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    Thread: The official homo thread

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    1. Member MRVW00's Avatar
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      06-02-2011 11:58 PM #1
      In honor of Gay Pride month, I'm giving you breeders the opportunity to ask the elected homo of Offtopikstan anything gay, gay dating, or anything fabulous.

      Wanna know how to be a better wingman?
      What girls really ask their gay friends?
      How to get laid at gay bar....by a hot chick...with the proper lady parts

      Celebrate my people and push up a stool, this thread is gonna get gay!
      Tucker Max of the Gays and Demokratikally Elekted Minister of Slutty Gay Whoring and Muppet Sex of the People's Independent Republik of Offtopikstan
      RIP Cosmic TDI
      Quote Originally Posted by HideYoKids View Post
      Dann is More sassy than any man with facial hair should be. It's entertaining.

    2. Member vr6Cop's Avatar
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      06-03-2011 12:00 AM #2
      I'll go first.

      Why glory holes and men's restrooms in parks?
      Cheers, Adrian
      726 bottles of beer on the wall.

    3. Senior Member hrama803's Avatar
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      06-03-2011 12:01 AM #3
      what parks you go to?

    4. Member Bran4's Avatar
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      06-03-2011 12:07 AM #4
      Quote Originally Posted by hrama803 View Post
      what parks you go to?
      Hahahaha!!!
      New York Yankees//UConn Huskies//

    5. Member vr6Cop's Avatar
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      06-03-2011 12:10 AM #5
      Quote Originally Posted by hrama803 View Post
      what parks you go to?
      I heard of this guy on craigslist...
      Cheers, Adrian
      726 bottles of beer on the wall.

    6. Senior Member hrama803's Avatar
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      06-03-2011 12:12 AM #6
      I mean if thats what your into...

    7. Banned FBMphil's Avatar
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      06-03-2011 12:13 AM #7
      Felching: real, or real gross?

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      06-06-2011 03:47 PM #8
      Quote Originally Posted by hrama803 View Post
      what parks you go to?
      George Michael?

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      06-06-2011 04:26 PM #9
      Quote Originally Posted by hrama803 View Post
      what parks you go to?
      ha... funny story. 2 summers ago I trapped a raccoon that kept sleeping and ****ting under my deck (which made sitting on it in the summer not so nice). I took the f'er to a local state park to (illegally) drop him off. I go to one of the most remote picnic areas, which i know from cutting school back in the day and going there to smoke and drink. I see a guy down the lot just sitting in the car and think nothing of it once I determine he isn't a ranger. I take the trap out of my car, walk about 50 years down the trail and let mr. coon free. As I'm walking back the other dude stops me and asks if I want a BJ. Like, wtf dude ? I show up at a park with a freakin huge raccon in a trap and you assume I'm there for free BJs ?
      Expose your cracks and love will fill them.

    10. 06-06-2011 04:42 PM #10
      Quote Originally Posted by MAC View Post
      I show up at a park with a freakin huge raccon in a trap and you assume I'm there for free BJs ?
      Decoy raccoon.

      I don't get the public thing either. Why does one need that when we have a gazillion hookup sites and the internets?

    11. 06-06-2011 04:44 PM #11
      Quote Originally Posted by gti_matt View Post
      I don't get the public thing either. Why does one need that when we have a gazillion hookup sites and the internets?
      And risk getting caught and becoming a registered sex offender. Talk about not worth it...

    12. Senior Member hrama803's Avatar
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      06-06-2011 04:43 PM #12
      ^ I mean thats really why you were at the park.

      The coon was just a front.

    13. Member ArtieLange's Avatar
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      06-06-2011 05:02 PM #13
      Quote Originally Posted by MAC View Post
      ha... funny story. 2 summers ago I trapped a raccoon that kept sleeping and ****ting under my deck (which made sitting on it in the summer not so nice). I took the f'er to a local state park to (illegally) drop him off. I go to one of the most remote picnic areas, which i know from cutting school back in the day and going there to smoke and drink. I see a guy down the lot just sitting in the car and think nothing of it once I determine he isn't a ranger. I take the trap out of my car, walk about 50 years down the trail and let mr. coon free. As I'm walking back the other dude stops me and asks if I want a BJ. Like, wtf dude ? I show up at a park with a freakin huge raccon in a trap and you assume I'm there for free BJs ?
      Finish the story. You said yes, right?

    14. Senior Member hrama803's Avatar
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      06-06-2011 05:29 PM #14

    15. Senior Member Gaki's Avatar
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      06-03-2011 01:12 AM #15
      How to get laid at gay bar....by a hot chick...with the proper lady parts
      this interests me. I have a lot of lady friends (platonic and not so much) that love going to gay bars up here and, ****, it's actually pretty fun. However, I feel like I'm bringing sand to the beach. Enlighten me.
      Quote Originally Posted by bluerabbit0886 View Post
      A friend of mine is at law school at Gonzaga. He says Spokane is a real **** show. Florida of the Pacific Northwest...
      Quote Originally Posted by Señor Peligro View Post
      There was a separate petition for it. So no, I don't think Austin is the demographic in Texas looking to secede. But **** Austin anyways.

    16. Member bcarlo's Avatar
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      09-07-2011 11:19 PM #16
      Quote Originally Posted by vr6Cop View Post
      I'll go first.

      Why glory holes and men's restrooms in parks?
      Quote Originally Posted by hrama803 View Post
      what parks you go to?
      funniest sh!t on vortex
      I am just a guy with a skateboard and a halfpipe.

    17. Member pdoel's Avatar
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      09-08-2011 12:10 AM #17
      Speaking of glory holes, that reminds me of my all time favorite scene from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Dee, Dennis and Frank find a glory hole in the men's room. Frank and Dennis are trying to explain the allure of a glory hole to Dee, and how the anonymity is turn on.

      <Frank> This sounds hot. I'm going to go get some duct tape.

      <Dennis> Hold on there Frank, before you go sticking anything through that hole, you may want to consider, more often than not, on the other side of that wall, is a dude.

      <Frank> But you can't see through the wall, so how do you know it's not a girl? I can just picture it's a girl, and then it's alright.

      <Dennis> Well, some might find that method affective, but that's a dangerous game you're playing.

      <Frank> Suppose the other guy is picturing a girl also . . .

      <Dee> How's he going to do that with a d i c k in his mouth?

      Cyber Green. It's not a color. It's a way of life.

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    18. 05-13-2013 08:47 PM #18
      Celebrate my people and push up a stool, this thread is gonna get gay!



    19. Member pdoel's Avatar
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      05-14-2013 04:13 PM #19
      Quote Originally Posted by Ronal2dduff View Post
      Celebrate my people and push up a stool, this thread is gonna get gay!


      Don't you mean, "push in a stool"?
      Cyber Green. It's not a color. It's a way of life.

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    20. n00b dunk100's Avatar
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      05-14-2013 04:15 PM #20
      Quote Originally Posted by pdoel View Post
      Don't you mean, "push in a stool"?
      dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die tomorrow...
      Jeff
      llllll

    21. Member
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      06-03-2011 12:26 AM #21
      Quote Originally Posted by MRVW01 View Post
      push up a stool, this thread is gonna get gay!

    22. Banned Fritz27's Avatar
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      06-03-2011 12:29 AM #22
      Why do the saddest, most pathetic women cling on to you guys? I don't get it.

    23. Geriatric Member Turbio!'s Avatar
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      06-03-2011 11:18 AM #23
      Quote Originally Posted by Fritz27 View Post
      Why do the saddest, most pathetic women cling on to you guys? I don't get it.
      Inquiring minds want to know. Every gay dude I've ever known has to carry pepper spray to repel the *** hags. They ****in' hate that ****.
      IPRO Meat-Director and High Minister of Terror-Grilling

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    24. Member CosmicTDI's Avatar
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      06-03-2011 11:21 AM #24
      Quote Originally Posted by Turbiodiesel! View Post
      Inquiring minds want to know. Every gay dude I've ever known has to carry pepper spray to repel the *** hags. They ****in' hate that ****.
      I had one "*** haggish" heavyset friend, but she was a blast to be around. When she went to college, she discovered black guys like big girls and her *** hag days were over.
      Quote Originally Posted by KahviVW View Post
      Wow, TCLers are not a photogenic bunch
      Quote Originally Posted by TheDarkEnergist View Post
      My god...this thread is pure homosexual excellence.

    25. Member Spinnaker's Avatar
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      06-03-2011 11:25 AM #25
      Quote Originally Posted by Turbiodiesel! View Post
      Inquiring minds want to know. Every gay dude I've ever known has to carry pepper spray to repel the *** hags. They ****in' hate that ****.
      I asked a gay friend about this once. The more sensitive answer was 'they seek acceptance from gay guys because straight men who have no interest in sleeping with them dump on them'

      Real Question:

      Have you ever gotten into a spat with a lover that turned into a fist fight?

    26. Member 2.0T_Convert's Avatar
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      06-03-2011 11:42 AM #26
      Quote Originally Posted by Turbiodiesel! View Post
      Inquiring minds want to know. Every gay dude I've ever known has to carry pepper spray to repel the *** hags. They ****in' hate that ****.
      There are two kinds of women for g*ys.

      Hags - ugly, fat, or otherwise unattractive women who spend an entire life cycle revolving around gay men.

      Fruit flys- attractive women who enjoy the company of gay men due to emotional support, club buddy, etc...
      Sent from my tablet while sipping weak drinks over fancy brunch with a view

    27. Member Ninja Boot's Avatar
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      06-03-2011 12:29 AM #27
      ^^^ Oh i get it!

    28. Member MRVW00's Avatar
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      06-03-2011 12:45 AM #28
      Quote Originally Posted by vr6Cop View Post
      I'll go first.

      Why glory holes and men's restrooms in parks?
      So your wives don't catch you...

      Quote Originally Posted by FBMphil View Post
      Felching: real, or real gross?
      Never done it...so gross

      Quote Originally Posted by Ninja Boot View Post
      Why do so many gay people talk with that lisp? Did they always have it? Of course, I know there are plenty, if not more gay people who don't. But I don't think I've ever seen/met a straight guy who talks with it.
      It's only the over the top gays. The ones who act out and think they must let EVERYONE know they like the ****. Think of them as "Richard Simmons gays"

      I've met several guys who came out and were normal, within a few months, glitter-wearing, lisp talking Gaga listening homes. It's tragic.

      Quote Originally Posted by Yo Teach View Post
      What do girls ask their gay friends about the straight guy trying to hit on them (the girl)?
      Because they want to know how we think, and how to play us. Have no fear gents, Man Law still exist in Gayville and we won't rat you out. We're still on the same team...the Man Team!

      Quote Originally Posted by Fritz27 View Post
      Why do the saddest, most pathetic women cling on to you guys? I don't get it.
      Those are "f ag hags".
      I hate those c0ck blocking whores more than you do.

      They won't let you bang them, or let me bang their "Will". They all think they're "Grace"...it's so pathetic. Most of them are fat, bitchy, and like to think they can "change" the dude the cling to. I've learned that when I go to the bars, I make my straight buddies occupy them long enough to get interest or a number. I'll deal with her fat ass over breakfast when I can tell her I got what she always wanted but will never have.
      Last edited by MRVW00; 06-03-2011 at 12:53 AM.
      Tucker Max of the Gays and Demokratikally Elekted Minister of Slutty Gay Whoring and Muppet Sex of the People's Independent Republik of Offtopikstan
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      Quote Originally Posted by HideYoKids View Post
      Dann is More sassy than any man with facial hair should be. It's entertaining.

    29. Member nicoli's Avatar
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      06-03-2011 12:56 AM #29
      Quote Originally Posted by MRVW01 View Post
      It's only the over the top gays. The ones who act out and think they must let EVERYONE know they like the ****. Think of them as "Richard Simmons gays"

      I've met several guys who came out and were normal, within a few months, glitter-wearing, lisp talking Gaga listening homes. It's tragic.

      Yeah, I saw a couple guys last weekend at a bar who were very over the top. I was thinking "ok, we all get it, you guys are very very gay, now please tone it down before those rednecks over there see you." I mean seriously, I don't know many girls that act as feminine as the guys were effeminate. My gay male friends don't act like that. If I were gay, it would have pissed me off. Since I'm not, it was just annoying.

    30. Member lonely superstar's Avatar
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      07-07-2011 07:57 PM #30
      Quote Originally Posted by nicoli View Post
      Yeah, I saw a couple guys last weekend at a bar who were very over the top. I was thinking "ok, we all get it, you guys are very very gay, now please tone it down before those rednecks over there see you." I mean seriously, I don't know many girls that act as feminine as the guys were effeminate. My gay male friends don't act like that. If I were gay, it would have pissed me off. Since I'm not, it was just annoying.
      Seriously? No to be rude, but they are simply being themselves. Do you really think they put more effort into being feminine? Does not compute. I get what you are saying, but society has yet to let gay people be themselves so they "act" more "butch than they really are. And the other side to that coin is that not every gay dude is a fairy with their wings out. I'm a tobacco chewing, beer drinking, football watching guy who just happens to like guys. But I also dont hold other guys femininity against them, they are who they are.

    31. Banned Fritz27's Avatar
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      06-03-2011 01:13 AM #31
      Quote Originally Posted by MRVW01 View Post
      Those are "f ag hags".
      I hate those c0ck blocking whores more than you do.

      They won't let you bang them, or let me bang their "Will". They all think they're "Grace"...it's so pathetic. Most of them are fat, bitchy, and like to think they can "change" the dude the cling to. I've learned that when I go to the bars, I make my straight buddies occupy them long enough to get interest or a number. I'll deal with her fat ass over breakfast when I can tell her I got what she always wanted but will never have.
      I know what they are, I'm just curious of the psychology. A friend of mine's ex is on Facebook and all she does is post updates about this very closeted kid and super-fat girl that she always hangs out with. I was curious if "*** hags" like hanging out with gay guys as "one of the girls" or as a male that will easily follow the logic of a woman. The whole thing seems patently absurd for me.

    32. Member MRVW00's Avatar
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      06-03-2011 01:28 AM #32
      Quote Originally Posted by nicoli View Post
      My gay male friends don't act like that. If I were gay, it would have pissed me off. Since I'm not, it was just annoying.
      Those are the 1% that the media loves, and I hate. Being the alpha male that happens to be gay, I want those fairys to fly away...

      Quote Originally Posted by silverzee View Post
      Have any embarrassing/nearly died stories of asking out a straight guy?
      Nope.
      I've struck out or misjudged but it usually ends up with me thinking a dude is gay and when he's not his friends get pissed I didn't hit on them and asking if I think they're cute... true story.

      Quote Originally Posted by Gaki View Post
      this interests me. I have a lot of lady friends (platonic and not so much) that love going to gay bars up here and, ****, it's actually pretty fun. However, I feel like I'm bringing sand to the beach. Enlighten me.
      If you're a fun, laid back, straight dude, the gays will respect that and be cool with you too. Chicks go to get away from the d-bags at straight bars, and the creeps who try to bang them. Imagine if you could go to a bar and dance with all the hot chicks you wanted, and not deal with any of the drama. That's what gay bars are to chicks. Gay bars don't have the testosterone and BS of straight bars. They all just get along. Gay bars are about two things. Booze and sex. We just don't get into fist fights if you hit on my dude. Will just invite you to a 3-way.

      Quote Originally Posted by Fritz27 View Post
      I know what they are, I'm just curious of the psychology. A friend of mine's ex is on Facebook and all she does is post updates about this very closeted kid and super-fat girl that she always hangs out with. I was curious if "*** hags" like hanging out with gay guys as "one of the girls" or as a male that will easily follow the logic of a woman. The whole thing seems patently absurd for me.
      The "Hags" like to be "one of the girls", when in actuality they want to bang the dude.
      It's the only way a good looking dude will pay attention to them. Gay dudes like the nurture factor of a woman, while not having to bang em. It's stupid. I don't have Hags. But the chicks I hangout with, are skinny, and uber hot. They go out with me once in awhile to have a drink and not deal with dudes hitting on them.
      Tucker Max of the Gays and Demokratikally Elekted Minister of Slutty Gay Whoring and Muppet Sex of the People's Independent Republik of Offtopikstan
      RIP Cosmic TDI
      Quote Originally Posted by HideYoKids View Post
      Dann is More sassy than any man with facial hair should be. It's entertaining.

    33. Senior Member ClockworkChad's Avatar
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      06-03-2011 09:44 AM #33
      Quote Originally Posted by MRVW01 View Post
      I've met several guys who came out and were normal, within a few months, glitter-wearing, lisp talking Gaga listening homes. It's tragic.
      thats 99% of my experience with people coming out. one day fine, next day a queen.
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      06-03-2011 12:35 AM #34



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      07-30-2012 01:49 AM #35
      Quote Originally Posted by Basscase View Post



      This
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