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    Thread: Losing my damn marbles, or, tell me about Buick Park Avenues

    1. Member Señor Peligro's Avatar
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      04-11-2012 01:59 PM #1
      Here's my enthusiast card, take it, I won't be needing it anymore. Or at least for a while.

      The ol' Mazda Ranger sucks on gas and looks and drives like ****. I want a car-couch. I like car-couches, always have. Don't drive fast anymore, don't go to tracks, don't really care about handling or any of that much anymore. I just want something comfortable, quiet, reasonable on gas, and reliable. Other hobbies have taken away from my car interests considerably. Boats, guns, fishing, drums....all that pricey, time consuming ****.

      I'm particularly interested in 97-05 Park Aves, although 91-96s could be an option as well. Seems as though they're pretty epic depreciation specials, and there's hoards of them out there for cheap. I have my eye on a '98 1-owner car w/ 125k on it for $2,500. Looks surprisingly nice.

      My grandfather had one. It was tan. He sold it and promptly bought a LeSabre, which was also tan. They were damn near identical. He never had issues with them at all, and I've read that they're reliable cars.

      But if anybody has any experience or knowledge (cough, JRod, cough) w/ LeSabres or Park Aves, please drop some knowledge on my ass. If they're unreliable junk, please recommend a comfy land barge that isn't. Cadillacs are no good - don't trust the Northstars in those things. Don't want a Crown Vic, RWD is not in the cards.

      The ultimate goal is to drive this thing for a while and wait til the new Subie Imprezas have been out for a year or two, because I really like them, but won't buy a first year car. Been down that road before, didn't end well.

      For now, I'd like a barge to relax in and listen to my Project Pat and Cannibal Corpse. Life would be good.

      Help this 27 year old going on 75 years old out.

      Last edited by Señor Peligro; 04-11-2012 at 02:11 PM.
      Now go get your shinebox

    2. 04-11-2012 02:00 PM #2
      Buicks are for colostomies.

    3. Member Señor Peligro's Avatar
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      04-11-2012 02:01 PM #3
      Quote Originally Posted by PatientlyWaiting View Post
      Buicks are for colostomies.
      As are bags, which the Buick may end up getting.
      Now go get your shinebox

    4. Banned TheGreenspanator's Avatar
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      04-11-2012 02:02 PM #4
      Quote Originally Posted by PatientlyWaiting View Post
      Buicks are for colostomies.
      I'm sorry SP, I LOL'd

    5. Member dieselraver's Avatar
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      04-11-2012 02:05 PM #5
      laugh all you guys want a guy i know owned one. he traded his astrovan in for one, big engine, chirps the wheels, its got some serious power. true sleeper. cushy seats, luxurious ride. whats not to love? he really did enjoy that car. he had a few issues with it but nothing i'd call out of the ordinary (old age stuff) he got rid of it and bought a ............. sentra SE-R i don't care what engine you cram into a sh*tbox. its still a sh*tbox.

    6. Banned BarryV's Avatar
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      04-11-2012 02:08 PM #6

    7. Banned BarryV's Avatar
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      04-11-2012 02:08 PM #7

    8. Member Señor Peligro's Avatar
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      04-11-2012 02:09 PM #8
      ^

      Now go get your shinebox


    9. Member Señor Peligro's Avatar
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      04-11-2012 02:10 PM #10
      lol. nooooooooooope.
      Now go get your shinebox

    10. Member Calcvictim's Avatar
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      04-11-2012 02:12 PM #11
      Since you're looking at cars that big then why limit to only Buicks, why u no town car?

    11. Member Señor Peligro's Avatar
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      04-11-2012 02:15 PM #12
      Quote Originally Posted by Calcvictim View Post
      Since you're looking at cars that big then why limit to only Buicks, why u no town car?
      Even not-bad-for-V8-gas-mileage is still unfortunately V8 gas mileage, rear wheel drive not fantastic in the snow, cramped in the back, prefer GM land barges to Fords.
      Now go get your shinebox

    12. Banned BarryV's Avatar
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      04-11-2012 02:16 PM #13
      Meanwhile....



    13. Member adrew's Avatar
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      04-11-2012 02:17 PM #14
      Quote Originally Posted by Calcvictim View Post
      Since you're looking at cars that big then why limit to only Buicks, why u no town car?
      Quote Originally Posted by OP
      RWD is not in the cards.
      .
      Improving the signal-to-noise ratio

    14. Member TheDarkEnergist's Avatar
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      04-11-2012 02:18 PM #15
      "Can Ethel and I get a ride?"

      No Signature. Only Krav Khalash.

    15. Member Egz's Avatar
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      04-11-2012 02:20 PM #16
      My dad had a 97. Had more problems than other cars he owned. I think the final blow for that car was when he got a flat in a snow storm, and in the process of trying to change it, the sheer weight of the vehicle crushed the factory scissor jack.

    16. Member 200HP4dr's Avatar
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      04-11-2012 02:22 PM #17
      Great cars! Welcome to my world. I had a couple and they were fantastic. I've had a couple of friends with the vintage you prefer, and while generally reliable, they had a couple of failures in common. For some reason, the rocker arms come off on the N/A ones. Not sure why, but that alone will cause someone to dump the car, and its a relatively easy repair. Find the nicest condition one you can find that has had the transmission fluid regularly changed.

      They're comfy, and get great mileage. My Lesabre (95) regularly got 28-29 mpg on trips. in town, I averaged 22, but its better than your ranger. They're quiet and perfect for areas with rough roads. Tires are cheap because they have tons of sidewall and so are replacement parts. Any place can work on them, and even weird issues won't stump most shops, as this car and others mechanically identical to it have been around for years.

      I say do it. They get boring fast, though, so maybe keep a little crapbox around for when you want to get rowdy.

      Chris
      | 2014 Nissan Altima | 2012 Nissan Leaf | 1988 Mustang GT Conv. | 2000 Honda Odyssey

    17. Member vwmaniac16vr6's Avatar
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      04-11-2012 02:24 PM #18
      What is the average age of a Buick driver.......................................












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    18. 04-11-2012 02:29 PM #19
      Id go for an earlier model that wasn't a V6 and wrong wheel drive. But I guess that wouldn't get much better milage than the Ranger.

    19. Member TheDarkEnergist's Avatar
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      04-11-2012 02:29 PM #20
      Quote Originally Posted by vwmaniac16vr6 View Post
      What is the average age of a Buick driver.......................................

      .................................................. .......................................DEAD
      No Signature. Only Krav Khalash.

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      04-11-2012 02:32 PM #21
      Quote Originally Posted by Egz View Post
      My dad had a 97. Had more problems than other cars he owned. I think the final blow for that car was when he got a flat in a snow storm, and in the process of trying to change it, the sheer weight of the vehicle crushed the factory scissor jack.
      That's why they're called widowmakers


      Get the Buick, and get Lucerne 17"s before bags/fridge/mood lighting

    21. Member Bibs's Avatar
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      04-11-2012 02:34 PM #22
      At your price point, you may be looking at some older ones...My father in law got his dad's low mileage Lesabre when he passed...it looked perfect. It's a good car, quiet, comfortable, and roomy.
      It's nickel-and-dimed my FIL to death, though. From what I know:

      - V6 ate its it's head gasket. Caught in time, repaired ($$)
      - climate control unit died. Junk yard unit still was $$
      - Air suspension is dying a slow death
      - level control on the rear air suspension was acting up...compressor ran forever...not expensive, just a pain
      - stereo died. He had a junk yard one installed, gained a CD player
      - water pump crapped out on him $$
      - Rusted fuel filler and lines needed replacement, it was leaking. $$

      In isolation, none of these are unexpected in a car that's 10+ years old...but it just seems to be piling up for him.
      Maybe increase your budget a bit and get a first year 300/Charger with a V6? They have issues, none of them serious. Mine has been rock solid (07). Or a newer Impala?
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    22. Member Señor Peligro's Avatar
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      04-11-2012 02:42 PM #23
      One thing is for sure, air suspension-equipped models are not going to be a consideration. Any air suspension will be aftermarket.

      But yeah, I figured it would have typical GM niggly problems like that.

      The Chryslers.....not too pumped on them, plus RWD isn't what I'm looking for. Seems like in my area, even if I upped the budget, I'd only be able to get into the sludge-o-matic, anemic 2.7s, which won't fly. The 3.5's ain't bad, but...not quite barge-y enough. Never know though, I'll keep my eye out. Drove a Charger R/T years ago, it wasn't bad.

      Impalas....meh. I'll check 'em out. Just a bit too middle-of-the-road.
      Now go get your shinebox

    23. 04-11-2012 02:43 PM #24
      I've always had a secret thing for that generation of Park Avenue in that metallic white colour GM had a decade back. Very classy looking, I think.
      Quote Originally Posted by 20aeman View Post
      No, the real enthusiast vehicle would be the RX8. It combines V12 Lamborghini gas mileage with Hyundai Genesis 4cyl. performance.

    24. Member Señor Peligro's Avatar
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      04-11-2012 02:44 PM #25
      Quote Originally Posted by Double-V View Post
      I've always had a secret thing for that generation of Park Avenue in that metallic white colour GM had a decade back. Very classy looking, I think.
      Yes. I remember one shade of white that seemed to have a lot of flake to it, or something like that. Nice color.
      Now go get your shinebox

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      04-11-2012 02:49 PM #26
      Had to stop reading this thread, have to keep a serious face at work.
      VRSociety #293

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      04-11-2012 02:49 PM #27
      Quote Originally Posted by 200HP4dr View Post
      Great cars! Welcome to my world. I had a couple and they were fantastic. I've had a couple of friends with the vintage you prefer, and while generally reliable, they had a couple of failures in common. For some reason, the rocker arms come off on the N/A ones. Not sure why, but that alone will cause someone to dump the car, and its a relatively easy repair. Find the nicest condition one you can find that has had the transmission fluid regularly changed.
      Yes Like said, tranny fluid changes on record are good. My Folks had a '96 Park Avenue, the 3.8L is a great V6. It is usually rock solid. The trans. Meh, keep it regulary serviced and it should do you well. An injector Bank did go bad in the 96 and the tranny finally died. Most likely cause my dad isn't the best at staying on top of maintinance.

      They Bought a '98 LeSabre 3.8L. Put a lot of miles on it, they had coolent leaking in the intake mani. It was about a $300-400 fix, with a replacement intake.Then gave it to my sister, which it just did the Rocker arm bit, going clackity clackity. My SIster and brother in law were qgetting quotes of $800 to $1000 to fix. Some were saying the push rods wer bad, some said valves.

      I told them to bring it to a local shop I know, good people "Mike's Auto Repair". Mike and his Son Kevin are pretty good poeple. They took a look and said About $350 to do the job, parts and labor. The issue was fixed.
      We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

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      04-11-2012 02:55 PM #28
      OP just get it and put some twnetyfos on it an ya will fit right in around where I am... Louisiana FTW..
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      04-11-2012 02:56 PM #29


      Helen Thomas would like your number.
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      04-11-2012 03:00 PM #30
      Quote Originally Posted by Inkarnata View Post


      Helen Thomas would like your number.
      hahahahahahaha.





      and dont do it. my ex had one. she was 22. she got made fun of for it. it broke down a lot, and she was fed up with it.

    30. Member Señor Peligro's Avatar
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      04-11-2012 03:06 PM #31
      Quote Originally Posted by Lucian1988 View Post

      and dont do it. my ex had one. she was 22. she got made fun of for it. it broke down a lot, and she was fed up with it.
      Well, I certainly give no ****s or ****s at 27, but the other feedback is appreciated.

      Also -

      I know Northstar Cadillacs are generally a guaranteed headache later on in life, but my friend is selling his deceased mother's 1999 DeVille garage queen. It's white with blue leather interior. Showroom condition with 41k miles. Now, like I said, Northstars have their issues, but I can probably grab the car for 3k and when I say it's immaculate, I mean it's immaculate. I just don't know if the low mileage would make it a bit of a non-issue for at least a couple of years, but the price is obscene relative to the condition.
      Now go get your shinebox

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      04-11-2012 03:08 PM #32
      I drive a Buick LaCrosse for work, and I hate every minute of it. Its very depressing when you're 29 and your 60'ish year old neighbor says "new car grandpa?"

      I do appreciate the idea of keeping the mileage down on my personal cars, but being an enthusiast, it leaves a lot to be desired. The Buick has its place and serves it function well, if you dont give a ****, go for it.

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      04-11-2012 03:17 PM #33
      Quote Originally Posted by Señor Peligro View Post
      Lower it, and I would rock it too.

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      04-11-2012 03:20 PM #34
      Quote Originally Posted by randy View Post
      Lower it, and I would rock it too.
      And it begins. Next you'll see bagged Park Ave's winning Best in Show Trophies at Waterfest.
      No Signature. Only Krav Khalash.

    34. Member Señor Peligro's Avatar
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      04-11-2012 03:22 PM #35
      Quote Originally Posted by TheDarkEnergist View Post
      And it begins. Next you'll see bagged Park Ave's winning Best in Show Trophies at Waterfest.
      I'm tellin you, 2012 is gonna be the year of the Buick. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes. Or a viagra peen rising from eternal impotence.
      Now go get your shinebox

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