I love taking in the ring every year for the appraisal for insurance and I don't know whether to roll my eyes or laugh at the value they attach. It has gone up $5k in the last 6 years.
I didn't pay for here engagement or her wedding ring, both belonged to my mother. Here wedding ring belonged to my grandmother, we recently had it appraised and found out it was worth about $8k. I can't imagine what it cost 60 years ago.
Regardless, we both win. She got her diamonds, I didn't have to pay for them. Some of her friends have more expensive rings, but they all agree that my wife's ring is the most beautiful. The fact that it is a family piece means so much more than something new.
My wife's mom passed away about 2 years before we got engaged. We used one of her rings. The sentimental value is priceless (my wife wore it when her mom was in the hospital with cancer, and she told her she wanted me to use it as an engagement ring if she passed), but the appraised value is probably more like $15k. If I had been doing the buying, I'd probably have spent about 1/10 of that. That 3 months salary crap is just marketing BS from the diamond industry. If you make $100k a year, you shouldn't be spending $25k on a ring ---- that's close to have of your take home pay!
We spent about $2000+ on each of our wedding bands. Hers is 11 diamonds set in platinum, and mine is just a big platinum ring. We spent that much because we needed a band for her that would complement her existing ring and we figured it was only fair to spend the same for me Again, if we needed something to go with a significantly smaller ring, we probably would have spent a lot less.
Underwater shot from our honeymoon
Last edited by GTiTOM; 12-19-2011 at 03:09 PM.
My wife thinks there's some crazy rule about the wedding ring being 3 months of my salary.
As highschool sweethearts, I gave her a 500 dollar promise ring 10 years ago, a new ring when we were engaged 5 years ago, and another ring on the wedding day. She didn't get to see it until the ring-bearer brought it to her. For 15,000 dollars, she'd better like the damn thing. It took me 3 hours to pick out. 3 hours!
First of all, it bears re-iterating that the 3-month salary "rule" was created by the diamond industry for obvious reasons. 3-month salary would've been absolutely ridiculous and my wife would've been appalled since it would've been so excessively unneccesary. Granted, I did spend a very decent amount on her engagement ring as well as wedding ring. At the end of the day, she still decribes her engagement ring as "perfect" and that's all that matters.
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A) It's symbolic in that you are asking for her hand in marriage
B) If she truly loves you and truly wants to be with you forever, she could/should care less if you put an onion ring on her finger, she would still marry you.
C) All of that money spent on a ring could be used for better purposes (someone said they dropped $15K above - good for them, but that makes me want to go crawl into bed and start crying ). It becomes bragging rights for her to start doing the whole "the hand enters the room before she does" bling bling thing. All of her friends can look at it and go "oooooo, isn't she lucky? She bagged herself a Mr. Moneybags! Good for her!"
D) It supposedly needing to cost 1-3 months salary, who do you think came up with that? The same people that came up with Valentines Day and other holidays where you are now obligated, regardless of how much money you make, to go out and buy stuff.
Again, we spent about $500 for both of our matching wedding rings that were custom made by an artist that we met at an art festival. I think I paid something like $375 for the engagement ring at a shop I found in the middle of nowhere that was going out of business. I think it was like $1800 regular price.
It's all subjective - if you've got the dough to throw around and dropping tens of thousands of dollars on a ring is "normal", who am I to say anything? It's just like all the people I pass daily in their Bentley's, Ferrari, Lotus, and high end BMW and Audi cars - if someone can comfortably drop $80K - $150K on a car and think nothing of it, even though it makes me cry because I can barely put food on the table now, who am I to judge? All I'm saying is that if the woman truly loves you and wants to be with you, the dollar amount should absolutely NOT matter and if you put a plastic ring on her finger out of a vending machine, she would still love you. Again, my personal opinion
It doesn't matter how much he spends. I know that he can't afford to save 3 months salary to buy a ring. I don't want him to either. I'd rather he finish his cabby, or vrt.
It really is the fact that he thought about the rest of his life, and wants me to be a part of it. That is all I need to be happy to be his wife.
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PS. My wife was happy with fact that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her as well, and didn't really give a crap about the ring or the value. It pretty much sealed the deal.
If she came at me with "how much" or Materialist BS, I wouldn't probably broke up with her right on the spot.
She knows what financial situation we are in and what I can afford etc.
My brother and his wife purchased tungsten rings off Amazon. Looks sort of like platinum, stupid durable, and not overly expensive. Sure they're a bit plain, but they do the job and they're both satisfied with them. His best friend also did the same, though he could have plunked down a ton on a "real" ring. Heh.
There are many types of Wedding and Engagement rings designed especially to serve the purpose.These are available at various models and at various prices. Some of them are available for low costs where as the others are very expensive. The Diamonds serves better for the purpose. The best collection of Engagement and Wedding ring settings with styles are available in many of the jewelery shops and their details can be viewed through the websites.
OTOH, I have a buddy who's wife wasn't really all that interested in diamonds or anything fancy and he got some type of relatively inexpensive gemstone engagement ring custom made. Another buddy didn't consult with his wife at all and just winged the whole thing because he knew she'd be happy with whatever he picked out. Obviously, since both of my friends are married, their situations worked out for them. But I'm not sure either situation would work for me.
Though I also have a deal with the potentially future wife that whatever I spend on an engagement ring will be similar to what she'll spend on a watch for me as her wedding gift. So in my situation, there is some motivation for me to not totally cheap out (which I tend to do in most areas of life), as I really like watches.
Haven't gotten to the wedding band part just yet though. My suspicion is that the wedding band will be something we do together, especially since I want something a little different and I'm sure she has her own thoughts.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Engagement_ringThe idea that a man should spend a significant fraction of his annual income for an engagement ring originated de novo from De Beers marketing materials in the early 20th century, in an effort to increase the sale of diamonds. In the 1930s, they suggested that a man should spend the equivalent of one month's income in the engagement ring; later they suggested that he should spend two months' income on it. In 2007, the average cost of an engagement ring in USA as reported by the industry was US$2,100.
I spent $1300 on my wife's engagement ring back in 2000. It's just under half a karat but she always gets compliments on how good it looks.
Diamonique. It's fake but looks as real as real can be, and no one lost an arm trying to get at it.
I didn't get an engagement ring since we were never really engaged. I picked out our wedding bands from Etsy, they are Tungsten and have custom engraving on the inside and they were both under $100. Our lives are not in a place where we could justify something like pricey jewelry. He has promissed me a rock for our 5 year reconsideration ceremony .
x2. My hubby and I were together for almost 6 1/2 years when we got engaged. We were basically just waiting to finish college. We had looked at rings together and even though I loved a few that were $1k+, I thought it was just silly to spend so much money on a ring. Its more of a symbol. So for me, I wanted something different. Nothing huge and flashy. I wanted color. He ended up choosing a band with diamonds and blue sapphires and I absolutely love it. When we bought our wedding rings, I made sure that my wedding band complimented the engagement ring first and foremost. Its a band with smaller diamonds so it looks similar but sets the sapphires off well. He made the best choice, IMO. We went through a lot to get to the point of getting engaged so it meant more that he was ready to make the commitment to me. We have better things to spend money on
Though I will say I wouldn't mind a slightly flashier ring in a few years, but still not the norm. I would love the other ring he was looking at for me...3 stone with the blue sapphire in the center, diamonds on the sides. But I don't expect it anytime soon. We bought a house in the fall...much better