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Found out she was a transvestite. It was devastating at first, but I got her the surgery and now we are both much happier...

163K views 669 replies 153 participants last post by  thegoose 
#1 · (Edited)
So TCLr's, lemme tell you how this transvestite love story goes...

Right around this time of year in 2008, I was going about my usual business of messing around with cars when I came across an old Porsche for sale. As it turns out, a friend of mine knew the owner from the track and P-Club events. My friend went on to tell me that the car is a lightweight 911 that seemed to be exceptionally quick for a MFI 2.7. Having always regreted selling my old Carrera, my interest was immediately piqued.

I inquired about the car and the owner explained to me that it was a rare, "factory sun roof-delete car" with a nice exhaust and some weight saving mods. I don't like my cars to be any other color than black and this car was white, so I wasn't really that interested. The owner however, offered to take me for a ride in the car. Thinking me a serious buyer, he even offered to let me take it for a spin. Next day, I was there with bells and whistles on.

Since I'm not really into white cars, I had it in my mind that this intimate encounter with the car was strictly for fun and that it wasn't gonna be no long term relationship, lol! Needless to say, I was wrong. After just once around the block, I fell in love and bought the car.

(Edit) This is a pic of the actual car.


I was in heaven! This was sheer bliss! The sound of the air-cooled motor above 5k rpm's! ... the thrill of a light weight 911!... The feeling of that old torsion bar suspension as it sets up to launch the car out of a turn!!... This was TRUE love. :heart::heart::heart: I felt like I was driving a real '73 RS on the way to work every day. Even though the car had no A/C, I was happy!.. oh so very happy to drive her every single day. We sure had some hot, sweaty times in the summer.. but she was my girl. All she needed was a coat of black paint, and she'd be perfect. Sometime in 2009, I took her to the body shop to get that paint job. Nothing was ever the same again.

An astute mechanic noticed that the car was not a "rare, factory sun roof- delete" car, but it was actually a 1976 Porsche 912. :eek::confused::eek::(:(:(

.......:sly::sly::what::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

........:(:(:(:(:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::(:(:(:(:(:(

I was duped! Bamboozled!! This was no rare Porsche!! It wsn't even a 911!! It was an imposter!!! A transvestite !!! A 911 wannabe!! It was nothing more than the ultimate un-sleeper!! A bastard, red-headed stepchild of a car, playing dress up!! (vestis= latin for dress / clothes).
 
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#2 · (Edited)
If you're a 912 purist, I apologize for my remarks. I know the 912 won the European Rally Championship for series touring cars, but c'mon! It's a little weak and you know it.

The only reason Porsche brought the 912 back from the dead after having discontinued it, was to have a smooth transition in entry level cars. As they were phasing out the 914, they needed a replacement car until the 924 could be offered to the public. In fact, the 912 was replaced by the 914 and discontinued for 6 years.

It's only in 1976 that Porsche re-introduced it for a year, while the 914 was on it's way out and the 924 was not yet ready to replace it. They brought it back after throwing it away, just to use it like a whore. Poor 912. No love.



A 912! How could this be??? The title even said 911!! :what::sly:

...It seems the car was mis-titled sometime during its history of previous owners. Even the DMV thought it was a 911. :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

.....:(:(:(:( I felt like the damn guy from the crying game.

...Here's where the story turns, and love prevails:

Rather than to get rid of her, I decided to stay the course and make the best of this less than perfect relationship. I decided to make the car into what IMO the car always longed to be. Can a car long to be something if it's not alive? Yes it can! ...In so much as every Porsche has a "soul". This one has the soul of the '73 RS.




Here's what I did....
 
#83 ·
A 912! How could this be??? The title even said 911!! :what::sly:

...It seems the car was mis-titled sometime during its history of previous owners. Even the DMV thought it was a 911. :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:
The DMV doesn't put too much thought into titling cars. At some point, my E21 became a 32i and even though I corrected it when transferring the title into my name, they just put the "old" model in the field. I don't think they care.

Cool thread. I'd like to see this go around the track against your SX4 at some point. :laugh:
 
#5 ·
#6 · (Edited)
I'm looking for the pics of the long nose conversion. It's fantastic body work. If I find them, I'll put 'em up.

The (fiberglass) front bumper is super light. I can pick it up by 2 fingers on one hand. The fenders are also extremely light.




In 1976, the 912's body was completely identical to the 911. This was a sort of cheap and dirty way to get a 911... buy a used 912 and put the flat six in it.. voilla!!! ... Poor man's 911, so to speak! The absense of a sunroof (which, including the mechanism, weighs like 90lbs btw) made this car a great performer when paired with the 911 engine.

Unfortunately, I failed to realize that the '73 RS had wider fender flares than the '76 911/12, so we're going to have to go back now and weld on some proper RS flares. Many people who build '73 RS clones/ tribute cars use the Carrera SC flares. I believe they're actually different than the SC flares (but not sure), so I'll have to deal with that later.



The good news is that Porsche offers these flares new. They started remanufacturing them, so I can actually buy '73 RS OEM steel flares. Perhaps they did this in response to the "Clone Wars"... '73 RS clones have been gaining popularity over the years. Look at the Singer 911.

For now, she finally has the beautiful black paint and one hell of a nose job!!
 
#8 ·
First full year of galvanized Porsche bodies too.
 
#14 ·
OK, last time I'll campaign for this, then I shall shut the feck up. I just love these engines so much....similar power levels to the 2.7L six minus 100lbs. over the rear axle. Utterly indestructable too. Slobber.....

http://www.polomotor.com/the-930-4-motor-kit.html
 
#17 ·
Hold that thought for a sec... I'm gonna get myself another beer, then post a few more pics, ...and then I'm going to address exactly the issue you bring up, because it's an important point. I like where your head is at! We think alike! :thumbup:

...but I've got a little somethin else in mind.
 
#19 · (Edited)
When the title says 911, it's easy to mistake the car for...well.. a 911.

The owner before me was equally ignorant of the car's dubious history. Even the DMV was bamboozled (not that that's hard to do because they're idiots)!

Looked like a 911. Drove like a 911. Owner said 911. Title said 911!

It's clear that this car has been living a lie for a long time. It's time to make it right!
 
#22 · (Edited)
The title says 911 !

Not sure who made the fenders, but the kit was purchased through ProtoSport in NJ. They are the ones building the car.

I've seen some nice 964 based retro mods. Greatest A/C you can get in a '73 RS clone. Lots of technology. AWD option too. Good choice! Too heavy for me, though.

I want to really capture the spirit of the '73 RS, so we're on a real diet!
 
#27 · (Edited)
Well, you know I hate to disappoint....

OK, last time I'll campaign for this, then I shall shut the feck up. I just love these engines so much....similar power levels to the 2.7L six minus 100lbs. over the rear axle. Utterly indestructable too. Slobber.....
Which is why I bring you this... my answer to what ought to go under the bonnet:







..as you can tell from the SX4 thread, I'm going through an Orange phase right now :rolleyes:
(my version of) Signal Orange!



It's the last and best of the air-cooled engines. The 993 series. The pinnacle of Porsche's air-cooled technology. With a simple ECU reflash and a nice exhaust, this lump will make a solid 300 peak hp at the crank on regular gas, and more bottom end torque than a 3.8 (because Vario Ram manifold)! Dead-solid reliable. Almost bulletproof!
 
#33 ·
Now at this point, you might be thinking G50 gearbox.

Remember, we're on a diet.

The old 915 gearbox is 50 lbs lighter.

Sure, the G50 is better, stronger, etc, but I've mentioned in other threads that I've personally seen turbocharged 911's making upwards of 350-400 hp use the old 915 gearbox. Guys who go to the track love mating the 915 to newer, more powerful cars and they run with no issue whatsoever.

There's no doubt the 915 can handle the power of a NA 993 motor, but mating it up with a clutch and flywheel requires some skill. ProtoSport is fantastic with custom fab. They're my go to guys for Porsche, and their workmanship is outstanding. They're part of the company Protomotive, who's claim to fame is their ability to get their aftermarket TT sytems to work with the factory Bosche Motronic system. They were one of the first.. if not THE first. They've been in the game for a long time and build some mean-ass twin turbo Porsches. They are by far, the fastest Porsches I have ever been in or driven.

http://www.protosportinc.com/services.htm

http://www.protomotive.com/home.html
 
#40 ·
Sure, the G50 is better, stronger, etc, but I've mentioned in other threads that I've personally seen turbocharged 911's making upwards of 350-400 hp use the old 915 gearbox. Guys who go to the track love mating the 915 to newer, more powerful cars and they run with no issue whatsoever.
Are you updating the trans at all for the extra torque or just hoping for the best?
 
#34 · (Edited)
Now enter the "real" tranny of the thread:


This is no ordinary 915 gearbox. These are harder to come by over here in the states. This is a Euro-spec 915 gearbox. What makes it different? The LSD!

915 gearboxes over here did not come equipped with limited slip diff, as far as I know.

Additionally, the gearing is a little different, with 5th being an extra tall gear compared to gears 1-4.

If there are any P-car trans experts, please shed some light on this for me. Thanks. :snowcool:

Here's a vid of the LSD in action... sort of :rolleyes::

 
#35 · (Edited)
So it all adds up, you see!?? ...or rather subtracts down ...

...the weight. 50 lbs here with the trans, 80+ lbs there with the absense of a sunroof, lots of composite body parts, etc...

You might be wondering then, what's holding me back?

These:




Porsche Boxster brakes (front). Plenty of stopping power for what this car will weigh.

Much, much, much, much, much lighter than what was on there, and immensely more powerful.

So, how light is light???





The diet.. it's working.
 
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