Our addiction to oil has gotten completely out of control, and ethanol and biodiesel require growing things to produce. Hydrogen is good, but we have to use lots of water and energy to produce it, so we should combine it with something else to use it more efficiently. Batteries are nice, but they're very heavy and expensive, and they're not as durable as many of us would like.

My proposal is this:
Think about how much raw sewage we waste when it burns so well. Why not power cars with poo?

Use a fuel cell to produce water, which can be used to move the poo away from the vehicle's occupants and allow it to sit in a U-bend to keep odors out of the interior of the car.

The poo is carried to a burn chamber and incinerated, and the heat produced is used to convert water to steam, which is then run through a turbine and used to generate electricity.

The energy lost from the steam when travelling through the turbine cools it and returns it to a liquid state, allowing it to be run through the system again.

These are the ideas behind the Turdbiodiesel!® Hydrogen Sh*t Hybrid†.

†Turdbiodiesel® Hydrogen Sh*t Hybrid is a registered trademark of DoubleNaught, Turbiodiesel!, and Entwerfer des Audis.

Note: The seats feature large side bolsters for use in case of constipation.

Modified by Entwerfer des Audis at 1:28 PM 6/21/2008

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Brilliant. I applaud thee.

Prefferred.

TCL - where 80% of the members talk 100% out of their ass.

A reflash is as simple as visiting a skeezy taco truck.

Quote, originally posted by felixthecat, on why his genitalia are important to him »

Good god, I do have a wang and I just couldn't trade it in for a Prius.

No; the Turdbiodiesel® S will include the standard vehicle, ten 50-lb. sacks of Dipstick County pinto beans, and ten gallons of green chiles.

This is the intended recipe:

Voluntary Poverty Hardcase Survival Pinto Bean Sludge (courtesy of Edward Abbey)

1. Take one fifty-pound sack Dipstick County pinto beans. Remove stones, cockleburs, horsesh*t, ants, lizards, etc. Wash in clear cold crick water. Soak for twenty-four hours in iron kettle or earthenware cooking pot. (DO NOT USE TEFLON, ALUMINUM OR PYREX CONTAINER. THIS WARNING CANNOT BE OVERSTRESSED.)

2. Place kettle or pot with entire fifty lbs. of pinto beans on low fire and simmer for twenty-four hours. (DO NOT POUR OFF WATER IN WHICH BEANS HAVE BEEN IMMERSED. THIS IS IMPORTANT.) Fire must be of juniper, pinyon pine, mesquite or ironwood; other fuels tend to modify the subtle flavor and delicate aroma of Pinto Bean Sludge.

3. DO NOT BOIL.

4. STIR VIGOROUSLY FROM TIME TO TIME WITH WOODEN SPOON OR IRON LADLE. (Do not disregard these instructions.)

5. After simmering on low fire for twenty-four hours, add one gallon green chile peppers. Stir vigorously. Add one quart natural (non-iodized) pure sea salt. Add black pepper. Stir some more and throw in additional flavoring materials, as desired, such as old bacon rinds, corncobs, salt pork, hog jowls, kidney stones, ham hocks, sowbelly, saddle blankets, jungle boots, worn-out tennis shoes, cinch straps, whatnot, use your own judgment. Simmer an additional twenty-four hours.

6. Now ladle as many servings as desired from pot but do not remove pot from fire. Allow to simmer continuously for hours, days or weeks if necessary, until all contents have been thoroughly consumed. Continue to stir vigorously, whenever in vicinity or whenever you think of it.

7. Serve Pinto Bean Sludge on large flat stones or on any convenient fairly level surface. Garnish liberally with parsley flakes. Slather generously with raw ketchup. Sprinkle with endive, anchovy crumbs and boiled cruets and eat hearty.

8. One potful Pinto Bean Sludge, as above specified, will feed one poet for two full weeks at a cost of about $11.45 at current prices. Annual costs less than $300.

9. The philosopher Pythagoras found flatulence incompatible with meditation and therefore urged his followers not to eat beans. I have found, however, that custom and thorough cooking will alleviate this problem.

Oh, and the seat is heated to increase the viscosity of the feces for a faster burn.

Modified by Entwerfer des Audis at 4:47 PM 5/29/2008

Modified by Entwerfer des Audis at 1:53 PM 6/2/2008

Quote, originally posted by felixthecat, on why his genitalia are important to him »

Good god, I do have a wang and I just couldn't trade it in for a Prius.

I'm game, mine would run for ever

That's the beauty of it! It's all automated. You don't have to handle it!

Quote, originally posted by felixthecat, on why his genitalia are important to him »

Good god, I do have a wang and I just couldn't trade it in for a Prius.

I'm talking about the legislation that will be created when these ****boxes start rolling down the streets of our fair cities.

Given the quality of most legislation, I'm sure this concept will burn that as well.

Quote, originally posted by felixthecat, on why his genitalia are important to him »

Good god, I do have a wang and I just couldn't trade it in for a Prius.

And the ad jingle.

"Have you taken a shiiiiiiiiiit....late-ly?"

Also, some alternative slogans:

"At Turdbiodiesel Motors, Quality is Job #2."

"Bold movements."

Or....what about this?

"Voluble sh!tters wanted."

"Turdbiodiesel. Think. Feel. Push."

"Vorchprung turd technik."

Modified by Turbiodiesel! at 4:15 PM 5-29-2008

Quote, originally posted by felixthecat, on why his genitalia are important to him »

Good god, I do have a wang and I just couldn't trade it in for a Prius.

So you get on the bus and pick a stall?

Quote, originally posted by felixthecat, on why his genitalia are important to him »

Good god, I do have a wang and I just couldn't trade it in for a Prius.

I damn near broke off the seat bolsters, I laughed so hard!

Quote, originally posted by Entwerfer des Audis »

...so you'd probably end up with segregation of men and women since everyone is so insecure, which would end up with a really f*cked up version of Rosa Parks and the Montgomery bus boycott.

Yeah...the constipated have to sit at the back.

Quote, originally posted by felixthecat, on why his genitalia are important to him »

Good god, I do have a wang and I just couldn't trade it in for a Prius.

screw

Quote, originally posted by azn »

beautiful! god knows how long i've wasted trying to squeeze out that turd in the morning. now my problems are gone! multitasking ftw!

Exactly. There's even a holder for car magazines so you can relax at red lights!

Quote, originally posted by felixthecat, on why his genitalia are important to him »

Good god, I do have a wang and I just couldn't trade it in for a Prius.

Bump.

Lovely

Yeah. I'm especially fond of 'Quality is Job #2'!

I wouldn't want to be anywhere near an auto accident with these things on the road, though!

Hmmmm. Accident. Yup, Double meaning.

Quote, originally posted by patrikman »

A restoration to me is some sort of exorcism/brainwash for a car. /rant.

(Actually, not entirely sure that that will happen, seeing as I already know that I'm leaving my job, and the administration here does, too... )

http://jalopnik.com

http://blog.cardomain.com/blog....html

ROFL. Can't. Stop. Laughing.

You guys are celebrities. ExxonMobil's going down bitches! It's on!