I don't understand why you wouldn't buy a van here. What's the dread? It's better, in every measurable way, than a large crossover. Including handling and fun to drive. Seriously. Vans have a lower CG and usually have lower-profile wheels and tires.
Crossovers like that are for people who are too vain, egos too fragile, to buy the right tool for the job like a MAN would.