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Thread: Shopping Amazon and I Come Across the BEST Customer Review...EVAR!!!!!

  1. Member LaFerrari's Avatar
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    09-25-2012 01:48 PM #1
    I'm a bit bored at lunch today so I decided to start shopping cheapo watches (calculators to be exact) while I had a free moment and came across this gem


    62 of 73 people found the following review helpful
    Best watch ever., April 27, 2011
    By savengerThis review is from: Casio Men's Watch DBC610GA-1DF (Watch)
    I'm a used car salesman by trade. My complete lack of secondary education means that I'm totally incapable of doing basic arithmetic in my head, but the nature of my business means I often need make quick financial calculations on the down-low without arousing the suspicions of my prospective customers. The buttons are easy to push, even with my greasy, yellow stained, dirt-caked fingernails. It's hard to imagine living without this watch or having to wear an inferior one which would sacrifice my smooth style. The price of this watch also complies with my spending habits, as I would never spend more than a dime on anything unless it was an irresistible bargain.

    This watch is the perfect mix of functionality and stylish looks for me. The metallic gold enamel matches my collection of enormous faux-gold chains which I wear around my neck every day perfectly. I like to have my shirt unbuttoned at the top so the ladies can see my wads of thick black chest hair so they know how virile I am, and after purchasing this watch I also roll up my sleeves to show off this bad boy along with my guns. The profile and width of the watch face are perfect so that it rises above my tufts of arm-hair for easy access to the buttons, and it's big enough to hide some of my fungal heat rash and ingrown hairs.

    The telememo function is especially handy. It's comforting to know I'm always prepared for whenever a gaggle of scantily clad babes are so impressed with my ethnic charm and rugged good looks that they need to give me their phone numbers. So far this hasn't happened, but I figured it's best to be prepared with 50 phone number spaces just in case.

    Also included is a countdown timer and stopwatch, both of which are useful for avoiding arguments about sharing with the boys when the monthly penthouse subscription arrives. The schedule feature is also useful for predicting exactly when this is likely to happen.

    This watch is certified hair grease resistant by me. I use at least half a tub of hair grease every day, and I do not remove this watch during application. So far there have been no problems. I also do not remove this watch when I take my bi-weekly shower, so it appears to be highly water resistant, if not totally waterproof. I even wore it during a spray-tan once, with no negative effects except for a stripe of pasty white skin when I take the watch off, which doesn't matter because I only take it off when nobody is looking. This thing is made to last.

    It's worth noting that the watch also has a flat stainless steel back, which I've polished with brasso so that it now doubles as a mirror which I can use to grease my thin mustache or see under the cubicle door in the ladies restroom. The light is useful when lurking in the corners of dark bedrooms as it is just the right brightness enough to see the time without destroying your precious night vision. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
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    I thought about ordering the watch for nostalgic sake but after reading the review I've decided I must have one!
    If you want to win, hire a Finn.

  2. Senior Member Aonarch's Avatar
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    09-25-2012 04:28 PM #2
    DAMN!
    Quote Originally Posted by Jeremy Clarkson
    (On the Monaro) *licks hood Mmm. Love it. I love it! Someone in Australia had a picture of me and said, "Lets build that bloke a car!"
    ██████████████████
    ECSTUNING | GO APR

  3. 09-26-2012 10:01 AM #3
    you know how i know the OP is a hipster......

    hilarious review BTW

  4. Member LaFerrari's Avatar
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    09-26-2012 04:40 PM #4
    Quote Originally Posted by robhurlburt View Post
    you know how i know the OP is a hipster......

    hilarious review BTW
    Because I was looking at a calculator watch

    Yep, total hipster
    If you want to win, hire a Finn.

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