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    Thread: I don't want to be a father....help!!

    1. 01-20-2013 12:32 PM #1
      About a month ago this cute girl approached me at Target, and it ended with me getting her phone number and making plans for the weekend. Like clockwork, on the third date we went back to my apartment. I broke out the Moet & Chandon, and we started making love. She claimed she was on the pill, but I wrapped my willy anyway.

      Long story short- the condom broke, I gave her $50 for the morning after pill (her checking account balance is something like $11 and she makes minimum wage at PetSmart), now that I broke up with her she claims she's pregnant and keeping it.

      I've tried reasoning with her (you can imagine how well that's worked ), saying that carrying a living human being to term is NOT a good way to get back at me, and child support payments will be something like $650 a month (if that, based on a calculator I found for DC). I'm only 20, I don't want to be a father yet. What do I do?
      Last edited by Angry_Birds; 01-20-2013 at 12:35 PM.

    2. Member rich!'s Avatar
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      01-20-2013 12:45 PM #2
      time for
      FireVortex (sorry, no more)... bunch of VWs.
      I came back for #Dieselgate

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      01-20-2013 12:49 PM #3
      1-find the nearest set of stairs
      2-push her down
      3-????
      4-profit

    4. Member RollingInDubs's Avatar
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      01-20-2013 12:49 PM #4

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      01-20-2013 12:52 PM #5


      or something a little more subtle

      Last edited by hognhominy; 01-20-2013 at 01:04 PM.

    6. Member TASVW's Avatar
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      01-20-2013 12:58 PM #6
      Quote Originally Posted by Angry_Birds View Post
      What do I do?
      Get your $50 back.

    7. Member Sir UNBANNED_GERBIL M.B.'s Avatar
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      01-20-2013 01:01 PM #7

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      01-20-2013 01:02 PM #8
      This is probably the last place you want to post something like this.

      I sincerely wish you the best of luck.

    9. 01-20-2013 01:04 PM #9
      Does she have friends or parents who can help you reason with her?

      Also, if she's really having it, get a paternity test. Pretty sure you can get it prenatally too.

    10. 01-20-2013 01:04 PM #10
      90% chance it's the classic " I need attention game" been there done that.

      That being said, stay the course. Stay in contact, give her the attention (to a point) that she wants. Once the game is up walk away. Do not do anything else with her. Even take her to dinner to make her feel comfortable until she lets up on the gig. Then walk away. No way for her to claim anything against you.

      If this is for real, which I have serious doubts based on internet forum data, Still stay the course. Last thing you can do right now is panic. If this is actually real it's too late for morning after and too early for other alternative measures. Stay Calm!!!!1

      As Maury would say " You are not the father!" could be possible as well.

      0
      TL.DR Calm down, wait a week, play nice, wait for "real" results. Then Profit.

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      01-20-2013 01:05 PM #11
      Quote Originally Posted by Angry_Birds View Post
      I broke out the Moet & Chandon
      ...
      I'm only 20, ... What do I do?
      Stop drinking underage.

      Also,

      Quote Originally Posted by TASVW View Post
      Get your $50 back.
      this.

    12. 01-20-2013 01:11 PM #12
      Great thread will read it again.
      Quote Originally Posted by l88m22vette View Post
      Modded = beat to ****
      Stock = driven by 87 year old grandmother
      Miss Daisy might not do all her own work and rub her car with a diaper, but she also wasn't a flatbrim bro who hoped boosted VTAK would make women jump into the car naked at 50mph.

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      01-20-2013 01:21 PM #13
      Enjoy being called daddy.
      Quote Originally Posted by capsaicin View Post
      AP1 S2000? I can not in good conscience talk you out of that. May your slip angle be great and your bed not be the couch!

    14. Member Zstampe's Avatar
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      01-20-2013 01:38 PM #14
      I watched Knocked Up on tv last night......I have nothing more to add. Good luck.
      Quote Originally Posted by Crob View Post
      No, but hypothetically I pissed in your mom.
      Quote Originally Posted by ToucheTurtle View Post
      One time my girlfriend said she didn't like the Acura NSX so i broke up with her....just kidding shes ****ing dead.

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      01-20-2013 01:41 PM #15



      OP's new best friend

    16. 01-20-2013 01:43 PM #16
      The good part is that your kid will be on their own when you are only 38. You will be done when most are starting.

      Tl;dr

      Wait 18 years, then profit?

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      01-20-2013 01:44 PM #17
      Just like you didn't trust her being on the pill, you shouldn't have trusted her to take the morning after pill. You had to go to the drugstore with her and see her take it.

      Either way, I doubt she is pregnant...


      But if she is, you're basically attached to another object by an incline plane wrapped helically around an axis.

    18. Member Internal Combustion's Avatar
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      01-20-2013 02:00 PM #18
      Would like to see pics of said attractively promiscuous PetSmart employee.

      Nothing says true romance like the Target hookup

      Also if she facks somebody at target likely she has options in the 2 wk range that don't include you.
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      01-20-2013 02:02 PM #19
      Quote Originally Posted by kerridwen View Post


      But if she is, you're basically attached to another object by an incline plane wrapped helically around an axis.


      Demand a paternity test from her now. And what the heck are you doing buying M&C at 20 years old? And more importantly, popping it for a minimum-wage girl that works at PetSmart?

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      01-20-2013 02:14 PM #20

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      01-20-2013 02:16 PM #21
      [IMG]http://cdn.*************.net/instances/400x/22264539.jpg[/IMG]

      And how has nobody demanded pics of OP's soon to be baby mama yet?

    22. Member White Jetta's Avatar
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      01-20-2013 02:29 PM #22
      Always, and I mean always finish in the bum.
      Sent on a Post-It by way of carrier pigeon

    23. Member SlowMotion's Avatar
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      01-20-2013 02:34 PM #23
      Start planning the baby shower

      Tapatalk 2!

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      01-20-2013 02:35 PM #24
      Exactly what the wise man above me said. Or the back, face, boobies, feet, her wall, toothbrush, whatever.

      Call her parents in for a sit down and see if that changes things.

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      01-20-2013 02:36 PM #25
      I don't have this problem

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