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    Thread: My Wife left me so I did a thing

    1. Member n0rdicalex.'s Avatar
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      06-25-2019 08:19 AM #51
      Quote Originally Posted by AVCon View Post
      I moved into and up scale mini home park filled with retired couples, I don;t think they appreciate my taste of cars lol.
      just watch out for the park supervisor.

      welcome to the layer cake

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    3. Member Heffernan's Avatar
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      06-25-2019 08:49 AM #52
      Congrats on the divorce Been there myself back in 2011.
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      I cannot begin to imagine the amount of gas that has gone through both the engine and those seats.
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      I've pulled 1.2g on the toilet so color me unimpressed.
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      06-25-2019 09:17 AM #53
      Quote Originally Posted by AVCon View Post
      Long story short about 3 months ago my wife at the time decided she wasn't happy and wanted to separate. As bad as the situation was given we had 2 kids I tried to make the best of it. Then it dawned on me I could finally do what I wanted vehicle wise. She wouldn't allow me to have a car that I truly enjoyed because of wither price, fuel consumption or unreliability. About a month I go I started looking at new cars, went and test drove a Rabbit Gti, Civic Si and WRX. Pricing wasn't where I needed so I decided to look at cheaper project type cars but everything I liked was too much money or too much work. I was looking at everything from Mk4 Gti's to forth gen Mustang GT's. A few weeks went by and I got a call from my VW dealer wanting to know if I was still interested, I told them yes but needed to be at a certain payment. At this point I decided to revisit the Civic Si and the WRX. I wasn't a huge fan of the SI both in appearance and the drive. I liked the WRX but I just couldn't get the deal where I needed. So back to VW I went, with a little back and forth I agreed to a deal on a base 2019 Gti 6 speed. I walked away from my 2017 Jetta with no debit carried over and got a decent amount off the lease price that is made the deal too hard to say no to. I had test drove a Rabbit trim level before and while I liked it I actually liked the base model slightly more, I wasn't a fan of the 18's and wanted red so I was happy to take the base model.

      It's been such a long time since I had a car that actually made me smile. I know it's not some crazy excotic rare car or has a ton of power but the way it feels is a huge improvement over the Jetta in so many ways. Just getting behind the wheel makes my day and I really needed that. I don't have anything crazy planned for it other than just drive it. I'd like to get the windows tinted and maybe a set of wheels at some point but not in a rush.

      The view from the front of my store.

      Congrats. They are great cars. After my last divorce i picked up a 2013 GTI, it was a nice sporty hatch and i enjoyed it as well, it did make me smile. Just a base model. You will have many adventures in it, with women, with life...and you will fondly look back and remember this GTI. I traded my GTI on a 2016 FiST and think back with a smile about the adventures in newly found bachelorhood with it, exploring a new state (moved after wrapping it up). Best of luck.

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      06-25-2019 09:25 AM #54
      Quote Originally Posted by Tommietank View Post
      Congrats amigo. Hit the gym is common advice I hear. Keep the pics coming and any car updates.
      Very good advice. I am not a fitness guy by any means but i was working out daily when one of my relationships ended and remember thinking how much that helped not only deal with the ending of one, but helping with confidence to go get the next. One guy i knew got into bike-riding pretty hardcore as a coping mechanism. Certainly anything physical is better than smoking, junk food and booze.
      Last edited by Lawrider; 06-25-2019 at 09:25 AM. Reason: typo

    6. 06-25-2019 09:47 AM #55
      Half expected a lime green Lotus or something. Sensible car is sensible.
      Sorry you're going through some bad times. I've been married to my current wife twice, and for the year and a half we were split I was gutted.
      I coped by living in bars every night and blowing five figures on modifying a car. But I also was talking to a professional a few times a month. Those $100 sessions were money well spent.
      I highly recommend talking to someone. Get things off your chest. There's no shame in it, mental health is key.
      Good luck to you man.
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    7. Member Form Ocean's Avatar
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      06-25-2019 10:48 AM #56
      Quote Originally Posted by AVCon View Post
      Come with me if you want to live.

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      06-25-2019 11:16 AM #57
      Congrats!
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      Back when making your car faster and better handling was the big thing.
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    9. Member davewg's Avatar
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      06-25-2019 11:32 AM #58
      Quote Originally Posted by atomicalex View Post
      I cannot imagine why a base GTI is not a good family car.

      We have always had some variety of Golf for my spouse - he loves them and they are fun and easy to own. Plus - hatch! I have no idea how a Jetta is a better family car - the hatch wins every competition - looks, space, value, etc. Even fun - you can take fun with you if you have a hatchback.

      Maybe she did you a favor?
      Agree with all of this.

      Quote Originally Posted by Hawk View Post
      Haha.

      I love my wife and she loves me, but man, do two young kinds under 3 years old (which we have right now) put incredible pressures on an otherwise happy relationship. The kids are wonderful and I'm so glad we had them, but time and money-wise they put HUGE stress on the relationship and I can TOTALLY understand why some marriages collapse under the added pressure. And we're blessed enough to have stable jobs and stable network of friends and family with no health issues. And it's still a real slog some days. I can't imagine how folks with special needs kids or crazy financial pressure do it. Marriage and kids are beautiful, but it's also super tough and doesn't all just naturally magically hang together without a serious commitment from both sides.

      Our kids are 20 months apart, so I know where you're coming from with this, But one day you wake up and they're 18 and 20 and you think how the hell did that happen?
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    10. Member Dirty Hatch's Avatar
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      06-25-2019 12:03 PM #59
      Congrats on getting a car you want, it's too bad it took your Wife leaving you to get it. I have met many people who are married to someone who wont let them buy or do what they want (within reason of course). Every time I go to a car related event, my BIL always acts interested but bails at the last minute. He always uses the kids as an excuse, but I know it's his Wife putting a guilt trip on him. My Wife and I have completely different tastes in cars, so we set a budget and tell the other one, get whatever you want in that price range.

      Anyway, enjoy your GTI. I had a 18 SE in the same color, but got totaled. The MKVII doesn't seem to be great in a specific area, but it does everything good. I would have bought another one, but my Wife decided she wanted something different.

      Hope everything works out for you!

    11. Member atomicalex's Avatar
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      06-25-2019 12:57 PM #60
      Quote Originally Posted by davewg View Post
      But one day you wake up and they're 18 and 20 and you think how the hell did that happen?
      Same way we got 20 years older, duh!
      たくさんとうふ、よ Where did all these damn Toyotas come from?
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      06-25-2019 01:12 PM #61
      Quote Originally Posted by HotCarlWeathers View Post
      Yikes, man.

      You've got me counting my lucky stars over here; my wife recently said to me "once we get all this work wrapped up, you'll be able to get into a fun car one of these days" and I already drive a GTI
      I figure in 3 years I will have my bike, and both my wife's and daughter's cars paid off. My truck is already paid off. Then it will be time to go shopping for a classic car, preferably a resto-mod.
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    13. Member Pnuu's Avatar
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      06-25-2019 01:22 PM #62
      Quote Originally Posted by Lawrider View Post
      Very good advice. I am not a fitness guy by any means but i was working out daily when one of my relationships ended and remember thinking how much that helped not only deal with the ending of one, but helping with confidence to go get the next. One guy i knew got into bike-riding pretty hardcore as a coping mechanism. Certainly anything physical is better than smoking, junk food and booze.
      Quote Originally Posted by Mr Euro View Post
      Half expected a lime green Lotus or something. Sensible car is sensible.
      Sorry you're going through some bad times. I've been married to my current wife twice, and for the year and a half we were split I was gutted.
      I coped by living in bars every night and blowing five figures on modifying a car. But I also was talking to a professional a few times a month. Those $100 sessions were money well spent.
      I highly recommend talking to someone. Get things off your chest. There's no shame in it, mental health is key.
      Good luck to you man.
      I'll second both of these.

      OP:

      If you're not already, get active with SOMETHING that you can sweat your stress out. The added benefit is that you'll be in better shape, look better, and have more confidence.

      And then the mental health side is most important. We're gradually getting over the stigma that's plagued our society for a long time, but many people are still hesitant to talk through their internal issues. Just the initial feeling of getting those thoughts and feelings out is a weight off your chest.

    14. Geriatric Member BRealistic's Avatar
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      06-25-2019 01:25 PM #63
      What kind of second wife can you attract with a red GTI?

    15. Member NoXenons's Avatar
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      06-25-2019 01:32 PM #64
      Long story short about 3 months ago my wife at the time decided she wasn't happy and wanted to separate.
      She wouldn't allow me to have a car that I truly enjoyed
      She wasn't happy even though you made a big personal sacrifice (and probably many more), typical
      "No manual, no care."

      Quote Originally Posted by davewg View Post
      It wasn't just about the top of the dash. Or stroking it. It was just the overall feel inside the cabin. Everything was fine until you looked at the dashboard.

    16. Member DerSpiegel's Avatar
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      06-25-2019 01:35 PM #65
      Quote Originally Posted by n0rdicalex. View Post
      just watch out for the park supervisor.



    17. Member Uber Wagon's Avatar
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      06-25-2019 01:54 PM #66
      Quote Originally Posted by AVCon View Post


      I moved into and up scale mini home park filled with retired couples, I don;t think they appreciate my taste of cars lol.
      Sorry about your marriage, but congratulations on the car. Now go pick up some hot chicks in your car.
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    18. Member GruuvenNorth's Avatar
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      06-25-2019 01:56 PM #67
      Quote Originally Posted by BRealistic View Post
      What kind of second wife can you attract with a red GTI?
      You can tell them they can ride the red rocket.

      Instant tropical mid-section.
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      06-25-2019 03:29 PM #68
      Quote Originally Posted by n0rdicalex. View Post
      just watch out for the park supervisor.

      Knew someone would go there, that's why I said up scale lol. It's temporary housing situation. It's super nice, afford and had room for the kids. I lucked into the day my wife told me, I was all too prepared for this. We had a rough batch a few years ago and she stayed but I have it all planned out if it every happened again. I plan to either buy a house or build next year. But I am oddly happy with the mini home at the moment so I'm not rushing a thing.

      Funny thing is that show was filmed like an hour away from me. I've been on the set once, meet Mr Lahey and Ricky.


      Quote Originally Posted by Lawrider View Post
      Very good advice. I am not a fitness guy by any means but i was working out daily when one of my relationships ended and remember thinking how much that helped not only deal with the ending of one, but helping with confidence to go get the next. One guy i knew got into bike-riding pretty hardcore as a coping mechanism. Certainly anything physical is better than smoking, junk food and booze.
      I thought of hitting the gym but I have my 2 kids about year second of third day and with my dog I don't seem to have the free time to go. I work out at home with just basic dumbbells but keeps my mind busy every evening. The project car I was looking for was to keep myself busy but seemed like too much of a money pit for everything I was looking at. I also considered getting a bike, that was my frist thought. Always wanted one, they are cheap to buy and run but I really wanted something the kids and I could all enjoy.



      Quote Originally Posted by Pnuu View Post
      I'll second both of these.

      OP:

      If you're not already, get active with SOMETHING that you can sweat your stress out. The added benefit is that you'll be in better shape, look better, and have more confidence.

      And then the mental health side is most important. We're gradually getting over the stigma that's plagued our society for a long time, but many people are still hesitant to talk through their internal issues. Just the initial feeling of getting those thoughts and feelings out is a weight off your chest.
      I jog and walk my dog a lot now. And like I mentioned above I am working out at home. My dog needs lot of attention and spends a lot of time in her kennel or I would be going to the gym.

      I went to a consular a few times and found it helped. I have the support of my family and some really good friends. My one buddy is actually dealing with the same thing as me, almost to the day and we've been able to support each other. When I'm down he's there and the when he's down I'm there, it's horrible to happen but both of us dealing with it at the same time is a help. He got me through some dark days for sure.


      Quote Originally Posted by BRealistic View Post
      What kind of second wife can you attract with a red GTI?
      So fair 17 year old girls . I'm not super interested in attracting anything right now, I'm just starting to enjoy the whole single life and I'm in no rush to change it.



      Quote Originally Posted by NoXenons View Post
      She wasn't happy even though you made a big personal sacrifice (and probably many more), typical
      I was all too happy to make those sacrifices. I'm only now just seeing how many I made and how many things I lost during this relationship. She wasn't bad at all, she kept us on a budget, although I did hate not evening being able to push that budget $30 for something I really wanted. She wasn't a car person at all and viewed any extra money spent on a car a huge waste. We started dating when i was pretty into cars and spent a lot of time and money on them. Once we got married I chilled out on that and once kids came I gave up all together.


      I could run her down and I could add more details to our current situation that would make her look horrible but I'm not prefect myself, even tho I know I couldn't have done anymore to keep us together. We are on good terms a the moment and seem to be managing the co parenting well. The kids are handling things surprisingly well, it's been a lot of changes in a short period of time for them and I am super proud of them for being able to understand the situation and roll with it. Last thing I want to do is make things hard on them.


      The car is awesome, after wanting something like this for I'd say 15 years since my last fun car it was long over due. The kids love, I love it and it makes us all smile. And the fact that I can afford it on only my income is the cherry on top. It makes so much more sense to me than running two vehicles. Well I might look for a 1/4 ton truck down the road but only if I find a good deal just so I have soemthing that I don't mind abusing and getting dirty, not owning 2 cars. Only thing I would change about the car is I would have liked push button start. I assumed this had it after testing driving the Rabbit edition which did. I'm glad I went with the 17's, I wasn't a fan of the 18's or the machined/ painted centers. I was all set on getting an intake, tinting the windows and some other things but I'm not going to do any of that for awhile.
      Last edited by AVCon; 06-25-2019 at 03:33 PM.

    20. Junior Member DerBaldGuy's Avatar
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      06-25-2019 04:00 PM #69
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    21. Senior Member VWVan's Avatar
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      06-25-2019 04:16 PM #70
      Quote Originally Posted by AVCon View Post
      So fair 17 year old girls . I'm not super interested in attracting anything right now, I'm just starting to enjoy the whole single life and I'm in no rush to change it.



    22. Senior Member AZGolf's Avatar
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      06-25-2019 04:21 PM #71
      Quote Originally Posted by AVCon View Post
      I'm not super interested in attracting anything right now, I'm just starting to enjoy the whole single life and I'm in no rush to change it.
      It's been 5 years since my divorce and I feel like my life is so much better that I don't know that I'd ever want to get married again. I may date or something, but once you're past the child-rearing years, I'm not sure I see any point in getting married ever again. Enjoy what you have and I'd suggest not even dating for at least a few years.

    23. Member Meroving1an's Avatar
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      06-25-2019 04:34 PM #72
      Many beers and happy journeys.

    24. Don't be me. Don't be a 'Rick' Cabin Pics's Avatar
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      06-25-2019 04:35 PM #73
      I should get a divorce.
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      06-25-2019 04:57 PM #74
      Quote Originally Posted by Cabin Pics View Post
      I should get a divorce.
      I think this thread may lead to a "What would car would you buy if you got a divorce?" thread.

    26. Member 66Satellite's Avatar
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      06-25-2019 05:25 PM #75
      Nice car

      Better days ahead

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