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    Thread: engagement/ wedding rings?

    1. Member
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      12-14-2011 05:12 PM #36
      I love taking in the ring every year for the appraisal for insurance and I don't know whether to roll my eyes or laugh at the value they attach. It has gone up $5k in the last 6 years.

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      12-15-2011 08:01 AM #37
      I didn't pay for here engagement or her wedding ring, both belonged to my mother. Here wedding ring belonged to my grandmother, we recently had it appraised and found out it was worth about $8k. I can't imagine what it cost 60 years ago.

      Regardless, we both win. She got her diamonds, I didn't have to pay for them. Some of her friends have more expensive rings, but they all agree that my wife's ring is the most beautiful. The fact that it is a family piece means so much more than something new.
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      12-15-2011 08:32 AM #38
      Quote Originally Posted by patrikman View Post
      I didn't pay for here engagement or her wedding ring, both belonged to my mother. Here wedding ring belonged to my grandmother, we recently had it appraised and found out it was worth about $8k. I can't imagine what it cost 60 years ago.

      Regardless, we both win. She got her diamonds, I didn't have to pay for them. Some of her friends have more expensive rings, but they all agree that my wife's ring is the most beautiful. The fact that it is a family piece means so much more than something new.
      patrikman's opinion is that more than $0 is too much.

    4. Senior Member patrikman's Avatar
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      12-15-2011 03:14 PM #39
      Quote Originally Posted by FlashRedGLS1.8T View Post
      patrikman's opinion is that more than $0 is too much.
      Wrong answer, I just feel some people put too much value on the ring. The ring is what matters, not how much debt is attached to it.
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      12-15-2011 03:32 PM #40
      Quote Originally Posted by patrikman View Post
      The ring is what matters, not how much debt is attached to it.
      x2

    6. Senior Member patrikman's Avatar
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      12-15-2011 07:13 PM #41
      Jesus, just noticed the autocorrect spelling fails in my post.
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      12-15-2011 08:12 PM #42
      Quote Originally Posted by patrikman View Post
      Wrong answer, I just feel some people put too much value on the ring. The ring is what matters, not how much debt is attached to it.
      I think a lot of people agree, but the fact is that sometimes to get the ring that matters, money has to be spent. You are lucky that you were able to have a nice ring and not pay anything. Most people aren't in that situation. Remember that someone paid a pretty penny for that ring at some point- it just wasn't you.

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      12-19-2011 02:07 PM #43
      My wife's mom passed away about 2 years before we got engaged. We used one of her rings. The sentimental value is priceless (my wife wore it when her mom was in the hospital with cancer, and she told her she wanted me to use it as an engagement ring if she passed), but the appraised value is probably more like $15k. If I had been doing the buying, I'd probably have spent about 1/10 of that. That 3 months salary crap is just marketing BS from the diamond industry. If you make $100k a year, you shouldn't be spending $25k on a ring ---- that's close to have of your take home pay!

      We spent about $2000+ on each of our wedding bands. Hers is 11 diamonds set in platinum, and mine is just a big platinum ring. We spent that much because we needed a band for her that would complement her existing ring and we figured it was only fair to spend the same for me Again, if we needed something to go with a significantly smaller ring, we probably would have spent a lot less.

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      Last edited by GTiTOM; 12-19-2011 at 02:09 PM.

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      12-19-2011 03:32 PM #44
      My wife thinks there's some crazy rule about the wedding ring being 3 months of my salary.
      As highschool sweethearts, I gave her a 500 dollar promise ring 10 years ago, a new ring when we were engaged 5 years ago, and another ring on the wedding day. She didn't get to see it until the ring-bearer brought it to her. For 15,000 dollars, she'd better like the damn thing. It took me 3 hours to pick out. 3 hours!

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      12-19-2011 05:44 PM #45
      Quote Originally Posted by Hurt View Post
      My wife thinks there's some crazy rule about the wedding ring being 3 months of my salary.
      As highschool sweethearts, I gave her a 500 dollar promise ring 10 years ago, a new ring when we were engaged 5 years ago, and another ring on the wedding day. She didn't get to see it until the ring-bearer brought it to her. For 15,000 dollars, she'd better like the damn thing. It took me 3 hours to pick out. 3 hours!
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      12-21-2011 05:06 PM #46
      This thread reminds me I have the coolest wife in the world. Got her engagement ring for $250 on Etsy, she loved it so much we had the same lady do a wedding band for her in the same finish.

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      12-22-2011 09:34 AM #47
      Quote Originally Posted by .devinc. View Post
      This thread reminds me I have the coolest wife in the world. Got her engagement ring for $250 on Etsy, she loved it so much we had the same lady do a wedding band for her in the same finish.
      That's pretty cool.

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      12-22-2011 10:08 AM #48
      I'm a lucky dude....

    14. 12-23-2011 09:36 AM #49
      Quote Originally Posted by patrikman View Post
      I didn't pay for here engagement or her wedding ring, both belonged to my mother. Here wedding ring belonged to my grandmother, we recently had it appraised and found out it was worth about $8k. I can't imagine what it cost 60 years ago.

      Regardless, we both win. She got her diamonds, I didn't have to pay for them. Some of her friends have more expensive rings, but they all agree that my wife's ring is the most beautiful. The fact that it is a family piece means so much more than something new.
      How do most people feel about that?

      My mom has offered a stone that has been in the family for a little bit should I ever find a lucky lady. It's still a long way off but I don't want to have to pay big bucks for a ring should the time come.

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      12-23-2011 10:21 AM #50
      Quote Originally Posted by joness0154 View Post
      How do most people feel about that?

      My mom has offered a stone that has been in the family for a little bit should I ever find a lucky lady. It's still a long way off but I don't want to have to pay big bucks for a ring should the time come.
      That's what I did (see post above). I have several friends who did the same. Kills two birds with one stone too --- what's the point of having family diamonds sitting in a safe deposit box instead of actually getting worn by someone?

    16. 12-23-2011 11:19 AM #51
      Quote Originally Posted by GTiTOM View Post
      That's what I did (see post above). I have several friends who did the same. Kills two birds with one stone too --- what's the point of having family diamonds sitting in a safe deposit box instead of actually getting worn by someone?
      Kinda my thoughts too.

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      12-23-2011 04:53 PM #52
      First of all, it bears re-iterating that the 3-month salary "rule" was created by the diamond industry for obvious reasons. 3-month salary would've been absolutely ridiculous and my wife would've been appalled since it would've been so excessively unneccesary. Granted, I did spend a very decent amount on her engagement ring as well as wedding ring. At the end of the day, she still decribes her engagement ring as "perfect" and that's all that matters.
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      12-23-2011 05:14 PM #53
      Quote Originally Posted by joness0154 View Post
      How do most people feel about that?

      My mom has offered a stone that has been in the family for a little bit should I ever find a lucky lady. It's still a long way off but I don't want to have to pay big bucks for a ring should the time come.
      If I had that option, I surely would have done it. I think it means a lot more than spending a grip of money on a ring. I spent an embarrassing amount now that I look back and am much wiser, but it will be something that will be passed down in a similar fashion. Hopefully.

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      12-25-2011 11:58 AM #54
      Quote Originally Posted by joness0154 View Post
      How do most people feel about that?

      My mom has offered a stone that has been in the family for a little bit should I ever find a lucky lady. It's still a long way off but I don't want to have to pay big bucks for a ring should the time come.
      Me, and this is me personally (and I think I said it in my earlier post), I think like this:

      A) It's symbolic in that you are asking for her hand in marriage
      B) If she truly loves you and truly wants to be with you forever, she could/should care less if you put an onion ring on her finger, she would still marry you.
      C) All of that money spent on a ring could be used for better purposes (someone said they dropped $15K above - good for them, but that makes me want to go crawl into bed and start crying ). It becomes bragging rights for her to start doing the whole "the hand enters the room before she does" bling bling thing. All of her friends can look at it and go "oooooo, isn't she lucky? She bagged herself a Mr. Moneybags! Good for her!"
      D) It supposedly needing to cost 1-3 months salary, who do you think came up with that? The same people that came up with Valentines Day and other holidays where you are now obligated, regardless of how much money you make, to go out and buy stuff.

      Again, we spent about $500 for both of our matching wedding rings that were custom made by an artist that we met at an art festival. I think I paid something like $375 for the engagement ring at a shop I found in the middle of nowhere that was going out of business. I think it was like $1800 regular price.

      It's all subjective - if you've got the dough to throw around and dropping tens of thousands of dollars on a ring is "normal", who am I to say anything? It's just like all the people I pass daily in their Bentley's, Ferrari, Lotus, and high end BMW and Audi cars - if someone can comfortably drop $80K - $150K on a car and think nothing of it, even though it makes me cry because I can barely put food on the table now, who am I to judge? All I'm saying is that if the woman truly loves you and wants to be with you, the dollar amount should absolutely NOT matter and if you put a plastic ring on her finger out of a vending machine, she would still love you. Again, my personal opinion

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      01-14-2012 10:30 PM #55
      Quote Originally Posted by MeineFolks'wagen View Post
      Me, and this is me personally (and I think I said it in my earlier post), I think like this:

      A) It's symbolic in that you are asking for her hand in marriage
      B) If she truly loves you and truly wants to be with you forever, she could/should care less if you put an onion ring on her finger, she would still marry you.
      C) All of that money spent on a ring could be used for better purposes (someone said they dropped $15K above - good for them, but that makes me want to go crawl into bed and start crying ). It becomes bragging rights for her to start doing the whole "the hand enters the room before she does" bling bling thing. All of her friends can look at it and go "oooooo, isn't she lucky? She bagged herself a Mr. Moneybags! Good for her!"
      D) It supposedly needing to cost 1-3 months salary, who do you think came up with that? The same people that came up with Valentines Day and other holidays where you are now obligated, regardless of how much money you make, to go out and buy stuff.

      Again, we spent about $500 for both of our matching wedding rings that were custom made by an artist that we met at an art festival. I think I paid something like $375 for the engagement ring at a shop I found in the middle of nowhere that was going out of business. I think it was like $1800 regular price.

      It's all subjective - if you've got the dough to throw around and dropping tens of thousands of dollars on a ring is "normal", who am I to say anything? It's just like all the people I pass daily in their Bentley's, Ferrari, Lotus, and high end BMW and Audi cars - if someone can comfortably drop $80K - $150K on a car and think nothing of it, even though it makes me cry because I can barely put food on the table now, who am I to judge? All I'm saying is that if the woman truly loves you and wants to be with you, the dollar amount should absolutely NOT matter and if you put a plastic ring on her finger out of a vending machine, she would still love you. Again, my personal opinion
      Should the day come that my bf proposes to me, I hope he uses the diamond that my dad gave me. I would love to have an artist make our wedding bands as well because it would be ours, and no one else would have them.
      It doesn't matter how much he spends. I know that he can't afford to save 3 months salary to buy a ring. I don't want him to either. I'd rather he finish his cabby, or vrt.

      It really is the fact that he thought about the rest of his life, and wants me to be a part of it. That is all I need to be happy to be his wife.
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      01-15-2012 10:44 AM #56
      Quote Originally Posted by sharonb2010 View Post
      Should the day come that my bf proposes to me, I hope he uses the diamond that my dad gave me. I would love to have an artist make our wedding bands as well because it would be ours, and no one else would have them.
      It doesn't matter how much he spends. I know that he can't afford to save 3 months salary to buy a ring. I don't want him to either. I'd rather he finish his cabby, or vrt.

      It really is the fact that he thought about the rest of his life, and wants me to be a part of it. That is all I need to be happy to be his wife.
      Don't take this wrong, but are you <22? NM, just read your other post.
      Last edited by Papa Dras; 01-15-2012 at 11:13 AM.

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      01-16-2012 10:55 AM #57
      "How much to spend on ring" is a question that can only be answered by the INDIVIDUAL and is based on Financial situation.

      It really comes down to "what one can afford without getting into ANY debt".

      3 month salary = BS and the dumbest baseline EVER.

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      01-16-2012 10:56 AM #58
      Quote Originally Posted by sharonb2010 View Post
      Should the day come that my bf proposes to me, I hope he uses the diamond that my dad gave me. I would love to have an artist make our wedding bands as well because it would be ours, and no one else would have them.
      It doesn't matter how much he spends. I know that he can't afford to save 3 months salary to buy a ring. I don't want him to either. I'd rather he finish his cabby, or vrt.

      It really is the fact that he thought about the rest of his life, and wants me to be a part of it. That is all I need to be happy to be his wife.
      you are the 1%

      but

      PS. My wife was happy with fact that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her as well, and didn't really give a crap about the ring or the value. It pretty much sealed the deal.

      If she came at me with "how much" or Materialist BS, I wouldn't probably broke up with her right on the spot.

      She knows what financial situation we are in and what I can afford etc.

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      01-17-2012 08:03 AM #59
      My brother and his wife purchased tungsten rings off Amazon. Looks sort of like platinum, stupid durable, and not overly expensive. Sure they're a bit plain, but they do the job and they're both satisfied with them. His best friend also did the same, though he could have plunked down a ton on a "real" ring. Heh.

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      01-17-2012 10:03 AM #60
      When we went to get my band, we both loved the tungston. I wanted something nice and heavy on my hand as a reminder, similar to a ball and chain. But, honestly, the compliments I would get on it was amusing considering it was just a $300 ring.

    26. 03-08-2012 10:28 PM #61
      There are many types of Wedding and Engagement rings designed especially to serve the purpose.These are available at various models and at various prices. Some of them are available for low costs where as the others are very expensive. The Diamonds serves better for the purpose. The best collection of Engagement and Wedding ring settings with styles are available in many of the jewelery shops and their details can be viewed through the websites.

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      03-20-2012 12:56 PM #62
      Quote Originally Posted by DUB_MANGv2 View Post
      how cheap is too cheap? did you make up for it with the actual wedding ring? is the ring something you both go shopping for, or something you pick out?

      how about the actual wedding ring? whats a decent price?
      I'm right in the middle of this process of acquiring an engagement ring myself and I don't think there is a definitve answer to your question. I personally think that blowing a ton of money on jewelry is foolish, but judging by what I've read in other threads on this topic around here, I know that several people would think that what I end up spending will be way too much. So really, it's all relative. You have to know your lady and know what she likes and what will make her happy. I know that my gf is very particular about things and so it was my best bet to go shopping with her a few times to get an idea of the setting style and stone size that she liked relative to the price I was willing to pay. I made sure we looked at every style she even remotely considered--even traveled to NYC to go to one jeweler who had settings she lusted after for years online.

      OTOH, I have a buddy who's wife wasn't really all that interested in diamonds or anything fancy and he got some type of relatively inexpensive gemstone engagement ring custom made. Another buddy didn't consult with his wife at all and just winged the whole thing because he knew she'd be happy with whatever he picked out. Obviously, since both of my friends are married, their situations worked out for them. But I'm not sure either situation would work for me.

      Though I also have a deal with the potentially future wife that whatever I spend on an engagement ring will be similar to what she'll spend on a watch for me as her wedding gift. So in my situation, there is some motivation for me to not totally cheap out (which I tend to do in most areas of life), as I really like watches.

      Haven't gotten to the wedding band part just yet though. My suspicion is that the wedding band will be something we do together, especially since I want something a little different and I'm sure she has her own thoughts.

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      03-26-2012 05:13 PM #63
      Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaC View Post
      Oh boy! I diamonds! General rule of thumb...you are supposed to spend at least 3 months salary on the engagement ring.
      Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaC View Post
      It's not just what I think. That IS the general rule of thumb.
      The idea that a man should spend a significant fraction of his annual income for an engagement ring originated de novo from De Beers marketing materials in the early 20th century, in an effort to increase the sale of diamonds.[1] In the 1930s, they suggested that a man should spend the equivalent of one month's income in the engagement ring; later they suggested that he should spend two months' income on it.[1] In 2007, the average cost of an engagement ring in USA as reported by the industry was US$2,100.[4]
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Engagement_ring

      I spent $1300 on my wife's engagement ring back in 2000. It's just under half a karat but she always gets compliments on how good it looks.

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      03-26-2012 05:26 PM #64
      I just don't understand appraisals and how they work. If I were to believe it's true, my wife's ring has appreciated about 200% since I bought it 8 years ago.

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      04-13-2012 04:21 PM #65
      Diamonique. It's fake but looks as real as real can be, and no one lost an arm trying to get at it.

      I didn't get an engagement ring since we were never really engaged. I picked out our wedding bands from Etsy, they are Tungsten and have custom engraving on the inside and they were both under $100. Our lives are not in a place where we could justify something like pricey jewelry. He has promissed me a rock for our 5 year reconsideration ceremony .

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      04-14-2012 06:20 AM #66
      Quote Originally Posted by Papa Dras View Post
      I just don't understand appraisals and how they work. If I were to believe it's true, my wife's ring has appreciated about 200% since I bought it 8 years ago.
      Throw poop at a wall and see what sticks?

      Same here.

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      04-16-2012 11:36 AM #67
      Quote Originally Posted by sharonb2010 View Post
      Should the day come that my bf proposes to me, I hope he uses the diamond that my dad gave me. I would love to have an artist make our wedding bands as well because it would be ours, and no one else would have them.
      It doesn't matter how much he spends. I know that he can't afford to save 3 months salary to buy a ring. I don't want him to either. I'd rather he finish his cabby, or vrt.

      It really is the fact that he thought about the rest of his life, and wants me to be a part of it. That is all I need to be happy to be his wife.

      x2. My hubby and I were together for almost 6 1/2 years when we got engaged. We were basically just waiting to finish college. We had looked at rings together and even though I loved a few that were $1k+, I thought it was just silly to spend so much money on a ring. Its more of a symbol. So for me, I wanted something different. Nothing huge and flashy. I wanted color. He ended up choosing a band with diamonds and blue sapphires and I absolutely love it. When we bought our wedding rings, I made sure that my wedding band complimented the engagement ring first and foremost. Its a band with smaller diamonds so it looks similar but sets the sapphires off well. He made the best choice, IMO. We went through a lot to get to the point of getting engaged so it meant more that he was ready to make the commitment to me. We have better things to spend money on

      Though I will say I wouldn't mind a slightly flashier ring in a few years, but still not the norm. I would love the other ring he was looking at for me...3 stone with the blue sapphire in the center, diamonds on the sides. But I don't expect it anytime soon. We bought a house in the fall...much better
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      04-19-2012 08:15 PM #68
      Quote Originally Posted by AlyssaC View Post
      Your wife is a lucky woman.
      She's spoiled. Not lucky. Lol. She deserves to be pampered, in my eyes, as she watches the children 24/7 and still makes time for me, works on our cars with me, etc.. She's a really good person.

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