Username or Email Address
Do you already have an account?
Forgot your password?
  • Log in or Sign up

    VWVortex


    Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
    Results 1 to 35 of 52

    Thread: Woman Driver Jokes

    1. Member Roketdriver's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jan 23rd, 2009
      Location
      Flint, MI
      Posts
      5,121
      Vehicles
      2001 Passat Wagon
      08-09-2011 07:49 PM #1
      Still funny.















      GOOGLE IS YOUR FRIEND.
      I like grocery getters.

    2. Banned Chilledman's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jul 14th, 2010
      Location
      USA
      Posts
      3,637
      08-09-2011 08:15 PM #2

    3. 08-09-2011 08:19 PM #3
      Woman driver's jokes....

      How is there enough room in the kitchen for a car?

    4. Member Mk1Racer's Avatar
      Join Date
      Apr 16th, 1999
      Location
      NJ
      Posts
      19,867
      Vehicles
      '01 B5.5 wagon, '81 Scirocco, '04 FXDWG and too many A1,2, & 3 cars to remember. '93 Miata for S&G
      08-09-2011 08:28 PM #4
      Quote Originally Posted by tdogg74 View Post
      Woman driver's jokes....

      How is there enough room in the kitchen for a car?



      The follow up to that is:

      How can you make a sandwich if you're driving?
      Quote Originally Posted by MRVW00
      2 dudes on a bike is too gay for even me

    5. Member Roketdriver's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jan 23rd, 2009
      Location
      Flint, MI
      Posts
      5,121
      Vehicles
      2001 Passat Wagon
      08-09-2011 09:10 PM #5
      Quote Originally Posted by tdogg74 View Post
      Woman driver's jokes....
      Moderator of the year

      Last edited by Roketdriver; 08-09-2011 at 09:19 PM.
      GOOGLE IS YOUR FRIEND.
      I like grocery getters.

    6. Member backinthegame's Avatar
      Join Date
      Dec 13th, 2004
      Location
      Virginia Beach, VA
      Posts
      4,432
      Vehicles
      89 Cabriolet, 89 Jetta 03 A6 Avant, 08 Tribeca, 2012 powerwheels Jeep
      08-09-2011 10:05 PM #6
      Sent from my Droid using an escape pod to Tattoine.


      Quote Originally Posted by mad8vskillz View Post
      they're trying to skip out on their contracts via rapture. not very christian of them

    7. 08-09-2011 10:11 PM #7
      Internet artifacts:





      edit: removed the first since it's a repost of the post above

    8. Member
      Join Date
      Feb 11th, 2009
      Location
      Lewiston, Maine
      Posts
      4,591
      Vehicles
      2001 Wolfsburg Jetta
      08-09-2011 10:17 PM #8
      Quote Originally Posted by SpiffyGTI View Post


      LOL, I know a girl who did the exact same thing! She couldn't understand why her car shimmied like crazy driving down the road Of course, she had an excuse since she was leaving the bar at 4 in the afternoon
      Quote Originally Posted by winstonsmith84 View Post
      Tax? I don't mind paying state sales tax. Every time a see a pothole, a school that is falling down or a canceled essential state program, I remind myself why.
      Quote Originally Posted by Tornado2dr View Post
      535 members of congress plus 1 pres screwing us all the time...that's dirty pirate hooker level gang rape.

    9. Member Roketdriver's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jan 23rd, 2009
      Location
      Flint, MI
      Posts
      5,121
      Vehicles
      2001 Passat Wagon
      08-09-2011 10:31 PM #9
      Quote Originally Posted by SpiffyGTI View Post
      Internet artifacts:
      Just last week I saw some girl put the gas filler nozzle into her car, walk into the Quickie Mart, come out with a Diet Coke, get into her car and start to drive away.

      With the filler nozzle still in the car.
      GOOGLE IS YOUR FRIEND.
      I like grocery getters.

    10. 08-09-2011 10:45 PM #10
      Quote Originally Posted by Roketdriver View Post
      Just last week I saw some girl put the gas filler nozzle into her car, walk into the Quickie Mart, come out with a Diet Coke, get into her car and start to drive away.

      With the filler nozzle still in the car.
      I only wish I could witness that in the wild.

    11. Member Marshmallow Man's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jun 16th, 2004
      Location
      Chicago-The Low End
      Posts
      9,980
      Vehicles
      Work Car
      08-10-2011 11:19 AM #11
      Ouch....

      Old adage

      Women drivers, no survivors..


    12. Member stevegolf's Avatar
      Join Date
      Aug 12th, 2003
      Location
      Detroit
      Posts
      3,343
      Vehicles
      90 turbo miata - 87 325is - 13 Mustang GT
      08-10-2011 11:40 AM #13
      Quote Originally Posted by Roketdriver View Post
      Just last week I saw some girl put the gas filler nozzle into her car, walk into the Quickie Mart, come out with a Diet Coke, get into her car and start to drive away.

      With the filler nozzle still in the car.
      My ex-girlfriend did that. She also would keep a 5 ft maximum distance behind the car in front of her regardless of the road conditions or visibility. Scared the crap out of me in the winter.
      Current Stable: 13' Mustang GT, 87 325is, 90 Miata
      Gone but not Forgotten: 88 M5, 69 MG, 98 Golf, 07 GTI, 10 CC

      DIYautoFTW Your online build and DIY resource

    13. Member under the radar's Avatar
      Join Date
      Mar 5th, 2007
      Location
      NOR-CAL COASTSIDE
      Posts
      10,224
      Vehicles
      disco, new wave, rave era german iron...and a Japanese V8 with a tailgate
      03-30-2012 02:30 AM #14
      Quote Originally Posted by teresaswan View Post
      Its too funny,I like it so much.
      good night sms
      spam
      Quote Originally Posted by spoon! View Post
      I'll go if Paul goes.
      Rod Blagojevich - Team My Little Pony

    14. Member DzlDub's Avatar
      Join Date
      Aug 15th, 2007
      Location
      Edmonton
      Posts
      1,572
      Vehicles
      1998 Jetta TDI, 2002 Protege5
      03-30-2012 02:56 AM #15
      Good night, sweet prince.
      Quote Originally Posted by AmericanThanks View Post
      Vwvortex is the biggest car forum so I should get atleast 100 enquiries from here. Cars means money.

    15. Member backinthegame's Avatar
      Join Date
      Dec 13th, 2004
      Location
      Virginia Beach, VA
      Posts
      4,432
      Vehicles
      89 Cabriolet, 89 Jetta 03 A6 Avant, 08 Tribeca, 2012 powerwheels Jeep
      03-30-2012 06:14 AM #16
      Wow, spammers digging up old threads?
      Sent from my Droid using an escape pod to Tattoine.


      Quote Originally Posted by mad8vskillz View Post
      they're trying to skip out on their contracts via rapture. not very christian of them

    16. Member StayGold11's Avatar
      Join Date
      Mar 22nd, 2007
      Location
      Columbus, OhiO
      Posts
      3,628
      Vehicles
      VW
      03-30-2012 08:43 AM #17
      so my car broke down & I was 20 minutes out of town, had to have the car towed somewhere...first person that answered my call was this mechanic that is an acquaintance of a friend. he turned out to be a totally shady hack, but anyway, when I picked up my car there was a HUGE dent on the lip of my wheel where a curb chewed it up, and the mechanic/hack proceeded to tell me what a blast my car is to drive(!!!!) I KNOW it wasn't me b/c I'd just washed my car, plus you feel/hear it when you curb a wheel that bad. when I brought it to the mechanics attention he laughed and said "women drivers"

    17. Geriatric Member ATL_Av8r's Avatar
      Join Date
      Oct 17th, 2002
      Location
      Gapiana
      Posts
      40,305
      03-30-2012 09:30 AM #18
      Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      ..
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      Because she was a woman.
      MemeGate 2012 - First Responder, post #2

      Quote Originally Posted by .skully.
      Mike, quote me in your signature

    18. 03-30-2012 09:48 AM #19
      Quote Originally Posted by Roketdriver View Post
      Just last week I saw some girl put the gas filler nozzle into her car, walk into the Quickie Mart, come out with a Diet Coke, get into her car and start to drive away.

      With the filler nozzle still in the car.

      Makes one heck of a noise don't it? lol Seen it about 5 times in person now.

    19. Member 22AudiQ's Avatar
      Join Date
      Sep 13th, 2008
      Location
      New York, NY
      Posts
      1,998
      Vehicles
      MTA
      03-30-2012 09:52 AM #20
      My girlfriend is from South Jersey.

      She is, hands down, the best and yet most terrifying female driver I've ever been in a car with. 80MPH at all times, aggressive acceleration, tail gating and weaving.

      But man, we get everywhere so quickly.

    20. 03-30-2012 09:53 AM #21
      Quote Originally Posted by Roketdriver View Post
      Just last week I saw some girl put the gas filler nozzle into her car, walk into the Quickie Mart, come out with a Diet Coke, get into her car and start to drive away.

      With the filler nozzle still in the car.

      Actually got a call once where a lady did not pull away far enough to break it.
      Dispatch: We have an emergency call for you, how quick can you get to McKeesport?
      Dispatch: A lady pulled out with the nozzle in her car, it is stuck in the car.
      Me: lol what?
      Me: 1/2 hour max.
      Dispatch: THERE IS A CHILD IN THE CAR FIRE DEPT IS ON THE WAY they will meet you there.
      Me: Did she back up before she tried to take it out?
      Dispatch: Nevermind, they just called back. She backed up.

    21. Geriatric Member ATL_Av8r's Avatar
      Join Date
      Oct 17th, 2002
      Location
      Gapiana
      Posts
      40,305
      03-30-2012 09:55 AM #22
      Quote Originally Posted by GimmieA40 View Post
      Actually got a call once where a lady did not pull away far enough to break it.
      Dispatch: We have an emergency call for you, how quick can you get to McKeesport?
      Dispatch: A lady pulled out with the nozzle in her car, it is stuck in the car.
      Me: lol what?
      Me: 1/2 hour max.
      Dispatch: THERE IS A CHILD IN THE CAR FIRE DEPT IS ON THE WAY they will meet you there.
      Me: Did she back up before she tried to take it out?
      Dispatch: Nevermind, they just called back. She backed up.
      MemeGate 2012 - First Responder, post #2

      Quote Originally Posted by .skully.
      Mike, quote me in your signature

    22. Banned TheGreenspanator's Avatar
      Join Date
      Sep 20th, 2005
      Location
      Downingtown, PA
      Posts
      5,160
      Vehicles
      2 57 Bel Airs 65 Corvair 66 SS396 68 Dart 73 Vette 86 Golf 97 GTI 99/04 Neons & a truck
      03-30-2012 09:57 AM #23



      Also, the only person I've ever seen drive away with gas filler still in the car was a middle-aged man in a brand new 5 series

    23. 03-30-2012 10:36 AM #24
      Quote Originally Posted by Roketdriver View Post
      Just last week I saw some girl put the gas filler nozzle into her car, walk into the Quickie Mart, come out with a Diet Coke, get into her car and start to drive away.

      With the filler nozzle still in the car.
      I've witnessed this before, and even worse it was a female government agent. Just backing up all sorts of stereotypes!

    24. Geriatric Member ATL_Av8r's Avatar
      Join Date
      Oct 17th, 2002
      Location
      Gapiana
      Posts
      40,305
      03-30-2012 10:57 AM #25
      I've never seen it occur, but I have pulled up to a pump that was broken off at the coupling and the hose laying about 20 feet away, so I must have missed it by a couple minutes.

      How much does it cost to fix that? There's a station near my work that has handwritten signs taped to the pumps that say "You pay for broken hose due to drive-off" or something similar in horrible Engrish.
      MemeGate 2012 - First Responder, post #2

      Quote Originally Posted by .skully.
      Mike, quote me in your signature

    25. 03-30-2012 11:10 AM #26
      Quote Originally Posted by ATL_Av8r View Post
      I've never seen it occur, but I have pulled up to a pump that was broken off at the coupling and the hose laying about 20 feet away, so I must have missed it by a couple minutes.

      How much does it cost to fix that? There's a station near my work that has handwritten signs taped to the pumps that say "You pay for broken hose due to drive-off" or something similar in horrible Engrish.
      Depending on how far I must drive and how much damage is done.... $100 to much, much more. Most of the time, i reconnect it and I'm on my way. sometimes needs breakaway, sometimes it tweaks the pump enough to crack the meter. If it's a weekend at a get go, sheetz, pilot, or somewhere who insists on emergency service, OT applies. can get real pricy.

      If its reconnectable and the site owner is capable... free. RARELY the case.

    26. Member backinthegame's Avatar
      Join Date
      Dec 13th, 2004
      Location
      Virginia Beach, VA
      Posts
      4,432
      Vehicles
      89 Cabriolet, 89 Jetta 03 A6 Avant, 08 Tribeca, 2012 powerwheels Jeep
      03-30-2012 11:19 AM #27
      About 15 years ago when I lived in Tucson, I found a decoupled nozzle with about 3 feet of hose attached to it behind a 7-11. I would put it in my filler neck and drive around. People would honk and yell and I'd just smile and wave at them like I thought they were just being friendly.
      Sent from my Droid using an escape pod to Tattoine.


      Quote Originally Posted by mad8vskillz View Post
      they're trying to skip out on their contracts via rapture. not very christian of them

    27. 03-30-2012 11:31 AM #28
      Quote Originally Posted by GimmieA40 View Post

      If its reconnectable and the site owner is capable... free. RARELY the case.
      I had that happen once when I was a pump jocky. Woman said $10 ( this was in 1993, with 1960's pumps)) I put the nozzle in on slow, went to wash her window. She handed me the $10 and the pump clicked off from an air bubble. I went back and " VROOM" away she went. Jerked the pump sideways some and then the disconnect snapped and she drove off. Never saw her again. Nozzle was about 10 yards away in the street. Made a mess, but not too bad.

    28. 03-30-2012 11:59 AM #29
      I really need to start saving more carnage pics. These are pretty recent, I still have the pics.



    29. Member
      Join Date
      Jul 18th, 2011
      Location
      The Void
      Posts
      900
      Vehicles
      VR6
      03-30-2012 12:12 PM #31
      one time this girl ( ~17yo) in a brand new (at the time) benz, pulls up next to me at a stop sign...
      On the wrong side of the road.

      She rolls down her window and is frantically trying to get my attention... roll down the window
      "yes?"
      "Hey Im in the wrong lane can I go in front of you..."
      "sureee..?"
      *Huge Smile&wave* "THANKS!" drives off

      How the f*ck did you end up on the wrong side of the road

      Personally this stereotype is pretty dead for me, I've seen so many bad male drivers
      that I've deduced that its just 90% of the american population that cant drive
      wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff.

      It's no fun riding lightning bolts without war drums!

    30. Banned Chilledman's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jul 14th, 2010
      Location
      USA
      Posts
      3,637
      03-30-2012 12:17 PM #32
      Quote Originally Posted by TheGreenspanator View Post



      Also, the only person I've ever seen drive away with gas filler still in the car was a middle-aged man in a brand new 5 series
      Typical woman , making up stories to make them feel better about there lack of ability to drive


    31. Member
      Join Date
      Mar 20th, 2002
      Location
      Oh-I-O
      Posts
      2,681
      Vehicles
      13 GTI, 12 Subaru LadyWagon
      03-30-2012 04:17 PM #34
      Quote Originally Posted by TheGreenspanator View Post
      This.

      And OMG, hahah women are so stupid! And dumb! And bad drivers....

      You know, this crap doesn't go unnoticed by us womenfolk. We remember this for next time you want the goods.
      “There are only three sports: bullfighting, motor racing, and mountaineering; all the rest are merely games.” Ernest Hemingway

    32. Member VadGTI's Avatar
      Join Date
      Feb 24th, 2000
      Location
      Hollywooooooood, CA
      Posts
      16,908
      Vehicles
      2013 GTI/S60R/E30 M3 (imported from Nigeria)
      03-30-2012 04:25 PM #35
      Confession time....



































































































































      I broke off one of those hoses once .



      It was around '98, I was in a hurry, jumped in, drove off, looked in the mirror, saw the hose. Went to the cashier who told me to just leave it on the ground next to the store. So, I did .
      Leonardo - Team Post-Killing Ninja
      Fizzy - Team My Little Pony

      Quote Originally Posted by Jrod511 View Post
      If I could do one thing with a DeLorean it would be to give Vad's parents a condom.
      Quote Originally Posted by Sledge View Post
      Do you want to be known as the guy who makes worse automotive decisions than VadGTI?

    Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

    Posting Permissions

    • You may not post new threads
    • You may not post replies
    • You may not post attachments
    • You may not edit your posts
    •