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    Thread: Seperation / Divorce

    1. Banned Chilledman's Avatar
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      04-16-2012 10:10 AM #201
      So found a place closer to work , wich is nice .

      Negative is a Single mom recently divorced with a 1 yr old kid ......

      At least shes in love with her neighbor so that will make it just alittle less wierd .

      Funny part its as if I found my long lost never born sister

      - She has some single hot friends .....

    2. Member H2oWerker's Avatar
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      04-17-2012 06:20 PM #202
      I had intended to post some insights(?) and feelings on the subject since I've been questioning many of the same issues for 5ish years. (I lost track of how long exactly) But after seeing what a bashfest this has become, and how many people have decided to belittle you and the situation you find yourself in. (not that they have ANY clue) I will be keeping my personal life to myself.


      Quote Originally Posted by Chilledman View Post
      Also do only mid 30's gay dudes rent rooms ?
      At least there well decorated houses.l
      No. Single straight men do (on rare occasion). The stoners and gamers live in filthy pig sties. While the single men seeking 'action' from prospective ladies live in CLEAN well decorated rooms/apartments/houses.

      The bathroom is especially important to ladies (not that you'd know from looking at theirs) and should be very well kept. You cannot have too much TP stored in the bathroom. Display an extra roll prominently on the toilet tank in a small basket w/ a few rolled-up wash cloths.

      No magazines/mail/digital entertainment should be left in the open at any time anywhere in your dwelling.

      Dishes should be done EVERY NIGHT.

      Your refrigerator is not a laboratory. If you haven't eaten those leftovers in 4days THROW THEM AWAY and promptly EMPTY THE TRASHCAN.

      Living in a dwelling that may appear to be the home of a "gay dude" will pay big dividends.

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      04-17-2012 08:53 PM #203
      Quote Originally Posted by H2oWerker View Post
      I had intended to post some insights(?) and feelings on the subject since I've been questioning many of the same issues for 5ish years. (I lost track of how long exactly) But after seeing what a bashfest this has become, and how many people have decided to belittle you and the situation you find yourself in. (not that they have ANY clue) I will be keeping my personal life to myself.
      You're new here, aren't you? Most of us have "known" Chilledman on these boards for a few years. It's mostly in good fun. He's not taking it as personally as you seem to be.
      Quote Originally Posted by winstonsmith84 View Post
      Tax? I don't mind paying state sales tax. Every time a see a pothole, a school that is falling down or a canceled essential state program, I remind myself why.
      Quote Originally Posted by Tornado2dr View Post
      535 members of congress plus 1 pres screwing us all the time...that's dirty pirate hooker level gang rape.

    4. Member H2oWerker's Avatar
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      04-18-2012 10:20 AM #204
      Not teh newb at all. Familiar w/ Chilledman? nope.

      I guess I just don't see the Parenting and Family forum Separation / Divorce thread as a place to poke fun or make light of a situation. Maybe I'm totally off base.


      And I do know better than to ask for any serious advise on an internet forum.

    5. Member titleist1976's Avatar
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      04-18-2012 11:10 AM #205
      Quote Originally Posted by H2oWerker View Post
      And I do know better than to ask for any serious advise on an internet forum.
      Well, there you have it. There was serious advice and then, since it's chilledman, it degraded because he doesn't seem to take any advice.

      I think most of us that post around here enjoy getting a different perspective, blow off steam that can't' exactly be said in front of the spouse (or at least not as bluntly), or just like to share ****ty, yet hilarious stories.

    6. Banned Chilledman's Avatar
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      04-18-2012 11:35 AM #206
      Quote Originally Posted by titleist1976 View Post
      Well, there you have it. There was serious advice and then, since it's chilledman, it degraded because he doesn't seem to take any advice.

      I think most of us that post around here enjoy getting a different perspective, blow off steam that can't' exactly be said in front of the spouse (or at least not as bluntly), or just like to share ****ty, yet hilarious stories.
      jackpot

      It is a serious thing and I have gotten some good answers and help but then I am also to blame to joke about it as much as the rest here so .....

    7. Banned Chilledman's Avatar
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      04-18-2012 12:02 PM #207
      Quote Originally Posted by Egilbe View Post
      You're new here, aren't you? Most of us have "known" Chilledman on these boards for a few years. It's mostly in good fun. He's not taking it as personally as you seem to be.
      Holy crap its been over 2 years of you weirdos

    8. Member titleist1976's Avatar
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      04-18-2012 12:29 PM #208
      Quote Originally Posted by Chilledman View Post
      Holy crap its been over 2 years of you weirdos
      **** you. It feels like an eternity for us. I feel for your man of a wife.

    9. Banned Chilledman's Avatar
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      04-18-2012 04:31 PM #209
      Quote Originally Posted by titleist1976 View Post
      **** you. It feels like an eternity for us. I feel for your man of a wife.
      I am more afraid of her beating me up, I just pitty the first poor guy she decides to date ..... so sad

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      04-18-2012 05:46 PM #210
      Quote Originally Posted by Chilledman View Post
      I am more afraid of her beating me up, I just pitty the first poor guy she decides to date ..... so sad
      I'm sure it will be someone from her church that will worship the ground she walks on. They'll get her hooked up in no time and have her popping out kids left and right!
      Quote Originally Posted by winstonsmith84 View Post
      Tax? I don't mind paying state sales tax. Every time a see a pothole, a school that is falling down or a canceled essential state program, I remind myself why.
      Quote Originally Posted by Tornado2dr View Post
      535 members of congress plus 1 pres screwing us all the time...that's dirty pirate hooker level gang rape.

    11. Banned Chilledman's Avatar
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      04-19-2012 08:46 AM #211
      Quote Originally Posted by Egilbe View Post
      I'm sure it will be someone from her church that will worship the ground she walks on. They'll get her hooked up in no time and have her popping out kids left and right!
      If that is true , that would be freaking awesome !!!!

      The amount of work she is willing to put in should be replicated by person she is with , and I know that I am not interested nor capable of doing that . And that's what hurts the most out of anything else. It almost feels like you failed them.

      The saddest part she will never see that .

    12. Banned Chilledman's Avatar
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      04-29-2012 10:29 PM #212
      1 week down .

      Onto week 2

    13. Member titleist1976's Avatar
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      04-29-2012 11:10 PM #213
      What the hell are you talking about?

    14. Banned Chilledman's Avatar
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      04-30-2012 09:30 AM #214
      Quote Originally Posted by titleist1976 View Post
      What the hell are you talking about?
      I left for the second time last monday

    15. Member vwtuner4ever's Avatar
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      05-10-2012 01:26 PM #215
      Got separated two weeks ago.

      The day she got pregnant (which is in October 2010) is basically the last day she was willing to have ''physical interaction'' let say. Then she started to come up with more and more excuses, starting with ''I have pain'', then evolving to trouble coming from her past. I've always been very comprehensive to her and patient. I cared a lot about her. Then one day, when my son was about 3 months old, she told me that she had no more feeling for me. I thought it was related to the difficulties of raising a young baby and that she might be depressive. We went to counselling for about 3 months. She also saw a psychiatrist. But even with all this, she didn't change. She didn't want me to hold her in my arms, she didn't want me to do any nices things for her. She didn't want to try bringing the love back. And one day she told me that she was going to leave.

      All these time to counselling I asked her if I did something wrong and if so that I want to work on it with her, but she never came up with anything. I know I have things to work on, I'm not perfect. I'm not a lazy guy and I helped her with the baby and in the house. But at one point the situation became extremely frustrating for me.

      I think the whole thing is insane. Her behaviour would be expected from a teenager, but not from a mother of a son who's less that 1 year old. I've been so patient all the way and got no reward. At least I'm a good dad and will be having my son half the time and get to keep the house. I'll give him my best. But the whole thing makes me wonder what really happened, cause to this day I don't know. I don't believe in the ''i lost feelings'' crap.

      The child was planned by the way and she loves him. I also know that she's not seeing someone else.

      I don't really buy the ''trouble from the past'' thing. She was abused once, but she hasn't been raped. She showed to be pretty ok before she turned into a cold blooded woman.

      I don't know if I'll ever put my feelings in the hands of someone else, because she really destroyed my dreams and broken my heart.

    16. Member vwtuner4ever's Avatar
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      05-10-2012 02:01 PM #216
      Forgot to say that during that last year I bought her the house and the car she wanted and helped her clear her financial debts completly...

    17. 05-10-2012 10:34 PM #217
      Been married for 17 months and I feel we're on the outskirts. I work all the time and go to sleep early, she works all the time and comes home late. She gets pissed when she comes home and I'm asleep. We never do anything together, she's either with her friends and I'm either with my friends, when we do happen to do something together its more for her. I'll go to her friends party but not vise versa. When we do see each other we constantly argue about the little dumb stuff. Frankly, I'm getting so sick and tired and stressed out I'm about to call it quits.

    18. Banned Chilledman's Avatar
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      05-15-2012 11:44 AM #218
      Quote Originally Posted by vwtuner4ever View Post
      Got separated two weeks ago.

      The day she got pregnant (which is in October 2010) is basically the last day she was willing to have ''physical interaction'' let say. Then she started to come up with more and more excuses, starting with ''I have pain'', then evolving to trouble coming from her past. I've always been very comprehensive to her and patient. I cared a lot about her. Then one day, when my son was about 3 months old, she told me that she had no more feeling for me. I thought it was related to the difficulties of raising a young baby and that she might be depressive. We went to counselling for about 3 months. She also saw a psychiatrist. But even with all this, she didn't change. She didn't want me to hold her in my arms, she didn't want me to do any nices things for her. She didn't want to try bringing the love back. And one day she told me that she was going to leave.

      All these time to counselling I asked her if I did something wrong and if so that I want to work on it with her, but she never came up with anything. I know I have things to work on, I'm not perfect. I'm not a lazy guy and I helped her with the baby and in the house. But at one point the situation became extremely frustrating for me.

      I think the whole thing is insane. Her behaviour would be expected from a teenager, but not from a mother of a son who's less that 1 year old. I've been so patient all the way and got no reward. At least I'm a good dad and will be having my son half the time and get to keep the house. I'll give him my best. But the whole thing makes me wonder what really happened, cause to this day I don't know. I don't believe in the ''i lost feelings'' crap.

      The child was planned by the way and she loves him. I also know that she's not seeing someone else.

      I don't really buy the ''trouble from the past'' thing. She was abused once, but she hasn't been raped. She showed to be pretty ok before she turned into a cold blooded woman.

      I don't know if I'll ever put my feelings in the hands of someone else, because she really destroyed my dreams and broken my heart.

      I does happen you just "loose that feeling" you just stop enjoying the other persons presences , regardless what the other person does they just annoy you . I will be honest being on this end does suck , you remember all the good times together you remember the feelings and the amazingness of the relationship and then ..... bam its gone , you don't know when or why it happens but it just does .

      Now that person goes from being the love of your life to someone thats just "there" and here always just there , they never leave they just "there"

      Trust me it sucks , I am going to loose someone I do care about as a friend but not as my wife or love or companion.

      Whats worse is trying to explain that to the other person with out completely crushing them.

    19. Senior Member FlashRedGLS1.8T's Avatar
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      05-15-2012 12:06 PM #219
      Quote Originally Posted by vwtuner4ever View Post
      At least I'm a good dad and will be having my son half the time and get to keep the house. I'll give him my best.


      But the whole thing makes me wonder what really happened, cause to this day I don't know.
      If you haven't figured it out by now, you won't. If she's not interested in fixing what's wrong, or at least working on it, then it's best for the two of you to continue on parted paths.

      Good luck.

    20. Senior Member FlashRedGLS1.8T's Avatar
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      05-15-2012 12:07 PM #220
      Quote Originally Posted by Orzel Bialy View Post
      Been married for 17 months and I feel we're on the outskirts. I work all the time and go to sleep early, she works all the time and comes home late. She gets pissed when she comes home and I'm asleep. We never do anything together, she's either with her friends and I'm either with my friends, when we do happen to do something together its more for her. I'll go to her friends party but not vise versa. When we do see each other we constantly argue about the little dumb stuff. Frankly, I'm getting so sick and tired and stressed out I'm about to call it quits.
      That really sucks, especially 17 months in.

      I'm curious, how long were you together and living together before being married?

    21. Senior Member dunhamjr's Avatar
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      05-15-2012 12:34 PM #221
      Quote Originally Posted by Orzel Bialy View Post
      Been married for 17 months and I feel we're on the outskirts. I work all the time and go to sleep early, she works all the time and comes home late. She gets pissed when she comes home and I'm asleep. We never do anything together, she's either with her friends and I'm either with my friends, when we do happen to do something together its more for her. I'll go to her friends party but not vise versa. When we do see each other we constantly argue about the little dumb stuff. Frankly, I'm getting so sick and tired and stressed out I'm about to call it quits.
      sorry to say but it sounds like you two should never have gotten married.

      its not like your social and work lives instantly became at odds with each other the second you got married.
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    22. 05-15-2012 06:55 PM #222
      Quote Originally Posted by FlashRedGLS1.8T View Post
      That really sucks, especially 17 months in.

      I'm curious, how long were you together and living together before being married?
      We dated for 2 years, lived together for one. We're gonna do the counseling/therapy thing and see if that helps.

    23. Banned Chilledman's Avatar
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      05-16-2012 11:55 AM #223
      Quote Originally Posted by FlashRedGLS1.8T View Post

      I'm curious, how long were you together and living together before being married?
      I am going to highjack this question .

      We both went from living at home to being married.
      We never lived together
      We never had sex before marriage
      I never really dated anyone ( I was 20 and in a cult)

      They should make it illegal to get married before age of 25 .

    24. Member vwtuner4ever's Avatar
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      05-16-2012 12:25 PM #224
      Quote Originally Posted by Chilledman View Post
      I does happen you just "loose that feeling" you just stop enjoying the other persons presences , regardless what the other person does they just annoy you
      True. However she has done that to a couple guys before me (I learned that toward the end..). Also to simply lose the feelings months after giving birth, if find it weird at best. I think she's got issues.

      Anyway, I'll survive.

    25. Senior Member FlashRedGLS1.8T's Avatar
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      05-16-2012 12:43 PM #225
      Quote Originally Posted by Chilledman View Post
      They should make it illegal to get married before age of 25 .
      I've been with my wife for 20 years next month. Married at 24.
      I disagree with you.

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