Newborn Babies: Crib-Sleeping or Co-Sleeping?

[woofster]

Just wondering what you guys did with your newborns as far as sleeping goes? I know there are very split opinions on this topic. Below is an article I found online discussing this very issue: http://www.parenting.com/article/cri...eping?page=0,0

Crib-Sleeping Vs. Co-Sleeping
Where does your baby spend the night?
By Patty Onderko

The second most-dreaded question for new parents after "Is your baby sleeping?" (Answer: "Well, yes, for forty-five-minute stretches, but not during the night, and only after I conduct a two-hour-long routine including feeding, swaddling, singing, rocking, and an ancient tribal sleep dance") is "Where does he sleep?" That's because the response is usually just as complicated and the people who ask are often ready to pass judgment on it. At least, that's what more than 6,000 of you told us in our national survey about sleep habits, in which we set out to determine the differences between parents who put their babies down to sleep at night in a crib (for convenience's sake, we're calling them "crib-sleepers") and those who share a family bed with their children (co-sleepers). Here, an illuminating peek into the night lives of new families:

"Now, That's Crazy!"

When we were creating this survey, we imagined a giant pillow fight, with moms on one side of the bed yelling "Safety!" and a posse on the other shouting "Bonding!" And we did hear those battle cries: Nearly half of all crib-sleepers admitted that they think co-sleepers are "irresponsible" and that parents who share a family bed are "putting their baby's life at risk." Another 39 percent think that co-sleeping parents are spoiling their baby. "I know people who still have a three-year-old in bed with them because the kid won't sleep alone. Now, that's crazy!" exclaims Patty Queen, a mom of two in Marion, North Carolina. "Come on, people, you are only making it hard on the kids by keeping them in the bed with you." Another crib proponent, Esther Tune of Henderson, Nevada, considers co-sleeping to be "the easy option." "I never brought my kids into my bed -- even though it would have been easier. I believe they're safer in their own crib."

So what about the safety issue? In a 2005 policy statement, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) warned that bed-sharing was associated with an increase in sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) and strongly recommended against the practice. "There is no evidence that co-sleeping can be done safely," adds John Kattwinkel, M.D., chairperson of the AAP's Task Force on SIDS.

No wonder moms who co-sleep are twice as likely to feel judged compared with crib-sleepers. In their defense, co-sleepers cite the work of James McKenna, Ph.D., an anthropologist whose research shows SIDS rates to be lower in countries where co-sleeping is the norm, and the attachment-parenting theories of Babytalk contributing editor William Sears, M.D. (Both experts believe parents can -- and must -- co-sleep safely; see Askdrsears.com for guidelines.) In fact, co-sleepers were just as likely to choose their sleeping arrangement for safety reasons as crib-sleepers. And they also slung some arrows: 40 percent of moms who planned to co-sleep believe that parents who use a crib won't have as close a bond with their babies as they do; another 20 percent feel that crib-sleepers are "selfish" and "only thinking of their own sleep." "Babies grow up more secure when they sleep with their moms for the first year of their lives," contends Phasinee Brown of Kansas City, Kansas.

Giving Up Control

The majority of parents agreed, however, that in the quest for rest, one size does not fit all babies. "After having three children," Trenny Suggs of Spring Hill, Tennessee, told us, "I have learned that you have to do whatever is necessary to help your children sleep." And for many of you, that means changing your game plan. According to our results, only 11 percent of moms actually planned to co-sleep with their babies, but a whopping 42 percent ended up doing so once their little bundles arrived. "During my pregnancy, I studied controversial topics, such as co-sleeping, and thought I knew what I would do," shared one reader in California, who swore that she wouldn't co-sleep but now spends every night in bed with her 5-month-old daughter. "But children set their own schedules. I never understood that having a baby means giving up complete control."

The Perfect Sleep Solution

For all the stress that surrounds getting your baby to sleep, it's helpful to remember -- in a twisted sort of way, we admit -- that 51 percent of you report being tired all the time, regardless of whether your tot snoozes in a crib or in your bed. In other words, there's no right or wrong answer to that frustrating question "Where does your baby sleep?" As Jaclyn Petrin of Princeton, New Jersey, said, "I hope this survey helps parents understand that there is no perfect sleep solution. If there is, please let me know what it is." Sorry, Jaclyn, no such luck.

What Parents Say About...

Co-Sleeping:

"I had a natural birth, I breastfeed, my husband and I wear our baby, and we co-sleep. Our baby's needs are met." --Melissa Armstrong, Costa Mesa, CA
"There isn't anything sweeter than waking up to a baby all cuddled up next to you!" --Emily Payne, Bakersfield, CA
"Both of my children sleep in the bed with me. My spouse doesn't like that it gets in the way of our sex life, but I couldn't care less about that." --Lori Anderson, Camden, SC
"I feel safer feeling my baby's every little twitch and hearing her breathe next to me."--Garyn Johnson, Wasilla, AK
"When my husband was deployed, it felt better to have my daughter next to me." --Eva Stroup, Altus, OK

Crib-Sleeping:

"Nothing is better than the look on my son's face when his father and I enter his room to get him out of his crib after a long night's sleep." --Kelli Kudrick, Denver
"Our son doesn't have to hear us roll over, snore, or go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. And my husband and I like having the bedroom to ourselves so we can be husband and wife, not just baby caretakers!" --June Huff, Delaware, OH
"I wanted my kids to get used to their cribs so that they'd have one less transition to make, since there are so many transitions babies have to go through." --Donna Barber, Alexandria, VA
"My sister's kids are seven and eight and still sleep with her for half the night. I don't want that for my family." --Jenny Wohlrabe, Prescott Valley, AZ

[Papa Dras]

They both slept in a bassinet next to our bed for the first few months so my wife could reach over and breast feed. Then they moved into their crib in their own room.

I personally think that co sleeping is for hippies and people that are looking to create problems down the road. We have two friends and my wife's sister that all did this and now a year later can't break their kids from sleeping with them. They hate it. Kids need to sleep on their own when they can. /rant

[smittyATL]

They both slept in a bassinet next to our bed for the first few months so my wife could reach over and breast feed. Then they moved into their crib in their own room.

I personally think that co sleeping is for hippies and people that are looking to create problems down the road. We have two friends and my wife's sister that all did this and now a year later can't break their kids from sleeping with them. They hate it. Kids need to sleep on their own when they can. /rant

We did this with a co-sleeper bed for almost a year and a half--the time wife was breast feeding.

First kid cried her brains out for a few nights after we moved her to a crib, but got over it with the help of some closed doors and ear plugs (for the wife).

Second kid is three months and still co-sleeping with us.

[Papa Dras]

Funny, you are the very last person I would imagine being ok with co-sleeping.

[titleist1976]

Straight to the crib. Wife couldn't produce enough milk, so they were on the bottle anyways. We tried a bassinet, but they both hated it (must not be soft enough for their spoiled asses at 2 weeks old). So, down the hall they went. It was nice to get a few hours of sleep in here and there.

[smittyATL]

Funny, you are the very last person I would imagine being ok with co-sleeping.

That's what king size beds are for!

I cut infants a little slack because they're not even as smart as the dog yet. That all goes away around 1.5-2 years old. Then they have to start behaving like a human instead of an animal.

[Fahrbomb]

They both slept in a bassinet next to our bed for the first few months so my wife could reach over and breast feed. Then they moved into their crib in their own room.

I personally think that co sleeping is for hippies and people that are looking to create problems down the road. We have two friends and my wife's sister that all did this and now a year later can't break their kids from sleeping with them. They hate it. Kids need to sleep on their own when they can. /rant

We did the same with my son and will with the next one due in June. Everything else you said is spot on.

[firefighterjunkie]

I personally think that co sleeping is for hippies and people that are looking to create problems down the road. We have two friends and my wife's sister that all did this and now a year later can't break their kids from sleeping with them. They hate it. Kids need to sleep on their own when they can. /rant

I'm a crunchy/hippy mom here.

We co-slept for the first 8 weeks, and then I transitioned my daughter into the pack and play next to my side of the bed from ages 9-16 weeks and then into her crib from 16 weeks on (she's 22 weeks) No issues at all with the entire process. I would have kept her in the pack and play longer, but once she could roll, she started thrashing around and moving too much, and I didn't feel like it was safe anymore. I also don't do "cry it out" at her age (obviously that may change when she's older) and haven't had to. She absolutely loves her Fisher Price sea horse, so I put that in her crib with her during sleep times and she goes right to sleep with it. It's adorable.

I admit I tried the bassinet right away, but she cried and fussed a ton. I put her in the crook of my arm to sleep and she would sleep 4 hrs straight immediately after birth. She also started sleeping through the night at 3 weeks.

[Tornado2dr]

They both slept in a bassinet next to our bed for the first few months so my wife could reach over and breast feed. Then they moved into their crib in their own room.

I personally think that co sleeping is for hippies and people that are looking to create problems down the road. We have two friends and my wife's sister that all did this and now a year later can't break their kids from sleeping with them. They hate it. Kids need to sleep on their own when they can. /rant

I guess I am the only dumbass that clicked "other", but ^^^ is basically what we did. After about 2 months, our daughter was such a good eater and sleeper that night-time breastfeedings were quick, to the point, and back to bed (crib).

Everyone I know that started with a lot of co-sleeping had nothing but trouble, from angry moms and dads who never slept, to babies that don't sleep on their own at 3yo, to kids that can't make it a full night in their own bed at older ages.

Every night that our daughter spent more than feeding time in the bed with us was a night that I didn't sleep. I would either leave the room and sleep in another room or on the couch downstairs.
Personally, I think that in order to properly take care of the kid you must have at least a bit of quality sleep to yourself. I'm all for crying it out. If they've just been fed and changed, they are fine. They might crave physical touch. They might need to bond. But they aren't gonna get anything positive from mom and dad if mom and dad are pissed off and have poor judgement due to a severe lack of sleep.

[You are to blame]

Play pens for our twins in our rooms for 2 months then switched them to their own rooms. They were tiny and we were scared to death to be away from them so we had both in the same play pen for a couple of weeks then moved them to their own play pen until we eventually made the move to their own crib in their room after 2 months.

[Papa Dras]

I guess I am the only dumbass that clicked "other", but ^^^ is basically what we did. After about 2 months, our daughter was such a good eater and sleeper that night-time breastfeedings were quick, to the point, and back to bed (crib).

Our pediatrician told us early on with our first that the best thing we can do for our daughter and our marriage was to not "over parent" in the middle of the night. That was the best advice we could have ever received. If they wake up, let them cry for a bit because they usually will console themselves and go back to sleep (after 2-3 months old). If you need to feed them, do it and then lay them down.

[Tornado2dr]

Our pediatrician told us early on with our first that the best thing we can do for our daughter and our marriage was to not "over parent" in the middle of the night. That was the best advice we could have ever received. If they wake up, let them cry for a bit because they usually will console themselves and go back to sleep (after 2-3 months old). If you need to feed them, do it and then lay them down.

I think I equate the middle of the night stuff to driving after your eyelids droop and you start forgetting the last few miles - nothing BAD is going to happen if you just pull over and rest (put the kid in bed and go to bed yourself) but really bad things can happen if you keep going without a clear head.

My mother and my mil basically had similar things to say: "You have to teach them everything" Walking, Reading, Math ....life. Sleeping is a part of life. You have to teach them how to sleep.

It never occurred to me before then.

[sakigt]

Im 4.5 months along with my 1st and Ive been considering what we will do. After some talks with lots of different people and age groups it seems the way to go is to have the kid next to you for the first few months then transition to the crib when theyre older/not waking up as often.

I know, omgsh, its not 100% one way or the other. Funny how that works.

I stay in one position and wake up for a few seconds to switch positions so Id be fine cosleeping (My cats insisted on cosleeping with me until we gave them the boot ) but my husband Im not too sure about. He probably get the boot as well.

[Papa Dras]

If you have cats sleeping with you, I'm surprised you have a husband sleeping with you.

[patrikman]

Bassinet. He really doesn't like his crib. although he will be too big for the bassinet in a few months.

[20DYNAMITE07]

For both of ours, we kept a pack-n-play in our room for the first few months. By the third month our boys were in their own crib in their own room.

It worked out really well for us - but I know a few people that went the co-sleeping rout and they liked it too.

[cougar]

Boy #1 - Cosleeping: Boy wouldn't sleep on his own at first.
Boy #2 - Cribsleeping: Boy refused to sleep in our room, wanted to be on his own.

My advice? Play it by ear... you can plan all you want, but you can't predict what your kids are going to prefer

[FlashRedGLS1.8T]

Crib sleeping. No doubt.

[osiris]

Our daughter slept in a bassinet in our room for the first 5 months, never in the bed. We transitioned her out of the bassinet into a crib in her own room a few weeks ago, and that went very well.

Transitioning her away from sleeping swaddled is proving to be far more difficult. She had been sleeping through the night (8-10 hrs) and taking 3-4 naps of half to one hour during the day...without a swaddle she wakes up 5-6 times during the night and fusses for at least a few minutes before falling back asleep, and naps have been 20-30 minutes. She is far more cranky during the times she is awake in the last few days since we started breaking her of the swaddle because she isn't getting as much sleep or as good of quality sleep.

[Papa Dras]

One of our friends is dealing with the swaddling issue. I don't know how old your daughter is, but we ended up giving them some our largest sleep sacks and that helped for a couple months and then they transitioned into a heavier blanker so the kid knew there was something there.

[NoDubJustYet]

Our twins were in our room for about three months sleeping in a playpen that had two bassinets mounted across the top. They would sleep with us maybe once a week if they were having a rough night.

At three months they graduated to cribs in their own room. They couldn't be happier. They're nearly 21 months and haven't had any problems.

Mom and dad's room is just that...

[titleist1976]

Transitioning her away from sleeping swaddled is proving to be far more difficult. She had been sleeping through the night (8-10 hrs) and taking 3-4 naps of half to one hour during the day...without a swaddle she wakes up 5-6 times during the night and fusses for at least a few minutes before falling back asleep, and naps have been 20-30 minutes. She is far more cranky during the times she is awake in the last few days since we started breaking her of the swaddle because she isn't getting as much sleep or as good of quality sleep.

How old is she? It's not going to kill her to continue to swaddle her until she feels she doesn't need it anymore. It's not like she's 3 years old and needing to be swaddled. My wife was the one that more of "the time has come to stop (insert whatever) NOW" but really... whatever it is, isn't going to kill the kid to let her continue for another month or two. Soon enough, the blankets will be too small to swaddle them anyways.

[jnm2.0t]

So he was in a bassinet but was getting some reflux so he sleeps in his car seat now, it clips into the bassinet stand. I know it can cause more issues if he is bent awkwardly in it but he sleeps soundly there and wakes often in the bassinet, at least at night. During the day he seems fine in the bassinet.

[titleist1976]

My girls liked this little wedge thing when they were young, it'd keep the reflux in the right direction. It even had these little cushions on each side to keep them cozy.

[jnm2.0t]

My girls liked this little wedge thing when they were young, it'd keep the reflux in the right direction. It even had these little cushions on each side to keep them cozy.

I think those have been recalled... http://www.cpsc.gov/onsafety/2010/09...focation-risk/

[Papa Dras]

It's weird that we used a drop side crib and a sleep positioner thing like titleist and my kids are still around. We sure must have lucked out.

[rich!]

Bassinet in room for 2 weeks then crib in own room - lil guy was a mover from day one. (hated being swaddled too). with 2nd one coming - same plan but we'll see. hopefully #2 doesn't move as much.

[titleist1976]

I think those have been recalled... http://www.cpsc.gov/onsafety/2010/09...focation-risk/

It was more like this: Wedge.

It's weird that we used a drop side crib and a sleep positioner thing like titleist and my kids are still around. We sure must have lucked out.

[Tornado2dr]

One of our friends is dealing with the swaddling issue.

We never had to deal with this. Our daughter was breaking out of the swaddle her first night in the hospital. We had one nurse tell us "you have to do it like this, see?" and not 20 minutes later we were laughing our asses off because she broke right out of that blanket.

[woofster]

With our 4 month old son, we started swaddling him again and getting him accustomed to sleeping on his own. When he was a newborn, we used the swaddle very effectively and it worked like a charm. Eventually, we figured he was good and would be able to sleep without it so we did away with the swaddle at around 3 months or so. He gradually started getting more and more active, so much so that his arms and legs would flail around when he's trying to put himself to sleep, so alas, we've now gone back to helping him with a swaddle at night.

[salsanacho]

We co-sleep with our first child and would do the same with any future children. While I can see the benefits of reclaiming our bedroom, i also really enjoy snuggling with my child as we sleep. So it's not like cosleeping is that much of a bear.

Also, who know if crying it out is bad for the kid:

http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/cry...222400379.html

[Papa Dras]

How old is your kid?

[sortadelux]

Both our children slept in a bassinet for about 4 weeks then moved on to a seperate room. Neither slept in our bed. The few times we have co-slept in hotels their little karate-noris chops and kicks did not make for a peacefull nights rest.

[salsanacho]

How old is your kid?

3.5yo.

[cougar]

3.5yo.

You still sleep in the same bed as your 3.5 year old child?