adult and every animal in a 2 block radius by name. I think she is Dennis the Menace.

[Tornado2dr]

Dear Most Senior Partner,

I can't work when drenched in my own perspiration.

It's August, and the AC is set at 74. I regret that you find this uncomfortable, but walking around the office in a coat saying to everyone but me "It certainly is cold!" isn't subtle.

Vty

Zuk

Welcome to my office during the winter. I have close my door and open my window for ventilation. Three women with no idea on how a thermostat works and easy access to it is aggravating.

[intoflatlines]

Dear lazy woman in the Costco parking lot,

It blew my mind when I saw you unloading your groceries, and then lazily pushing your shopping cart over to the adjacent space and then driving away. The cart corral was literally 50 feet from your parking spot. I hope you take a crap in your stupid jean shorts on your drive home.

[TheGreenspanator]

There's talk of a Valley Girl remake?
Who will ever be as adorable as these two? I answer you - no one. Way to ****ing go Hollywood.

[nemo1ner]

Dear lazy woman in the Costco parking lot,

It blew my mind when I saw you unloading your groceries, and then lazily pushing your shopping cart over to the adjacent space and then driving away. The cart corral was literally 50 feet from your parking spot. I hope you take a crap in your stupid jean shorts on your drive home.

This drives me crazy. The supermarket that I go to is on a hill. These idiots won't take the time to walk 20ft to return the cart. Instead, they take up a spot and put the cart either sideways or half on the curb. The real lazy ones just let the damn thing roll downhill and let it end up smacking a parked car. Funny that this supermarket is frequented by some of the wealthiest people in NJ.

I guess money can't cover your fat, lazy white-trashness.

[intoflatlines]

This drives me crazy. The supermarket that I go to is on a hill. These idiots won't take the time to walk 20ft to return the cart. Instead, they take up a spot and put the cart either sideways or half on the curb. The real lazy ones just let the damn thing roll downhill and let it end up smacking a parked car. Funny that this supermarket is frequented by some of the wealthiest people in NJ.

I guess money can't cover your fat, lazy white-trashness.

Same here.. the Coscto I'm referring to is in a suburb with a healthy median income per family of $166,000. It is expected to see at least a few Ferraris, Bentleys, Maseratis, etc. parked at this Costco each time I visit. Chicago Bears/Bulls/Blackhawks/etc. players have been known to shop at this location too. So frustrating I guess it's even more obvious that having money does not equate to having common decency.

[Mr. Roloff]

How in the hell does a can of dip suddenly grow legs and leave the bar in my kitchen?

Just went MIA and I'm in no position to go to the store. **** nicotine.

[TheDarkEnergist]

F**K. I found the perfect apartment for an insanely low price, in a great neighborhood, get credit and references and background check approved, and come to find out every single floor has had bedbugs in the past year. F**K me man. This was going so well right up until finding this out.

[Hostile]

Dear lazy woman in the Costco parking lot,

It blew my mind when I saw you unloading your groceries, and then lazily pushing your shopping cart over to the adjacent space and then driving away. The cart corral was literally 50 feet from your parking spot. I hope you take a crap in your stupid jean shorts on your drive home.

My wife and I went to BJs a few weeks ago and parked a bit out of the way near no other cars. There were two shopping carts left in parking spaces near where we parked that I took the time to move to the corral.

When we came out there was a another freaking shopping cart right next to our car and still no other cars around.

I wish I could catch these inconsiderate, lazy *******s in the act so I could yell at them.

[Fritz27]

Why is it that nobody ever comes by when I'm working unless it's about 30 seconds after I rip smelly ass?

[RottyB5A2]

Welcome to my office during the winter. I have close my door and open my window for ventilation. Three women with no idea on how a thermostat works and easy access to it is aggravating.

I've often suffered with the women who insist on wearing short skirts and tank tops (skip the fancy names yall have for....tank tops) in the summer and then whine that the AC is freezingly too cold.

Then, you get the women who are cold 365 days a year. Even in the middle of a NY summer. You know the ones; they way about 50lbs soaking wet, eat an apple a day and constantly whine about being cold. Eat a fn burger and quit whining.

[foxtrot762]

One of my guys at work told another coworker he was going to beat my ass. The guy he told came to me and told me. I confronted him about it in the following fashion....

Me: You gonna beat my ass, Graham?
Him: Huh?
Me: You going to beat my ass?
Him: What are you talking about?
Me: Because that's what I heard...you going to beat my ass?
Him:....long pause....Yeah! It could happen!
Me: I don't think so
Him: Why? You going to go get your pea shooter? (pistol I keep in my car)
Me: No I don't need it

At this point I proceeded to rip him a new ******* about insubordination and kicking his ass out in the street. I told him he should start looking for a new job if he plans to continue with the ****ty attitude. He later apologized and told me he was just venting to the other guy about work to which I replied with another ass chewing about insubordination and how he's been bringing the morale of the whole team down for months. I told him his work quality was **** and his attitude was always out of line. He shut up after that and I didn't hear another word about it.

[IgorRGTI]

Working below people who are directors and executive directors at a MAJOR Fortune 25 company that have the IQ of a ding bat.

I could do their jobs 3 x better for half the money (would still be a big raise for me) if only I would get the chance. But, as with most places, you only get ahead if you know someone or are part of the good ole boys crew.

[FBMphil]

Same here.. the Coscto I'm referring to is in a suburb with a healthy median income per family of $166,000. It is expected to see at least a few Ferraris, Bentleys, Maseratis, etc. parked at this Costco each time I visit. Chicago Bears/Bulls/Blackhawks/etc. players have been known to shop at this location too. So frustrating I guess it's even more obvious that having money does not equate to having common decency.

I know EXACTLY what you mean because I'm pretty sure we shop at the same Costco (Mettawa?)

[turbinepowered]

Why is it that nobody ever comes by when I'm working unless it's about 30 seconds after I rip smelly ass?

Sorry, I have to

[NEP]

How in the hell does a can of dip suddenly grow legs and leave the bar in my kitchen?

Just went MIA and I'm in no position to go to the store. **** nicotine.

it doesnt walk, it rolls. and thanks ill add to that, where the f is that fresh tin I bought last night?

skoaless.

[hatetolovemydub]

it doesnt walk, it rolls. and thanks ill add to that, where the f is that fresh tin I bought last night?

skoaless.

7 months without and this post and every moment I'm at work make me want a dip still. *uck you nicotine.

/rant