very loaded question as everyone and their mom has their own 'favorite' brands...
what you'll need:
2 wash buckets (1 for soap/water, 1 for clean water)
good micro fiber wash mit
tire cleaner (not wheel cleaner)
separate mit/soft sponge for lowest couple of inches of body panels
nice microfiber towels to dry
detailer spray if you wish
clay bar if you really want to get her smooth
if i were you, i'd search youtube for videos/suggestions/tips or visit the vortex detailing forum
http://forums.vwvortex.com/forumdisplay.php?24-Detailing-Forum
as far as to the HOW, here is what i generally do
soap/water in 1 bucket, clean water is 2nd bucket
hose off car (i typically focus on one area rather than hosing the whole car down at once)
start at top of car and work way down and around. after washing one particular section, i hose it off before moving to the next section
tires/wheels can be done first or last, whichever. it may be good to use a separate sponge/wheel brush for these so that the contents/dirt do not get smeared along the body panels.
wipe excess water from car (i dont attempt to dry it here)
pull car into garage (just to get it out of the sun/heat, although i know this may not be an option for everyone)
if not using a claybar: apply detailing spray -i usually use 1 towel with the first pass in wiping off the spray and a second for a second pass to completely dry the area, changing the parts of the towels as i go
if using a claybar: (if using a claybar, it's rather straight-forward but it will take some time and is probably a good thing to do every once in a while.)
after whole car has been massaged by the claybar, i'd go over the car with the detailing spray at this time.