If you ask me, it would've been tougher to keep marriage back then. They delt with some severe problems (starvation, REAL war, boomers, infiltration of drugs.....etc)
It's different, sure, but don't think they had it better cause that's not true.
to 'steal' from another thread. look at the bond formed between soldiers. those people start building a bond in boot as they are being torn down, and if they ever get deployed... the people they are there with almost become all part of the same person... when one is lost its almost as if someone just cut off your own arm.
So let's just agree that differences balance each other out. Is that fair?
And you would be VERY surprised how many marriages last from very young age.
This tests marriages like NOTHING previously.
BTW, using all caps doesn't make your point any more true. Still just an opinion.
I also think you are forgetting that back in the day women would get abused physically LOT more than now days. I doubt abuse can be topped by "legal system will hook me up" type of thinking.
Both Women and Men get married for companionship in their life. That's what marriage is about. Marriages have always been tested. They might be tested in different ways but in general test is still a test. Don't give me the "it's different" excuse.
Reason for higher divorce rates is pretty simple (there is many but this is probably the biggest). People used to take time to get to know each other before jumping into bed. People knew that it takes TIME to get to know SO. In general, most say it takes at least 2 years to really know someone.
We live in society of "if there is no sex by 2nd date it's over". It's all fun and games until you realize that by getting into Intimacy with someone you hardly know, you skip A LOT of steps that should be taken to recognize who the person is that you are sleeping with.
Then you get into the whole domino effect. People advance in relationships so fast now days. It used to take months/years to reach certain levels, now its weeks/months if not days.
What do you expect?
Trust me when I say this, there is a very good reason why people used to take their time. Most people now days are not willing to learn these "outdated"/old fashioned lessons.
Result: they learn the hard way
Assuming you are looking for a serious relationship, it is in your best interest to take your time and make sure you know exactly who the person is you are getting involved with. Time is the key here. Any new relationship makes people weak in their knees and exciting.
People tend to go with their feelings/heart vs use their brain.
It's like a business process. If you go from A to P, B-O will cause major havoc on whatever it is that you are trying to accomplish.
You can't deny the fact that women get the better end of the stick in divorce.
And this is from the first page of google, however reputable that is.
"Moreover, in some of the states where no-fault divorce was introduced, over 70 percent of the divorce filings were by women. Among college-educated couples, the percentage of divorces initiated by wives is a whopping 90 percent."
I'm not an actuary, but that looks like cause and effect to me. Women have more options, so women try to explore all those options and it's often not good enough.
And why should I trust you? Are 100 years old? GTFO with your know it all attitude. I can see why people call you out on your BS all the time. In my family, people got married quick and/or at a young age. They're all together. So YOU trust ME when I say that it doesn't matter.
Last edited by PolskiHetzen; 02-15-2012 at 02:35 PM.
Zawsze mozna czlowieka wziasc ze wsi, ale nigdy nie mozna wybic wsi z czlowieka.
I love it. first you ask me for a question. I give you my answer/opinion and all of the sudden I'm the "know it all".
My point was, that it doesn't matter how long you've known each other. If a you think the grass is greener on the other side, and you might get rewarded for trying, why stay and make what you have work? Or if you've known someone for years, why not go out and try some strange like all your friends did during their college years that you missed on because you're going out with you high school sweetheart? There is so little penalty for a failed marriage to a women, and sometimes reward. For men there is also very little penalty. 100 years ago, if there were no other 40 year divorcees you were going to be one lonely person. Not the case today.
Love the saying. Aren't you the one who isn't a fan of higher education?
Last edited by PolskiHetzen; 02-15-2012 at 03:33 PM.
Grass is freener?
Why not break the marriage for a piece of ass?
We are WORLD apart my friend. This is exactly the reason why so many marriages fail. People get caught up in "what our society" says.
You HAVE to go to collage. You HAVE to **** million people before you get married (cause you know that REALLY builds the foundation of a healthy relationship and all).
You say why not. I say why bother? You see, we are all different people. Your goal might be *****, mine is companionship/relationship and love.
Also, watching many people over the years chasing arse day in and day out really didn't help. Things they would do to accomplish their goal (to other people/friends and themselves) was rather pathetic (although fun to watch from sideline).
You starting to sound like TDE now (or current day Media). Take every little thing and blow it WAY out of proportion.
I think Education is the key to success and very important. But I don't like the current cost of it and how banks/Universities are using that against the general public to get rich.
Especially since Universities around the world are putting out better talent at fraction of the cost.
That sums it up.
Last edited by VdubChaos; 02-15-2012 at 03:58 PM.
Acutally shes not that bad her family and my family are the nuts.
And she views sex the same way I do actually, its just that I have 0 intrest in having sex with her ever again.
Shes an awesome person minus some minor things that before didnt bother me but when you relize its not getting better and the sex blows those minor things become major irritations, and they shouldn't at all.
I view her more like my sister or a close friend then anything else, she managed to friend zone herself in our marriage when she got fat, shes now has dropped 50 pds and in good shape for her size but I have 0 interest in her at all.
So the simple and dumb stuff set me off or set her off , and that sucks. Shes a great person to hang out with , go to the gym with , go to the movies with and thats it. She kicks ass as a cook, knows all them housemaker / wifey things, but ........ sex .
This is not something I just decided to do one day and , said hey ! Lets go **** my life up and someone elses I care about alot .
Theres not one time I dont think about when I am going to tell her this that I dont tear up .
We did have a conversation about 6 months ago that I wanted to spend less time with her since she does drive me nuts , but thats due to just simpley being tired of being around each other every single day. I realize now that due to a simple fact of I am tired of the no sex crap.
You want to be married to someone that you desire and you want the other person to desire you also just as much.
Would you want to be married to someone who doesnt desire you as much as you desire them ,do you want to married to someone who is actually all but creeped out / gross out by you kissing them.
If I was in the other side of it I would rather know honestly and let that other person go then force someone to be unhappy .
It sucks with out a doubt , since I still do care alot about her , I just dont care / love her enought to stay with her.
Sounds like you didn't/don't really love her. What does weight got to do with anything? If you love someone, weight, looks...whatever is irrelevant.
Weird, in one sentence you say you have no interest in having sex with her, but then you say "tired of no sex crap".
Which one is it? Why don't you want to have sex with her? Why doesn't she want to have sex with you?
This sounds like the core of the issue now. Not the "religion" thing.
Now we are getting somewhere.hehe
More you post, more I get a feeling that you just want to go out and F someone else.
Last edited by VdubChaos; 02-16-2012 at 09:39 AM.
So, in the end, it comes down to nothing but Chilledman needing to sow some oats. It sounds like she is actually a pretty kick ass wife and you just aren't attracted to her. That is a huge thing, but I'd think it over and make sure you aren't just in a phase before you go and screw it up. Every guy I know that is married gets into phases where they just aren't into their wives and are into everything else that walks. It's normal. What isn't normal is walking out on a marriage for it.
Make sure you aren't just thinking with your dick, because it rarely ever ends up like you think.