Bob Lutz, the man behind TCL favorites such as the E30 M3, Viper, GTO, and Volt knows how to make cars that make you effing want to effing own them. Today Lutz has once again achieved the miraculous, perhaps the pinnacle of his career, by saving the struggling Fisker Karma from being brought behind the shed outside and shaken vigorously to death.
With a stroke of genius brought forth during a strong hit on one of his favorite peyote-loaded cigars, Lutz imagined a breathtaking turnaround strategy for the struggling Fisker. In Lutz's instantly iconic words, "The problem with the Karma is that it sucks."
Like all of Lutz's plans that have turned into hallowed legends of the automotive community, Lutz's plan for Fisker is as daring as jumping out of an airplane without a parachute. Fortunately Lutz's experience with daring leaps of faith is as good as they get, so everything should be fine.
In a press conference held in Lutz's personal hanger full of fighter jets and sports cars, Lutz revealed the brilliance of his plan. He started by describing how he is going to remove all of the things that were supposed to be special about the Karma. Battery -- who needs one? Electric motor -- girly men like Bieber are too small a market for Lutz' plans.
He then went on to describe the crux of his plan revolves around taking all that is good in the world and using it to power the car, namely the Chevy Small Block V8. Lutz said everything else in the world is crap and/or evil terrorists. If Lutz says it, it must be true folks! When you're telling your grandsons about how Lutz put the world in its place, remember you heard his most profound revelation right here.
As he revealed the car to the world, all were awed as it looked the exact same as before. Shouts like "Brilliant!" and "Breath taking!" filled the air. As Lutz spoke the car's solemn name, "Dest...", one person in the audience died in shock. Lutz temporarily interrupted the press conference to resurrect the dead man, before continuing on with the new car's name, "Destino." Several more people died, and Lutz also resurrected them before finishing his speech.
Lutz concluded the conference with the boring technical details like price, which he said is a paltry $180,000. Usually writers have to say something like "we look forward to telling you what we think after our full test of the Destino," but when another one of Lutz's cars comes along, we don't have to do that. Before even laying hands on the car, we know, on a gut level, that it is the best car the world has ever seen or will see, at least until Lutz makes another one.