Stossel should definitely buy that scooter!Sorry, I couldn't help but share this after it being shown to me by my younger brother. Please feel free to add your funny finds similiar to isht like this.
" Scooter for sale. Scooter? This isnít a scooter. This hog transforms you from a hipster with a messenger bag and skinny jeans, to Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator 2. Throw on your sunglasses and you and John Connor can go save the human race. All while getting roughly 80 miles to the gallon. The few scratches on the side of this bad-ass person magnet arenít from laying this bad boy down in a parking lot, or some sissy crap like that. I got them while in the highlands of southern Thailand racing ninjas. This sleek, ninja-fighting scooter has reached speeds of 55 mph while evading the Yakuza on the streets of Japan.
This beast is black. Why? Because Chuck Norris canít see black in the dark. If youíre looking for a stealth machine, this thing has your name written all over it. If being bad ass isnít your thing, then look elsewhere. I would tell you about how amazing all of the previous owners were, but Iím the only one. Thatís right. This thing has 125 cc of raw, unforgiving power. Itíll blow your little sisterís socks off. And Iím not afraid to throw down pink slips anytime, anywhere. I have mine in my sock drawer. Right next to my x-ray glasses and throwing stars.
Iíve racked up 2012 miles on the southern coast of California. Has it been serviced you ask? Of course I have, but get your mind out of the gutter perv. The bike has been serviced by a professional mechanic. And no it wasnít me. I only fix helicopter engines. What do I know about a Yamaha? The mechanicís name is Ross and heís as trustworthy as they come. I know this, because I left Spanish gold doubloons that I recovered from the bottom of the Caribbean with him for two weeks, and he only took a few.
$1900.00. I have the title in hand. No seriously, itís in my hand right now. If you think you have what it takes to be the next owner of this amazing machine, then give me a call or text at (801) 362-8791.
I also have a medium helmet that I won in a foot race down Mt. Kilimanjaro. I had to beat out three homeless kids and a Somali pirate with one leg. You can pick that up for an extra $50 if youíre one of ďthose peopleĒ thatís worried about protecting their head.
2009 Yamaha Zuma 125cc. 2012 miles."