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    Thread: What happens when you let 2 mk1 kids drive your S4 from NY to Seattle? (56k, not a chance)

    1. Banned
      Join Date
      Nov 3rd, 2005
      11-08-2006 12:41 AM #1

      Aaron (Euro Nation) and I flew out last Sunday night, arrived in Albany, NY about 9am Monday to drive a car home for a friend of ours.
      Here's the car after washing it.

      Why would we wash a car before driving it across the country you ask? Simple, the black wasn't doing it for us. We like our S4's in Nogaro blue.
      Problem is we couldn't afford paint....

      This should do the trick. [IMG]http://*****************.com/smile/emthup.gif[/IMG]
      4 hours, one pizza and 4 and a half rolls of tape later we were ready to hit the road.

      We didn't have any plates so I figured I'd make one so we didn't get pulled over.

      That should keep the coppers away.

      It ended up being more like 3250 miles or something.
      Didn't take long before we saw something interesting, a big rig and some flashing lights.... this should be good, I got out the camera...

      Whoops. Looks like a job opening if anyone's interested..
      Not a lot more going on that night picture wise, got some fuel, stuck up some stickers and discovered the truth behind the toll highways.
      The way I see it, Mcdonalds puts up these highways they trap you on and the only thing to eat is mcdonalds and dunkin donuts. Your tolls go towards building the (I think they called them) Service Areas on every exit. They sure as hell don't go towards fixing the screwed up roads.
      So you're trapped on this beat up highway that you have to pay to drive on and you're stuck eating whatever they want you to eat, which happens to me mcdonalds. [IMG]http://*****************.com/smile/emthdown.gif[/IMG]
      We starved ourselves til later that night when we saw a Denny's. Not much better but I'll eat dog food before I'll eat Mcdonalds.
      Stomachs slightly upset we head out of New York with Aaron driving while I sleep off the jet-lag so I can drive later while he gets some sleep. Halfway through Ohio I wake up and inform Aaron he's going to have to pull over cause that food isn't sitting well.
      He says "You gotta ****?" I said "I'm not sure which end, but it wants out." He pulls over and I say "I hope this doesn't take long, I hate the feeling of waiting to vomit." I step out of the car, stand up and shoot half digested eggs, hash browns and french toast a good 3-4 feet in front of me.
      Lucky for you guys Aaron couldn't find his camera fast enough.
      2 kids dressed in all black standing next to a $40k car covered in tape on the side of the Ohio turnpike at 3am. One kid projectile vomiting while the other one tries to take pictures. I'm sure that was quite a site for passers by.
      We find somewhere I can brush my teeth and finish emptying my insides and get back on our way. Aaron drove a bit more then we pulled over and both slept for the night.
      The next day I drove while Aaron tried for a little more sleep.
      Got into Chicago, if you live there, I'm sorry. What a terrible place. If I hadn't swerved for a few spots the s4 wouldn't have an oil pan anymore and we'd be pushing it back home.
      All kinds of bad drivers and rusty cars. Saw this guy rollin fat rabbits style.

      I guess his springs rusted and broke or something.
      By this time (probably noonish) we were both starving (no food since the Denny's I puked up the night before) and the car was low on fuel so we pulled off a random exit to search for a fuel station and some eats as they didn't have any signs telling you were to find anything.
      After a few blocks of no restaurants or fuel stations I spotted a home depot. I slammed on the brakes, cut off 2 other cars and turned into the parking lot. A home depot? Yeah, a home depot.

      I did the front wheel while Aaron resentfully (it was only 20 something degrees with strong winds. ) did the rear wheel then the front plate.(good idea ) A couple guys came by and asked us if we were going to rob a bank. I told them "Maybe "

      I also picked up a new marker cause the old sharpie was getting tired and we added more scribblings on the car.

      We found some food, a little fuel and booted up Google Earth on the laptop to find our way back on the freeway cause there was no entrance back onto the highway we came off of.
      While Aaron was on the internets I told him to go to roadsideamerica.com and find some stuff to check out.
      First spot we hit was an exit in Wisconsin where we spotted our first cow.

      It was a pretty happening place. We found a couple other landmarks..

      The elephant rockin nerd goggles was my personal favorite.

      I touched this picture up in photoshop cause there was writing all over him. Aaron tried to point out the irony of me stickering it but blue tape peels off.

      More roadside oddities we caught along the way.

      It's a pizza delivery PT loser with a moose humping it.

      Aaron playing the internets whilst the large mouse gets his cheese on.

      The biggest Sinclair dinosaur I've ever seen.

      Our first muffler man of the trip. [IMG]http://*****************.com/smile/emthup.gif[/IMG] Someone turned him into a cowboy. He was behind a fuel station in North Dakota.... or was it Wisconsin?

      Aaron took over driving again and I got some sleep. We got into Montana and he decided he was tired so we stopped to switch and I spotted this..

      I stopped for fuel again and spotted this..

      Their sign is melting.
      Aaron spotted a giant cow from the freeway, still not sure how I missed it but we took the next exit and found this...

      That's a lotta cow.

      The car.... with nothing but flat behind it.

      Look, more nothing!
      We grabbed another random exit just for fun and found this body shop with some cool cars out front.



      From there we drove around town a bit more searching for more cars. We actually found some VWs. Our first rabbits on the trip.

      Through the trees Aaron found what we thought was a wrecking yard so we went to check it out..

      Turns out it was this guys yard, we talked to him for a half hour or so and snapped a bunch of pictures. I didn't get as many pictures as I would've liked cause it was about 18 degrees out with all kinds of wind. The guy was really cool. He took us in his shop and showed us a bunch of old pictures of cars he's owned and painted and worked on. [IMG]http://*****************.com/smile/emthup.gif[/IMG]


      It was kinda weird to find this sitting on the ground....

      Don't see these too often...

      I would've liked to get more, better pictures but it was cold and we were talking to the guy.

      Random tractor on a stick.
      Another random exit in search of food brought us a buick..

      And this beauty was just sitting in front of an antique shop.

      Should've brought a trailer.

      In the middle of nowhere there's nothing to do but drive on the wrong wide of the road to entertain yourself.
      We saw a sign for the "Enchanted highway" it was supposed to have giant statues so we pulled off and went a ways til we found the first sculpture..

      Now that I look at the website we should've stayed on it and saw more stuff but it would've taken us out of our way and after a ways of no statues we turned back.
      I got bored so I started playing with tape.

      Got my bad boy boser blik on....

      I couldn't see very well but that's ok. There was nothing to look at.
      It wouldn't fit in one post. See next post for the rest.....

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    3. Banned
      Join Date
      Nov 3rd, 2005
      11-08-2006 12:42 AM #2

      Oh hi, I upgraded ur shifter.

      I did the interior to match the outside. Note the keychain. We also got keychains from the "Worlds largest Holstein cow" and the elephant. Racing.

      We spotted a nogaro blue escort and hooked him up with a sticker. [IMG]http://*****************.com/smile/emthup.gif[/IMG]

      More cow action.

      A raptor made of rebar.

      Looked like the national guard or something.

      We stopped at a rest area and put on this bitchin windshield banner, Aaron didn't think it was a good idea but as I drove into the sunset I assured him we had made the right choice.

      Dinosaur museum, it was still under construction so there was nothing inside. As we were taking pictures some redneck rolled by and yelled "It's fake!"

      Just some smoke. One of the valve covers was dripping oil on the turbo.

      Keeping with the cow theme.

      Our second muffler man and our first police encounter.
      Aaron was laying on the ground trying to get a picture and someone in the casino called the cops cause they thought we were fighting.
      As I hopped in the car and turned the key an suv pulled directly behind me, I thought it was Security but it turned out to be a sheriff. I turned the car off, rolled down my window and put my hands on the wheel. He walked up to the door and asked what we were doing. I told him we were taking pictures of the muffler man. He looked up at the muffler man, back down at me and said "atsa cowboy."
      I laughed and told him it's one of many muffler men that used to be in front of fuel stations, tire shops and muffler shops but had since been used to draw attention to all kinds of different businesses.I told him the reason his hands were hold the way they were is he used to be holding a giant muffler.
      He realized I wasn't drunk and asked for our license's.
      He told us someone called and said we were acting suspicious and that we were fighting. I told him we forgot to bring a tripod so we had to set the cameras on the ground.
      He looked down at the door, pulled out his flashlight and read aloud "Show me your...... BOOBIES! HAHAHA, THAT'S GREAT!!! Hey, you guys ever go to Sturgis?!" I told him we hadn't yet had the pleasure but I'd heard all about it. He proceeded to tell us about some girls he had seen and asked us where we were headed. As I explained what we were doing he got distracted by the tape all over the car. He asked about it and I told him we didn't want any rock chips. He didn't ask about whose car it was or ask for insurance or paperwork. He was the first cop I've ever met that wasn't a total dick. [IMG]http://*****************.com/smile/emthup.gif[/IMG]
      I always heard nice cops existed but until now never believed anyone. I guess you have to go to Montana for nice coppers. They also don't care much about the speed limit there. They just recently put up speed limit signs but no one really obeyed them. [IMG]http://*****************.com/smile/emthup.gif[/IMG]
      We told the cop we were taking pictures of strange roadside stuff like large fiberglass animals and muffler men. He told us there was a giant Michelin man in a nearby town and told us how to get to it. We thanked him and headed back towards town.
      We drove to where he told us and didn't find anything so we got on the internet and after a few circles (one way streets) we found yet another cow.

      We were heading down a road that was getting more and more rural and decided we were never going to find this Michelin man so I was looking for somewhere to turn around when Aaron screamed and pointed. It was muffler man.

      I guess this was the Michelin man he was talking about.
      As I was pulling out of the parking lot we saw another cop, He hit the brakes and turned around to follow me. He pulled me over and asked me to put my hood down. I thought "What? I didn't even pop the hood...... OH, my hoody." I put my hood down and he asked for our ID's. He asked what we were doing and I told him. He said people had been writing graffiti in the area we had just came from so he took down our information and let us go after he saw we weren't from that area.
      After we got out of there we went to check out this store Aaron spotted earlier.

      Here's Aaron with his huge ****.... and a 10 foot rooster.
      And of course, another cow...

      Drove through some hills, watched the temperature drop to 11 degrees and found some ice, by this time we were both hungry again so we started looking for somewhere to eat. We found an exit but everything was closed except a fuel station. It was only 1:30am and it was a college town so I don't know why everything was closed. We walked around in a convenience store and didn't find anything worth eating so we just went to sleep at a nearby rest area. I parked next to this fine looking machine...

      The front and rear windows said "SIGN MY RIDE" and everyone had written all over it. People from Canada, Mexico, Florida, etc.

      I signed his ride.
      We passed out and woke up cause we were freezing cold even though we were both wearing hoodies, snowboard jackets and had blankets so I turned the car on and went back to sleep. In the morning we made it to Butte.

      There's a 90 foot tall statue of the virgin Mary in Butte but somehow we couldn't find it.
      We drove around looking for "our lady of the rockies" as she's called, I even drove up the hill and couldn't see her from there. We did find some other interesting things...

      I had to decorate the fender accordingly.

      I also found some slides.

      I'm sorry Montana, I couldn't resist sliding in your butte.

      I also found dicks in your butte.

      After we'd made all the Butte jokes we could think of, I got back on the freeway and spotted some rednecks...

      I took another random exit to see if we could find anything interesting and saw this...

      We were rather amused when we saw the sign for the next town, Aaron read aloud "Boner, 3 miles, that's impressive." While impressive, I argued that it wouldn't be all that practical.

      I wonder what they teach there.
      We found another town online that we had to visit, we drove out of our way a couple miles to get to LOLO.

      I may or may not have photoshopped this next picture...

      Spotted more mk1 content....

      While in LOLO we Aaron bought some duckies and we put em on, in and around the car..

      Other than the giant one molded into the building, this was the only Sinclair dinosaur we saw on the trip.

      It's a TDI. [IMG]http://*****************.com/smile/emthup.gif[/IMG] ...and check out the plate.

      I got bored so I started shootin hoops.
      I also decorated Aaron's laptop for him.

      Door ducky.

      Taped my phone.

      Getting closer.

      Suns.....wearing sunglasses. Makes me wanna buy cars.

      Taped the front of my donk so I didn't get any chips on the drive home.

      What a waste.... it worked though, got our attention.

      Trunk duck is not amused.

      Found the bates motel.

      Check out that pimp interior.

      I even made Aaron a bracelet and a new badge for the racing steering wheel. Bastard wouldn't let me blue tape his wedding ring.


      The front when we finally made it home.
      Here are a couple videos I made with my new ride on the dash and the door whilst driving.

      The bug stayed where I taped it but the donk kept rolling all over the place.... especially when I swerved to make it do so.
      It was a fun trip and took me forever to host and type all that, I hope the mods take that and the mk1 content into consideration before they lock this.

    4. Member ms.golf's Avatar
      Join Date
      Oct 21st, 2005
      Manhattan Beach CA
      11-08-2006 12:45 AM #3

      <3 18" P-slots

    5. Banned
      Join Date
      Nov 3rd, 2005
      11-08-2006 12:51 AM #4
      Quote, originally posted by ms.golf &raquo;

      <3 18" P-slots

      17's. Gotta roll in style, ya know.

    6. Member rallySOP's Avatar
      Join Date
      Dec 28th, 2001
      Oswego, IL
      1983 GTI, 2011 GTI
      11-08-2006 12:58 AM #5
      That's just awsome you got to take that trip. I haven't been on one of those in years.

    7. Member 2low2go's Avatar
      Join Date
      Apr 18th, 2003
      mk2 voomeran gli, w202 brabus, b7 passat
      11-08-2006 12:59 AM #6
      thats some mad tape skillz! blue tape ownz yo!

    8. Banned NineThings's Avatar
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      Nov 21st, 2005
      11-08-2006 01:01 AM #7
      good show, sir. [IMG]http://*****************.com/smile/emthup.gif[/IMG]

    9. Member The_GTi_Art's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jun 2nd, 2005
      1980 VW Caddy
      11-08-2006 01:03 AM #8
      I can't believe you guys taped the whole car! hilarious
      i can't stop laughing cuz of the butte bonner and lolo signs (and what you did to them) [IMG]http://*****************.com/smile/emthup.gif[/IMG]
      Great stuff you just made my day [IMG]http://*****************.com/smile/emthup.gif[/IMG]

    10. Member
      Join Date
      Mar 1st, 2003
      1988 VW Cabriolet
      11-08-2006 01:05 AM #9
      You phucking rule. Road trips with friends are the best. And blue tape only makes it that much more awesome! Thanks for sharing. I was laughing so hard! The DK tape was pretty rad.
      Cleaning, inspecting, ordering parts, looking for parts, collecting parts, modifying things...
      Cabby project in full swing after winter hiatus!

    11. Member just-jean's Avatar
      Join Date
      Sep 14th, 2006
      Dumont, NJ
      71 SuperBeetle, 89 Jetta GLI, 97 Jetta GLX-SOLD, white canvas KEDS/8 eyelett/blue badging
      11-08-2006 01:07 AM #10
      way too funny!!!
      and nobody questioned your TAPE plates?
      i think that car now has "history"
      07 EOS island grey/black/2.0T-- 6MT----no DSG for MY happy feet

    12. 11-08-2006 01:11 AM #11
      [IMG]http://*****************.com/smile/emthup.gif[/IMG] awesome, would have been perfect if some chicks showed da boobies

    13. Member Cabby-Blitz's Avatar
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      Sep 2nd, 2002
      '03 SVT Lightning
      11-08-2006 01:19 AM #12
      Did your buddy know you were going to tape the car?

      You were so close in Wisconsin Dells, WI, there is a giant Paul Bunyon and Babe the blue ox.

    14. 11-08-2006 01:22 AM #13
      dude i just im'ed you all the stuff i was thinkin
      that was awesome
      theres too much stuff to mention
      i love that crack hoor pic,thats a good one
      man ya got lucky with the cops and thats cool too

    15. Awaiting Email Confirmation Tnewc27's Avatar
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      Apr 5th, 2005
      84 GTI - 95URS6 - 04 Touareg
      11-08-2006 01:32 AM #14
      Gr8t entertainment.

    16. 11-08-2006 01:43 AM #15
      Quote, originally posted by fast84gti &raquo;
      You phucking rule. Road trips with friends are the best. And blue tape only makes it that much more awesome! Thanks for sharing. I was laughing so hard! The DK tape was pretty rad.

      Exactly my thoughts [IMG]http://*****************.com/smile/emthup.gif[/IMG]

    17. Senior Member Muffler Bearing's Avatar
      Join Date
      Apr 4th, 2004
      54 green with a white roof, 84 also green with a white roof.
      11-08-2006 01:44 AM #16
      A Rabbit is not to be wasted on the tentative or weak. Only the worthy are invited, and then only at your own risk. If you have even a modicum of hesitation, DO NOT buy one of these cars. Instead, leave it for a worthy soul who has already matriculated to the sublime ecstasy of what those in the know refer to as a "MK1"

    18. 11-08-2006 01:50 AM #17
      This thread rocks Thanks for taking the time to post all the photos and the details it made my day.

    19. Member fknlo's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jun 30th, 2004
      05 S2000, 17 GTI Sport
      11-08-2006 01:51 AM #18
      by far one of my favorite threads ever. i love the tape.

    20. 11-08-2006 02:15 AM #19
      Quote, originally posted by fknlo &raquo;
      by far one of my favorite threads ever. i love the tape.

      [IMG]http://*****************.com/smile/emthup.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://*****************.com/smile/emthup.gif[/IMG]

    21. Member jonny_breakz's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jul 26th, 2002
      Wpg Mb Canada
      99 Ford Ranger XLT
      11-08-2006 02:17 AM #20
      HAHAHAH that was awesome...good show chap!
      the car looks sweet. what did your friend think of it when you pulled up in a blue s4 when he bought a black one..lol
      oh..and Im glad that you ended up getting some dick in butte!!

      [IMG]http://*****************.com/smile/emthup.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://*****************.com/smile/emthup.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://*****************.com/smile/emthup.gif[/IMG]

    22. Member Capt. Obvious's Avatar
      Join Date
      Oct 23rd, 2006
      996 C4S, Unnecessarily large truck, bike
      11-08-2006 02:23 AM #21
      You are my hero. I want to have your babies now. [IMG]http://*****************.com/smile/emlove.gif[/IMG]

    23. Geriatric Member EK20's Avatar
      Join Date
      Sep 28th, 2004
      Mill Creek, WA
      C5 A6 S-Line and 99 Civic Hatchback
      11-08-2006 02:30 AM #22

      I have a matchbook from that place. [IMG]http://*****************.com/smile/emthup.gif[/IMG]
      "Do you know the terror of he who falls asleep?
      To the very toes he is terrified, because the ground gives way under him, and the dream begins."
      ~Friedrich Nietzsche

    24. Member -teknien-'s Avatar
      Join Date
      Sep 7th, 2004
      Long Island NY
      83 GTI, 03 GOLF
      11-08-2006 02:38 AM #23
      bad ass trip in a bad ass car!
      Quote Originally Posted by g60vw View Post
      If I thought like that I would have gotten out of mk1's back when they were still A1's
      Quote Originally Posted by goosler View Post
      screw all of you & your stupid cars.........see you at madness!
      I'm a 1%er

    25. Member Euro Nation's Avatar
      Join Date
      Oct 16th, 2003
      Snohomish, WA
      11-08-2006 02:40 AM #24
      Quote, originally posted by Cabby-Blitz &raquo;
      Did your buddy know you were going to tape the car?

      You were so close in Wisconsin Dells, WI, there is a giant Paul Bunyon and Babe the blue ox.

      Did Richard know we were going to tape the whole car? He paid for the tape and I made him peel it off!!
      We went through the Dells but it was getting late. I'm sure we missed some stuff which is what happens when you drive straight through. We missed the farm of fiberglass animals and the 27ft Radio Flyer wagon because we were rolling through their areas at bad times of the night.
      I'll toss some stuff in here since I know that there are some spots that neither of us got good shots, or one of us was asleep through. Overall I had an absolute blast. I'm already starting to put together the plans for the next trip we're going to take. This time with my car so we can get in a little more trouble


      Girly bar. We didn't go in. I doubt they have top shelf hunniez at a bar in the middle is Wis

      Oh deer...

      We were on the road for Halloween so we made the required 1800s cemetary stop.

      One of Montana's high dollar meth labs.

      Another of the tire/muffler man

      Roadside jet

      Roadside Monster Truck

      Modified by Euro Nation at 3:53 PM 3-6-2007

    26. Member A1_Lover's Avatar
      Join Date
      Oct 26th, 2003
      Olympia, Washington
      1981 VW Pickup "GTI", 1984 Jetta GLI, 1991 Lexus ES250, 2001 Toyota Sienna, 2012 Kia Optima
      11-08-2006 02:41 AM #25
      uglybastid, I like your style!
      Reading this great story made my evening, I laughed out loud at the "bonner 3 miles" line, you're right about that being impressive but impractical... too funny!
      You have absolutely got the mad writing skills and the mad taping skills, thank you for sharing both of them with us.
      It's great that this trip will live on in your memory, and now it's immortalized on the Vortex as well.
      Thank you for sharing, this is definitely one of the "best trips of 2006" contenders, that's for sure!
      Take care, tape safely...
      P.S. Good thing you didn't see any Boobies, you probably would have made the girls a nice set of blue tape bras!
      Driving a Mark 1 VW on a near-daily basis for over 30 years. (that means I'm old, huh?)

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