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    Thread: Every time someone says the Corrado is a future classic...as story

    1. Member HeadlinerG60's Avatar
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      08-30-2012 04:23 PM #1
      ...As a former Corrado aficionado, I often thought the car was a tremendous driver and a surefire classic…

      To preface this story, I was raised in a family that was staunchly against owning “normal” cars. The Datsun 280z was as close to normal as my parents’ garage would be. They had a myriad of Jaguars, Alfa Romeos, MGs and even a Delorean. My first car purchase was a Merkur XR4ti that I spent the greater portion of my high school life working for in order to buy Sierra Cosworth goodies for it. I eventually inherited a pair of XJ6s and an XJS v12 coupe and worked every waking hour outside of school to pay for gas, insurance and maintenance. As nice as those cars were, I quite nearly broke my neck when I saw a Corrado for the very first time. I swooned over its swollen arches and sweet swooping backside that ended abruptly. It was quirky – the perfect combination of sexy and cute that would get Steve Carell laid.

      After numerous years of lusting over it as a new car during my high school years, I finally procured my own in 2002 after a lengthy search. I had been contemplating over a 944 Turbo and a 914 for quite some time when I simply gave up and settled on satisfying my Corrado urges. The example I bought was OK. It was complete. It was stock and it had a stunning blue on blue combo that would’ve made an ‘80s K car jealous. Every little switch worked – even the moon roof. It even came with a stack of receipts for maintenance. It even made 380 mile drive home without a hiccup. Oh, by the way, it was a G60 model. I know, you’re thinking why the G60? Why not the plush and upscale VR6 model? Why risk the headache? Because I wanted the car that I fell in love with back when a Bulls championship seemed nearly impossible. I had achieved an automotive milestone and bought the car I lusted after. And it sucked.

      The morning after driving it home, the car wouldn’t start. The battery was drained by the faulty automatic seatbelt relay. People in the late ‘80s/early ‘90s were too stupid to put their seatbelts on so the cars had to do it for them. The problem in the Corrado was that it also meant having your head busted open as you entered the car. Open the door; squat and fall into the car cut your head open on the seatbelt. That’s only the beginning of the rewarding driving experience the car offered. Being a front-wheel drive “sports coupe/hatch”, it had the typical under steer issues. Take a corner hard and throttle through and you could enjoy a push towards the wrong side of the shoulder. The steering feel was OK, but only in the same way your brother-in-law smacking your kid is OK. The shifter felt lost. Like when you have an errant dryer sheet in the leg of your pants. Except that dryer sheet isn’t a dryer sheet at all; it’s a pair of your wife’s panties that you pull out of the leg of your pants just as you’ve sat down in a meeting. You don’t know where to put it. It’s awkward.

      And then it gets better. Things start to break, as you’d expect on an older car. Except they’d break while you were sleeping, or watching Cinemax at 2am with the volume set at 2 as to not wake the children. Imagine waking up to a garage floor full of coolant as you set out to go to work, or wonder why the crankshaft pulley is dancing about the engine bay after you turn the key over. And then the spoiler stops working so you can’t show the person that you’re passing in the slow lane that you’re driving faster than they. Then the engine eats a spark plug and bounces it around like someone trying to figure out where to go in City Hall.

      So then you realize this car drives like a brick in slush and needs improvement, so you start modifying it. The engine gets rebuilt; the ECU gets remapped with Heiankyo Alien for Gameboy, and a more robust supercharger finds its way into the bay. The car gets lowered and stiffened which only amplifies the head splitting entering and exiting game and the entire interior gets updated with leather from a VR car. Fresh paint, bigger brakes, updated lighting and wheels create a stunning package. So then you have the VW equivalent of Emma Stone with rampant diarrhea. So you’ve spent $14K for a car that looks great, drives like a BBQ grill being thrown off your back deck and defecates fluid everywhere for no reason whatsoever.

      And I’ve driven more than a dozen VR versions and more than a dozen G60 models since then. And they’re all awful. I don’t care what you say. They look good, sure, but they’re ripe with enough annoying problems that they aren’t worth the headache. So every time someone asks what car they think was under-appreciated or will be a future classic, some chucklehead says the Corrado and they post a pic of it. Then three other chuckleheads agree and only one chucklehead has ever actually driven one but one of them has a non-running “project car” Corrado sitting in their garage…and it will be there for the next 8 years because parts are expensive and 12 out of 8 people are broke and then they will sell it and buy a MKIV with a quarter of a million miles but buy rims for it that cost more than their annual income…I mean, that’s the scene. And at the end of their life they’ll finally realize that what they really regret more than anything besides using shampoo for lube in the shower is that they really wanted a Porsche 944 Turbo and they settled for a Corrado.



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      08-30-2012 04:26 PM #2
      Shampoo really isn't that bad as far as using non-lube substances for lube goes.
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    3. Member Señor Peligro's Avatar
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      08-30-2012 04:26 PM #3
      Applaud this man.
      Now go get your shinebox

    4. Member Omnilith's Avatar
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      08-30-2012 04:30 PM #4
      I rather enjoyed that read.

    5. Moderator rich!'s Avatar
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      08-30-2012 04:37 PM #5
      still was a fun car to own...



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      08-30-2012 04:42 PM #6
      Quote Originally Posted by HeadlinerG60 View Post
      buy a MKIV with a quarter of a million miles but buy rims for it that cost more than their annual income…I mean, that’s the scene.

    7. 08-30-2012 04:44 PM #7


      i have to agree - i loved the look of a corrado but not much else
      Boiler Up!

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    8. Member MikkiJayne's Avatar
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      08-30-2012 04:44 PM #8
      Quote Originally Posted by HeadlinerG60 View Post
      So you’ve spent $14K for a car that looks great, drives like a BBQ grill being thrown off your back deck and defecates fluid everywhere for no reason whatsoever.


      For the record, both my Corrados are broken
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    9. Member builtforsin's Avatar
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      08-30-2012 04:45 PM #9
      That's so true, but as I read on I started missing all of the stupid things my g60 did that pissed me off. Except for smacking my head off the seat belt every time I got in/out, that sucked. Sometimes I look for another one, but I end up looking for more e30 stuff instead.

    10. Banned slide13's Avatar
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      08-30-2012 04:45 PM #10
      this is why i love my civic.

    11. Member Seabird's Avatar
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      08-30-2012 04:46 PM #11
      I am JIMP.

    12. Member NWarty's Avatar
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      08-30-2012 04:50 PM #12
      Quote Originally Posted by HeadlinerG60 View Post
      So then you have the VW equivalent of Emma Stone with rampant diarrhea.
      That is sig worthy right there

      Awesome post OP
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    13. Member 16V Hare's Avatar
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      08-30-2012 04:51 PM #13
      Quote Originally Posted by Omnilith View Post
      I rather enjoyed that read.
      That was quite entertaining.
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    14. Member Robski92's Avatar
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      08-30-2012 04:54 PM #14
      Great read oh and YOLO.

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      08-30-2012 04:55 PM #15
      I think every Corrado owner who "woke up" and "bailed" on "the dream", can relate to this story.

      As a former VR owner, I can honestly say I would never go back. It was an odd car that grabbed attention, but then again so does a Bricklin.

      For the record the person who bought my Corrado was some high school kid who hopped out of his friend's (who was the "mechanic" of the duo) 944 Turbo. As they were inspect my car (which just had the transmission rebuilt and sunroof re-sealed) their 944 started pissing coolant all over my drive way, then the sweet smoky goodness of it hitting every hot part of the engine bay began. They apologized and I offered them some more coolant.

      The ended up buying my Corrado, I offered to sell them my Bently. But they didn't want to spend the $40 I was selling it for. Poor bastards.

      Quote Originally Posted by FissionMailed View Post
      Shampoo really isn't that bad as far as using non-lube substances for lube goes.
      PS- Conditioner works better.

    16. 08-30-2012 04:58 PM #16
      If you had an XJS v12, the Corrado should feel like a Honda Civic
      "We are each free to believe what we want, and it's my view that my simplest explanation is: THERE IS NO GOD, no one created the universe and no one directs our fate." - Stephen Hawkings

    17. Member corrado-correr's Avatar
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      08-30-2012 04:59 PM #17
      i have no idea what your talking about
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    18. Member rynodyno312's Avatar
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      08-30-2012 04:59 PM #18
      FWIW, the 944 turbo would have been a maintenance headache as well, and the parts would have been ridiculously expensive.

    19. Member PlatinumGLS's Avatar
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      08-30-2012 05:00 PM #19
      This should be a sticky in the Corrado forum.

    20. Member PlatinumGLS's Avatar
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      08-30-2012 05:01 PM #20
      Quote Originally Posted by rynodyno312 View Post
      FWIW, the 944 turbo would have been a maintenance headache as well, and the parts would have been ridiculously expensive.
      But, Porsche

    21. Member mellbergVWfan's Avatar
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      08-30-2012 05:04 PM #21
      That's why I bought a Scirocco. Drives better, still has good looks, reliability is about the same maybe slightly better, but it's more manageable. One day I'll have a Tornado Red SLC to park next to it. Even if it's only for a little while.
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      08-30-2012 05:04 PM #22
      Quote Originally Posted by rynodyno312 View Post
      FWIW, the 944 turbo would have been a maintenance headache as well, and the parts would have been ridiculously expensive.
      See my post about who I sold my car too

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      08-30-2012 05:06 PM #23
      Quote Originally Posted by builtforsin View Post
      Sometimes I look for another one, but I end up looking for more e30 stuff instead.
      So much this.

    24. Member bherman13's Avatar
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      08-30-2012 05:07 PM #24
      Quote Originally Posted by Omnilith View Post
      I rather enjoyed that read.
      +1 Good article, OP.

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      08-30-2012 05:07 PM #25
      Well done, great read. The scary thing is that I still want one.
      Keep Calm and Chive On

    26. Member Dan92SLC's Avatar
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      08-30-2012 05:07 PM #26
      I lived this nightmare. For 4 years. Starting in the Clinton administration, before these cars were all beat to death.

      I went through all of the Corrado 'stations of the cross'.

      A neat car, and the VR6 really was far superior to the G60...but...never again.

    27. Member rynodyno312's Avatar
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      08-30-2012 05:07 PM #27
      Quote Originally Posted by PlatinumGLS View Post
      But, Porsche
      Oh I understand. My buddy had a base '86 944 and it was one of the most fun to drive cars I have ever driven. It had all of 150hp, the shifter was terrible, and my GSR was considerably quicker; but I drove that 944 every time I could. The steering feedback was fantastic, the brakes were great, and it was a very confidence-inspiring car to drive.

      That damn thing always needed some sort of niggly little repair though, and ultimately got to be not worth the trouble.

    28. Member simple's Avatar
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      08-30-2012 05:07 PM #28
      I'm bringing this back just for you HeadlinerG60:



      That was a super funny commentary.
      If you can't measure it, you can't understand it; if you can't understand it, you can't control it.

    29. Banner Advertiser brad@fifteen52's Avatar
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      08-30-2012 05:08 PM #29
      Picturing a Corrado in a garage, falling apart on its own while its owner is asleep, well...rarely has the English language been used to such wonderful effect

    30. 08-30-2012 05:10 PM #30
      Who said classics have to be headache-free?
      Quote Originally Posted by Aseras View Post
      I got the (RX8) engine replaced at 112K miles not because it failed but because I hit a pig on the interstate.

    31. Member Señor Peligro's Avatar
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      08-30-2012 05:12 PM #31
      Quote Originally Posted by Waarp View Post
      Who said classics have to be headache-free?
      Who said it's a classic?
      Now go get your shinebox

    32. Member 03GTI4Me's Avatar
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      08-30-2012 05:13 PM #32
      I was going to write tl;dr, but then I decided not to be a tool and actually read the post.



      Good read.
      -Says the VW owner

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      08-30-2012 05:14 PM #33
      Quote Originally Posted by Señor Peligro View Post
      Who said it's a classic?
      Chuckleheads.

    34. Member 90 GT-G60's Avatar
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      08-30-2012 05:15 PM #34
      Bah, (original owner rant)
      I drove my 90 Corrado for 10 years and over 200k miles and I had nothing out of the ordinary go wrong with it. It had Nuespeeds stage III chip and pulley on it for most of it's life
      Problems:
      I had a bad hall sender on the distributor. Replaced distributor
      I took the original still boosting, never been touched Gladder off the car to use it as a core for a supposedly High performance, high boost, modified charger from HSM motor sports (anyone remember Howard?) Hence my user name it was a GT0-G60 Twin Belt with an 83 mm intake.
      Well that lasted only 40k miles before it started knocking. It did however put out a $h!tload of boost, 18-20 Psi was seen on the gage when I attended a Dyno Day at AWE.

      Other than tires, suspension, brake, exhaust upgrades etc. It ran like any other car that had over 100k miles on it. The only time it left me stranded was when I broke the half shaft at the track.

      I replaced it with another 90 G60 with 155k on it, that car I still have and was running fine but I had some oil leaks I think it has just over 200k on it, but I haven't driven that car in over a decade.
      I hope to have that car back on the road but with a TDI transplant from my passat. I just can't get rid of it.

      So my experience is quite different from the majority.


      But I did enjoy your post!
      Last edited by 90 GT-G60; 08-30-2012 at 05:20 PM.
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    35. Member HeadlinerG60's Avatar
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      08-30-2012 05:17 PM #35
      Quote Originally Posted by Señor Peligro View Post
      Who said it's a classic?
      EXACTLY my point! It's classic in the same way your mother pulling a wooden spoon out to smack you with when you're 8, except you're 30, now. It's classic in the same sense that your iPod is being replaced by Pocket Rockers. It's not classic. It will never be classic. Only the evaporating cult of buttbags that think it's a tremendously good car will consider it a classic. And they'll be dumb enough to pay a premium for it. It's like paying for a defective kidney and hoping that it functions properly. It's like hoping for a lifetime of happiness after your girlfriend moves in 8 days after you've met. It's just ludicrous.

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