Next time leave 2 hot pockets in the fridge, make sure you leave the following note attached:
"To whom it may concern:
One of these hot pockets was injected with cat piss. I know which one, do you?"
Back on topic:
OP, tell your friend to move out of that sh*t-hole town... it's surrounded by even greater sh*t-hole towns and cities (e.g. Elizabeth, Newark, Irvington etc...)



Latest Article: Historically Accurate. Apparently Wildly Inappropriate.



