I don't want to be a father....help!!

[Angry_Birds]

About a month ago this cute girl approached me at Target, and it ended with me getting her phone number and making plans for the weekend. Like clockwork, on the third date we went back to my apartment. I broke out the Moet & Chandon, and we started making love. She claimed she was on the pill, but I wrapped my willy anyway.

Long story short- the condom broke, I gave her $50 for the morning after pill (her checking account balance is something like $11 and she makes minimum wage at PetSmart), now that I broke up with her she claims she's pregnant and keeping it.

I've tried reasoning with her (you can imagine how well that's worked ), saying that carrying a living human being to term is NOT a good way to get back at me, and child support payments will be something like $650 a month (if that, based on a calculator I found for DC). I'm only 20, I don't want to be a father yet. What do I do?

[rich!]

time for

[synthsis]

1-find the nearest set of stairs
2-push her down
3-????
4-profit

[RollingInDubs]

[gambit420s]

or something a little more subtle

[TASVW]

What do I do?

Get your $50 back.

[Sir UNBANNED_GERBIL M.B.]

[strskatr05]

This is probably the last place you want to post something like this.

I sincerely wish you the best of luck.

[GTiTOM]

Does she have friends or parents who can help you reason with her?

Also, if she's really having it, get a paternity test. Pretty sure you can get it prenatally too.

[Col. Sandurz]

90% chance it's the classic " I need attention game" been there done that.

That being said, stay the course. Stay in contact, give her the attention (to a point) that she wants. Once the game is up walk away. Do not do anything else with her. Even take her to dinner to make her feel comfortable until she lets up on the gig. Then walk away. No way for her to claim anything against you.

If this is for real, which I have serious doubts based on internet forum data, Still stay the course. Last thing you can do right now is panic. If this is actually real it's too late for morning after and too early for other alternative measures. Stay Calm!!!!1

As Maury would say " You are not the father!" could be possible as well.

0
TL.DR Calm down, wait a week, play nice, wait for "real" results. Then Profit.

[OOOO-A3]

I broke out the Moet & Chandon
...
I'm only 20, ... What do I do?

Stop drinking underage.

Also,

Get your $50 back.

this.

[FuelInMyVeins]

Great thread will read it again.

[compy222]

Enjoy being called daddy.

[Zstampe]

I watched Knocked Up on tv last night......I have nothing more to add. Good luck.

[Sir UNBANNED_GERBIL M.B.]

OP's new best friend

[hatetolovemydub]

The good part is that your kid will be on their own when you are only 38. You will be done when most are starting.

Tl;dr

Wait 18 years, then profit?

[kerridwen]

Just like you didn't trust her being on the pill, you shouldn't have trusted her to take the morning after pill. You had to go to the drugstore with her and see her take it.

Either way, I doubt she is pregnant...


But if she is, you're basically attached to another object by an incline plane wrapped helically around an axis.

[Internal Combustion]

Would like to see pics of said attractively promiscuous PetSmart employee.

Nothing says true romance like the Target hookup

Also if she facks somebody at target likely she has options in the 2 wk range that don't include you.

[Mk1Racer]

But if she is, you're basically attached to another object by an incline plane wrapped helically around an axis.

Demand a paternity test from her now. And what the heck are you doing buying M&C at 20 years old? And more importantly, popping it for a minimum-wage girl that works at PetSmart?

[Inspector Detector]

[xombiesarelove]

And how has nobody demanded pics of OP's soon to be baby mama yet?

[White Jetta]

Always, and I mean always finish in the bum.

[SlowMotion]

Start planning the baby shower

Tapatalk 2!

[blksabbath]

Exactly what the wise man above me said. Or the back, face, boobies, feet, her wall, toothbrush, whatever.

Call her parents in for a sit down and see if that changes things.

[pentaxshooter]

I don't have this problem

[Blk95VR6]

And how has nobody demanded pics of OP's soon to be baby mama yet?

First line of post #18...


Mike

[GoRacers]

Also if she facks somebody at target likely she has options in the 2 wk range that don't include you.

Maybe it isn't yours. Let her know you want proof that it is. Maybe she isn't preggers at all.

If it is yours, MAN THE **** UP and be a good parent.

[xombiesarelove]

First line of post #18...


Mike

Saw that after I posted and was too lazy to edit.

[1Point8TDan]

Always a worry of mine. Glad I'm not in your shoes.

Just keep on convincing based on HER and not your needs.

[pdunk25]

Babynames.com

[butterface]

If you're not ready to be a father, keep your dick in your pants and stop banging promiscuous retail fatties making minimum wage. Self-control, self-respect, and suitable partner selection are truly lost arts.

[Blk95VR6]

Saw that after I posted and was too lazy to edit.

Hahahaha, lazy Sunday...


Mike

[Sump]

If you're not ready to be a father, keep your dick in your pants and stop banging promiscuous retail fatties making minimum wage.

Do kids not like oral sex anymore? It was all the rage when I was in college. 100% effective at preventing pregnancy.

[bmann]

Well now you have something to contribute to this thread:

what's so BAD about meaningless SEX

[warrenW]

Get your $50 back.

THIS.

I love the names that some of these people have...

Does she have friends or parents who can help you reason with her?

Also, if she's really having it, get a paternity test. Pretty sure you can get it prenatally too.

No, Maury tells everyone you have to wait until the baby is born.

Would like to see pics of said attractively promiscuous PetSmart employee.

Nothing says true romance like the Target hookup

Also if she facks somebody at target likely she has options in the 2 wk range that don't include you.

Chances are, she's sleeping with a bunch of shady people and you're the most decent person she slept with, so she is saying it's yours. Take it as a compliment, but next time be more careful of having sex with a cumdumpster.

Exactly what the wise man above me said. Or the back, face, boobies, feet, her wall, toothbrush, whatever.

Call her parents in for a sit down and see if that changes things.

This. say you want to work out finances and that you need to talk to her parents. If she's lying to try and scare you, this will call her out.

Maybe it isn't yours. Let her know you want proof that it is. Maybe she isn't preggers at all.

If it is yours, MAN THE **** UP and be a good parent.

This is extremely important. If it is your kid, and she is pregnant, you better be a damn good father. There are too many kids out there with severe abandonment issues from fathers who knocked up their mothers and left.

If you're not ready to be a father, keep your dick in your pants and stop banging promiscuous retail fatties making minimum wage. Self-control, self-respect, and suitable partner selection are truly lost arts.

This is also true. If you can't afford a kid, keep it in your pants.

ALSO: If she only had $11 in her bank account, either 1. she was lying and wanted $50, or 2. She is too poor to be on birth control. FACT.