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    Thread: pooping

    1. Banned dubinsincuwereindiapers's Avatar
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      04-29-2012 06:22 PM #71
      Quote Originally Posted by InternetMeme View Post
      I have a bidet in my second bed bathroom... used it twice... will NEVER use it again. I has an anal fissure and was put on stool softener, hurt like hell to wipe so I used the bidet but wasn't too keen on the knobs. A literal super soaker blast to an anal fissure =
      Damn... That doesn't sound like fun

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      04-29-2012 06:33 PM #72
      I had a bad hemorrhoid flare up for about a week one time. It felt like I was crapping broken glass.

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      04-29-2012 06:34 PM #73
      Quote Originally Posted by TetsuoShima View Post
      exactly, the world is never the same once you know what a goatse is

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      04-29-2012 06:40 PM #74
      Ever produce a "beached whale" turd? Very satisfying.

      It's when you crap a turd so long that it sticks out of the water.

      I'm good for about 2-4 beached whales per year.

    5. Banned dubinsincuwereindiapers's Avatar
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      04-29-2012 06:43 PM #75
      Quote Originally Posted by Der Schaltwerks View Post
      I had a bad hemorrhoid flare up for about a week one time. It felt like I was crapping broken glass.
      I get them for a week or three approximately every 3-4 years. Not fun

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      04-29-2012 06:45 PM #76
      Quote Originally Posted by Der Schaltwerks View Post
      Ever produce a "beached whale" turd? Very satisfying.

      It's when you crap a turd so long that it sticks out of the water.

      I'm good for about 2-4 beached whales per year.
      Ninja edit like a boss

    7. Member MotownSVT's Avatar
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      04-29-2012 06:52 PM #77
      Quote Originally Posted by Der Schaltwerks View Post
      Ever produce a "beached whale" turd? Very satisfying.

      It's when you crap a turd so long that it sticks out of the water.

      I'm good for about 2-4 beached whales per year.
      I'm always so proud of those... last time I did it about 3 months ago I got the wife good. I was sitting there uncoiling it and I knew I was gonna beach it so I wiped up quick and then started screaming at her that the toilet was overflowing and she needed to run in here and help me out. She comes flying down the hall while I'm standing behind the door... I just started laughing as she looked into the toilet and sees the Loch Ness Turd peeking out. she started laughing and just says, "You f**king nasty motherf**ker..." and walks away.

      I was proud.
      Last edited by MotownSVT; 04-29-2012 at 07:03 PM.
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      Scene points are kind of like bitcoins... They really carry no value outside of the internet.

    8. Member sg207ptg's Avatar
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      04-29-2012 06:54 PM #78
      One square is all you need...
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      04-29-2012 07:06 PM #79
      Quote Originally Posted by Der Schaltwerks View Post
      Ever produce a "beached whale" turd? Very satisfying.

      It's when you crap a turd so long that it sticks out of the water.

      I'm good for about 2-4 beached whales per year.
      I get those every once in a while. It is very satisfying. I always feel like I need to take a nap afterwards.

    10. Banned vento86's Avatar
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      04-29-2012 07:10 PM #80
      I actually just took a poop.. It measured a 3 on the couric scale

    11. Member v408w's Avatar
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      04-29-2012 07:14 PM #81
      I **** in the shower, and stomp it down the drain. no germs in the toilet, bath tub cleaned instantly.
      A great man

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      04-29-2012 07:25 PM #82
      formerly jiffycake (banned fo' lyfe )

    13. Senior Member Hostile's Avatar
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      04-29-2012 07:50 PM #83
      Quote Originally Posted by v408w View Post
      I **** in the shower, and stomp it down the drain. no germs in the toilet, bath tub cleaned instantly.
      How does crapping in the shower clean your bath tub?

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      04-29-2012 07:51 PM #84
      Quote Originally Posted by vento86 View Post
      I actually just took a poop.. It measured a 3 on the couric scale

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      04-29-2012 07:54 PM #85
      Quote Originally Posted by Hostile View Post
      How does crapping in the shower clean your bath tub?
      because it has a constant flow of running water with soap going over it. and im wiping it clean with my feet
      A great man

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      04-29-2012 08:00 PM #86
      Quote Originally Posted by vento86 View Post
      I actually just took a poop.. It measured a 3 on the couric scale
      After drinking a six pack of High Life tallboys, tiny spicy chicken and kung pao noodles for dinner last night, and leftover tiny spicy chicken and kung pao for lunch today, I am expecting the worst when it comes time to get moving.

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      04-29-2012 08:19 PM #87
      Quote Originally Posted by Roboturner913 View Post
      After drinking a six pack of High Life tallboys, tiny spicy chicken and kung pao noodles for dinner last night, and leftover tiny spicy chicken and kung pao for lunch today, I am expecting the worst when it comes time to get moving.
      Couple cups of coffee will release that poision from your colon in short order

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      04-29-2012 09:55 PM #88
      Wow, three pages and counting..........

    19. Banned dubinsincuwereindiapers's Avatar
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      04-29-2012 10:01 PM #89
      Update....

      I just pooped and showered again

    20. Senior Member Laser04's Avatar
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      04-29-2012 10:04 PM #90
      Quote Originally Posted by dubinsincuwereindiapers View Post
      Update....

      I just pooped and showered again
      does your gf know about this thread? is she proud


    21. Banned dubinsincuwereindiapers's Avatar
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      04-29-2012 10:08 PM #91
      Quote Originally Posted by Laser04 View Post
      does your gf know about this thread? is she proud

      My girlfriend, and my wife BOTH know about this thread. I hide nothing breh

    22. Senior Member Laser04's Avatar
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      04-29-2012 10:11 PM #92
      Quote Originally Posted by dubinsincuwereindiapers View Post
      My girlfriend, and my wife BOTH know about this thread. I hide nothing breh
      what about your kid


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      04-29-2012 10:14 PM #93
      Quote Originally Posted by Laser04 View Post
      what about your kid

      My kid washes his ass after he poops; as do the aforementioned broads. My OCD hygiene is contagious

    24. Member RocknRolla's Avatar
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      04-29-2012 10:43 PM #94
      Quote Originally Posted by Der Schaltwerks View Post
      Ever produce a "beached whale" turd? Very satisfying.

      It's when you crap a turd so long that it sticks out of the water.

      I'm good for about 2-4 beached whales per year.
      Just as I was reading this thread on the toilet, I dropped one of these. Very satisfying.
      IG: jon.marin

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      04-29-2012 11:18 PM #95
      Hemorrhoids .

      ew

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      04-30-2012 12:34 AM #96


      Last edited by GTI_2.0T; 04-30-2012 at 12:36 AM.
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    27. Member Mk1Racer's Avatar
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      04-30-2012 08:17 AM #97
      I am going to poop now, then I'm getting in the shower.
      Quote Originally Posted by MRVW00
      my GF's love to show me their t!ts....and I like to motorboat them so much they call me Chris Craft...

    28. Banned dubinsincuwereindiapers's Avatar
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      04-30-2012 08:23 AM #98
      Quote Originally Posted by Mk1Racer View Post
      I am going to poop now, then I'm getting in the shower.

    29. Member Mk1Racer's Avatar
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      04-30-2012 08:43 AM #99
      Well that was very satisfying!

      Question for you sh*t & shower folks. Do you wipe even though you're jumping right in the shower?
      Quote Originally Posted by MRVW00
      my GF's love to show me their t!ts....and I like to motorboat them so much they call me Chris Craft...

    30. Banned dubinsincuwereindiapers's Avatar
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      04-30-2012 09:35 AM #100
      Quote Originally Posted by Mk1Racer View Post
      Well that was very satisfying!

      Question for you sh*t & shower folks. Do you wipe even though you're jumping right in the shower?
      Depends if it feels like there's a significant amount of 'residue' left behind. If its caked up back there then yes. If not then no.

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      04-30-2012 10:46 AM #101
      Quote Originally Posted by v408w View Post
      because it has a constant flow of running water with soap going over it. and im wiping it clean with my feet
      TDI

    32. Member NickWVU's Avatar
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      04-30-2012 11:30 AM #102
      Quote Originally Posted by dubinsincuwereindiapers View Post
      Be afraid.. Be very afraid..


      Get up earlier, and make those kids behave. I raised a little one, ran my construction business, and STILL managed to have a butt cleaner than most peoples hands


      This.. if you're pinching serious loafs, and not going consistently, at a regular time; you need to hydrate yourself, and eat more vegetables/fiber.

      Dead serious on this one. That is not healthy buddy. Excessive toxins packed away in your colon causes kidney, and liver problems, as well as puts you at a much higher risk for cancer.

      You need to dump more breh
      Truth. Everyone does, and I feel bad for the people who don't poop enough. My poop regimen is like clockwork, and the advent of wireless technology has made it significantly more enjoyable.

      Allow me to throw two more topics of discussion into this feces forum:

      Nature's platform/The poop box. Anyone prefer this style ( ) of pooping?

      Also, who's scared of pooping in public places? That must be crappy.

    33. Banned dubinsincuwereindiapers's Avatar
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      04-30-2012 11:38 AM #103
      Quote Originally Posted by NickWVU View Post
      TAlso, who's scared of pooping in public places? That must be crappy.
      Not scared of it per se', but I avoid pooping away from a shower for obvious reasons. The only times that i find myself using a public restroom to poop is if im sick; which doesn't happen more than once or twice a year MAX.

      In such rare instances I've developed an elaborate routine that involves copious amounts of toilet paper, hand soap, and about 15 minutes of shear panic

    34. Member NickWVU's Avatar
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      04-30-2012 11:46 AM #104
      Quote Originally Posted by dubinsincuwereindiapers View Post
      Not scared of it per se', but I avoid pooping away from a shower for obvious reasons. The only times that i find myself using a public restroom to poop is if im sick; which doesn't happen more than once or twice a year MAX.

      In such rare instances I've developed an elaborate routine that involves copious amounts of toilet paper, hand soap, and about 15 minutes of shear panic
      I'm with you on the shower angle, and luckily my first one is in the morning, so a shower always follows. Other than that I don't feel the need to shower afterwards, but I'm big on baby wipes. Got 'em in the office, the car, and at home. You just never know.

      As for public restrooms, I don't mind them at all. Aside from my work office, I see them as a chance not to be bashful with the noise factor.

      Have you ever farted really loud in a public restroom and heard someone down the line start laughing? Well I have, and it's fuc**** hilarious.

      CSB: Old college roommate has a public restroom pooping complex. Bad. I didn't realize how very bad it was until he had to drop a D when we were moving in. But wait, he didn't know who'd sat on the toilet seat. So it was off to walmart across town to buy and install a new seat before he could do the deed. /CSB

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      04-30-2012 12:00 PM #105
      Quote Originally Posted by dubinsincuwereindiapers View Post
      Depends if it feels like there's a significant amount of 'residue' left behind. If its caked up back there then yes. If not then no.
      so you willingly put more poop in your shower than necessary? That's it, I'm out.

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