Okay so this is how you get a stuck ****ty compression tester out.
Step one: buy beer, smoke and grill meat. I did none of the cooking, just the eating and drinking.
Step two: buy more beer, long 12" drill bit set.
This is what we're working with:
Hose broke off:
This is left stuck in spark plug hole about 5" down:
Drilled holes, cut socket, ratchet + extension = no more stuckness