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Thread: Just cleaned out my wife's car....I feel like Roy Batty at the end of Bladerunner

  1. Member
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    05-22-2012 01:52 AM #1
    I've seen things you people wouldn't believe.

    Many dead bugs, half a petrified doughnut, enough Bic pens to supply a small country, half a bag of dog food spilled in the trunk, the sticky residue of a dozen uncapped Diet Coke bottles.....a dessicated lizard.

    I'm going to sit in the shower and cry.

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    05-22-2012 01:54 AM #2
    The stuff people do to their cars. I sure hope your house isn't like that car's interior.

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    05-22-2012 01:56 AM #3
    well I sincerely hope she has one of those vehicles with the rubberized floor that you can just take a hose to and forget everything you saw in there.

    “I wasn't trying to wreck him, I just wanted to rattle his cage.”... Dale Earnhardt
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    It's all about the tires. I drove my M3 in the snow. With the summer tires on, it was the safest car in the world in the snow. In fact, it was a statue. You could not make it move with half an inch of snow on the ground.

  4. 05-22-2012 01:56 AM #4
    Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion?


  5. 05-22-2012 01:57 AM #5
    I feel you. I won't touch my wife's car, she can't ride in mine for 5 min. without leaving something in the door pocket or the little cup holders under the center console. I have no earthly idea where some of that crap comes from.

  6. Senior Member J-Tim's Avatar
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    05-22-2012 01:59 AM #6
    1. Wait 'till wife goes away for a weekend
    2. Invite as many people as you can.
    3. Ask them to make as much mess as possible.
    4. Dump it all in the kitchen.
    5. Wait for her to come back home.
    6. Say "Don't like it ? Stop leaving crap in the car then".

    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    7. Get ready for a divorce letter.
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    05-22-2012 01:59 AM #7
    Quote Originally Posted by aintnowookie View Post
    I sure hope your house isn't like that car's interior.


    Let's just say our next house is going to have at least one room that she is not allowed to enter, and that's where I will live.
    Last edited by Roboturner913; 05-22-2012 at 02:02 AM.

  8. Member eunos94's Avatar
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    05-22-2012 02:09 AM #8
    I want to get really upset and jump up on m'little soap box to decree that yet again "The Sexist Lounge" has risen to throw out unwarranted stereotypes but in this case I just can't. Women are frickin' slobs when it comes to cars.

    My mother's cars always look like a kitchen can exploded inside them. My sister's car isn't any better. 2 nieces with cars and they all have bizarre unidentifiable waste super glued to every surface. Ex girlfriends, ex-wife, friends... not one of them can keep a car even remotely clean. Even when I was selling cars we would cringe anytime we had to appraise a woman's car, knowing that we were at risk of being swallowed whole by what lives beneath the seats.

    Such a brilliant, beautiful, gentle people the women are but holy hell are they some disgusting slobs when it comes to cars.

    Last edited by eunos94; 05-22-2012 at 02:12 AM.
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  9. Member DoktaJoch's Avatar
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    05-22-2012 02:37 AM #9
    Even though this picture is quite old, I feel that it deserves to be posted here...


  10. Senior Member J-Tim's Avatar
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    05-22-2012 02:37 AM #10
    I guess I am lucky in that respect. Our car's interior is spotless and so is our house.
    Taking on them mountains. One hill at a time.
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  11. 05-22-2012 05:23 AM #11
    Haha, my ex was the same way, actually I think all but one treated their car like a trash can...

    The worst though, is when you have a lotion fanatic, my god the white film left all over the interior was horrible; I made her wash her hands before she got in my truck.
    Quote Originally Posted by Subwoofers View Post
    You must be a professional troll in real life.
    Quote Originally Posted by Crob View Post
    I'm more amused by the scientific formulas people bring up to justify why a BRZ lost to a Megane. Like really? All that college education you paid for and a BRZ is that important to you to go into some asinine explanation about how it's still a good track car?

  12. Member S0RRY's Avatar
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    05-22-2012 06:57 AM #12
    I see slobs of both genders. What blows my mind is that most, if not all of these people live in a relatively clean house in comparison. I don't understand how some of these people can drive with all of this **** in their car, I hate even having groceries in the passenger footwell.

  13. Member atomicalex's Avatar
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    05-22-2012 07:30 AM #13
    I cleaned my husband's car a few times.

    Once, because he has this bad habit of not screwing down caps on bottles tightly. Frickin' Power Service additive all over the hatch.

    Once, because it smelled funny. I found mushrooms growing on frenchfries on one of the rear mats that got pushed up under the front seat.

    Once, because I was being nice and was in a great mood from just doing a full detail on my car, so why not share the love with his car? Sand. Everywhere. We didn't even live near a beach.

    That was the end of that. He keeps his cars a lot cleaner now. I left that fuel additive-soaked rear carpet in there for a long time.
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    05-22-2012 07:39 AM #14
    My wife keeps her car pretty much spotless. Mainly because she's thankful that she always has something decent to drive to work that never leaves her stranded.

    Its become more difficult with kids, but we're instilling that value in our oldest child so she can help us.

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    05-22-2012 07:53 AM #15
    I've never had a girl friend who kept a clean car. However, my ability to keep my car clean comes from my Mom, so it's kinda weird.
    2.0T... it's back!

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    05-22-2012 08:04 AM #16
    Wait until you guys have kids if you think it's bad now - I go to clean my wife's car and not only is there her junk I have to clean, it's all the crap the two kids have left in the back seat and/or floor. I've found moldy chocolate milk on the carpets, french fries, left over chicken nuggets, pancake, etc.

    The other thing I would add is that years and years ago, I used to have to clean bathrooms. The men's room was never that bad, but when I had to clean the women's room, oh my goodness Counter was always trashed, toilet paper all over the place, used tampons/maxi pads lying around, it was nasty.

  17. Member clutchrider's Avatar
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    05-22-2012 08:11 AM #17
    I do my wife's car about once a week. She actually takes the initiative and will sometimes do it before I get to it cause she knows I can't stand it. But in the end it's her car. It's not bad, mostly DD straw wrappers and napkins, change, and her work clothes that she doesn't bring in the house after the gym.

    Funny contrast is that there is never anything in my car, it looks like it is sitting on a dealer lot because I leave nothing in sight.

  18. Member vasillalov's Avatar
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    05-22-2012 08:24 AM #18
    With all the people who find moldy, rotten, petrified food items in their cars, it sounds to me that there is a fundamental rule violated there: ABSOLUTELY no food or drinks in the car.

    Enforce that one simple rule and you will find that the cars will no longer look and smell like pig houses.

  19. Member MKV Aaron's Avatar
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    05-22-2012 08:25 AM #19
    The best part is how my wife gets annoyed if i suggest we clean her car...

  20. 05-22-2012 08:31 AM #20
    Quote Originally Posted by SWFalken View Post
    I feel you. I won't touch my wife's car, she can't ride in mine for 5 min. without leaving something in the door pocket or the little cup holders under the center console. I have no earthly idea where some of that crap comes from.
    Same here.
    Quote Originally Posted by vasillalov View Post
    With all the people who find moldy, rotten, petrified food items in their cars, it sounds to me that there is a fundamental rule violated there: ABSOLUTELY no food or drinks in the car.
    Enforce that one simple rule and you will find that the cars will no longer look and smell like pig houses.
    It is hard not to drink anything when you are in the car for ~3 hours.
    But mostly I have water or tea, and I always cap them after I take a sip.

  21. Member 85vrcoupe's Avatar
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    05-22-2012 08:32 AM #21
    I feel your pain. Wife plus 6 kids = poor excursion

    The half eaten donuts, soda/water bottles, papers, etc. My favorite is a half drinken fast food drink that the cup falls apart and the holder is now filled with syrup.

    I hate going in my wifes truck.

  22. 05-22-2012 08:39 AM #22
    Quote Originally Posted by vasillalov View Post
    With all the people who find moldy, rotten, petrified food items in their cars, it sounds to me that there is a fundamental rule violated there: ABSOLUTELY no eating or drinking anything besides water in the car.

    Enforce that one simple rule and you will find that the cars will no longer look and smell like pig houses.
    FTFY

    Because
    Quote Originally Posted by Subwoofers View Post
    You must be a professional troll in real life.
    Quote Originally Posted by Crob View Post
    I'm more amused by the scientific formulas people bring up to justify why a BRZ lost to a Megane. Like really? All that college education you paid for and a BRZ is that important to you to go into some asinine explanation about how it's still a good track car?

  23. Member SnowGTI2003's Avatar
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    05-22-2012 08:42 AM #23
    I JUST cleaned the CR-V last night and came across the same situation.

    -Door pockets jammed with garbage
    -Sticky unknown substance in the cupholders
    -Piles of chewed fingernails on the floor mats by the drivers seat
    -Child seats filled with enough food/crumbs to feed several mice for a year
    -Petrified french fies under the passenger seat.
    -Piles of dirt/sand

    Her initial complaint was that the car smelt funny and that there was something wrong with the engine due to the smell. I checked the plugs, scanned the ECU and gave it a test drive only to find it running just fine. The smell was due to the funk generated by that mess and three little boys.

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    05-22-2012 08:42 AM #24
    I've probably hurt a few feelings by refusing to get in to these kinds of cars. But I'm not even touching the door handles
    Quote Originally Posted by phryxis View Post
    sprayed it on, waited some time, and proceeded to go at it with a scraper, some pliers, and a lot of f-ing hard work.

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    05-22-2012 08:45 AM #25
    The latest my wife's car has is the bath and body works spray bottle that decided to leak from the heat all inside the door card. It's a sticky, stinky mess. It smells okay when there is a little sprayed on the lady, but it's an awful smell when half a bottle leaked into the car.
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  26. 05-22-2012 08:47 AM #26
    Quote Originally Posted by cryption View Post
    It smells okay when there is a little sprayed on the lady, but it's an awful smell when half a bottle leaked into the car.
    Awe, it is not that bad with all the doors open.

  27. Member dieselraver's Avatar
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    05-22-2012 08:50 AM #27
    when i had my cars, the rabbit, GTI, the 328xi i used to keep them immaculate, now with the kids... and i have my outback... i just don't have that "love" i used to for the car, i have to admit its become a hoarding ground for kids junk and necessities needed for them.

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    05-22-2012 08:56 AM #28
    My cars I keep clean. My husband's truck gets pretty gross on the inside (soda spillage, food wrappers, half-empty water bottles) but I try to stay on top of it. My house is usually kind of a mess though, so I guess I'm from opposite world
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  29. Member Slipstream's Avatar
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    05-22-2012 08:56 AM #29
    Suddenly, the "hose out" interior of the Honda Element seems like a great wife car...
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    05-22-2012 08:59 AM #30
    Quote Originally Posted by vasillalov View Post
    With all the people who find moldy, rotten, petrified food items in their cars, it sounds to me that there is a fundamental rule violated there: ABSOLUTELY no kids. EVER.

    Enforce that one simple rule and you will find that the cars will no longer look and smell like pig houses.
    FTFY

    /the gf had the "kid" talk the other night ... I think we're safe for another several years ... now to convince her that the DINK life is better than having kids.

  31. Senior Member FlashRedGLS1.8T's Avatar
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    05-22-2012 09:01 AM #31
    In all honesty my wife keeps her car just a dirty as she attempts to keep the house. The only difference is I own 1/2 of the house so I give a d@mn about that.
    I'll only clean her car when I need to use it or we are going on a trip.

  32. Member Sortafast's Avatar
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    05-22-2012 09:01 AM #32
    Quote Originally Posted by Slipstream View Post
    Suddenly, the "hose out" interior of the Honda Element seems like a great wife car...
    You can't hose out the interior of the Element. It has no drain holes, and there is electrical wiring beneath the flooring. You could damp sponge it out, though. Or use a kitchen mop.

  33. Member Deserion's Avatar
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    05-22-2012 09:02 AM #33
    My partner does this in my cars too. Soda cans, non-food wrappers, receipts. At least he doesn't leave food in them. It annoys the hell out of me. Sometimes I have clutter, but usually it's stored away in bins or compartments so it's not just out there.

    But his car? Total mess. Just. Damn. Water bottles, non-food wrappers, straw wrappers, etc. A total mess and it just irks me how dirty it is. But I get the joy of cleaning it before it goes up for sale.

    However, I have taught my mother well and she makes me proud. The interior of her car is usually very clean, though it smells like a Cracker Barrel store inside with it's cinnamon & spice air freshener.

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    05-22-2012 09:05 AM #34
    I used to detail cars at a body shop, so whatever came in for even the smallest bit of repair work was cleaned.

    I have had to wear face masks, painters suits, and gloves taped up to my elbows for some cars. Not even joking.
    Some people are disgusting slobs.
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    05-22-2012 09:06 AM #35
    Worst thing I ever find in my van are the peel-off lids from yogurt cups. They end up in the bottom of cupholders and they're just slightly nasty even though they don't have any actual yogurt on them. I find them all over the house too.
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