My cousin is an only child and he's a dickbag x10
On the other hand, my wife is an only child and she turned out great. It's all in how you raise the child. Her mother (single mom) was strict but fair and never spoiled her.
he came home with a D and F on his report card on friday and wanted to go to his friends house all weekend. We said no and took away his computer, xbox, iphone, etc. We told him we expect him to do the bare minimum which to us means no zeros for homework (which is why he has a D and F) and at least a C in any class. He was upset but took it ok. Spent most of the weekend in his room. Then monday he came home from school, did his homework and demanded everything back.
We said, "No, you don't get your stuff back for doing what you are supposed to be doing for ONE day." He wanted the rules in writing so i wrote them up. If he has a D or F in a class or a zero for any assignment, homework, or project, he will be grounded and have his electronics taken away. As long as he has a D or an F or a zero on his online report card he will be grounded and have his electronics taken away. We'll see how it goes from here.
I'm hoping he can get his grade up by the end of the week. It's really stupid, imo, to get zeros on home work grades. I was a terrible student in high school and did the same crap, i'm not going to let him make the same mistakes as me, under my watch. College was so easy, i did my home work, read the things i was supposed to read, wrote papers, only classes i struggled with were Spanish and Math, which i still got mostly B's in.
I'm hoping this will teach him how easy it is to keep your head above water. There is no reason to dig yourself a hole and try and get out of it at the end of every semester. It isn't even that much work, he isn't taking any honors classes this semester.
my wife is an 8th grade teacher and she always tells me how parents have issues keeping their kids from doing things...
ie "i take the game cable away but they just steal it back".
cut the cable in half with scissors. toss it in the brush shredder. destroy that thing, and then lets see how well the game machine works. if they can figure out how to put the item back together with glue and solder, then they can have it back.
Evidently this was the only time my wife has ever had anyone (her principal/boss) talk to her about "remembering to be professional with parents", because her response to the parent was "you're making a really bad joke, right?"(I had this confirmed by multiple tipsy teachers at a teacher-party later...i'm so proud).
My mother was a single mother and even though I outweighed her and was much stronger, there is no doubt in my mind I would loose a fight with her. I got hit with the nearest thing to her sometimes. I had it pretty easy too.
writing the rules down wasn't a big deal, i had already emailed with his mother about how to handle things. And besides, it helps for him to know exactly what our expectations are. He is doing a lot better after only a week.
Last edited by Row1Rich; 04-07-2012 at 05:26 PM.
We're only having one child. My son was born 18 months ago and I already had surgery to ensure that.
Anyways, we're already taking steps to ensure there are no issues like OP is talking about. Making sure he's around lots of kids his age, and we DON'T give in to his demands and temper tantrums.
Its actually funny to watch an 18 month old throw a tantrum. We actually laugh out loud when he does it. But he will and does get over it. I can see some parents giving in all the time tough, even for small things such as throwing a tantrum for more juice....
I'm sure it will get tougher but we're ready.
For the OP, I'd definitely crack down on him. Take away one thing at a time that he loves and make sure he knows his place in the family.
Here are some of the rules for our 15 yo...
1. Daily must-dos after school: homework, reading (minimum 1 hour), practice guitar and piano.
2. You EARN your electronic (TV, XBox, FB/youtube/internet, etc.) time by doing chores, not the other way around. Daily chores include take the trash out (all rooms), make your bed, pull your curtains, clear the dishes from the dishwasher, and help mom with setting up dinner.
3. No TV, PC or Xbox in the bedroom (do not allow them having their own TV or PC in bedroom). Bed time 9PM weekdays. Computer will lock him out at exactly 9PM.
4. Maturity and responsibility - I can treat you like a 15 yo, or I can also treat you like a 5 yo. If you tell me you will be home at 5, you'd better watch your time or you won't get to hang out that long the next time. If you don't answer the phone or reply to my text promptly, I'll take that phone away.
5. Clean up after your mess. I just locked up all the tools last weekend and dumped all his longboard project in a trashbag because he did not clean up the bench. If you borrow my tripod and don't return it to its place, you don't get to use it again. Etc.
6. Grades - We are not "tiger" parents, but we want you to try your best and learn from your mistakes. These lessons not only will help you now and but are also valuable lessons for college and later in life. If you tripped on stupid mistakes on exams, learn to read the questions more carefully and check your answers. If you get A in one quarter and slide to B in the next, you need to refocus and quit being overconfident. Learn from your grades and learn to decipher what to do to earn a higher grade from a teacher. Each teacher has different expectations.
If your grade falls, you'll get more parental scrutiny. If your grade improves, you'll get encouragement and more leeway when you want things.
7. Allowance - divided into 3 parts - saving, charity and actual spending.
8. Family quality time - try to have family dinner as much as possible. Also do things on weekends. Try not to let them shut you out of their lives
Last edited by sg207ptg; 04-16-2012 at 04:20 PM.