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    Thread: Have you ever redated your Ex:

    1. Member Espresso's Avatar
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      12-19-2011 01:18 AM #1
      Well to sum it up i'm dating a Ex of mine we're together two years. She broke it off had a rebound for five months I cut off all ties during that time no communicado. Rebound didn't work out contacted me a week after that happened. I did the Jesus thing with "forgiving" now we are together again after almost three months.

      Now in your experiences can dating a Ex work or is it doomed to fail again.

      Also I have been lurking the forums for years never made a account.

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      12-19-2011 05:22 AM #2
      It's been doomed the two times I've done it. One was my highschool sweetheart, her and I wanted vastly different things after school, broke up, kept sleeping together, got technically back together and broke up again a week later. That one was really done and we tried to make it work again.

      The other, I dated this girl for a couple months, no part of it outside of the sex was particularly good for us, relationship was basically built on lots of sloppy drunken f-ing. Knew it wasn't gonna work but wasn't (And probably wouldn't if she knocked on my door right now) going to kick her fine ass outta bed so I rode that one till the wheels fell off.

      Your mileage may vary greatly but generally you break up with someone for a reason. I'm watching a good buddy of mine do this right now. His situation was basically he was a drunken prick and really immature about things and she got tired of it after a while. He'd admit all the time that he wanted her back, he knew he screwed up etc... but he's not lost any of the bad habits he picked up in the few months they were apart so I think that for him as well, it's destined for failure.
      It may be slow, but at least it's ugly!

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      12-19-2011 09:17 AM #3
      Well, I don't know about the whole Jesus thing with forgiveness, you should do it for yourself, but if that's what it takes... If there is a real forgiveness and you can come to grips with it, then it might work.

      I think most of the time when people get together with an ex and it works, it isn't because one of the people cheated, but rather it just not being the right time. That's what happened with me and my wife. We were together for a couple of years in our early 20s and I was in no way ready to be tied down. We stayed in touch over the years and then around 28 or so, gave it a go again and have been happily married for almost 7 years now. When you throw in a cheating angle, it adds a lot of complexity and feelings that seem to hide in the dark corners of the mind.

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      12-19-2011 11:24 AM #4
      My advice is with the wrong mindset, but I hold too many grudges and am too stubborn so the experience I have had wasn't good. My view is that if I wasn't enough the first time around and you wanted to test the waters and found out I was good enough....then FO.

      There are obvious benefits to be had but that is the extent of where I would go with it.
      Th(e/a)n

    5. Member hi_racing's Avatar
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      12-19-2011 12:04 PM #5
      Yup. Was engaged to my (now) wife for a few months when her ex (and first child's father) made a push to get back in her life. She wanted to give him a chance so she called off the engagement and gave the ring back. I told her I'd never ask her to marry me again but we'd stay in touch.

      Her ex remained the choad he'd always been. About a month later she came over to my house, said she'd made a mistake, dropped to one knee and asked me to marry her. I forgave her, said yes and put the ring back on her finger. That was 9 years ago - we're still together and have been married 7 years. We have a 3 year old and a new baby on the way in August.

      Wish you luck!
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      12-19-2011 03:34 PM #6
      Yes. Plenty of times. Plenty of different ex's. But I'm married now, and in hindsight I dated some crazies.

    7. Member scandalous_cynce's Avatar
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      12-19-2011 06:36 PM #7
      Yeah, I've re-dated a couple of my ex's but none of them ever worked out long term.

      I think what happens is you already feel comfortable with that person so you dont have to go through the awkwardness of first getting to know someone. Over the time you guys are apart, you start to forget about the bad things and reminisce about the good until you convince yourself "it can work this time." Then you get back together and you're pleasantly reminded about all the things that drove you apart in the first place.

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      12-19-2011 08:03 PM #8
      ^ Agreed.


      And whenever you break up and get back together in a short amount of time (days/weeks/months later versus years) when someone has slept with someone else, it seems to just cause a bunch of problems, imo.

    9. Member Spell Check Desk's Avatar
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      12-19-2011 08:46 PM #9
      Yup.

      We were together for almost seven years. He cheated and left me for the woman he cheated with.

      A year later, he wants to try again. It lasted a month, I caught him (surprise!) cheating.

      I later found out that the WHOLE TIME we were together, he was the town bicycle.

      And people wonder why I am such a cynic with trust issues now.......

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      12-20-2011 01:25 AM #10
      Quote Originally Posted by Spell Check Desk View Post
      Yup.

      We were together for almost seven years. He cheated and left me for the woman he cheated with.

      A year later, he wants to try again. It lasted a month, I caught him (surprise!) cheating.

      I later found out that the WHOLE TIME we were together, he was the town bicycle.

      And people wonder why I am such a cynic with trust issues now.......
      Once a cheater, always a cheater... I used to think different and I'm sure there's exceptions out there, but I haven't met one yet.

      The 2nd ex I mentioned, her and I slept together for a month while she was supposedly with the boyfriend before me. I was naive enough to think, "Well, that guy was an *******, she won't do that to me..." and AFAIK, she never did cheat on me. She start dating one of my friends 2 days after we broke up... and cheated on him with me a couple weeks after they got together. Had it not been me it would have been the guy I drug her away from at the party we went to together. Ironically enough I stepped in because I got tired of him accusing us of sleeping together and it never did happen aside from that night.
      It may be slow, but at least it's ugly!

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      12-20-2011 02:39 PM #11
      No, and I've only kept brief communications with one. Saw her and she started crying so I put an end to that.

      Only new pu$$y is worth that kind of drama.

    12. Member BlckBadged_SwissChee's Avatar
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      12-21-2011 03:51 PM #12
      Quote Originally Posted by smittyATL View Post
      Only new pu$$y is worth that kind of drama.

      Th(e/a)n

    13. Member Spell Check Desk's Avatar
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      12-21-2011 09:02 PM #13
      Quote Originally Posted by Trike Kid View Post
      Once a cheater, always a cheater... I used to think different and I'm sure there's exceptions out there, but I haven't met one yet.
      I'm of the same school of thought. He said he had reformed his ways when we tried a second time.....nope.

      His excuse? He said he was making up for lost time because he was married for 24 years. What. Ever. Douchebag.

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      12-22-2011 07:55 AM #14
      Quote Originally Posted by Spell Check Desk View Post
      I'm of the same school of thought. He said he had reformed his ways when we tried a second time.....nope.

      His excuse? He said he was making up for lost time because he was married for 24 years. What. Ever. Douchebag.
      Yeah she claims she's changed a bunch, and she has, got a good job and moved out of her parents' house and all that. But she still drinks far more than she can handle (anything more than 3 beers, is far more than she can handle). Her new boyfriend is in the military (he's 26, she's 18), he just deployed, I can't say I think she'll make it without screwing up.

      I checked her facebook the other night cause I was drunk and bored, first status I read was something about "ooopps, ****, now what do I do". I'm sure I'll hear all about it if she ever decides to pay me back the money she owes me.
      It may be slow, but at least it's ugly!

    15. 12-22-2011 09:38 AM #15
      No amount of travel down the wrong path leads to the right place.

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      01-04-2012 05:55 PM #16
      Current (and only) wife was an "ex" 8 years ago. As said before, I think it depends on the reason you two broke up. For us it was timing and my "maturity" level. Waited two years and tried again and we'll be married 7 years in March.
      "Never attribute to maliciousness that which can be attributed to stupidity."

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      01-05-2012 02:58 PM #17
      Failed miserably the one time I did it. We dated for a couple years then broke up because she was mental. She called me up a year later out of the blue to meet for coffee. She said it had been long enough that we ought to be able to be friends and I bought it.

      I forgot about all the crazy and just remembered the fun times we had and got sucked back into a relationship. Within a few months we moved in together. Within two years we were engaged. Another six months and I was outta there.

      I haven't looked back but she emailed me upon hearing from her dental hygienist (we went to the same dentist) that I had married. My wife insisted she was testing the waters to see if I was game for a third run. I didn't believe her until we googled the ex and found she had moved from the S.F. Valley to a town five miles from us - an area of the city she flat refused to consider living in when we were together.

    18. 01-05-2012 03:47 PM #18
      I dated a girl for a few months, she ended up being crazy so we broke up, I went on a killing spree for about 5 months (), then out of the blue one day she got in touch with me apologizing up and down. We met up for a drink and shortly after got back together for almost a year and a half. She was a much better person that time around. Things were great, 10x better than round 1, but in the end the crazy came rearing its ugly head again and we broke up for good. Been incommunicado ever since. It was great while it lasted but it's even better that we're no longer together.

    19. Member Ryan D's Avatar
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      01-05-2012 04:21 PM #19
      Nope.

      I've had two other serious relationships plus the one I'm in now.

      The first I dated for about a year and a half. We started dating towards the end of my senior year of high school (she was a year older). I decided to go to the same community college that she was currently attending instead of the one that was closer to us so we ended up spending the majority of our time together. Things didn't work out between us and I ended up transferring to the closer community college. We did the whole "let's just sleep together but not be together" for almost a month after breaking up and after all of that we remained actual friends for quite awhile. She was working at a 24 Hour Fitness and I was in there nearly every night playing basketball and we would talk each time. Eventually she started dating another guy who she ended up marrying and we just sort of stopped talking as much and eventually landed where we are now with no contact.

      The second girl was beyond crazy at the end of our 2 year relationship. Granted, we were young (21ish at the time) and I didn't always treat her like I should have. I'd ignore her to go out to the bar with friends, etc. Anyhow, we lived about an hour apart and would only see each other on weekends. After we broke up she wanted to hang out so she drove out to my house and we hung out and ended up sleeping together. Shortly after, out of the blue, she just started to ignore me. Wouldn't respond to texts, E-mails, phone calls, blocked me on every internet outlet you can think of. I was caught off guard but wasn't devastated because she was the one who wanted to remain friends. About three or four months later I get a text from her saying that she had something to tell me but didn't know how. A couple days after that I got an E-mail from her in which she proceeded to tell me that she was pregnant and that she was going to have the baby but I was not to be involved at all and that she was moving up north with her parents. Then months after that she E-mailed me again saying that it was just a prank that her friends convinced her to play on me.

      I'm from the school of thought that if you broke up once there was a valid reason and a second go around will end up the same way. Clearly there are exceptions to this but if I were considering dating an ex again it would all come down to why we broke up the first time.

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      01-11-2012 08:14 AM #20
      So OP's girl broke up with him to get some other dick and now that she is sick of it you will take her back with open arms?

      Get used to tasting other dick in your mouth.


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      01-11-2012 10:16 AM #21
      Keep your kid off of your account Chaos.

    22. Member Deserion's Avatar
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      01-11-2012 10:41 PM #22
      It entirely depends on you, and said ex.

      I'm back together with an ex. We've been back together for about 5 months now. We started dating in 2006, he dumped me in 2007, went through some rough patches for a while, then got back to being best friends again for a few years, and now this. Took a lot of talking over the years, but things are working out very well, and fairly smoothly. There are a few hiccups here and there but they've all been resolved.

    23. 01-12-2012 12:27 AM #23
      I re-dated my ex. We dated for several months. Broke up. Got back together after a couple of weeks. Worked things out. We've been married for 15 years now.

    24. Member sharonb2010's Avatar
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      01-14-2012 10:18 PM #24
      Quote Originally Posted by dr_spock View Post
      I re-dated my ex. We dated for several months. Broke up. Got back together after a couple of weeks. Worked things out. We've been married for 15 years now.
      I really think it just depends on you and the other person. Dated a guy for 5 years, he proposed. Cheated on me two months AFTER giving me the ring. I broke it off, and after 9 months decided to go back to him. Got married, bought a house and 2 years after saying "I do"...I caught him cheating on me. We're divorced now.
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      01-16-2012 11:00 AM #25
      Quote Originally Posted by sharonb2010 View Post
      I really think it just depends on you and the other person. Dated a guy for 5 years, he proposed. Cheated on me two months AFTER giving me the ring. I broke it off, and after 9 months decided to go back to him. Got married, bought a house and 2 years after saying "I do"...I caught him cheating on me. We're divorced now.
      Sounds like you paved your own road there.

      Sucks though, sorry to hear.

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      01-16-2012 12:31 PM #26


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      01-18-2012 04:50 PM #27
      Quote Originally Posted by VdubChaos View Post
      Sounds like you paved your own road there.

      Sucks though, sorry to hear.
      Hindsight is spectacular. We band aided our problems, and brushed aside some issues we shouldn't have.
      I hope I've learned enough to be a better person, and to not make the same mistakes again. Because the other person isn't always the only asshat in a relationship.

      I have friends who have worked through cheating, break ups, times apart etc. It all depends on the two people involved. I wish the OP the very best in the relationship department!
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      01-22-2012 07:05 PM #28
      Dated a girl in early highschool, we broke up after about 7 months of dating. She hated me for 7 years, never talked after we broke up. I think she was mad I broke up with her We saw eachother at a mutual friends party 1yr ago and she perused me like a dog does treats. I finally gave in to date her again and we have been going strong ever since. We have our differences like most couples but we are happy.

      We have our first minion on the way, crazy how things work out. She says we're kind of like the notebook movie. Love the girl, and the fact that she somewhat puts up with my Vw obsession.

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      02-04-2012 12:25 AM #29
      My first kiss is my now husband. We met when we were 10 yrs old. Dated in high school and I broke up with him because I was 15 and not ready for a boyfriend. Went to college, got married then divorced then moved across the country and found each other at the age of 27.

      Got married a year and a half later and have been married for just over three years. We adopted our son last year and he is my best friend, worst enemy, and savior all in one. We are both 31 now.

      I realized when we were younger it just wasn't the best time for us being so young and I think all the years between taught us both something valuable that we cherish.
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    30. Member kevin splits's Avatar
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      02-20-2012 11:45 AM #30
      Quote Originally Posted by VdubGoddess View Post
      My first kiss is my now husband. We met when we were 10 yrs old. Dated in high school and I broke up with him because I was 15 and not ready for a boyfriend. Went to college, got married then divorced then moved across the country and found each other at the age of 27.

      Got married a year and a half later and have been married for just over three years. We adopted our son last year and he is my best friend, worst enemy, and savior all in one. We are both 31 now.

      I realized when we were younger it just wasn't the best time for us being so young and I think all the years between taught us both something valuable that we cherish.
      Kinda the same thing for me right now. I'm 23, so young yes, but I own my own business, grew up fast you can say. 4.5 years ago I met the girl I knew I wanted to marry. I had just graduated high school and I met her at a friends birthday party. She was a senior, we hit if off dated for a year. Shortly after her graduation her parents were pushing her to go to school, and telling her there are better things in life than me. Long story short I cut it off with her to give her a chance to do something with her life. I've thought about her every day for the past 3 years. I finally contacted her 4 months ago, and we are back together better than before. She still resents me for what I did, and still refuses to believe why I did it, but we're both grateful to be with one another again, and are talking about marriage, and I just bought a house for us. I can also honestly say she didnt take me back for the money, as she thinks I just work at my business, not own it. As selfish as it may seem, it shows me she actually wants me for me not my money which is great.
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      02-20-2012 12:43 PM #31
      Quote Originally Posted by kevin FaKiN spLits View Post
      . She still resents me for what I did, and still refuses to believe why I did it, but we're both grateful to be with one another again, and are talking about marriage, and I just bought a house for us..


      Quote Originally Posted by kevin FaKiN spLits View Post
      I can also honestly say she didnt take me back for the money, as she thinks I just work at my business, not own it. As selfish as it may seem, it shows me she actually wants me for me not my money which is great.

    32. Member kevin splits's Avatar
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      02-20-2012 01:22 PM #32
      Quote Originally Posted by VdubChaos View Post




      The house was for me, she is just welcome to live there. I was in works on that before we started a relationship again. Lol.
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      02-20-2012 01:42 PM #33
      Should've kept that to yourself if you are concerned about gold diggers.

      It's not rocket science spotting wealth.

      But it is almost like rocket science to hide it (ok maybe not rocket science, but it is hard).

      If you want to find real love, rent an apartment and drive a 5 year old Camry.....once you find someone, give it at least 2 years.


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      02-20-2012 02:05 PM #34
      Quote Originally Posted by VdubChaos View Post
      Should've kept that to yourself if you are concerned about gold diggers.

      It's not rocket science spotting wealth.

      But it is almost like rocket science to hide it (ok maybe not rocket science, but it is hard).

      If you want to find real love, rent an apartment and drive a 5 year old Camry.....once you find someone, give it at least 2 years.

      Not worried about gold digging. Its just a plus to know that isn't the case. Cool thing is I worked for the franchise I now own, when we dated before and drive the same mkv I had then, and actually I pay myself the same, the rest of the money goes to a business account. I'll be smooth about it when I tell her. I'll say so the owner wants to sell me the store I'm gonna buy it and boom she's in the know. I don't live out of my means on purpose! I want to be set for a life time when I don't want to work anymore.
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      02-20-2012 05:15 PM #35
      Quote Originally Posted by Spell Check Desk View Post
      I'm of the same school of thought. He said he had reformed his ways when we tried a second time.....nope.

      His excuse? He said he was making up for lost time because he was married for 24 years. What. Ever. Douchebag.
      I hate to say I understand his line of thinking .....

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