I got cruised once by a good looking gay dude, does that mean I’m hot, or do gay men go slumming?
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ok, here are legitimate questions that have been recent local news hot topics. granted you prolly can't speak for your entire population, but here we go.
why, in the push for acceptance, do most of the messages come across as "you must LOVE us or DIE!"? i mean, the whole "we're here, we're queer, get used to it" thing just seems a bit militant. it would seem much easier to integrate into general population if your lifestyle weren't being crammed down our throats. at least thats what it appears. maybe you are as embarrassed by those members as we are of the ones who forcefully try to prevent you from being who you are.
followup question. does the word "marriage" have any special meaning beyond religious connotations, or would identical legal rights be sufficient? we're not religious, and my wife and i had a J of P marry us. if we were only "civily unionized" or "legally paired" i'm sure we'd just call it married in casual conversation and go on our merry way. so why the push to call it marriage? is it to have a legal way force the church to perform a ceremony, or is a word really that important?
I appreciate your respect with this, and that you've emphasized roles, but be very careful if you ever ask this to a gay you barely know. I've been asked "Who's the man and who's the woman?" The question gets me somewhat worked up when I can't tell if they are asking about household-ish relationships or about....bedroom relationships. I don't ask them the first time I meet them who does what in their bedroom, so don't ask me, ok? Thanks.
Now, back to your question. Did your parents abide by strict society roles? Did your mom ever, say, mow the lawn? Or did your dad ever cook dinner? Did mom pay the bills? Did dad do laundry? These lines are blurred in straight society now. I think in modern hetero relationships the woman wants to be viewed as equal to the men and the man still wants to be viewed as the dominant provider. Gay relationships, in my opinion, are two equals. I know my partner and I don't view each other as the 'man' or the 'woman' in the relationship. We view each other as equals. I fully admit I have a hard time with this question, because we don't feel the need to slot into a specific 'role.'
Some weeks I do the laundry, some weeks he does. Some weeks I take out the garbage, sometimes he does. I can tell you he ALWAYS pays the bills and I ALWAYS mow the lawn/yardwork. I take care of our cars, he handles our business stuff.
My point is, we don't view ourselves as in 'female' or 'male' roles. You don't need to either.
I have a friend currently in the army that goes to a local gay bar b/c they offer military guys really cheap drinks. He's picked up a lot of women when he goes. I'm surprised that him and a lot of his fellow soldiers go there all of the time and are fine with it.
Last edited by CosmicTDI; 06-03-2011 at 09:52 AM.
Why are some so flamboyant? Is there hatred among the flamboyant factions for the ones who are like Will from Will and Grace? And why are some lesbians outright scary-looking? Can't they put an article in the newsletter that it's okay to look like a woman AND still be a lesbian? One got offended when I called her "sir" but I honestly couldn't tell at the time that it was a penisless human
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Originally Posted by .skully.
I'd say it's more okay to a straight dude if he's the top (pitcher). I don't really go there these days, but I certainly did in college (hello, frat bros) and when I lived in NYC. Something about NYC made straight guys more open to doing things with other guys than any place I've ever lived. I certainly had my fair share of fun.
Last edited by Turbio!; 06-03-2011 at 10:24 AM.
I've noticed this a few times: why are gay men so aggressive? I've hung out in a mixed group and was surprised how aggressive the guy dudes were towards me, even after telling them I have a serious girlfriend.
Also, and no offense intended, how much fear is there of STDs or HIV in the gay community?
Have you ever gotten into a spat with a lover that turned into a fist fight?
2. Nothing close to what it was (for HIV at least) than it was when I first went to college. People just need to be educated about the risks and follow suit. I don't know that it is (or should be) any different than if you're straight. STDs and HIV don't discriminate based on sexuality.
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They're flamboyant because that's their personality type and they are comfortable with themselves. Yeah, they might be more 'femme' than others, but this isn't limited to gays. What about white guys that identify more with another race? What about rich suburanites who dress in 'thug' clothing?
A bigger question is, in my opinion, did you laugh at Jack (I think you mean Jack on Will and Grace, he was the flamboyant one)? While I may have some issues with my more flamboyant brothers, I still love having them around. In small amounts that is. I mean, have you ever witnessed an argument between a queen and just about anyone else? Those boys are VICIOUS! And fricking hilarious! While I'm not implying they should be laughed at, or just around for comedic effect, they add a certain......something...to our lives.
I will say that I don't claim to be the butchest guy out there, but neither am I flamboyant. But I do look up to the flamboyant gays in a way. Their are times, locations, that I butch it up a bit, but these guys just let their flag fly. There's something to be said for their courage.
Last edited by Basscase; 06-03-2011 at 11:28 AM.
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