Many years ago a buddy talked me into going to H-town's first all nude club called The Mustang. It was out by one of the airports in a really skeevy part of town. It was also BYOB (all nudes can't get a liquor license here), but they'll sell you a cup with ice for $8. Anyway, they had some "porn star" I'd never heard of performing named Crystal Wilder. She was about 5' with big fake tits and giant blonde hair. I think this was 93 or 94 and I guess this chick had her day back in the 80s. Still, she was pretty hot and didn't suffer too badly from the run down drug face most of these girls succumb to.
Anyway, she was offering "lap" photos for $20 - she'd sit on your lap, buck nekkid, legs closed while her manager shot a Polaroid. My buddy and I were wasted at this point (we each brought a bottle of Jack) and decided to get pictures with her. I was tapped so he loaned me the 20.
My pic was lame, but his was pretty funny. He was actually holding her in his arms with his tongue sticking out and this crazy face. We laughed all the way home and then passed out drunk.
The dumb m'fer left the photos on the couch where his wife saw them. When we got up the next morning, she had torn them both up. I was like, "Bitch, why'd you tear mine up? I'm not married to you."
A little later we were watching the game and he turned to me and said, "You still owe me $20."
I said, "No way, man. Your WIFE owes you $20. Good luck with that."
We laughed about that for years.