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    Thread: I don't want to be a father....help!!

    1. 01-20-2013 11:32 AM #1
      About a month ago this cute girl approached me at Target, and it ended with me getting her phone number and making plans for the weekend. Like clockwork, on the third date we went back to my apartment. I broke out the Moet & Chandon, and we started making love. She claimed she was on the pill, but I wrapped my willy anyway.

      Long story short- the condom broke, I gave her $50 for the morning after pill (her checking account balance is something like $11 and she makes minimum wage at PetSmart), now that I broke up with her she claims she's pregnant and keeping it.

      I've tried reasoning with her (you can imagine how well that's worked ), saying that carrying a living human being to term is NOT a good way to get back at me, and child support payments will be something like $650 a month (if that, based on a calculator I found for DC). I'm only 20, I don't want to be a father yet. What do I do?
      Last edited by Angry_Birds; 01-20-2013 at 11:35 AM.

    2. Moderator rich!'s Avatar
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      01-20-2013 11:45 AM #2
      time for
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    3. Member
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      01-20-2013 11:49 AM #3
      1-find the nearest set of stairs
      2-push her down
      3-????
      4-profit

    4. Member RollingInDubs's Avatar
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      01-20-2013 11:49 AM #4

    5. Member hognhominy's Avatar
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      01-20-2013 11:52 AM #5


      or something a little more subtle

      Last edited by hognhominy; 01-20-2013 at 12:04 PM.

    6. 01-20-2013 11:58 AM #6
      Quote Originally Posted by Angry_Birds View Post
      What do I do?
      Get your $50 back.

    7. Member Sir UNBANNED_GERBIL M.B.'s Avatar
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      01-20-2013 12:01 PM #7

    8. Member strskatr05's Avatar
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      01-20-2013 12:02 PM #8
      This is probably the last place you want to post something like this.

      I sincerely wish you the best of luck.
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    9. Member GTiTOM's Avatar
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      01-20-2013 12:04 PM #9
      Does she have friends or parents who can help you reason with her?

      Also, if she's really having it, get a paternity test. Pretty sure you can get it prenatally too.

    10. 01-20-2013 12:04 PM #10
      90% chance it's the classic " I need attention game" been there done that.

      That being said, stay the course. Stay in contact, give her the attention (to a point) that she wants. Once the game is up walk away. Do not do anything else with her. Even take her to dinner to make her feel comfortable until she lets up on the gig. Then walk away. No way for her to claim anything against you.

      If this is for real, which I have serious doubts based on internet forum data, Still stay the course. Last thing you can do right now is panic. If this is actually real it's too late for morning after and too early for other alternative measures. Stay Calm!!!!1

      As Maury would say " You are not the father!" could be possible as well.

      0
      TL.DR Calm down, wait a week, play nice, wait for "real" results. Then Profit.

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      01-20-2013 12:05 PM #11
      Quote Originally Posted by Angry_Birds View Post
      I broke out the Moet & Chandon
      ...
      I'm only 20, ... What do I do?
      Stop drinking underage.

      Also,

      Quote Originally Posted by TASVW View Post
      Get your $50 back.
      this.

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      01-20-2013 12:11 PM #12
      Great thread will read it again.
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      01-20-2013 12:21 PM #13
      Enjoy being called daddy.
      Regarding DD'ing a tuned Evo:
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      01-20-2013 12:38 PM #14
      I watched Knocked Up on tv last night......I have nothing more to add. Good luck.
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    15. Member Sir UNBANNED_GERBIL M.B.'s Avatar
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      01-20-2013 12:41 PM #15



      OP's new best friend

    16. 01-20-2013 12:43 PM #16
      The good part is that your kid will be on their own when you are only 38. You will be done when most are starting.

      Tl;dr

      Wait 18 years, then profit?

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      01-20-2013 12:44 PM #17
      Just like you didn't trust her being on the pill, you shouldn't have trusted her to take the morning after pill. You had to go to the drugstore with her and see her take it.

      Either way, I doubt she is pregnant...


      But if she is, you're basically attached to another object by an incline plane wrapped helically around an axis.

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      01-20-2013 01:00 PM #18
      Would like to see pics of said attractively promiscuous PetSmart employee.

      Nothing says true romance like the Target hookup

      Also if she facks somebody at target likely she has options in the 2 wk range that don't include you.
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      01-20-2013 01:02 PM #19
      Quote Originally Posted by kerridwen View Post


      But if she is, you're basically attached to another object by an incline plane wrapped helically around an axis.


      Demand a paternity test from her now. And what the heck are you doing buying M&C at 20 years old? And more importantly, popping it for a minimum-wage girl that works at PetSmart?

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      01-20-2013 01:14 PM #20

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      01-20-2013 01:16 PM #21
      [IMG]http://cdn.******************/instances/400x/22264539.jpg[/IMG]

      And how has nobody demanded pics of OP's soon to be baby mama yet?

    22. Member White Jetta's Avatar
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      01-20-2013 01:29 PM #22
      Always, and I mean always finish in the bum.
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      01-20-2013 01:34 PM #23
      Start planning the baby shower

      Tapatalk 2!

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      01-20-2013 01:35 PM #24
      Exactly what the wise man above me said. Or the back, face, boobies, feet, her wall, toothbrush, whatever.

      Call her parents in for a sit down and see if that changes things.

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      01-20-2013 01:36 PM #25
      I don't have this problem
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    26. 01-20-2013 01:42 PM #26
      Quote Originally Posted by xombiesarelove View Post
      And how has nobody demanded pics of OP's soon to be baby mama yet?
      First line of post #18...


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      01-20-2013 01:42 PM #27
      Quote Originally Posted by Internal Combustion View Post

      Also if she facks somebody at target likely she has options in the 2 wk range that don't include you.
      Maybe it isn't yours. Let her know you want proof that it is. Maybe she isn't preggers at all.

      If it is yours, MAN THE **** UP and be a good parent.

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      01-20-2013 02:08 PM #28
      Quote Originally Posted by Blk95VR6 View Post
      First line of post #18...


      Mike
      Saw that after I posted and was too lazy to edit.

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      01-20-2013 02:15 PM #29
      Always a worry of mine. Glad I'm not in your shoes.

      Just keep on convincing based on HER and not your needs.

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      01-20-2013 02:26 PM #30
      Babynames.com

    31. Banned butterface's Avatar
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      01-20-2013 02:28 PM #31
      If you're not ready to be a father, keep your dick in your pants and stop banging promiscuous retail fatties making minimum wage. Self-control, self-respect, and suitable partner selection are truly lost arts.
      Last edited by butterface; 01-20-2013 at 02:31 PM.

    32. 01-20-2013 02:28 PM #32
      Quote Originally Posted by xombiesarelove View Post
      Saw that after I posted and was too lazy to edit.
      Hahahaha, lazy Sunday...


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      01-20-2013 02:30 PM #33
      Quote Originally Posted by butterface View Post
      If you're not ready to be a father, keep your dick in your pants and stop banging promiscuous retail fatties making minimum wage.
      Do kids not like oral sex anymore? It was all the rage when I was in college. 100% effective at preventing pregnancy.

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      01-20-2013 02:35 PM #34
      Well now you have something to contribute to this thread:

      what's so BAD about meaningless SEX

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      01-20-2013 02:49 PM #35
      Quote Originally Posted by TASVW View Post
      Get your $50 back.
      THIS.

      Quote Originally Posted by Sir UNBANNED_GERBIL M.B. View Post
      I love the names that some of these people have...

      Quote Originally Posted by GTiTOM View Post
      Does she have friends or parents who can help you reason with her?

      Also, if she's really having it, get a paternity test. Pretty sure you can get it prenatally too.
      No, Maury tells everyone you have to wait until the baby is born.

      Quote Originally Posted by Internal Combustion View Post
      Would like to see pics of said attractively promiscuous PetSmart employee.

      Nothing says true romance like the Target hookup

      Also if she facks somebody at target likely she has options in the 2 wk range that don't include you.
      Chances are, she's sleeping with a bunch of shady people and you're the most decent person she slept with, so she is saying it's yours. Take it as a compliment, but next time be more careful of having sex with a cumdumpster.

      Quote Originally Posted by blksabbath View Post
      Exactly what the wise man above me said. Or the back, face, boobies, feet, her wall, toothbrush, whatever.

      Call her parents in for a sit down and see if that changes things.
      This. say you want to work out finances and that you need to talk to her parents. If she's lying to try and scare you, this will call her out.

      Quote Originally Posted by GoRacers View Post
      Maybe it isn't yours. Let her know you want proof that it is. Maybe she isn't preggers at all.

      If it is yours, MAN THE **** UP and be a good parent.
      This is extremely important. If it is your kid, and she is pregnant, you better be a damn good father. There are too many kids out there with severe abandonment issues from fathers who knocked up their mothers and left.

      Quote Originally Posted by butterface View Post
      If you're not ready to be a father, keep your dick in your pants and stop banging promiscuous retail fatties making minimum wage. Self-control, self-respect, and suitable partner selection are truly lost arts.
      This is also true. If you can't afford a kid, keep it in your pants.

      ALSO: If she only had $11 in her bank account, either 1. she was lying and wanted $50, or 2. She is too poor to be on birth control. FACT.

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