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    Thread: My balls are bigger than yours

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      04-14-2012 11:43 PM #1
      EDIT: initial operation didn't go quite as planned, sonograph photos on page 2.

      ... so I'm getting them operated on tomorrow.

      The last few weeks one of my main men (testes) has been giving me dull aching pain. Almost like there's a weight on them and pulling downward. The pain steadily increased over the last week and a half and I knew something wasn't right. Went to the hospital and they diagnosed me with "minor hydrocele".

      Essentially there's an inflammation outside one of my men and it's caused a fluid build up. Like breast implants for your sack. One of my guys is "normal sized" and the other is about 2.5 times the size (they look completely normal though, you can't tell visually). The doctor gave me a quick flashlight test and diagnosed me.

      Told me there's two options, the first one is surgically opening my sac and removing the fluid and suturing me back up. The second option is sticking a needle in there and draining the fluid. Obviously I choose the second option.

      I'm scheduled for Monday at 9am. It's currently 4:40 am on Sunday... I can't sleep.

      Last edited by InternetMeme; 04-30-2012 at 10:58 AM.

    2. Member mellbergVWfan's Avatar
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      04-14-2012 11:51 PM #2
      Yikes. Weren't you the one who had complications after a tonsil surgery as well? I hope you have a speedy, painless, and safe recovery.
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    3. Member MidnightSpecial's Avatar
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      04-14-2012 11:52 PM #3
      Quote Originally Posted by InternetMeme View Post
      ... so I'm getting them operated on tomorrow.

      The last few weeks one of my main men (testes) has been giving me dull aching pain. Almost like there's a weight on them and pulling downward. The pain steadily increased over the last week and a half and I knew something wasn't right. Went to the hospital and they diagnosed me with "minor hydrocele".

      Essentially there's an inflammation outside one of my men and it's caused a fluid build up. Like breast implants for your sack. One of my guys is "normal sized" and the other is about 2.5 times the size (they look completely normal though, you can't tell visually). The doctor gave me a quick flashlight test and diagnosed me.

      Told me there's two options, the first one is surgically opening my sac and removing the fluid and suturing me back up. The second option is sticking a needle in there and draining the fluid. Obviously I choose the second option.

      I'm scheduled for Monday at 9am. It's currently 4:40 am on Sunday... I can't sleep.

      Oh God. I remember when the appendix on my right nut got twisted... Just the checks to make sure it wasn't cancer were embarrassing and painful.
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      04-14-2012 11:56 PM #4
      Quote Originally Posted by mellbergVWfan View Post
      Yikes. Weren't you the one who had complications after a tonsil surgery as well? I hope you have a speedy, painless, and safe recovery.
      Yeah, they was me. Remember those pictures, eh?

      The recovery for this isn't really anything at all. I'll walk out of the hospital. 9/10 times they just leave the problem be but since I'm experiencing a lot of discomfort they'll "operate". Doctor said I'll be back to running in 1-2 weeks and won't really experience any discomfort after 24-48 hours. So this will be a walk in the park compared to almost dying from blood loss the last time I saw a physician

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      04-14-2012 11:58 PM #5
      Quote Originally Posted by InternetMeme View Post

      Told me there's two options, the first one is surgically opening my sac and removing the fluid and suturing me back up. The second option is sticking a needle in there and draining the fluid. Obviously I choose the second option.
      My boys just tingled (and not in a good way) reading that. Hope everything goes well.
      ಠ_ಠ

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      04-15-2012 08:33 AM #6
      Moral of the story, you need a better JO buddy
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      04-15-2012 08:53 AM #7
      As soon as I read the options, my men shrunk.

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      04-15-2012 09:25 AM #8
      I could only bare to read half your post before my balls started hurting.
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    9. 04-15-2012 09:44 AM #9
      We had a buddy in school with Elephantiasis in one of his nuts. The thing was about the size of a small grapefruit. He had to get it checked monthly for cancer. Anyway he used to whip it out at parties and shine a flashlight through it. Of course, before he arrived at the party, he would draw a jack-o-lantern face on it. We all got a kick out of it.

    10. 04-15-2012 10:58 AM #10
      Had one of these in highschool, was not to bad. I had to go in for hernia surgery, and they just fixed the hydrocele problem while I was under. Kind of weird, but honorable whey the dr says "wow, that this is big", refering to my right nut.

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      04-15-2012 11:06 AM #11
      ouch! still sounds better than a vasectomy
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      04-15-2012 11:14 AM #12
      Quote Originally Posted by InternetMeme View Post
      The doctor gave me a quick flashlight test and diagnosed me.
      Read this as "a quick fleshlight test".
      Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.

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      04-15-2012 03:33 PM #13
      Is that covered under the NHS? Or do you have to go to some Indian guys house to get it done?
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      04-15-2012 03:45 PM #14
      Quote Originally Posted by 1.8Tquattro View Post
      Read this as "a quick fleshlight test".
      Glad I wasn't the only one

      Good luck
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      04-15-2012 04:00 PM #15
      GL to you!
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      04-15-2012 04:54 PM #16
      ouch my balls!
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      04-15-2012 05:13 PM #17
      Oh ****.

      I said that about six times while reading your post.

      ****.

      Yeah, best of luck to you and your boys.
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      04-15-2012 05:26 PM #18
      Shocked this isn't here yet:


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      04-15-2012 05:39 PM #19
      I had one of these when I was younger as well...too young to fully remember...all I remember was the name of the ailment, and that I got a stuffed Koala from the gift shop at the hospital at then end.
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      04-15-2012 06:01 PM #20
      Was the doctor female?
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      04-15-2012 07:14 PM #21
      Quote Originally Posted by MidnightSpecial View Post
      Oh God. I remember when the appendix on my right nut got twisted... Just the checks to make sure it wasn't cancer were embarrassing and painful.
      Been there, done that. My high school life sucked. Really.
      Deal with it.
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      04-15-2012 07:18 PM #22
      If they offer you a Valium, take it. I had my vasectomy without, and regretted it greatly.

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      04-16-2012 05:33 AM #23
      Had a similar scare... epididimitis... antibiotics took care of it though. you'll be fine
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      04-16-2012 06:07 AM #24
      Quote Originally Posted by spkn^GRMN View Post
      Was the doctor female?
      Bin in that situation many times, including rectal exams.

      One measured the size of my testicles. It clearly is an invariant.

      Another first commented that I surely must work out, then proceeded to slowly and gently move back my foreskin a number of times to confirm a healthy ... general picture.

      Another two gave me very detailed advice on how to fill that small container for testing, only leaving the room after pointing out the stack of magazines and staying around for a while, in case I had questions.

      But the stark reality is, a medical setting makes things about as inviting as bathing in 50F water for an hour, or so.

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      04-16-2012 09:16 AM #25
      Quote Originally Posted by lojasmo View Post
      If they offer you a Valium, take it. I had my vasectomy without, and regretted it greatly.
      mmmmm...the liquid valium drip. My vasectomy was a piece of cake, but I know that this definitely was part of that.

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      04-16-2012 09:26 AM #26
      My 6 month old also has a minor hydrocele going on... his is a result of the opening that your newts drop through during development didn't close all the way before he was born. The short of it, he has the nuts of a grown man. Seriously, the dude needs a nut-bra to support his giant juevos. The sad part of it is that because his boys are so big, his peanor has a hard time remaining an "outie."

      Best part is, he's already had his junk handled by tons of women. Including, and I sh!t you not, an ultrasound tech named Candy. I had to give him props for that.

      He's likely going to need to have surgery in the next year or so... so don't fret OP, if my baby boy can roll with it, you can too.
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      04-16-2012 09:31 AM #27
      Quote Originally Posted by feels_road View Post
      But the stark reality is, a medical setting makes things about as inviting as bathing in 50F water for an hour, or so.
      Yeah, I've had a couple rather attractive female drs and nurses (or nurse practitioners, something) give the exam on the twig and berries. For about a split-second you think...oh, this could be trouble...and then you and the boys realize that there is nothing pleasant about the physical contact they are about to have....and you'll turn turtle in an instant!

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      04-16-2012 10:04 AM #28
      Quote Originally Posted by Tornado2dr View Post
      Yeah, I've had a couple rather attractive female drs and nurses (or nurse practitioners, something) give the exam on the twig and berries. For about a split-second you think...oh, this could be trouble...and then you and the boys realize that there is nothing pleasant about the physical contact they are about to have....and you'll turn turtle in an instant!
      This was actually my only fear before my "work". Then the 70 yo nurse came in offering to shave me and I sighed a breath of relief.

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      04-16-2012 10:57 AM #29
      Got home an hour ago, surgery went well! Much to my surprise an anesthesiologist was present and they put me out. Made a tiny little cut on my scrotum put a camera in there and drained the fluid, then put in 2 dissolvable switches and I was done. I'm sitting on my couch right now with some pain drugs in my system. Doctor said I'll be back to normal in 4-5 days and to just take it easy (no running or sex or physical activity until the weekend).





      Quote Originally Posted by Tornado2dr View Post
      Yeah, I've had a couple rather attractive female drs and nurses (or nurse practitioners, something) give the exam on the twig and berries. For about a split-second you think...oh, this could be trouble...and then you and the boys realize that there is nothing pleasant about the physical contact they are about to have....and you'll turn turtle in an instant!


      I went in to super turtle mode pre-surgery. When I got in to the OR the room was obscenely cold so the surgeon put a blanket on me with a warming tube to heat me up pre-surgery. Everything loosened up and went back to normal so no turtling. Can't vouch for turtling during the operation though

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      04-16-2012 11:04 AM #30
      Quote Originally Posted by under the radar View Post
      ouch my balls!
      Was it new last night or was that a rerun?
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    31. Member Tornado2dr's Avatar
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      04-16-2012 11:13 AM #31
      Quote Originally Posted by InternetMeme View Post



      I went in to super turtle mode pre-surgery. When I got in to the OR the room was obscenely cold so the surgeon put a blanket on me with a warming tube to heat me up pre-surgery. Everything loosened up and went back to normal so no turtling. Can't vouch for turtling during the operation though
      There's a medical version of a fleshlight?

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      04-16-2012 11:16 AM #32
      Quote Originally Posted by Tornado2dr View Post
      There's a medical version of a fleshlight?
      You guys and the fleshlight

      It's a long tube they put under the blanket that puts out hot air. Explaining it doesn't make it sound any better

    33. Member Tornado2dr's Avatar
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      04-16-2012 11:18 AM #33
      Quote Originally Posted by InternetMeme View Post
      You guys and the fleshlight

      It's a long tube they put under the blanket that puts out
      go onnnnn

    34. 04-16-2012 12:04 PM #34

      He was like Oh my balls!
      This post was monitored and approved by the NSA

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      04-30-2012 09:14 AM #35



      Needle aspiration hasn't worked as well as I'd hoped. My right testicle is swollen to all hell and hurts like you wouldn't believe. Have an appointment with my urologist tomorrow at 11AM. Looks like surgery is the move now. 2-3 inch incision on my right testicle, remove the hydrocele and stitch me back up. Hopefully they want to operate asap. The pain is unbelievable

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