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    Thread: A man is given tests in life...

    1. Senior Member FlashRedGLS1.8T's Avatar
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      09-19-2011 07:05 AM #26
      Quote Originally Posted by Doedrums View Post
      My daughter is 16. You guys have NO IDEA what you're in for.

    2. Member Doedrums's Avatar
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      09-19-2011 10:29 AM #27
      Quote Originally Posted by D-Tung View Post
      Got a 5-year-old daughter...NOT looking forward to the teenage years. Sigh.
      Quote Originally Posted by Tornado2dr View Post
      lalalalalalalala iiii caaan't heaaar you.....lalalalalalalalala
      Quote Originally Posted by FlashRedGLS1.8T View Post



      Good luck.
      And if love remains, though everything is lost, we will pay the price but will not count the cost. -Neil Peart
      All hands, abandon ship!! Repeat, all hands abandon ship!!!!!
      I'm addicted to track!
      I'll stop "Hatin'" when YOU stop acting like a jackass.

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      09-19-2011 01:38 PM #28
      Best of luck to you. I'm having a hard enough time with my girlfriends two year old girl and a mom that seems to dislike me disciplining her.

      Kind of like trial by fire. Any pointers?

    4. Member Tornado2dr's Avatar
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      09-19-2011 01:55 PM #29
      Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Roloff View Post
      Best of luck to you. I'm having a hard enough time with my girlfriends two year old girl and a mom that seems to dislike me disciplining her.

      Kind of like trial by fire. Any pointers?
      I wouldn't try disciplining a child if he/she wasn't mine and I didn't have express direction from the parent that I was to be a disciplinary figure.

      And two years old? You can do a very brief time-out and some stern "no-HOT, no-SHARP, no-OUCH...beyond that and they just don't have the capacity to know what is going on.

    5. Member titleist1976's Avatar
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      09-19-2011 01:55 PM #30
      Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Roloff View Post
      Best of luck to you. I'm having a hard enough time with my girlfriends two year old girl and a mom that seems to dislike me disciplining her.

      Kind of like trial by fire. Any pointers?
      I did this relationship for about six months. That's all I could take. RUN! RUN FORREST RUN!!! is the best advice I can give you.

      You will never be allowed to discipline that child. Anything you say will be used against you and sex will be withheld.

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      09-19-2011 03:26 PM #31
      You wouldn't have it any other way....until they turn teen.

      Good luck

    7. Senior Member FlashRedGLS1.8T's Avatar
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      09-19-2011 05:08 PM #32
      Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Roloff View Post
      Best of luck to you. I'm having a hard enough time with my girlfriends two year old girl and a mom that seems to dislike me disciplining her.

      Kind of like trial by fire. Any pointers?
      Uh...good luck. Not my child, not my place to discipline.

      But I will say that if my girl and me had that different of opinions on discipline, then it's probably a sign that I'd not want to be in that relationship.

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      09-19-2011 06:07 PM #33
      Quote Originally Posted by Tornado2dr View Post
      I wouldn't try disciplining a child if he/she wasn't mine and I didn't have express direction from the parent that I was to be a disciplinary figure.

      And two years old? You can do a very brief time-out and some stern "no-HOT, no-SHARP, no-OUCH...beyond that and they just don't have the capacity to know what is going on.
      GF and I are living together and I see the child almost more than the dad. If thats anyway to put it.

      I would take that stance, but I have been told that I would be backed up on stuff. But just because I took some frosting packs for Toaster Strudels from her this morning, I get my a$$ chewed.

      One of those classic item-gets-taken-run-and-start-crying-when-mommy-is-in-sight moments.

      I've heard the she is only two argument quite a bit but she is pretty smart for 2 and I personally think it is a mixture of getting ZERO discipline from her dad/uncle who spoils her, to coming here and running into a dude that will actually raise a kid and not just watch her run around.

    9. Member titleist1976's Avatar
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      09-19-2011 06:18 PM #34
      You will never change this. It will get old. Believe me now, or not... Like I said, I lived through this bs and sometimes you just need to know when to move along with your life. The father of my gf's kid wasn't even in the picture.

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      09-19-2011 09:23 PM #35
      Sorry for the thread jack, OP.

      I do hear you on that. She just got home from dropping her off at her dad's and I have been running errands all day.

      So we finally talked about how there are two different conflict resolution styles within each home. And I asked her to talk to the child's dad and uncle about how they go about disciplining her. Pretty much asked if there could be some kind of cross communication between homes so that she sees the same thing or as close to the same thing as possible at each house.

      She comes back totally different and sees different things and I personally feel it is a good idea for us all to be on the same sheet of music. The mom says she won't control what goes on there. So I'm at a loss for words at the moment.

    11. Senior Member FlashRedGLS1.8T's Avatar
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      09-19-2011 10:07 PM #36
      Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Roloff View Post
      She comes back totally different and sees different things and I personally feel it is a good idea for us all to be on the same sheet of music.
      Consistency is very important.

      The mom says she won't control what goes on there. So I'm at a loss for words at the moment.


      As a child in a split home, this will never be easy.

    12. Member
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      09-19-2011 10:51 PM #37
      Look at us, debating in two different threads

      I couldn't agree more with the above statements.
      Last edited by Mr. Roloff; 09-19-2011 at 10:54 PM.

    13. Geriatric Member firefighterjunkie's Avatar
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      09-23-2011 04:12 PM #38
      Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Roloff View Post
      GF and I are living together and I see the child almost more than the dad. If thats anyway to put it.

      I would take that stance, but I have been told that I would be backed up on stuff. But just because I took some frosting packs for Toaster Strudels from her this morning, I get my a$$ chewed.

      One of those classic item-gets-taken-run-and-start-crying-when-mommy-is-in-sight moments.

      I've heard the she is only two argument quite a bit but she is pretty smart for 2 and I personally think it is a mixture of getting ZERO discipline from her dad/uncle who spoils her, to coming here and running into a dude that will actually raise a kid and not just watch her run around.
      I've kind of been in your situation, except role reversal. My husband has a child with an ex gf and I met their son when he was just over 2. It was definitely hard, but part of that is the age, and not necessarily the circumstance (although the circumstances don't help). You need to talk to your gf and come up with "acceptable" punishment/reprimand for you to administer to the daughter. You can't always just sit back and let the child do whatever it wants. I mean, I can understand her not wanting you to go overboard, but you should be allowed to put her in time out or something - especially if this is in YOUR house.

      I fully admit, I am not a big fan of the 2 year old age I think once my step son hit 3, things significantly improved and then 4 was even better. I was allowed to remove privileges, and reprimand for bad behavior, and that was it. But, at the same time - that's all that was ever needed.

      Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Roloff View Post
      Sorry for the thread jack, OP.

      I do hear you on that. She just got home from dropping her off at her dad's and I have been running errands all day.

      So we finally talked about how there are two different conflict resolution styles within each home. And I asked her to talk to the child's dad and uncle about how they go about disciplining her. Pretty much asked if there could be some kind of cross communication between homes so that she sees the same thing or as close to the same thing as possible at each house.

      She comes back totally different and sees different things and I personally feel it is a good idea for us all to be on the same sheet of music. The mom says she won't control what goes on there. So I'm at a loss for words at the moment.
      Good luck on getting everyone on the same page. We were never able to do that, unfortunately. I think you are totally on the right wave length though. Sounds like you have more sense than anyone else involved in your situation.

    14. 09-24-2011 12:56 PM #39
      Quote Originally Posted by Tornado2dr View Post
      Apparently, mine will be women.

      Just found out last night that we have another little girl on the way.

      It's gonna make for an estrogen filled house! Wife, Daughter #1 (almost 2), and two female dogs mean pops is seriously outnumbered.

      Wouldn't have it any other way.
      Congrats. You're not alone. My cousin has 7 girls.

    15. Member Tornado2dr's Avatar
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      09-26-2011 07:21 AM #40
      Quote Originally Posted by dr_spock View Post
      Congrats. You're not alone. My cousin has 7 girls.
      My god.

      My whole deal is that I am literally surrounded by women. Here is a list of people who will frequent close FAMILY gatherings like Thanksgiving and Christmas:

      Wife
      Daughter (now with s)
      Dog1
      Dog2
      My Mother (Never knew my father, he left/divorced my mother while she was pregnant)
      My grandmother
      MIL
      SIL
      MIL's three sisters
      Wife's cousin1(female)
      Wife's cousins 2 and 3 (females)

      If I am lucky, wifey will be able to get cousin #4 to come. He's a bmw nut, likes beer, so we get along. Sadly- he is smart and finds a way to avoid the mass gatherings of the estrogen crew. Often these gatherings are held at my home, so I literally have to run away or hide out in the garage to avoid the cackling.

      Oh well, I normally am rewarded by the wifey for putting up with all of the shenanigans.

    16. Senior Member FlashRedGLS1.8T's Avatar
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      09-26-2011 07:31 AM #41
      Quote Originally Posted by firefighterjunkie View Post
      I fully admit, I am not a big fan of the 2 year old age I think once my step son hit 3, things significantly improved and then 4 was even better.
      Trust me...that's not the case with girls. Good luck in 2-7 years.

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      09-26-2011 09:26 AM #42
      Quote Originally Posted by Tornado2dr View Post
      My god.

      My whole deal is that I am literally surrounded by women. Here is a list of people who will frequent close FAMILY gatherings like Thanksgiving and Christmas:

      Wife
      Daughter (now with s)
      Dog1
      Dog2
      My Mother (Never knew my father, he left/divorced my mother while she was pregnant)
      My grandmother
      MIL
      SIL
      MIL's three sisters
      Wife's cousin1(female)
      Wife's cousins 2 and 3 (females)

      If I am lucky, wifey will be able to get cousin #4 to come. He's a bmw nut, likes beer, so we get along. Sadly- he is smart and finds a way to avoid the mass gatherings of the estrogen crew. Often these gatherings are held at my home, so I literally have to run away or hide out in the garage to avoid the cackling.

      Oh well, I normally am rewarded by the wifey for putting up with all of the shenanigans.
      Sounds eerily familiar. Between my daughters, my wife, MIL, her two sisters, the girl cousins, and then whatever of the 5 sisters, 8 girl cousins decide to come to our family functions. It is almost always a 6 -1 girl/guy ratio. Plus my wife owns a hair salon, so I feel like I have another 200 naggy women in my life that I don't even know, but I knwo their stories.

    18. Member Tornado2dr's Avatar
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      09-26-2011 10:46 AM #43
      Quote Originally Posted by Papa Dras View Post
      Sounds eerily familiar. Between my daughters, my wife, MIL, her two sisters, the girl cousins, and then whatever of the 5 sisters, 8 girl cousins decide to come to our family functions. It is almost always a 6 -1 girl/guy ratio. Plus my wife owns a hair salon, so I feel like I have another 200 naggy women in my life that I don't even know, but I knwo their stories.
      HA!

      Often my wife will bring along her 5 closest friends. They've been close since they were all 12 yeasrs old or so, and i've found it quite rare for women to keep that many friends so close for so long...but they get together and are insane (without alcohol...add that, and all bets are OFF).

    19. Member 20DYNAMITE07's Avatar
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      09-26-2011 01:05 PM #44
      Quote Originally Posted by Tornado2dr View Post
      HA!

      Often my wife will bring along her 5 closest friends. They've been close since they were all 12 yeasrs old or so, and i've found it quite rare for women to keep that many friends so close for so long...but they get together and are insane (without alcohol...add that, and all bets are OFF).
      7 way?
      "We'll not risk another frontal assault... that rabbit's DYNAMITE!"

    20. Member Tornado2dr's Avatar
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      11-02-2011 08:52 PM #45
      Quote Originally Posted by FlashRedGLS1.8T View Post
      Trust me...that's not the case with girls. Good luck in 2-7 years.
      So - does the "weepy" stage just continue? I left work early looking forward to an afternoon with the little one while wifey was out and about - - - she's two, what could I possibly be doing to make her so emotional about everything? (the block falling, the crayon falling, the dog licking her at HER request, the book closing, the car rolling andonandonandonandon...

    21. Senior Member FlashRedGLS1.8T's Avatar
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      11-03-2011 07:51 AM #46
      Quote Originally Posted by Tornado2dr View Post
      So - does the "weepy" stage just continue? I left work early looking forward to an afternoon with the little one while wifey was out and about - - - she's two, what could I possibly be doing to make her so emotional about everything? (the block falling, the crayon falling, the dog licking her at HER request, the book closing, the car rolling andonandonandonandon...
      In my experience, it does.

      Our soon to be 8 year old seems to have emotional breakdowns for the oddest reasons. She plays soccer, basketball and does gymnastics and while doing those, she's as hard as a rock. But if she drops a hair clip running up the stairs, that could set her off sitting on the stairs crying for 10 minutes.

      Completely unreasonable and pure emotion.
      It's a freaking mystery to me.

    22. Member Tornado2dr's Avatar
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      11-03-2011 09:45 AM #47
      Quote Originally Posted by FlashRedGLS1.8T View Post
      It's a freaking mystery to me.
      Magnets
      Women

      ^^^ How does that **** work?

      According to my wife, the one on the way is a firecraker compared to our 2yo(who I think has quite the personality herself). She says she "wakes up" and starts moving around at the smallest of noises and kicks back at unhappy or loud noises. I'm doomed!

      That's okay - for me the good stuff stacks up way higher than the "bad" or usual stuff so far.
      Last edited by Tornado2dr; 11-03-2011 at 09:51 AM.

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      11-03-2011 09:47 AM #48
      Personally, I find it amusing. Our almost 4 year old girl is tough as nails and as active as they come, so she is always falling and geting bruised up. But, if she messes up a drawing or can't find a doll and the water works begin. I love it. Nothing a hug and a "no big deal" can't fix.

      Did any of us expect having girls to not be complex?

    24. Senior Member FlashRedGLS1.8T's Avatar
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      11-03-2011 09:48 AM #49
      Quote Originally Posted by Tornado2dr View Post
      That's okay - for me the good stuff stacks up way higher than the "bad" or usual stuff so far.
      Oh absolutely, not even close.

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      11-03-2011 10:37 AM #50
      Congrats on the news

      I fear the next couple of years. Stepdaughter is 15, getting into the bitchy phase (I discipline and am such a horrible parent for it )
      Not much in the way of boys thank god, she is such a ***-hag. Yes i use that term with no means of disrespect to her friends.




      Stepson is 17 and is such a shut in i don't have to worry about him getting into trouble....for now
      Yeah, it's an 8v. If I wanted a sporty car, I'd buy an R.

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