This one hit home with me... I'd never really written about my accident until now.
When I was 14, I suffered from a lack of brains and an innate ability to play hockey. Those two things mixed together and I thought I'd also be a pretty good aggressive inline skater like my buddies.
One day, I thought I'd give it a try and go up and skate with them. With the cheers of "hit the ramp!" echoing in my brain, unencumbered by such mufflers as pads and helmets I went for it.
Now, I was a FAST skater. I could accelerate up to 20mph on ice very quickly. I could only estimate I accelerated at that ramp at a similar rate. The next few seconds were a blur of body, blood and teeth.
I like to say I was attempting to do a front flip and under-rotated. What actually happened probably looked more like me high-speed-tripping over the kicker ramp. I landed face first... more accurately, teeth first. My top lip was torn from my face just below my lip. My front two teeth dematerialized. With the speed in which I hit the ramp still built into it, I slid forehead down approximately 10-15 feet leaving a rather gory trail on the street. There was a brief moment in which my palms touched the ground (due to the presence of abrasions on my palms) though they did little except flip over and cause me to drag my backhand and knuckles down the street instead. At some point during all this, my nose found it's way into becoming broken.
When I came to a stop, I lay there, face down... contemplating life, the universe and everything. Then it came to me. I rolled over onto my back, looked to the heavens and saw it. I screamed. Loud. Long. Taking deep breaths between each scream so I could scream just a BIT louder that next time in the hopes that it would help with the sheer pain that started to set into my face. It didn't.
My friends stood by aghast in the blood and viscera before them. One of my friends had recorded the entire event on video tape. Eventually, someone called my dad and said "Jared's hurt." Apparently they didn't quite explain the gravity of the situation to my dad and he arrived about 2 innings into the Red Sox game later. Upon arriving, he realized the situation was grave as my friends were washing the street of my entrails while attempting to locate my teeth. I sat on the curb, wiping my face with whatever I could find. Apparently I thought a set of skates would be a good thing to use as a towel. I had not seen my face, but I knew it was not good based on the looks I was receiving from my group of friends.
I was admitted to the ER... my father practically forced me to the front of the line and I was seeing a doctor who was washing the gravel out of my lip hole and stitching it back on. My dentist arrived soon after to see what would have to be planned. I stayed home from school that week... my face was a mess. I had a solid line of scab down the center of my face, my nose was broken, my teeth were missing and I had a thick scabbed over stitch right under my nose.
My friends had called me to tell me that they destroyed the tape. They watched it a few times before erasing it because it was just too gory. It's a decision we all wished hadn't happened because looking back on it, it was VERY funny. It was funny enough that I used it during the best-man speech in my best friend's wedding. Even today, people who weren't even there will quip to me, "Hey Jared... Hit the ramp."
My face did heal, my teeth were never found.