The official homo thread

[Spinnaker]

I will say that I don't claim to be the butchest guy out there, but neither am I flamboyant. But I do look up to the flamboyant gays in a way. Their are times, locations, that I butch it up a bit, but these guys just let their flag fly. There's something to be said for their courage.

I have several queenish friends, they are hilarious

[winstonsmith84]

I have several queenish friends, they are hilarious

The guy that played piano at my wedding was an "out and about" sorta fellow. Scared the hell out of my grandma. It was great. He was an older guy ( 50's at the time) who just did not give a ****.

[simple]

All this talk deserves a

My ex-wife turned into the queen of the fruit flies (attractive *** hag) once we split up. I don't have facebook but my friends tell me all the time that some seriously incriminating photos show up on her site. Oh and she turned into a hipster as well.

I have no doubt that she wishes she could bang a dude. She told me she is a gay man stuck in a woman's body.

She was fun for a while, but oh my drama from both her and the queens she constantly hung out with. I wish she had more friends like MRVW01

[silverspeedbuggy]

ok, here are legitimate questions that have been recent local news hot topics. granted you prolly can't speak for your entire population, but here we go.

why, in the push for acceptance, do most of the messages come across as "you must LOVE us or DIE!"? i mean, the whole "we're here, we're queer, get used to it" thing just seems a bit militant. it would seem much easier to integrate into general population if your lifestyle weren't being crammed down our throats. at least thats what it appears. maybe you are as embarrassed by those members as we are of the ones who forcefully try to prevent you from being who you are.

While I wouldn't say we want you to "Love us or DIE." I would say we want you to acknowledge that we're your equal. The bulk of this country feels that becuase of how we're wired it makes us 'less than' others. That it is perfectly acceptable to allow us to be treated differently than heterosexuals. One way to do it is more militant, as I think you've rightfully labelled it. How do you look back on what Rosa Parks/MLK did? Was that militant? It worked, didn't it.

Not arguing here, or getting defensive, just having a conversation.

But this does lead perfectly into your follow-up question:

followup question. does the word "marriage" have any special meaning beyond religious connotations, or would identical legal rights be sufficient? we're not religious, and my wife and i had a J of P marry us. if we were only "civily unionized" or "legally paired" i'm sure we'd just call it married in casual conversation and go on our merry way. so why the push to call it marriage? is it to have a legal way force the church to perform a ceremony, or is a word really that important?

Many people talk about two concepts around marriage: legal binding and religious binding. I'd argue that's one more concept that no one is touching: romantic binding. The arguments for/against gay marriage have been centered around law or religion which are somewhat tangible concepts (Black and white). But there's also a romantic/emotional element to marriage that's harder to vocalize. We want to marry not only for the legal reasons or religious reasons (if your religion allows it, which I will not address here), but because we love the person we are with and want that emotional experience as well.

I think you've actually provided the answers to your questions; if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, acts like a duck, why call it a calculator? The word 'marriage' has a connotation around it that 'civil union' does not. As I stated above, we don't want something 'less than.' We want the same. As I stated in a previous response about who's the 'man or woman' in a couple and that we don't see ourselves in those roles, I think the same concept applies here. We don't see our relationship any differently than straight couples view their relationship. Therefore why should it be called anything else?

[Turbio!]

I have no doubt that she wishes she could bang a dude. She told me she is a gay man stuck in a woman's body.

Do you mean, she wishes she could bang a dude in the pitcher role?

I've heard other women say they're gay men stuck in a woman's body, but I never knew quite what they meant.

[MAC]

Serious question - Why are so many gay guys into meth ?

Stupid question - Do you think Bikerfox is bad for your rep ?

[backinthegame]

Why is the gay flag a rainbow? To me, that says "all colors" and would be more suited as a racial harmony flag. You guys flag should have a picture of a rocket about to crash into the moon or something on your flag.

[simple]

Do you mean, she wishes she could bang a dude in the pitcher role?

I've heard other women say they're gay men stuck in a woman's body, but I never knew quite what they meant.

We had lots of sex toys but I refused to let her buy a strap on. fock that.

[Turbio!]

We had lots of sex toys but I refused to let her buy a strap on. fock that.

What was her personality like? Very dude-ish?

[simple]

Serious question - Why are so many gay guys into meth ?

Stupid question - Do you think Bikerfox is bad for your rep ?

The meth thing is because it is cheap and easy to obtain. Simple as that. It spread like wildfire through the gay community.

[MAC]

I have several queenish friends, they are hilarious

It can be amusing when they're old. Annoying as **** when they're 25.

[TheGreenspanator]

Why is the gay flag a rainbow? To me, that says "all colors" and would be more suited as a racial harmony flag. You guys flag should have a picture of a rocket about to crash into the moon or something on your flag.

omfg

Seriously, this thread is awesome

[simple]

What was her personality like? Very dude-ish?

More like bi-polar. Tough girl but extremely sensitive. Most dudes sweated her until she opened her potty mouth and they were like damn you are dirty.

[MattV-Dub]

AWESOME THREAD!!

I'll try to answer some questions as well...


- Matty

[Jettavr666]

This has boggled me forever. In a hetero relationship there is a husband/wife but in a gay relationship since both sexes are the same how are the roles determined? Is there a "feminine" role? a dominant or "masculane" role? I use role for lack of a better term...no disrespect intended.

It depends on the people, just like all relationships roles change. In all honestly once you take out the sex part, the relationships really are not that much different.

If your talking about "bedroom roles" those will vary with the person. I had an ex that was 6' 200lbs ALL MUSCLE, literally he was a fitness model, very masculine in public, but in private he LOVED being more submissive.

[Basscase]

This has boggled me forever. In a hetero relationship there is a husband/wife but in a gay relationship since both sexes are the same how are the roles determined? Is there a "feminine" role? a dominant or "masculane" role? I use role for lack of a better term...no disrespect intended.

Gender roles are SOOOO 1950's. Serious, if a dude won't do the dishes, or cook dinner, or clean the house because it's "womans work", then he's the epitome of douche....

[silverspeedbuggy]

This is what I've NEVER understood...why is it said to be so prevalent in the gay community, more so than the straight community? I remember trying to figure it out when I was pretty young...like 13 or 14....is it because it's a smaller "pond" so to speak? So one or two bad fish infect the more of the pond?

In regards to the prevalence of HIV/AIDS in the gay community vs. straight community, I'd say it's two reasons:
1. Men are whores
2. Gay men in the past, did much of their loving on DL

Expounding on each:
1. Men are whores. Men want it much much more often than women. Men don't care as much about 'getting to know' the other person; there's not much in regards to 'feelings' when they want to hook up. Hook ups can happen FAST> Straight guys often have to "woo" a woman for hours/days/weeks to get her to put out. Not so much with dudes. ANd dudes will have sex as many times a day as they can, it possible. So gay guys have more sex, more often, and with more partners than straight men.
2. While the DL seems to apply to mostly black men now, pre-90s virtually all gay men were on the DL. If they wanted some lovin they snuck around; bathrooms, video booths, bathhouses, etc. They had to screw in clandestine places for fear of being beaten up/killed/harassed. This led to very risky behavior. Condom use was non-existant in the pre-90s as well.

If you really want to educate yourself, rent/stream the documentary "Gay Sex in the 70s." Very enlightening. It actually speaks to the social climate of the 60s (Free Love, Be Yourself, Freedom) that led to the Stonewall Riots in NYC in the 70s that led to gays not hiding who they were, to the WILD 70s, which then fed into the AIDS epidemic. There's no real sex in the movie, as it is a documentary, but there's images/scenes of men being affectionate to one another.

[Jettavr666]

ok, here are legitimate questions that have been recent local news hot topics. granted you prolly can't speak for your entire population, but here we go.

why, in the push for acceptance, do most of the messages come across as "you must LOVE us or DIE!"? i mean, the whole "we're here, we're queer, get used to it" thing just seems a bit militant. it would seem much easier to integrate into general population if your lifestyle weren't being crammed down our throats. at least thats what it appears. maybe you are as embarrassed by those members as we are of the ones who forcefully try to prevent you from being who you are.

Theere is multiple reasons for this. Initially it was because gay people were persecuted by authorites, (read up on stonewall) Now its honestly no different than any other group. I dont have anything to be ashamed of. My life is honestly very similar to 99% of the people on here. I get up go to work, gym, eat, hobbies, etc. The only difference is i sleep with a man ive been with for four years at night.

followup question. does the word "marriage" have any special meaning beyond religious connotations, or would identical legal rights be sufficient? we're not religious, and my wife and i had a J of P marry us. if we were only "civily unionized" or "legally paired" i'm sure we'd just call it married in casual conversation and go on our merry way. so why the push to call it marriage? is it to have a legal way force the church to perform a ceremony, or is a word really that important?

The main issue here is that separate but equal has never worked. Civil unions still lack rights that marriage has. And IMO what makes it really rediculous is people saying that gays marrying will kill the already bastardized idea of marriage. Get over it, even south africa has gay marriage

[firefighterjunkie]

I worked with a (beautiful, non flamboyant) gay guy at a clothing store about 5 years ago. We got into a very odd discussion about roles and preferences in gay relationships and he told me something that I guess I still don't know if it's true or not.

He told me that for gay men, you are basically a "top" or a "bottom" but usually not both...and that MOST gay men do not do both roles. I guess I never thought about it, but I guess it might make sense? What happens if you go out and meet a guy and you guys are the same "role" ? Do you continue the relationship and work around it or do you try to figure that out BEFORE you get involved?

Hope that isn't a horribly inappropriate question?

[leitmotif]

And IMO what makes it really rediculous is people saying that gays marrying will kill the already bastardized idea of marriage. Get over it, even south africa has gay marriage

I think the Mormons screwed this one up for everyone!

[Fritz27]

Alright, did you guys grow up feeling different and couldn't quite put your finger on it as a kid or did something else come into play when you figured out you were gay? I remember a kid when I was like 5-6 years old that was probably the same age and I always thought he was really weird (hindsight being 20/20 the kid was extremely fruity) and I wonder if some kids just know when they're like 3 years old.

Also, as a general question, why does it seem like some families have a relatively high amount of gay people while other families have none?

[Basscase]

And IMO what makes it really rediculous is people saying that gays marrying will kill the already bastardized idea of marriage. Get over it, even south africa has gay marriage

I think the Mormons screwed this one up for everyone!

If we let gay people get married, soon people will start marrying animals, then what!?!?? Think of the children!!!

[Jettavr666]

I've noticed this a few times: why are gay men so aggressive? I've hung out in a mixed group and was surprised how aggressive the guy dudes were towards me, even after telling them I have a serious girlfriend.


Also, and no offense intended, how much fear is there of STDs or HIV in the gay community?

Some really careful, some are not. Again I dont think this is much different than the straight community. I know tons of straight guys and girls who really are not worried about STD's. girls just dont want to get pregnant, and guys dont want to get them pregnant, but neither likes condoms, which is the only real STD protection. Id say many gay men fear STD's like straight men fear pregnancy. They don't want them at all, but mistakes are still continually made that could expose them.

[CosmicTDI]

Firefighterjunkie: There are a lot of guys that are versatile, especially when in a relationship. Some are strictly one or the other. My likes have changed all over the place since I first had sex with a guy.

Fritz: I am the only gay person in my immediate family. I do have 2 cousins that are out, but I've never really talked to them. Also, I always knew I was gay from the time I was very young, and I knew I could never tell anyone. I have a friend, girl, I've had since 2nd grade and years later she told me, "we didn't really know what gay was, but we knew you were it." I had a girlfriend for my last 1/2 of my senior year in HS, much to the shock of everyone. It confirmed to me that I was absolutely gay. Last girlfriend I ever had.

[Jettavr666]

I worked with a (beautiful, non flamboyant) gay guy at a clothing store about 5 years ago. We got into a very odd discussion about roles and preferences in gay relationships and he told me something that I guess I still don't know if it's true or not.

He told me that for gay men, you are basically a "top" or a "bottom" but usually not both...and that MOST gay men do not do both roles. I guess I never thought about it, but I guess it might make sense? What happens if you go out and meet a guy and you guys are the same "role" ? Do you continue the relationship and work around it or do you try to figure that out BEFORE you get involved?

Hope that isn't a horribly inappropriate question?

Id say this is both true and false, yes some are always in one role, maybe 50%, but id say the other 50% is willing to switch it up.

As far as figuring it out, its easy, you just kinda say it, or just act interested in doing the work, or being done

[Der Schaltwerks]

What percentage of gay guys are "power bottoms" as opposed to standard bottoms ?

[CosmicTDI]

What percentage of gay guys are "power bottoms" as opposed to standard bottoms ?

You think we keep statistics? I don't even know what the difference would be? If you like it in the ass, you do. I don't know how someone would like it more. IMO, you either do or you don't.

[MattV-Dub]

While I wouldn't say we want you to "Love us or DIE." I would say we want you to acknowledge that we're your equal. The bulk of this country feels that becuase of how we're wired it makes us 'less than' others. That it is perfectly acceptable to allow us to be treated differently than heterosexuals. One way to do it is more militant, as I think you've rightfully labelled it. How do you look back on what Rosa Parks/MLK did? Was that militant? It worked, didn't it.

Not arguing here, or getting defensive, just having a conversation.

But this does lead perfectly into your follow-up question:


Many people talk about two concepts around marriage: legal binding and religious binding. I'd argue that's one more concept that no one is touching: romantic binding. The arguments for/against gay marriage have been centered around law or religion which are somewhat tangible concepts (Black and white). But there's also a romantic/emotional element to marriage that's harder to vocalize. We want to marry not only for the legal reasons or religious reasons (if your religion allows it, which I will not address here), but because we love the person we are with and want that emotional experience as well.

I think you've actually provided the answers to your questions; if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, acts like a duck, why call it a calculator? The word 'marriage' has a connotation around it that 'civil union' does not. As I stated above, we don't want something 'less than.' We want the same. As I stated in a previous response about who's the 'man or woman' in a couple and that we don't see ourselves in those roles, I think the same concept applies here. [B]We don't see our relationship any differently than straight couples view their relationship. Therefore why should it be called anything else?[B]

I just wanted to quote silverspeedbuggy's response because it's pretty perfect! I've been with my Partner for almost 10 years (we're already "Domestic Partners" in NJ... they've since 'upgraded' this to "Civil Unions", but we filed almost 5 years ago) and, while I'm not terribly interested in having a big grandiose wedding... I don't see why we shouldn't be given the same rights, priviledges and responsibilities any straight couple can get... as easily as hitting a drive-thru wedding chapel in Vegas.

That being said... let's not lose sight of the point of this thread. The Gay Marriage question has been asked and answered ... next?

[MRVW00]

I got cruised once by a good looking gay dude, does that mean I’m hot, or do gay men go slumming?

Post pics and I'll tell you.

When I went to bear week why did I get so many free drinks?

Either you need a shave or the dudes liked your "look"

ok, here are legitimate questions that have been recent local news hot topics. granted you prolly can't speak for your entire population, but here we go.

why, in the push for acceptance, do most of the messages come across as "you must LOVE us or DIE!"? i mean, the whole "we're here, we're queer, get used to it" thing just seems a bit militant. it would seem much easier to integrate into general population if your lifestyle weren't being crammed down our throats. at least thats what it appears. maybe you are as embarrassed by those members as we are of the ones who forcefully try to prevent you from being who you are.


followup question. does the word "marriage" have any special meaning beyond religious connotations, or would identical legal rights be sufficient? we're not religious, and my wife and i had a J of P marry us. if we were only "civily unionized" or "legally paired" i'm sure we'd just call it married in casual conversation and go on our merry way. so why the push to call it marriage? is it to have a legal way force the church to perform a ceremony, or is a word really that important?

Not to take this away from MRVWO1, but can I throw in my $.02 on this one?

Please by all means...pitch in!

I just want to say this thread rules! I am loving it. (no homo) Very interesting questions and answers. I do have to ask though, don't any of you guys have real life gay friends you can ask these questions???

Thanks! You should sticky it for the month of June, in honor of Pride month
I think they do, but it's EASIER to ask the Tucker Max of gays online. I'm really hard to offend.

when you take a dump, do you think...

Why are some so flamboyant? Is there hatred among the flamboyant factions for the ones who are like Will from Will and Grace? And why are some lesbians outright scary-looking? Can't they put an article in the newsletter that it's okay to look like a woman AND still be a lesbian? One got offended when I called her "sir" but I honestly couldn't tell at the time that it was a penisless human

Those are the same types of people that SCREAM acceptance and look at me. My friends and I do hate them....it's ridiculous. If you ever saw me at a car show, you'd never say "that's dudes a gay!" Lesbians scare the sh1t outta me too...they try to act and dress masculine...over the top. It's foul. BUT when you see a feminine Lesbian, they look amazing!

How often do you bang "straight" dudes that think it's not gay if you're the pitcher?

I have a few regular "straight" dudes that I bang.
Some say it's not gay if you don't kiss, some say it's not gay if you don't give a BJ, others say it's not gay if you pitch. Bottom line, if your touching a dude and it's not a handshake, it's gay!

I've noticed this a few times: why are gay men so aggressive? I've hung out in a mixed group and was surprised how aggressive the guy dudes were towards me, even after telling them I have a serious girlfriend.


Also, and no offense intended, how much fear is there of STDs or HIV in the gay community?

Maybe your wearing a better blouse than he was!
It had to be a alpha male thing..

LOTS OF FEAR!
My Grandma always said "Wrap it before you tap it!"...and I said, "Grandma put the bourbon down, we're in church!"

Have you ever gotten into a spat with a lover that turned into a fist fight?

YES.
I won.

All this talk deserves a

I wish she had more friends like MRVW01

Thanks budddy!

Serious question - Why are so many gay guys into meth ?
Stupid question - Do you think Bikerfox is bad for your rep ?

Meth doesn't seem to be a problem around here.
Bikerfox is awfull...

Why is the gay flag a rainbow? To me, that says "all colors" and would be more suited as a racial harmony flag. You guys flag should have a picture of a rocket about to crash into the moon or something on your flag.

I wasn't at the signing of the Declaration of Independence of Gays, so I'm not sure.

It depends on the people, just like all relationships roles change. In all honestly once you take out the sex part, the relationships really are not that much different.

If your talking about "bedroom roles" those will vary with the person. I had an ex that was 6' 200lbs ALL MUSCLE, literally he was a fitness model, very masculine in public, but in private he LOVED being more submissive.

I disagree.
I've always been the masculine man in the relationships, and my BF's have been more submissive. But then again, that's why I attract I guess.

BTW, send me his number...

.... you are basically a "top" or a "bottom" but usually not both...and that MOST gay men do not do both roles. I guess I never thought about it, but I guess it might make sense? What happens if you go out and meet a guy and you guys are the same "role" ? Do you continue the relationship and work around it or do you try to figure that out BEFORE you get involved?

Hope that isn't a horribly inappropriate question?

I'm personally am 99% Top, and 1% Bottom. It's like Christmas for the dude I'm dating...
If we're both the same role, one has to sacrifice. Since I'm Alpha Gay, they sacrifice.

GOOD QUESTION.

Alright, did you guys grow up feeling different and couldn't quite put your finger on it as a kid or did something else come into play when you figured out you were gay? I remember a kid when I was like 5-6 years old that was probably the same age and I always thought he was really weird (hindsight being 20/20 the kid was extremely fruity) and I wonder if some kids just know when they're like 3 years old.

Also, as a general question, why does it seem like some families have a relatively high amount of gay people while other families have none?

Yeah, in hindsight, I always knew I was gay.
I intentionally blocked it out, and denied it because it's not what your supposed to do. Your supposed to go to college, get married, buy a house in the suburbs, have kids, etc....Finally when I couldn't take it anymore, I "came out" at 25....and banged EVERYTHING I COULD GET MY GRUBBY PAWS ON!....then I became the Tucker Max of The Gays

[CosmicTDI]

I am pro-gay marriage, although I have zero desire to do so. I want it to be my decision, not somebody else's. People want to insert their religious viewpoints into something that should be a strictly civil matter. Like how you have to go to city hall to get your marriage certificate, whether you are married in a church doesn't matter to them. And domestic partnerships aren't the same. It's been proven in court.

[Der Schaltwerks]

I've observed gay guys become verbally and physically repulsed by the slightest mention of vagina. This is something I use as a barometer of gayness.

"Blech...tuna fish" with a yucky expression on their face seems to be a common response. When I inform them that most vaginas don't smell like a rotten can of fish they don't seem to believe me and look at me like this:

[azn]

So what about this whole deal with, for lack of a better word, gaydar? When you look at a guy is there just something about his mannerisms or what have you that you pick up on and can tell that they're gay? I have a couple of friends (straight and gay) that say they can tell when someone is gay, but they cant describe exactly what it is that makes them think that, they just know. I honestly have no clue how serious they are, Im pretty much the most oblivious person ever to realising my acquaintences are gay.
I mean, for straight people, you pretty much assume that the person youre into is straight as well, but what about when youre gay? How often does a guy you think is gay turn out to be legitimately straight, or are you pretty good at not asking out straight people?

[CosmicTDI]

I've observed gay guys become verbally and physically repulsed by the slightest mention of vagina. This is something I use as a barometer of gayness.

"Blech...tuna fish" with a yucky expression on their face seems to be a common response. When I inform them that most vaginas don't smell like a rotten can of fish they don't seem to believe me and look at me like this:

Actually going down on her was the only thing I liked to do with my one and only girlfriend. I was damn good at it, if her response was any indication.

[Jettavr666]

What percentage of gay guys are "power bottoms" as opposed to standard bottoms ?

LMAO best question yet. unfortunatly at this point I dont think there is any definitive study on the number of power bottoms out there.

[Der Schaltwerks]

You think we keep statistics? I don't even know what the difference would be? If you like it in the ass, you do. I don't know how someone would like it more. IMO, you either do or you don't.

If you don't keep stats, you should. I was under the impression that a power bottom was a dude who could take a massive shlong vigorously. Not true?