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    Thread: The official homo thread

    1. Member MRVW00's Avatar
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      06-02-2011 10:58 PM #1
      In honor of Gay Pride month, I'm giving you breeders the opportunity to ask the elected homo of Offtopikstan anything gay, gay dating, or anything fabulous.

      Wanna know how to be a better wingman?
      What girls really ask their gay friends?
      How to get laid at gay bar....by a hot chick...with the proper lady parts

      Celebrate my people and push up a stool, this thread is gonna get gay!
      Tucker Max of the Gays and Demokratikally Elekted Minister of Slutty Gay Whoring and Muppet Sex of the People's Independent Republik of Offtopikstan
      RIP Cosmic TDI
      Quote Originally Posted by HideYoKids View Post
      Dann is More sassy than any man with facial hair should be. It's entertaining.

    2. Member vr6Cop's Avatar
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      06-02-2011 11:00 PM #2
      I'll go first.

      Why glory holes and men's restrooms in parks?
      Cheers, Adrian
      726 bottles of beer on the wall.

    3. Senior Member hrama803's Avatar
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      06-02-2011 11:01 PM #3
      what parks you go to?

    4. Member Bran4's Avatar
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      06-02-2011 11:07 PM #4
      Quote Originally Posted by hrama803 View Post
      what parks you go to?
      Hahahaha!!!
      New York Yankees//UConn Huskies//

    5. Member vr6Cop's Avatar
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      06-02-2011 11:10 PM #5
      Quote Originally Posted by hrama803 View Post
      what parks you go to?
      I heard of this guy on craigslist...
      Cheers, Adrian
      726 bottles of beer on the wall.

    6. Senior Member hrama803's Avatar
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      06-02-2011 11:12 PM #6
      I mean if thats what your into...

    7. Banned FBMphil's Avatar
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      06-02-2011 11:13 PM #7
      Felching: real, or real gross?

    8. Senior Member hrama803's Avatar
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      06-02-2011 11:15 PM #8
      just googled. IMO Gross

    9. Member Ninja Boot's Avatar
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      06-02-2011 11:17 PM #9
      Why do so many gay people talk with that lisp? Did they always have it? Of course, I know there are plenty, if not more gay people who don't. But I don't think I've ever seen/met a straight guy who talks with it.

    10. Senior Member hrama803's Avatar
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      06-02-2011 11:20 PM #10
      I have some pretty damn cool Gay people. One guy at work will keep everyone laughing. Makes the day go by quick.

    11. Member Yo Teach's Avatar
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      06-02-2011 11:21 PM #11
      What do girls ask their gay friends about the straight guy trying to hit on them (the girl)?
      2007 Mazda 3 s Grand Touring

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      06-02-2011 11:26 PM #12
      Quote Originally Posted by MRVW01 View Post
      push up a stool, this thread is gonna get gay!

    13. Banned Fritz27's Avatar
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      06-02-2011 11:29 PM #13
      Why do the saddest, most pathetic women cling on to you guys? I don't get it.

    14. Member Ninja Boot's Avatar
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      06-02-2011 11:29 PM #14
      ^^^ Oh i get it!

    15. Moderator Basscase's Avatar
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      06-02-2011 11:35 PM #15



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    16. Member nicoli's Avatar
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      06-02-2011 11:41 PM #16
      Quote Originally Posted by MRVW01 View Post

      Celebrate my people and push up a stool, this thread is gonna get gay!
      I see what you did there?

    17. Moderator Basscase's Avatar
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      06-02-2011 11:43 PM #17
      Quote Originally Posted by MRVW01 View Post
      push up a stool, this thread is gonna get gay!
      Quote Originally Posted by nicoli View Post
      I see what you did there?
      Oh shi....
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    18. Member MRVW00's Avatar
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      06-02-2011 11:45 PM #18
      Quote Originally Posted by vr6Cop View Post
      I'll go first.

      Why glory holes and men's restrooms in parks?
      So your wives don't catch you...

      Quote Originally Posted by FBMphil View Post
      Felching: real, or real gross?
      Never done it...so gross

      Quote Originally Posted by Ninja Boot View Post
      Why do so many gay people talk with that lisp? Did they always have it? Of course, I know there are plenty, if not more gay people who don't. But I don't think I've ever seen/met a straight guy who talks with it.
      It's only the over the top gays. The ones who act out and think they must let EVERYONE know they like the ****. Think of them as "Richard Simmons gays"

      I've met several guys who came out and were normal, within a few months, glitter-wearing, lisp talking Gaga listening homes. It's tragic.

      Quote Originally Posted by Yo Teach View Post
      What do girls ask their gay friends about the straight guy trying to hit on them (the girl)?
      Because they want to know how we think, and how to play us. Have no fear gents, Man Law still exist in Gayville and we won't rat you out. We're still on the same team...the Man Team!

      Quote Originally Posted by Fritz27 View Post
      Why do the saddest, most pathetic women cling on to you guys? I don't get it.
      Those are "f ag hags".
      I hate those c0ck blocking whores more than you do.

      They won't let you bang them, or let me bang their "Will". They all think they're "Grace"...it's so pathetic. Most of them are fat, bitchy, and like to think they can "change" the dude the cling to. I've learned that when I go to the bars, I make my straight buddies occupy them long enough to get interest or a number. I'll deal with her fat ass over breakfast when I can tell her I got what she always wanted but will never have.
      Last edited by MRVW00; 06-02-2011 at 11:53 PM.
      Tucker Max of the Gays and Demokratikally Elekted Minister of Slutty Gay Whoring and Muppet Sex of the People's Independent Republik of Offtopikstan
      RIP Cosmic TDI
      Quote Originally Posted by HideYoKids View Post
      Dann is More sassy than any man with facial hair should be. It's entertaining.

    19. 06-02-2011 11:47 PM #19
      What's the deal with lady gaga? Is she a he?

    20. Member muffintop's Avatar
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      06-02-2011 11:51 PM #20
      Why would women go to a gay bar looking for a guy?

      Does not compute.
      I'll be in my bunk.

    21. Moderator Basscase's Avatar
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      06-02-2011 11:53 PM #21
      Ok...I have a question...

      Why? Serious question!

      Now get don't me wrong, I have ABSOLUTELY nothing against gay guys. Everybody likes different things, some dudes like fat chicks, some dudes like skinny chicks, some dudes like....dudes.

      I could go on for days what I love about women. So what is it about guys? All I see is hairy, sweaty, farting, burping....dudes....





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      06-02-2011 11:55 PM #22
      Quote Originally Posted by Basscase View Post
      Ok...I have a question...

      Why? Serious question!

      Now get don't me wrong, I have ABSOLUTELY nothing against gay guys. Everybody likes different things, some dudes like fat chicks, some dudes like skinny chicks, some dudes like....dudes.

      I could go on for days what I love about women. So what is it about guys? All I see is hairy, sweaty, farting, burping....dudes....





      Its the other dudes. Not the hairy creepy ones like us

    23. Member nicoli's Avatar
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      06-02-2011 11:56 PM #23
      Quote Originally Posted by MRVW01 View Post
      It's only the over the top gays. The ones who act out and think they must let EVERYONE know they like the ****. Think of them as "Richard Simmons gays"

      I've met several guys who came out and were normal, within a few months, glitter-wearing, lisp talking Gaga listening homes. It's tragic.

      Yeah, I saw a couple guys last weekend at a bar who were very over the top. I was thinking "ok, we all get it, you guys are very very gay, now please tone it down before those rednecks over there see you." I mean seriously, I don't know many girls that act as feminine as the guys were effeminate. My gay male friends don't act like that. If I were gay, it would have pissed me off. Since I'm not, it was just annoying.

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      06-03-2011 12:01 AM #24
      Have any embarrassing/nearly died stories of asking out a straight guy?

    25. Member MRVW00's Avatar
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      06-03-2011 12:03 AM #25
      Quote Originally Posted by muffintop View Post
      Why would women go to a gay bar looking for a guy?
      Those are the sensitive types I hand on a silver platter to my straight buddies.
      They want "a nice sensitive open-minded guy that will raise kids to be open and accepting" My buddy plays the part, I play wingman, and often times a few weeks later I see them at the bar and have to make up a story how their still hurt from a recent breakup...

      Quote Originally Posted by Basscase View Post
      I could go on for days what I love about women. So what is it about guys? All I see is hairy, sweaty, farting, burping....dudes....
      It's like this.
      We act like chicks when we first start dating. No farting, dirty apartments, or anything unkempt.
      Once we've been dating a bit, all hell breaks loose and it turns into a frat house and dudes acting likes dudes.

      After a first date when a dude leaves in the morning, I immediately go back to be a slob and a whore. Just like you.


      Quote Originally Posted by Corrado_ryno View Post
      What's the deal with lady gaga? Is she a he?
      Jury is still out...and I hate her.
      Tucker Max of the Gays and Demokratikally Elekted Minister of Slutty Gay Whoring and Muppet Sex of the People's Independent Republik of Offtopikstan
      RIP Cosmic TDI
      Quote Originally Posted by HideYoKids View Post
      Dann is More sassy than any man with facial hair should be. It's entertaining.

    26. Senior Member Gaki's Avatar
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      06-03-2011 12:12 AM #26
      How to get laid at gay bar....by a hot chick...with the proper lady parts
      this interests me. I have a lot of lady friends (platonic and not so much) that love going to gay bars up here and, ****, it's actually pretty fun. However, I feel like I'm bringing sand to the beach. Enlighten me.
      Quote Originally Posted by bluerabbit0886 View Post
      A friend of mine is at law school at Gonzaga. He says Spokane is a real **** show. Florida of the Pacific Northwest...
      Quote Originally Posted by Señor Peligro View Post
      There was a separate petition for it. So no, I don't think Austin is the demographic in Texas looking to secede. But **** Austin anyways.

    27. Banned Fritz27's Avatar
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      06-03-2011 12:13 AM #27
      Quote Originally Posted by MRVW01 View Post
      Those are "f ag hags".
      I hate those c0ck blocking whores more than you do.

      They won't let you bang them, or let me bang their "Will". They all think they're "Grace"...it's so pathetic. Most of them are fat, bitchy, and like to think they can "change" the dude the cling to. I've learned that when I go to the bars, I make my straight buddies occupy them long enough to get interest or a number. I'll deal with her fat ass over breakfast when I can tell her I got what she always wanted but will never have.
      I know what they are, I'm just curious of the psychology. A friend of mine's ex is on Facebook and all she does is post updates about this very closeted kid and super-fat girl that she always hangs out with. I was curious if "*** hags" like hanging out with gay guys as "one of the girls" or as a male that will easily follow the logic of a woman. The whole thing seems patently absurd for me.

    28. Member MRVW00's Avatar
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      06-03-2011 12:28 AM #28
      Quote Originally Posted by nicoli View Post
      My gay male friends don't act like that. If I were gay, it would have pissed me off. Since I'm not, it was just annoying.
      Those are the 1% that the media loves, and I hate. Being the alpha male that happens to be gay, I want those fairys to fly away...

      Quote Originally Posted by silverzee View Post
      Have any embarrassing/nearly died stories of asking out a straight guy?
      Nope.
      I've struck out or misjudged but it usually ends up with me thinking a dude is gay and when he's not his friends get pissed I didn't hit on them and asking if I think they're cute... true story.

      Quote Originally Posted by Gaki View Post
      this interests me. I have a lot of lady friends (platonic and not so much) that love going to gay bars up here and, ****, it's actually pretty fun. However, I feel like I'm bringing sand to the beach. Enlighten me.
      If you're a fun, laid back, straight dude, the gays will respect that and be cool with you too. Chicks go to get away from the d-bags at straight bars, and the creeps who try to bang them. Imagine if you could go to a bar and dance with all the hot chicks you wanted, and not deal with any of the drama. That's what gay bars are to chicks. Gay bars don't have the testosterone and BS of straight bars. They all just get along. Gay bars are about two things. Booze and sex. We just don't get into fist fights if you hit on my dude. Will just invite you to a 3-way.

      Quote Originally Posted by Fritz27 View Post
      I know what they are, I'm just curious of the psychology. A friend of mine's ex is on Facebook and all she does is post updates about this very closeted kid and super-fat girl that she always hangs out with. I was curious if "*** hags" like hanging out with gay guys as "one of the girls" or as a male that will easily follow the logic of a woman. The whole thing seems patently absurd for me.
      The "Hags" like to be "one of the girls", when in actuality they want to bang the dude.
      It's the only way a good looking dude will pay attention to them. Gay dudes like the nurture factor of a woman, while not having to bang em. It's stupid. I don't have Hags. But the chicks I hangout with, are skinny, and uber hot. They go out with me once in awhile to have a drink and not deal with dudes hitting on them.
      Tucker Max of the Gays and Demokratikally Elekted Minister of Slutty Gay Whoring and Muppet Sex of the People's Independent Republik of Offtopikstan
      RIP Cosmic TDI
      Quote Originally Posted by HideYoKids View Post
      Dann is More sassy than any man with facial hair should be. It's entertaining.

    29. Member DzlDub's Avatar
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      06-03-2011 12:33 AM #29
      I know a girl (who is very cute) that I would love to get with ie. relation, she has a gay dude friend, my question is do girls view gay guys like another girl they can gossip with but with the added benefit of the gay guy telling her what men really think about?

      If I could be that gay guy but with the added benefit of using my penis with her I would be set.


      Edit: Do girls blab to gay guys about their ideal of the "perfect" guy?
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    30. Member MRVW00's Avatar
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      06-03-2011 01:30 AM #30
      Quote Originally Posted by DzlDub View Post
      I know a girl (who is very cute) that I would love to get with ie. relation, she has a gay dude friend, my question is do girls view gay guys like another girl they can gossip with but with the added benefit of the gay guy telling her what men really think about?

      If I could be that gay guy but with the added benefit of using my penis with her I would be set.


      Edit: Do girls blab to gay guys about their ideal of the "perfect" guy?
      Yes.

      Girls view gays as the sensitive guy/big brother that they can relate to because he has no interest in getting in their panties. I've broke a nose for my "little sister"
      (best friend since the second grade, dude put his hands on her, and gave her a nasty bruise)

      Girls want a man that can make them climax like "Old Faithful", cry during the English Patient, and feel safe at a moments notice.

      Women instantly bond with gay men. All the things they want, without something poking them in the back in the middle of the night...
      Tucker Max of the Gays and Demokratikally Elekted Minister of Slutty Gay Whoring and Muppet Sex of the People's Independent Republik of Offtopikstan
      RIP Cosmic TDI
      Quote Originally Posted by HideYoKids View Post
      Dann is More sassy than any man with facial hair should be. It's entertaining.

    31. Moderator Basscase's Avatar
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      06-03-2011 01:46 AM #31
      Ooohhh...i got another one! Locker rooms...its not fair! Gay guys get to go in the locker room of the "attractive" sex...why can't we?

      How do you feel going into public locker rooms? Like a wolf in sheeps clothing?
      Last edited by Basscase; 06-03-2011 at 01:48 AM.
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    32. Member azn's Avatar
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      06-03-2011 02:11 AM #32
      Quote Originally Posted by Basscase View Post
      Ooohhh...i got another one! Locker rooms...its not fair! Gay guys get to go in the locker room of the "attractive" sex...why can't we?

      How do you feel going into public locker rooms? Like a wolf in sheeps clothing?
      have you ever accidently gotten a hard on while admiring other guys in the locker room?
      Cupcake - Team My Little Pony

    33. Member Cubster's Avatar
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      06-03-2011 02:31 AM #33
      This has boggled me forever. In a hetero relationship there is a husband/wife but in a gay relationship since both sexes are the same how are the roles determined? Is there a "feminine" role? a dominant or "masculane" role? I use role for lack of a better term...no disrespect intended.

    34. Member MRVW00's Avatar
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      06-03-2011 02:35 AM #34
      Quote Originally Posted by Basscase View Post
      Ooohhh...i got another one! Locker rooms...its not fair! Gay guys get to go in the locker room of the "attractive" sex...why can't we?

      How do you feel going into public locker rooms? Like a wolf in sheeps clothing?
      Quote Originally Posted by azn View Post
      have you ever accidently gotten a hard on while admiring other guys in the locker room?


      Locker rooms are like window shopping at a car dealer. Some new Ferrari's that you want to test drive, but mostly old Buick's with flat tires and on their last leg....

      Let's just say, I can't "dry off" with hand towels when I'm in the locker room...
      Tucker Max of the Gays and Demokratikally Elekted Minister of Slutty Gay Whoring and Muppet Sex of the People's Independent Republik of Offtopikstan
      RIP Cosmic TDI
      Quote Originally Posted by HideYoKids View Post
      Dann is More sassy than any man with facial hair should be. It's entertaining.

    35. 06-03-2011 03:29 AM #35
      Quote Originally Posted by MRVW01 View Post
      If you're a fun, laid back, straight dude, the gays will respect that and be cool with you too. Chicks go to get away from the d-bags at straight bars, and the creeps who try to bang them. Imagine if you could go to a bar and dance with all the hot chicks you wanted, and not deal with any of the drama. That's what gay bars are to chicks. Gay bars don't have the testosterone and BS of straight bars. They all just get along. Gay bars are about two things. Booze and sex. We just don't get into fist fights if you hit on my dude. Will just invite you to a 3-way.

      Being a straight guy, that actually sounds pretty awesome. Well, except the 3 way part. But I'll just avoid hitting on any guys.

      *patiently waiting for one of his girlfriends to invite him out to the gay bar again.*

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