Customer Service Thread

[A.Wilder]

I have a new job that requires going to people's homes and installing TV, internet, and phone services. In the short time i have been doing this i have realized that many of these encounters are bizarre and/or hilarious. I assume many of you have similar stories to tell.

Morning: Installing TV, internet, and phones. Husband welcomes us into the home and immediately starts showing us his collection of blues guitar player autographs, guitars, and guitar player awards he has received. While cool and special to him, it isn't the purpose of our visit and alerts me that something may be a bit wacky this job. I think he realizes we don't give a crap about his personal success and only want to get our job done and quickly shows us where the tv, phones, and computer are located. My coworker begins on the outside of the house while i configure everything inside. I am quickly confronted by a 50 something overweight woman with makeup like Mimi inquiring about the channels we offer. She is concerned that her 28 year old autistic son will be upset about losing any of his favorite channels. I spend 15 minutes trying to put her fears to rest by showing her that she is in fact getting all of her son's favorite channels, however they will be on different numbers and a couple of her favorite channels are not offered (hallmark). I think to myself that i am doing a pretty good job handling this situation, as i understand autism can be a difficult thing to live with, but she begins to tear up. She tells me that she is just "So mad" at her husband for switching their TV service and "Doesn't understand why he has to do things like this!?" I stare blankly. She continues to tell me that they haven't spoken since March 20th due to an argument. I stare blankly, thinking, "I'm not your marriage counselor and i certainly don't need to know about your dirty laundry." I notice her husband is well within earshot of our conversation and she is being passive aggressive as she continues to tell me she wishes she could divorce him, marrying him was the stupidest thing she has ever done, and that he is a stubborn old fool. I stare blankly and attempt to withdraw from the conversation, "Well, i need to get started!" As i do more work around the house she hovers, asking questions about the channels that i already answered, comes close to tears a few times thinking about her 28 year old autistic son and stubborn old fool husband. This goes on pretty much the entire time we are there. As we are wrapping up our install and showing her how to use the remote, registering her internet, etc. she tells us the reason she and her husband have not spoken in nearly a month is because they received an invitation to a class reunion, a huge cause for concern apparently. Me and my coworker are both present for this knowledge and we both just stare blankly, thinking to ourselves "Why me?!" Unfortunately we get a lot of customers like this couple. People who are lonely for whatever reason and jump at the opportunity to relieve that stress on the guy coming to do some work for them. It's a real problem to the extent that our company has special codes for "frequent dispatch" customers.

Afternoon. We head to a very wealthy part of town to do another install. My partner feels that this is going to be a rough one because the customer sounded weird on the phone. I try to keep my spirits up, expect the worse, hope for the best. Our install is going pretty much by routine. My coworker is doing most of the outside work while i do the inside. The customer, however, is hovering, following me around the house and watching me work. I don't really have an issue with this as i know my job, i'm professional, and I have no desire to lose my job by stealing from a customer. But, it is kind of weird having someone follow you everywhere, silently, while you work, even into the attic crawl space. Then it got weird. We had to rest one of the boxes in the master bedroom and i didn't see the customer anywhere. Odd, i thought to myself as me and my coworker waited for the box to reset. We waited for a few minutes, the box reset and began to function normally and we exited the master bedroom. As we walked by the linen closet i notice two shoes, legs and an arm inside the closet. The customer was spying on us from his closet Oh well, i don't judge, he doesn't know who we are so i can't really blame him. But just another weird day at work.

[sjt1985]

As we walked by the linen closet i notice two shoes, legs and an arm inside the closet. The customer was spying on us from his closet

Ok that's just creepy.

How about you hook a brother up with some free internet and TV?

[White Jetta]

Just feel lucky you don't live near me and get a service call.

[A.Wilder]

I've already had a number of hoarders. The worst are the chain smokers. It stinks terribly, it's filthy, and I can't get to any wall jacks without asking them to move their crap. One guy was exactly as I described and was some sort of commercial engineer/architect. He had stacked up a freakibg metric ton of old papers on the wall where all his wires came in. It took him over an hour to clear about a 5 inch area to get access to the jack, killing our efficiency

[2slojetta0L]

I have also been in an apartment about 600sq/ft, the lady had ten dogs, paper with poop all over the apartment-one of the worst smells I ever encountered.

[A.Wilder]

What I don't like is having to have someone install something that I could do my self without even breaking out the tools. Cable TV and internet when the jacks are already installed, for example.
"Yes, thanks for pluging the cables in, no I don't need you to configure it for me."

Sometimes it's that simple, but usually we have to run a few lines or switch pairs within lines, or we are changing out wall plates to our spec plates as a lot of cable tv installers are contractors with cheap wall plates, cables, etc. also, when switching to VOIP there will be more complex wiring that most customers won't be able to complete on their own.

[VW1.8Tsunami]

I worked for Stanley Steamer for a few months during college and seeing the way people lived was the most interesting part. Sometimes you would see cool stuff, other times you would be disturbed. Sometimes you would have cool customers, other times you have the PITAs.

One lady was super anal () and we could tell by the way she lived. Everything was perfect. She left us a key and instructions. My best friend and I were on the same crew that day and we we always went above and beyond. We were probably the most thorough crew at the time.

However, we knew she was going to be a bitch. My friend said before we left that she would call and bitch and have someone come back out. He was right. We came back out and she was there, did the same thing AGAIN and it had the same results.

[compy222]

i work in a partisan political office. as you can imagine, it just gets more entertaining everyday.

quote from yesterday -

her: my husband and i only make 2678.00 every month and its not enough every month

me: ma'am, none of you work, all of this income is from the government through disability, medicaid, cash assistance, food stamps, etc."

her: well yes, but its just not enough

(this is more than typical staff here makes. )

reserving this space for further postings of hilarity.

[A.Wilder]

i work in a partisan political office. as you can imagine, it just gets more entertaining everyday.

quote from yesterday -

her: my husband and i only make 2678.00 every month and its not enough every month

me: ma'am, none of you work, all of this income is from the government through disability, medicaid, cash assistance, food stamps, etc."

her: well yes, but its just not enough

(this is more than typical staff here makes. )

reserving this space for further postings of hilarity.

hahahaha

Today i just finished installing internet and tv for this guy and i have to put my cellphone in a little container while i drive so i can't answer it, company policy. I get back to the garage and i have 2 messages from him. I'm thinking, crap!

First message: I can't get a bunch of the channels to work it's just giving me a blue screen. please call me back.
second message: Sorry about the first message, i had the wrong channels. i told you i'm retarded.

[A.Wilder]

I was making small talk with an older customer, probably in her 60's, and for whatever reason she was telling me that her dream was to one day...visit Virginia. I tried not to laugh and held it in because any point in Virginia is only a 3-4 hour drive, maybe 5. She had never been outside of Wake County, NC.

[jollyrodgers]

when i worked the service desk at walmart i had a few interesting encounters.

1: I was helping at the checkouts when my managers called me over and they were all laughing. The tell me i need to go clean up a mess in one of the aisles. i ask waht it is and they tell me "someone **** one the floor". yup sure enough someone **** themselves and shook the poo down their leg.

2: We always had this old guy in a hoverround scooter come in and want assistance grovery shopping. My managers would always tell me to do it since none of the females wnated to do it cause the guy was a perv. so i would walk around the store helping this guy out, and all the while i just keeping staring at the swinging bag of piss on his handlebars(he had a cathiter). When we get done he calls a cab, cab comes and he loads it up with his stuff. he then sarts cruzing away, apparently he only used the cab to deliver his groceries.

i will have to try and remember some more

[speedn16v]

A few times when I worked retail I walked up to customers asking if they needed assistance, then they broke down in tears saying some family member was in the hospital, or was just diagnosed with cancer.

I felt bad and all, but it was sure awkward, and that age, didn't know how to console anybody in a situation like that.

Dave.

[Cousin Eddie]

I used to do telephone support for TomTom a few years ago, for the united kingdom.

I've had MANY stories about crazy people calling up..but one that sticks out is me discussing a promotion with a guy.

Halfway through our chat, he starts taking a piss... CLEARLY(!) without missing a beat.

I do that while playing Playstation games online all the time. I usually try to time it right on NHL 12 so I piss while both teams are in the lobby and everyone can hear.

The O.P. fat lady sounds like the beginning to a really bad porn plot.

[retro_rocket]

I worked in retail customer service for six years selling clothing, and another year doing B2B client service in marketing/advertising. I've probably got about a million stories I could tell.

A few times when I worked retail I walked up to customers asking if they needed assistance, then they broke down in tears saying some family member was in the hospital, or was just diagnosed with cancer.

I felt bad and all, but it was sure awkward, and that age, didn't know how to console anybody in a situation like that.

Old people loved to do this where I worked...guess they just wanted a sympathetic ear to listen to their problems.

Once, I noticed an old guy - probably about 75 or so - wandering around looking a bit confused. I asked him if he needed any help, and he said he was shopping for clothes for the first time since his wife had died the previous year. Like a lot of older, old-school guys, he let his wife pick out and buy all of his clothes, never really thinking about what he would do if he outlived her. Poor guy didn't even know what size underwear he had on! I took the better part of an hour to walk around with him, got him sized up for everything from shirts to pants to shoes, and showed him how to match up colors and patterns to create an outfit that wouldn't clash. He came back on a regular basis after that to buy things from me. Every once and a while you'd get a customer like that who was worthwhile, and almost made it worth putting up with 100 pricks to have that one genuinely appreciative customer.

[Hurt]

This is hilarious

[A.Wilder]

This is hilarious

Glad you enjoy. Hope to have more to add after this week

[2112]

I spent my first 20 or so working years in retail, several of which were spent in Customer Service for a new-defunct electronics chain that should remain nameless (but was, in fact, Circuit City). One of the positions I held within that stellar chain was that of home delivery driver.

One day, we were delivering a refrigerator to a home on a farm. My partner and I had unboxed the fridge and were carrying it through the doorway into the house. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something moving at my feet. Look down in time to see a baby pig stroll between my legs and into the house. The homeowner picked the piglet up, much to the squeals of the piglet and to the amusement of me.

[A.Wilder]

German clubbing sounds fun, but not sure how it relates to customer service

[Egilbe]

I'm starting to think he's so enamored with Germany because he didn't actually have to live there as an adult, but as someone else' dependent.

[dk58]

I worked retail for a few years and one day this guy came up to me and asked to use the fitting room. This was a shoe store and we really didn't sell any clothing people would need to try on, so the store manager filled the fitting room with junk. The excuse we were told to use was to say it was "under construction". I tell the man this, and he starts yelling at me and then points to the stock room door and asks if he can change in there. I tell him that he can't and that he can return the pants if they don't fit. I walk away, and a few minutes later he is standing in the corner of the store, next to the children's shoe section, in his boxers. He looks at me and starts yelling, "It ain't me that looks bad, its your store!" He continues to make a scene so that everybody in the store sees him in his boxers, and then when he came to the register, apologized to the manager and I about 100 times. That's all I got.

[ab8349]

I worked at a major home improvement warehouse, that may or may not rhyme with 'hoes' during college. Awesome job, awesome people, and a blast. I was working in Paint during one point, and a good buddy was working in Hardware. Earlier that day, he had explained in detail the South Park episode he had just seen with the Vietnam guy who had the voicebox, hilarious, etc...

So he calls me on the internal wireless phone and asks me to come help him with a customer. Now, being a Paint guy, I can't imagine what he would need me for, but never one to pass up the opportunity to get out of the department for awhile, I tell him I'll walk over. As I turn the corner of the aisle, I see him facing me, and the customer has his back turned to me. I walk up, and my buddy says, "Oh, XXXX here knows all about it, he can help you". The customer turns around, and sure enough, he is sporting a voicebox. Sh1T5hitsh!T! As this guys proceeds to tell me his issue, my buddy casually walks around behind him, and makes every kind of ridiculous gesture/face/whatever. All I could do to keep a straight face and get out of there asap.

[Diamond Dave]

Also, I've been in one form customer service sales for quite a few years in retail and food service (oddly, never in call centers). Here's a story about my biggest tip ever from when I lived in lake Tahoe. If you're going to take 4yrs off school to be a snowboard bum, you should go all the way.

I found myself working for a clothing inside one of the casinos in Tahoe. Believe it or not, I was tiring of bartending when I fell into this opportunity. Retail clothing sales and the company would buy my season pass to the mountain. Oh, and I could work the late shift during the winter (3PM to Midnight); this store sold those $70 sweatshirts and $30 T-shirts that you'd never wear when you got back from vacation or that your Grandma thought you needed.

One night some scruffy old guy (a kind generalization) came in at about 20mins until closing one night (midnight). I think he only came in because he was really drunk and needed something to lean on for a few minutes. So I started in with the usual "where are you from" crap. But he's entertaining so I just start my closing duties and keep BS'ing with him.

As the store manager, we got pretty decent bonus when our store exceeded the monthly plan. So, the guy, Richard, starts asking for sweatshirts...in every color. I'm becoming mildly interested in where this prospect is leading.

Then I mention that he'll probably need pants to go with every sweatshirt. Done. Then I suggest that he really needs a T-shirt to go under the sweatshirts. Done. Keep in mind, an average transaction is about $120 (t-shirt, sweatshirt, and pants). A good transaction is more like $450; if you rack up a dozen or so of those sales in a month, you make a decent bonus. In about 15 minutes, this drunk old man has chosen $2K worth of crap that I'm ringing up.

Now it gets interesting. I'm excited because I'll make some great coin on this sale. But now he's talking with some other customers and yells at me "put this on my bill". Sirens are going off in my head; partly due to fear that I'm about to get screwed and partly due to my greed meter pegging the red line.

I get his credit card and and have the cashier start processing as much stuff as possible. When I look up, he's no longer in the store. Not to worry, I find him in the hallway yelling at strangers coming from the casino that he's buying for everyone. My panic gauge hits the redline. Current sale is at $5K; just below the biggest single purchase ever this location (in a chain of about 30 stores FYI). The greed calms my nerves as I calculate my increasing bonus. Let's ride this wave.

It's 10mins past midnight now, in the last 30mins the store went from fully stocked, folded, and ready for tomorrow to being nearly emptied by one drunk customer and about 30 people yelling for sizes and holding armloads of sweatshirts. I decide now is a perfect time to call casino security for some help just in case things go sideways when his credit card mazes out. So many customers have already left with their "gifts", it's becoming hard to tell the difference between a sale and a theft. I check the register; $9K spent in 30 minutes. It's what some stores sell in a month. It represents about $800 bonus for me.

When I look around the store next, my whale is missing. Extreme panic sets in. Although I'm holding his credit card, but he's definitely not on the premises. I find him at the art gallery next door wrapping up ~$20K of purchases with my very happy art curator friend. I let Richard know that we're just shy of $11K and he seems unconcerned.

I walk back to the store and it's literally bare tables and hangars with a few miscellaneous items strewn about. it will take hours to go to the warehouse and bring back boxes to replenish. Total sales was $14,840. I processed the credit card just as Richard came back into the store. He was eager for me to see something back at the gallery. So I follow him over and he shows me a sculpture. Says it's a gift to me; he wants me to have it to encourage me to develop my art collection. I wouldn't have paid a little over $1500 for something like that, but it was an amazing tip and I was grateful for the sentiment.

So he signed the credit slip and I called the bell desk to bring a cart for his purchases. Turns out he only came to the store in the first place because the casino cut him off gambling by offering him a suite for the night if he'd cool off gambling (again, he was super drunk).

He showed up the following night at the store, bought another $7K worth of overpriced sweatshirts, then went back to gambling. He was later ejected from the casino after they cut him off at the cash desk (for being too drunk). Actually, that's not quite right, he was ejected because after they cut him off at the cash desk he unbuckled his pants and peed on the carpet in front of the desk as a protest.

Strange times in Lake Tahoe. Strange times.

[dk58]

That was awesome

[GolfTango]

Effuu Sony Extended Service Plan.

My 32" LCD TV started shutting off by itself randomly. Luckily still have the service plan which expires in July. They send me a box to ship it off and I sent it on its way. Yesterday (pretty quick turnaround) I get it back, but as I unwrap it, I notice the lower left hand corner of the case is smashed.

So I have spent the last two days and over an hour on the phone to get this fixed. Still on hold with Sony as I type.

[FancyMan]

At nail salon I am working customer service. As manager I am dealing with customer that can be very difficulty. Customer sometime very smelly and angry with color of nails choice. Not fault customer choose own color they still want refund and yelling at Timbo! Someone complain that magazine in waiting too old. Not fault magazine all new one stolen by bimbos.
Regular customer good very usual.

[FancyMan]

I'd open up a liquor store, can't really do customer service wrong with it, plus most customers end up becoming regulars, and no refunds.

I am not own store, fun idea to own liquor store!

[2slojetta0L]

When I worked for Verizon in NYC, I had plenty of strange house calls. I had a few where women would come to the door wearing nada( all in the same apartment building on Park Ave S) came to find out a lot of escorts/hookers lived in the building and I guess thought I was a client-the ring got busted a few years later.

Had a few calls in hoity-toity Gramercy Park calls where you are'nt allowed to come thru the front entrance but thru a side entrance for the service people, then when you go upstairs they want you to take off your shoes-which our company didn't allow-OSHA etc they would then get upset and call the doorman to escort me out. Only to get called back because they needed their service fixed.

Had one lady make a 8:30 am appointment and when I got their she started cursing about why am I there so f---ing early

Went to Julia Roberts apartment when she lived in Gramercy-very nice lady.

Had a gay dude hit on me in the most vulgar way, I was fixing a jack and this dude walks up to me and says "can I suck your dick" I politely said I am not gay and he says "thats ok I like straight men. That was the fastest I ever fixed a jack and left.

[ModestGirl]

Had a gay dude hit on me in the most vulgar way, I was fixing a jack and this dude walks up to me and says "can I suck your dick" I politely said I am not gay and he says "thats ok I like straight men. That was the fastest I ever got a jack and left.

FTFY

[2VWatatime]

. People outside of the major cities crave attention or drama to fill their boring mundane lives.

[2VWatatime]

Think of all the stupid beefs people have with each other just over comments on Facebook. Facebook itself wouldn't be soo big if I wasn't right.

Don't have facetwit, don't care. Oh, and facetwitfoursqwhatever = urban.

[Oliver@triplezoom]

Don't have facetwit, don't care. Oh, and facetwitfoursqwhatever = urban.

How do you figure?

[2VWatatime]

How do you figure?

You're kidding, right?

[Swapped6n]

I used to do telephone support for TomTom a few years ago, for the united kingdom.

I've had MANY stories about crazy people calling up..but one that sticks out is me discussing a promotion with a guy.

Halfway through our chat, he starts taking a piss... CLEARLY(!) without missing a beat.

[x047x]

In college I worked in a local video store with a huge porn section. I had to throw many dudes out for faping back there. It never got any less awkward walking up to a guy playing with himself in public.

Oh and the tapes always cut returned covered in spunk and smegma. Gross.

Oh and a local famous skateboarder from West Chester played with muff in the New Releases...

[ModestGirl]

Oh and a local famous skateboarder from West Chester played with muff in the New Releases...

He always grossed me out. Grown men who drive purple cars are just off.

I had a friend who installed cable and would tell me great stories. The good - up on a roof he could see over into the next yard where the residents, all 20 something females, were laying out in the sun topless. The bad - going into a house where very illegal things were going on, seeing automatic weapons out in the open and being followed by a large man and his large and toothy dog.